Subway Girl Ch 12

Alicia's dad looked like a lumberjack in a golf shirt, and his personality took up even more space than his frame. I met him along with Alicia and her mom at a restaurant the one night there was an overlap in her parents' visits. "Steve Klaer, Alicia's dad," he said, shaking my hand firmly and smacking me on the back simultaneously. Damn, he was intimidating. He had a barrel chest, a short beard, a loud voice, and a big smile. I could see that Alicia got her mouth and nose from him and her coloring from her mom.

Steve had a gregarious personality and teased his wife and daughter when not talking to me. I asked about his business. "Garage doors," he said. "I didn't plan on it. Want to guess what my major was in college?"

He didn't give me a chance to answer and I wasn't sure if splitting wood was a major. "History! Hell, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, but I got a job doing sales out of college and then Janice and I bought our first house, a real dog, a fixer-upper. But I couldn't find a garage door I liked so I created my own. I've always had a knack for working with my hands. Next thing you know the neighbors start asking me to build them one, so I start working out of that garage and one thing leads to another until twenty-five years later I am the biggest fabricator of custom garage doors in California, Nevada, and Arizona."

"Wow. I didn't even realize there was a need for custom garage doors."

"Well, we've got some impressive real estate out there, but then the recession hit and thank God I had the foresight to diversify and didn't stick to just residential doors. We started installing aluminum roll up doors and you know how we made it through the recession?"

Again he didn't wait for me to answer.

"Storage units. Hell, people in California started losing their homes or downsizing, but they didn't want to give up their stuff. Storage units started popping up like crazy in the desert communities. We'd get these jobs for a couple hundred doors at a time. So what about you? Alicia told me you're in construction."

"Yes," I answered, "We are working on a loft conversion right now. I love it."

"Ray is a supervisor already!" Alicia interrupted, but I didn't mind. "And he is only twenty-two! And he's amazing at soccer, and a really good dancer, and he reads all the time, and -- "

"Dancer!" Steve asked in mockery, but he was smiling. "Ballet?"

"Salsa, smart ass." It was Janice who intervened.

"Well, you sure have won over the Klaer women, young Ray-salsa-dancer-extraordinaire!" He was laughing and teasing me, but I didn't care. I was totally taken aback by Alicia bragging about me like that. She made me sound like such a good catch, I couldn't believe it. I shuddered to consider what Steve would think if he knew his daughter had hugged a guy out of near homelessness.

I looked over at Alicia who smiled back at me. She looked really pretty with her hair up and these drooping-down dangly earrings. I admired her long neck for a few seconds, and then went back to her eyes. "What, Ray?" she smiled shyly.

I told her what I was thinking. "You look especially pretty tonight." She smiled at me and brought her hand to her face. I wasn't even considering her parents at that moment, but they were watching us and not saying anything until Steve said, "I guess it's going to be pretty hard for you two to say good-bye." There was a pause in conversation, but Alicia and I maintained eye contact.

"Maybe Ray can come out for a visit when he can get some time off," Janice suggested. Alicia was still looking at me and even though we weren't speaking, I felt like I was reading her mind and she was telling me not to worry. Then I felt her bare foot caressing my shin. Steve and Janice started talking about the business and their other daughters and the logistics of moving everything back while Alicia and I remained quiet. I noticed some stress as they talked about the grandmother staying with the teens and about how they were both missing work. I really was getting a sense of what a big deal this was to their whole family and I felt anxious about Alicia telling her dad she wasn't going home. She already told me she was going to wait until her mom left to have that scary conversation.

The waitress brought our food and I saw Alicia tense up. She stared at her plate and whispered, "I asked for my dressing on the side." Steve got an irritated look on his face and Janice started looking around for the waitress and Alicia said, "No, Mom, it's okay. I'm going to eat this food and digest it and be okay." I smiled hearing her mantra, but her parents didn't seem to notice.

After eating I had my hand resting on Alicia's and she was stroking my leg with her bare foot again. Steve glanced at my hand and said, "We are going to be really crowded in that little apartment tonight. Not to mention the fact that I have missed my lovely wife." He put his hand on Janice's shoulder and she smiled at him. "Alicia, why don't you stay at Ray's tonight? We will come and get you early in the morning, on the way to taking your mom to the airport."

