Stormwatch A Rest For The Heart

I'm sorry this took so long to come out, it has been a very painful story to write, but it's also an important one. This story is a tribute to veterans, both those that are among us and those that didn't come back. To those that have a veteran in their lives I say, "Thank you for loving my brother." To my brother and sister veterans, I implore you, keep an eye on each other, do an occasional buddy check on each other, and support those agencies that support us. Most importantly, if the memories build up and threaten to overpower you, find someone who cares and say, "Can we talk?"

If you're a veterans and you can't find someone who can make the time for you, I am always here for you if you need someone to listen. There's a "Send Private Feedback" link at the end of all my stories and a contact tab on my profile, bend my ear all you want. I know what it's like to be trapped by painful memories...

Josh held back those memories for a long time... almost too long...

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Veronica von Köster overslept for the first time in ages, she was up with Josh last night at midnight, and she had to wake him up again at about two AM. He occasionally had dreams that must scare the hell out of him because he scared the shit out of her with his night terror. Last night was the worst night in a long time. When she woke Josh up at two AM, he was in terror of something, and Veronica was able to get him to relax. At seven AM Josh's work phone rang, waking Veronica, and she was usually up before six. Only a few people ever called Josh's work phone and it wasn't like his boss Mark to call while Josh was on vacation. The caller had a Tampa area code, so Veronica answered Josh's phone, and it was a familiar woman's voice on the other end. "Hi Veronica, is Josh up? He asked me to call at seven AM, but he didn't answer so I called this number."

Josh wasn't in bed and his personal phone was on the nightstand with the ringer shut off. Veronica saw that there were five missed calls, all from the same number with a Tampa area code. Veronica had to get up and search around for him, "Hang on Ellie, he had a rough night last night, I think he got up at four."

"How bad was it?" Ellie asked.

"He was yelling at you about something, I could only make out "Ellie stop." Apparently, you were doing something he didn't like, was he your boss?"

"No, he was the head weapons guy, I was the load master, I just made sure they cleaned up after themselves."

Veronica went from room to room looking for Josh while wearing only a gauzy dressing gown, Josh will be upset when he finds out he missed the show she was putting on with the see through gown. "He was pretty upset about something in his dream... damn, where did he go?" He wasn't anywhere to be found, and she didn't think he'd be outside, the weather was cold and wet, right now a wet sloppy snow was falling, but it was supposed to get up to 45⁰ today.

"That one's the worst," said Ellie. "He needs to talk to you about it."

"Can't you tell me?" Veronica asked. She put the phone on speaker hoping Josh would hear them talking and make an appearance.

"I'm still having trouble with it. When he tells you, you'll understand, believe me." Ellie didn't sound very comfortable. She and Veronica had spoken in the past and she discovered that whenever Ellie or Josh has a bad dream, they call each other. She gives them privacy when they talk on the phone but the snippets of their conversations that she's heard told her that Ellie flew with Josh in the USAF.

Before heading down to the basement, Veronica looked toward the front window and saw a shadow on the front porch. A closer look revealed that sure enough, it was Josh. He was bundled up against the cold in his camouflage field jacket and puffing on a cigar, watching the Friday morning parade head off to work. "I found him, Ellie," she said as she pulled on a large, warm sweater and stepped out onto the porch, "he's outside smoking a cigar

without me

."

"That's just wrong," exclaimed Ellie.

"We are supposed to be leaving for vacation today and it looks like he started the party without me," complained Veronica as she noticed the half-drank Bloody Mary on the table next to Josh.

"Bounce!" Ellie called out using Josh's last callsign, "Didn't I teach you to treat women better than this?"

"Hey! I am a philogynist," said Josh as Veronica eased her shapely butt into his lap.

"You were last night at least," said Veronica as she handed Josh the phone and took his cigar and drink.

"Tell me about it!" said Ellie, suddenly interested.

Veronica took a puff of Josh's cigar and said, "I could tell her about the time with the strap on dick and the huge rubber dildo."

"That was you with the strap on dick and the huge rubber dildo, I was tied up in a highchair with your panties in my mouth." said Josh referring to the time Veronica's queen beat her in pool for shooting like "a rook."

"You both are going to go to hell for lying to me," laughed Ellie who was convinced they were saying these things to convince her that something strange and sexy happened. "How are you doing darling?"

Josh was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but he told her. "A bit of a rough night, I had that dream again," he turned off the speaker function and held the phone to his ear. Veronica got up and handed him his cigar and walked into the house with his Bloody Mary. He gave her a look that clearly said disapproved and mouthed the words, 'where are you going with my drink?'

"I'll bring you some coffee," she said as she sipped his Bloody Mary. Too much tabasco, too much vodka, in Veronica's world it was perfect. She left Josh to commiserate with a fellow disabled flier and put on some coffee, then she hauled the suitcases down from upstairs and decided what to wear. After laying out her flight wardrobe she went downstairs, poured a cup of coffee for Josh in a thermal mug, and carried it out to the porch. He was still chatting with Ellie and was looking pale, there were beads of sweat on his forehead even in this cold, damp weather. She handed him the coffee and his hand trembled as he took it, he clearly wasn't finished talking with Ellie. She can calm him down, but he's not close to calm yet.

