About her......
She was from the far east. From a country ravaged by decades of war that now simmered with a truce that had been put in place before she was born. She grew up there but had been drawn here to the US by the prospects of a better life. Her family wasn't poor, but they weren't rich either. There was a large gap between the have's and the have-not's.
Like many third world countries, the rich in her country made sure that they remained rich and in power. Her family and others like them didn't have much of a chance to climb up the economic ladder. She knew that the opportunities for her were going to be few and far between if she stayed there.
She had come to the US with her boyfriend from her home town. They were in love with each other and wanted to make a new future for themselves. Soon after settling she discovered that she was pregnant. Happily she informed her boyfriend of her pregnancy. She had hoped that he would be happy also as they had often talked of their future hopes and dreams, and part of that conversation involved having a family. However a week later, she woke up to find that he had left and had taken all his things with him.
She was devastated beyond belief! How was she to fend for herself and her unborn child? What was she to do? What will become of her? Left alone in a strange land. She spent at least a week depressed and listless. But one morning she awoke feeling that something was different. Placing a hand on the slight bulge below her stomach, she couldn't help but feel happy for the new life that was growing in her womb.
With a growing resolve, determined to protect and nurture her unborn child, she went to school and learned rudimentary English quickly in order to find employment. She found others like herself. Others from her home country who came before her for the same reason; for a better life. From that group came opportunities for employment. She took the jobs that were offered and soon found her niche as a night bookkeeper at one of the larger hotels in downtown San Francisco.
She gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She was overjoyed and took to motherhood with a passion. The years passed by quickly as work and tending to her daughter's needs occupied most of her time. She was recognized for her hard work and intelligence, and was promoted to be the manager of the night shift accounting department. After several years, she was promoted again, this time to be the overall manager of the hotel's accounting department. Not just because of her skills and hard work, but also because of her ability to work with others and the compassion she had for the people who worked with her.
Her daughter was smart and did well in school. Determined to please her mother, she graduated at the top of her high school class and went on to become an aeronautical engineer. Prior to her graduation from college, she choose to accept a position at a highly regarded aeronautical design company in Arizona. She had been highly sought after and interviewed extensively by others. She was definitely on her way.
About me.....
I grew up in southern California. My grandparents immigrated from Japan and settled in the San Bernardino valley and worked as farm laborers. Indentured to the land, theirs' was a hard life however they were determined that their children would have a better future. They saved and bought farm land. Built a farm for themselves. Prospered and raised their children. My parents did the same along with one of my uncles. Bought adjoining property and added to grandpa and grandma's farm. Worked hard. Prospered and raised me and my cousins.
I was sent off to get my college education. As my father told me, "you should have a job that keeps your hands clean!" He kidded me often about my soft hands however there couldn't have been a prouder dad in the world the day he saw me graduate with my degree in accounting.
I immersed myself in my new occupation; getting my CPA license shortly thereafter, then working for one of the major national accounting firms. I focused on proving my abilities and didn't let anything else distract me. Moving my career forward became my obsession. It wasn't unusual to find me working 6 and 7-days each week.
I took positions that no one else wanted. I saw it as a way to prove to myself that I had what it took to become successful. Auditor in Redmond, Assistant Audit Manager in Sante Fe, Audit Manager in Spokane. No accountant in their right mind would make a career out of doing audits. The work is mind numbing and tedious, yet I took those assignments when they were offered.
This caught the eye of a regional director in San Francisco and one day he called me in to have coffee. That was a turning point for me. He became my mentor as well as my champion. He put me in charge of the San Francisco office and made me a partner shortly thereafter. I worked hard and was amply rewarded. My mentor was proud. My parents were proud. I was happy.
Unexpectedly, my world was turned upside down one day when my uncle called to tell me that dad had a heart attack and was in intensive care. His prognosis was uncertain. I heard my mother crying in the background and knew that it wasn't good.
I had my staff cancel all my appointments and caught the earliest flight out, only to arrive as they pulled the life support from my father's lifeless body. My father who was the foundation of our family. The rock of my family. My mother's husband. My dad; my best friend. He was gone. Gone from my life.
I was in a daze but somehow functioned enough to go through the motions and made the arrangements for his funeral. Family and friends came from all over. It was a time to grieve as well as to reconnect. Mom decided to continue to live on the farm as all of her friends were there as well as several close family members.
I left to return to San Francisco several days after dad's funeral. I was still hurting from losing dad. Yes he was getting old however he was otherwise in good health. I guess it was just his time. I had never thought of the possibility that he would eventually die. He was always there for me; for us. It was hard to accept.
On a whim, I decided to take a rental car up the California coast highway, up to San Fran instead of flying back. I soon found myself driving the winding road along the cliffs and beaches that mark the coast line. The drive was very therapeutic as it gave me time to think. I found myself thinking of how enjoyable it was to be with my mother and other family members again, even though the occasion was a somber one. The closeness of family felt good. It felt right. It was something that was missing in my life. I wanted to feel good again. I longed for it.
No matter all the successes in my professional life, there was a large, gapping hole in my personal life. There was no one to share it with. There was no family to come home to every night. There was no one to celebrate joyful occasions with. No one to cry and be sad with. No one to love and no one to love me. I felt hollow and empty. The family and friends that gathered after my father's death brought these feelings to the surface. I felt incomplete.
The Plane.......
About a month after my father's funeral, I had flown to Atlanta to attend a national conference for managers and was on my way back. The conference had ended on a Friday giving others an excuse to play tourist in Atlanta if they felt like it. However I've been there many times and just wanted to get back home.
Travel plans had me make a stopover in Denver to connect to a flight bound for San Fran. We had deplaned and I made my way to the new departure gate to wait for the flight to San Fran.. As I scanned the holding area for a seat, I couldn't help but notice a strikingly beautiful asian women who sat by herself. She was dressed modestly yet very tastefully. A soft pink sweater top, white jeans and sandals with a light tan overcoat in her lap. Her beauty radiated from her and intimidated me.
I took a seat several rows away, however situated myself so I could watch her while not being too obvious. I felt guilty but also thrilled at the same time. What was I doing? I'm not a stalker! But she was so beautiful.
She had her laptop out and I could see that she was hard at work. A flight agent came up to her to give her a boarding pass. I saw her smile and could see that she was saying something to the agent. The agent turned to return to her post and I could see that she was smiling also. Most travelers treat flight agents with indifference at best. Whoever she was, she must have treated the agent very nicely in order to get the agent to smile.
I sighed. I would love to meet this attractive woman however its not something I knew I could do. I couldn't just walk up to her and introduce myself. That would seem too forward. In the past I wished I had the courage to do just that but it just wasn't who I was.
I, who hadn't dated since college, now found myself unable to take even a first step towards meeting this beautiful woman. I wasn't exactly a Casanova in college however I did manage to keep a semblance of a social life. I was never one to put on weight so I remained fairly trim. I wasn't that bad looking I guess. I had hit the big "4-0" several years ago so the grey hairs had started to make their presence known. Some things can't be helped. Well, what do I do? What do I want to do? I felt pathetic and miserable.
