Have you ever been struck by love?
I mean the sudden gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, dry-mouth and sweaty palms kind of love. I was forty-two years old and I had never felt that kind of love. I was even married once for ten years. We were good friends before the marriage and remained good friends afterwards, but we discovered just being friends was not enough. We were both looking for that spark and we couldn't find it with each other.
On a chilled January morning I found it for the first time. I own my own roofing company. I have seven full time employees and a half a dozen temps at any one time, and mostly I drive from one job to another making sure everything is going well. It was early in the morning and I decided to start with the closest place first. We were putting a new roof on a modest little house in a quiet subdivision. I don't do houses very much because I hate the hassle of dealing with insurance companies. I like the big business places that pay on company checks and worry about their own insurance.
Mrs. Childs, an elderly lady who owned the house was a distance relative of my former wife and I had agreed to take care of it for her at cost. My two guys were already on the roof when I parked on the street and when I checked the clipboard hanging from a nearby telephone pole, I saw the county inspector had been by and approved what we were doing. Everything was going according to plan.
I went up to say hello to Mrs. Childs and give her a status on the work. When I knocked, Mrs. Childs didn't open the door and the woman who did changed my life instantly.
"You must be Harry," the woman said. "Come on in. I'm Robin Smith. . I live next door. Lorna isn't feeling well this morning and I came over to keep her company."
I followed her into the house. At that moment I would have followed her anywhere. She looked like she was in her early thirties and I could see no sign of a wedding band. She wore black stretch pants and a loose white sweater. She was not tall. Her head came up to about my neck. Her hair was brown and she wore it to her shoulders and curled up at the ends. It looked a little old fashioned. Her figure was good, nicely proportioned and she had a way of walking that drew my attention to her backside and made me feel guilty. I don't know why. It was certainly not the first lady's rear end I had admired in my life. I was something of a connoisseur.
But somehow looking at hers with a tinge of lust made me feel as if I was invading her space and I didn't have the right. I can't explain it but I got a sense of something fragile about her and I felt a strong protective instinct.
If I could have been objective, I would not have called her beautiful but I could not be objective. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and from the first moment she opened the door, I was lost.
In the small kitchen Mrs. Childs sat at the table drinking coffee. She didn't look well. She was still in her housecoat and her face was pale. Her frail hands trembled as she lifted her cup.
"You really should be in bed, Lorna," Robin Smith said. "I am going to call the doctor."
"Don't bother him," Mrs. Childs answered. "He'll want to put me in the hospital again and it made me worse last time. I'll just rest some and I'll be fine. I just overdid yesterday."
"You overdo every day," Robin said, giving Mrs. Childs a hug. "You need to take better care of yourself" She looked at me and gave me a wink. "Lorna thinks she can still go like she's twenty. I hope I have half her energy when I reach her age."
"Nonsense," Mrs. Childs said. "You have the energy of two people. You're a whirlwind, child. You always have been. Grass does not grow under your feet."
Robin hugged the older woman again and said she really had to go because she was expecting a phone call from her publisher and he got real cranky when she wasn't there. She said she was happy to meet me and shook my hand. Her fingers were slim and I felt an incredible heat just touching her skin, and I felt a terrible sadness when she left the room and heard the front door shut. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to tell her that I had been looking for her all my life. I was behaving like a foolish teenage boy and I knew it, and I hope it didn't show in my face.
Perhaps it did because Mrs. Childs said, "she's very pretty, isn't she?'
"Yes," I said.
"Sit down and have some coffee and tell me how my roof is doing and I'll tell you about Robin."
It was an offer I couldn't refuse. I poured myself some coffee and sat at the table. Mrs Childs sipped her coffee and looked away from me for a moment. I thought she had forgotten what she had said because sometimes her memory slipped but then she looked back at me and smiled and I knew she was remembering the distant past.
"I have known Robin since she was a baby," Mrs. Childs began. "She is one of those special people. Her enthusiasm for life is incredible. She used to bring me things she'd found outside like a leaf or a bug or a simple piece of string and she'd make me see things like a child again. She was friendly and popular and everybody loved her. She was a cheerleader in high school and she also edited the school's newspaper but her real love was painting. When she graduated from high school, she went to live in New York for a while and she got a job editing children's books. I don't know what happened but something must have happened that was awful. A year later she came back home and it was as if the life had been drained out of her. I thought she was sick and she was but it was a sickness of the soul. She wouldn't tell me what happened although I've asked. She shrugs her shoulders and says it doesn't matter. It's only recently that I've seen that spark in her eyes again."
"She said she was waiting for a phone call from her publisher," I said.
"Yes. She now does her own children's books and she does the art for other books. Plus she has sold some of her paintings at places around town. As I said, she's a very good artist. She sees things other people don't."
"She's never married," I said.
Mrs. Childs shook her head. "No. Honestly, she doesn't seem that interested in men." Mrs. Childs saw the expression on my face and she shook her head again. "I don't mean that way. She dates men occasionally but I think she's given up on romance. There is sadness in her. I think it has something to do with what happened in New York."
I finished my coffee. There were a lot of things going through my mind. I said good bye to Mrs Childs and I went outside and spoke to the two guys on the roof. I observed them for a while with no particular reason. I was just reluctant to leave. I finally knew I was beginning to look stupid standing there and I started for my truck. Halfway there, I changed my mind. I walked to the house next door and knocked.
She looked surprised and a bit apprehensive when she saw me. "Is it Lorna?" she asked. "Is she all right?"
"She's fine," I said. "She's good."
Robin looked puzzled.
"I know you're going to think I'm a jackass," I said. "I just figured I'd never know until I asked. I was wondering if you might have dinner with me."
"You're asking me out?" she questioned and I noticed her eyes going to my ring finger. I expect she'd been hit on by more than a few married men.