Alicia looked at me beaming and I'm sure I was smiling just as big. Alicia excused herself to go to the restroom and Janice immediately jumped up to follow her, leaving just me and Steve at the table. "Don't let her go in the bathroom alone," he warned me. "I'm serious."

"Okay," I agreed. I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell him that I loved her and would take good care of her, but I couldn't. He still believed she was going back to California with him. We would need to have that conversation later.

We said goodbye to her parents and Alicia and I got into our own taxi. Alicia attacked me as soon as we were alone in the cab. "I've wanted to kiss you all night," she whispered in my ear, with her hand roaming the front of my pants. "Do you have condoms at home?"

"No, but there is a little market a few doors down from me."

"Good. I want to get a toothbrush and leave it at your place." She kissed my neck but I was not very responsive. I was busy worrying about what she might think of my apartment, but at least it was clean. When we got home, I opened the door and Alicia stepped inside and said, "Whoa, did your roommate take everything with him?" My place was spotless, but sparse with just a futon, coffee table, and a few books on a shelf.

"Yeah, he took everything," I laughed, not really explaining that everything was taken long before he moved out, or that there were two of them.

"Next time there is a rummage sale, we should go get some stuff for your walls."

"Good idea," I agreed. Alicia went to the bathroom and I followed her. "What are you doing?"

"I promised your dad."

"No, Ray. We are not going to do that. I am not going to let that start with us. You have to trust me."

"But I promised your dad."

"No, you have a relationship with me, not my dad. We are not going to start that pattern," she said sternly. "Do you really think I can be watched all the time? Ray, I am going to get better because I want to. Monitoring what I eat or following me into the bathroom doesn't work. My parents should know that by now, but they don't."

"They're just worried about you, babe. I am too."

"I know, I'm sorry," her voice softened. "But Ray, you cannot go in the bathroom with me. I promise to be out in thirty seconds."

And she was. Completely nude. "Wow," I took her in with my eyes, completely blown away that Alicia was standing in my apartment in all her naked glory.

"Let's get you naked too," she said, and dropped to her knees in front of me and started undoing my belt buckle.

I pulled my shirt off while Alicia worked on my pants. This evening was going so much better than expected, I couldn't believe it. Thirty minutes ago we were having dinner with her parents. Now Alicia was nude in my apartment kneeling in front of me. I looked down at my Dream-Girl and admired her beautiful backside as she freed me from my pants.

"Whoa," I exclaimed as she took me in her mouth, my pants still slumped around my ankles. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feeling of her warm wet mouth caressing me over and over. She had a vise grip on me and her other hand on my butt. I stroked her silky hair and opened my eyes, feeling overwhelmed with lust and love, two feelings I didn't know could coexist. She was taking me more deeply into her mouth and started massaging my balls at the same time, then she backed her head up and began doing long licks, long strokes while looking up at me.

"My knees are sore," she giggled, so I stepped out of my pants and put my hands under her arms and lifted her up and kissed her fervently. Alicia lifted a leg around me so I used both hands to lift her butt so that she was completely off the ground, both legs around me.

"Wow, you're so strong."

"And you're so hot," I said as I lifted her up a little higher, then lowered her down onto me. I was surprised I could do that standing up and didn't know how long I could maintain it, but it felt amazing to have her engulf me with all her hot and tight goodness without a condom. Without a condom... Uh-oh. "How long until the pill works?" I asked.

"A few weeks," she answered, lowering her leg so that I squatted and sat her down. She retrieved a condom from her purse and put one on me and I was planning to lift her again, but she stepped over to the futon and put both hands on the back and bent over. God, I loved having her in my apartment.

I held her hips in my hands and Alicia gasped as I entered her from behind, "Oh my god, Ray, you feel so amazing!"

"So do you," I answered, kissing the back of her neck and reaching around to squeeze her breast. She backed her butt into me with every thrust and reached her own hand down between her legs to apply more pressure, leaving my hands free to roam her beautiful body as we moved in unison. She was squirming her butt around like crazy and I grabbed her hips again to slow her down. I couldn't last with her moving like that but she moaned and begged so I let her loose again and she started wiggling again, reminding me who was the boss. I would do anything for her. Anything.

She was backing into me in a side-to-side motion that felt really incredible. Alicia started clenching and squeezing me in a way that was blowing my mind and when she cried out in pleasure, I let myself go and just enjoyed her clenching that was milking every drop out of me. Alicia's legs started twitching in a way I had never seen before and it almost scared me for a second, but then she collapsed on the couch and was laughing with giddiness and exclaiming, "Oh my god, how can that be? It just keeps getting better!"

"I know, right? Maybe because we are getting more comfortable with each other."

"Then imagine what it will be like a year from now," she said.

"You'll be sick of me by then," I assured her and Alicia rolled over and looked at me.

"You must be kidding," she said. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Ray. I am the one with all the issues. I hope you don't get sick of me. But you have given me great motivation to get better."

I stroked her cheek and moved her hair out of her face. I felt dishonest allowing her to think I am some great guy with a good job and no issues and that she was the one with all the problems. I didn't plan on it, but I told her. I told her everything -- about my year of near homelessness and about Thomas and Jeff and how I was depressed. I told her about how I didn't comb my hair and it got all matted and how I sometimes went days without uttering a single word to another human being. I told her about how I slept at the park or at libraries, and how I ate food that people left on their trays and how sometimes I was so hungry I would watch someone throw food in the trash then retrieve it. I told her about how lonely I was and how I felt invisible.

"Well, that explains it," Alicia answered matter-of-factly.

"Explains what?"

"Why you seem so much older than twenty-two. You've seen a lot and been through a lot and that is probably why you are the way you are. So kind. Not judgmental."

I looked down at her dumbfounded. "You mean to tell me that you see my past as an asset? You could love a guy who ate out of trashcans?"

"Pfff," Alicia made a noise and waved her hand. "Yeah I can. Can you love a girl who puked in jars?"

I looked at her with question marks in my eyes and she went on, "When I was sixteen, my parents put a padlock on the bathroom door so that I couldn't go in there and throw up. My sisters and I would have to go into their bathroom at night where they could hear us. But I got around that. I would save empty jars and keep them in my closet, then puke into them and put the lid back on. The thing was, I couldn't put them in the trash where my mom would see them, so they started stacking up in the back of my closet. I must have had thirty jars full of puke stacked up against the wall and one day my mom found them. Can you imagine how horrifying that was for her? That is when they sent me to the residential program."

"Oh my god, that is so sick," I said. I couldn't help it, it just came out and I couldn't pretend not to be disturbed. Thankfully, Alicia started laughing.

"Oh yeah, it really was. But you should talk, Mr. Eats-Out-of-Trashcans! I'd say we are pretty even," and she was laughing and so was I. I kissed her and told her I loved her even though she was totally disgusting and she laughed and said it was mutual. I couldn't believe how great I felt. I didn't know keeping that secret from Alicia was such a burden and now I didn't have to worry about what she found out or if she would reject me. She must have felt the same relief. We were both lying there naked, more naked than we have ever been now that our secrets were out.

"I won't follow you into the bathroom or get on you about your eating, but I do want to know about the scratches on your hands."

"Sticking my hand down my throat, making myself gag."

I shuddered. I pictured something much daintier, like a finger gently going into her mouth, but now I had an insight into the violence that she inflicted on herself. I hugged her tighter.

"Don't worry, Ray. I told you because I don't want to keep doing it."

"I know, babe." I kissed her forehead, hoping she could close the gap between wanting to stop and actually stopping.

*****

We were standing out on the sidewalk when Alicia's parents pulled up in a cab. I said goodbye to Janice and gave Alicia a quick kiss before heading off to work. Today I was teaching Joe, the new guy, how to remove the bathroom fixtures. He seemed like a hard worker, but he lacked skills. He needed a lot of practice and he was nervous with me watching him, so I stepped away to look at my phone.

Alicia and I had not made plans for that evening and I figured that she was going to do something with her dad, but I got a text saying she told him and her dad was really pissed, worse than she expected.

I asked if she wanted me to come over and she wrote back "Yes. He wants to talk to you."

A feeling of dread came over me, so I tried to just focus on work until it was time to go.

After showering, I walked over to Alicia's house, trying to be calm and not worry about what her dad might want to say to me. I stopped in at Tracy's flower shop, but not to buy flowers. She was busy making an arrangement and there was a customer in the shop, but she stopped to talk to me.

"Hey, no flowers today, but I just wanted to tell you how much I liked your writing. I was wondering if it would be okay if I let my friend William read it too. I'm interested to hear what he has to say and I think you might be too. He's a librarian and really knows his stuff."

"Really? That would be great! I could use all the help I could get." Tracy turned to her computer and started the printer, "But I want to hear what you think about it!"

"It's really good. I made some notes on the margins and I want to give it back to you and take the next chapter, but I didn't bring it with me."

"Oh, that's okay. I am so excited about it! I just joined a writer's group that meets at the library twice a month! Tomorrow's my first day!"

"Agnes?"

"No, Mid-Manhattan."

"That's where William works. What time is it over? I'll just meet you there."

"Eight o'clock." Tracy answered and handed me a fresh stack of papers.

"Cool. I love that library. I'll see ya then."

*****

Alicia's little apartment felt tiny with Steve Klaer in it. He took up a lot of space and paced around and made waving hand gestures in the air and I kept thinking he was going to accidently knock something over. He wasted no time telling me what was on his mind. "So Alicia's trying to convince me it is a good idea for her to stay in New York, but obviously she doesn't know what's good for her. I can see that you two have gotten pretty close and you're at least part of the reason she wants to stay here, but I just can't have that. How do you think if feels to be three thousand miles away while your little girl is killing herself?" He didn't wait for an answer to his rhetorical question. "So I've been thinking, Ray: you seem like a nice enough guy and Alicia's crazy about you, so why don't you come to California and work for me? I'll start you out in sales until you learn the business -- that's the best way to learn it. And rents are high, but no higher than here and you'd have more space." He gestured to the room with his hands spread wide.

I looked over at Alicia and her eyes were big. I got the impression it was the first time she had heard her dad's master plan. Steve stared at me expectantly and I didn't know what to say. I was caught completely off guard. "You mind if I talk to Alicia alone for a minute?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"We'll step outside," Alicia spoke. "I need some air."

"Fine. Talk it over. Tell him about the weather and... and... tell him about surfing."

Alicia and I walked outside and when we got to the stoop we sat down on the step.

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that," I admitted.

"I wasn't either," Alicia replied. "That was an interesting chess move."

"Well," I said slowly, carefully choosing my words, "It is pretty obvious your dad loves you, Alicia. You're lucky to have a family that loves you so much."

"Yes," she answered thoughtfully. "Too much sometimes. I mean, I appreciate what he is trying to do, but I've been talking to my therapist Margaret about this. It's really time for me to grow up and quit taking from them anyway. I know this is going to be really hard on them, but I can't go back and live under their wings. That's one of the reasons I want to stay, so I can show them they don't have to worry about me, but it's going to take a long time to win that trust. I couldn't do it with them hovering over me, stealing door knobs, making me get on the scale and all that stuff. Besides... I love New York. I love you."

I put my arm around her and said, "I love you too, Alicia. And I can't see myself being any good at sales."

Alicia laughed, "Garage doors, Ray! Come on, get excited! And then there's surfing!"

"Yeah, well, I'll bet it is a nice place to visit, but I'm really starting to like my life here," I said, just realizing it for the first time myself. "Yeah, I got some good stuff going on, I don't want to start over. Plus, to be honest, I don't like the idea of being under your dad's wing either."

"But there's surfing!" Alicia teased me, smiling. "Surfing, Ray."

I don't know why we thought that was so damn funny because I'd never even thought about surfing before, but it did sound ridiculous and we were both cracking up.

"Well, how are we going to work this out?"

"I am going to work it out, Ray. I mean, I want your emotional support, but I don't want you to try to fix this. I have already made some big changes and I'm going to be okay. I told my boss I'd like to work full time and he was really happy about it. After my leave of absence, of course. I am definitely going to do that outpatient program Margaret got me into."