Veronica said, "I'm going to put on my face and finish packing, that's an hour, will you be ready?"

Josh gave her a thumbs up with a shaking hand, then Veronica popped open one side of her cardigan sweater flashing a tit to Josh. The cold air hit her exposed breast and her nipple hardened rock hard in a second. Josh winked at her and blew her a kiss as she went inside.

"Oh, that poor girl," groaned Josh.

"What's wrong?" chided Ellie.

"She thinks I got my shit together," moaned Josh.

Inside the house Veronica leaned against the wall and sighed, her shoulders slumped as she said, "That poor guy." She went upstairs to the bathroom and found her phone and sent a text to Ellie, then she hopped into the shower.

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

An hour later they met Ayato and Julissa Tanaka at The 279 Diner for breakfast. The 279 Diner is east of town where US route 240 intersects with US route 39, some simple math and the name of a diner is born. "Where are you two love birds headed?" asked Julissa. Julissa Tanaka is the embodiment of the term "tough old broad," rumor has it that she was a security cop and met Ayato as he came out of his secured office. She mistook him for a burglar and spent the next three hours frisking him until he proposed. That story is their favorite and they decided that it was entertaining enough to be the truth, so until someone comes up with a better story it will remain the truth. Now they are the owners of Worzils, a little neighborhood bar in the Village of Springville just a few blocks away from Veronica's house.

"We're headed to South Georgia," said Veronica as she practically hopped out of her chair in excitement.

"Ooh, sex-eeee!" grinned Ayato glancing sideways at Josh. "What do you do for a follow-up, a game of 9 Ball at the VFW?"

"The 'merican Legion," muttered Josh into his coffee, "the beer is cheaper there."

"Wherever you go, it's going to be warmer than here," said Julissa. The world outside was engulfed in a murky gray cloud with a frigid drizzle threatening to turn to freezing rain.

"I can't wait," said Veronica, "I haven't been south of Manhattan for two years."

"Gonna see all the sights," said Josh, "Woodies Barbeque in Yulee, the Pig Barbeque in Callihan, Jalen's Barbeque in Folkston, Steffans Diner in Kingsland..."

"I was hoping to see more than a menu," said Veronica as their breakfast orders arrived.

"Are you going to Cumberland Island?" asked Julissa and Josh nodded while he sliced up his eggs.

"What's Cumberland Island?" Veronica asked.

"That's a cool island near... Saint Mary, I think," said Julissa glaring at Josh. "Wild horses are living there, they wander all over the island, there are great beaches, hiking, camping..."

"I used to work there as a kid shoveling horse shit in the campgrounds," said Josh as he spread jelly on his toast.

"Sounds like a great place to visit," said Veronica, who ignored what Josh just said.

"Not with a shovel it ain't."

Julissa reached around and gave Josh a "dope slap" to the back of his head. "Hush you! Stop raining on her parade."

The food at the 279 Diner wasn't fancy, it was simple. They served common dishes which were done well with generous portions at modest prices. It was one of those diners that didn't try to look like a diner from yesteryear, it didn't have to. Nothing changes at the 279, not the decor, not the menu offerings, not the management, not even the selections on the jukebox that still plays 45s, just the prices on the menu and the age of the patrons. They even have a little jukebox at each booth and strategically placed along the lunch counter. Why this place exists is anyone's guess, it's located at the intersection of these two-lane highways outside of the village of Springville surrounded by farms, but it's always been there, and people had always come.

The manager, Janet, stopped by with a pot of coffee and refilling cups. "Hey, Josh, who's the pretty lady?"

"Janet, this is the love of my life, my soulmate, my fiancée, and my landlord, Veronica von Köster. Darling, this is Janet, she runs the place and will kick you out at the sign of any trouble."

As Janet and Veronica shook hands Ayato asked, "Janet, how is it you know people who don't even live here, but you don't know people who've been residents for over four years?"

"I know about Ronnie, she bought the old Dennings place over by the park, just a few houses up Howard Ave from Doc Jarecki. I just wanted an introduction from this lunk." Janet smiled at Veronica, "Don't you worry none honey, your fiancé is the only one I've had to throw out of her for a dozen years."

"Oh?" said Veronica in faux surprise, "what did Mister Gravely do to warrant that honor?" She leaned away from Josh with a practiced look of good-natured shock.

"He and Doc Jarecki came in here a few years ago after a hunt, both had half a snootful and he's carrying five ducks!"

"I gave her one of them," mumbled Josh into his coffee cup.

"That's not the point!" as she pretended to pour coffee on his head. "I guess I should be glad it wasn't turkey season."

"I wouldn't a give you one of them," said Josh as he turned and gave Janet a one-armed hug.

"Where are you two headed off to?" she asked as she put the check down on the table. "The Jarecki's and those little girls were in here this morning, and they mentioned you were flying out today."

Veronica snapped up the check before Ayato could reach it, "We are going south to visit Josh's hometown. I want to see where this "lunk" grew up."

"Oh, you're headed off to Hooterville! Let me know if they have started to install indoor plumbing. You guys have a safe flight," and Janet went on her rounds topping off coffee at the other tables.

Ayato lifted his coffee cup in Josh's direction, "You're not getting any breaks today, are ya?"

"Welcome to my world."

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

Josh and Veronica arrived at the airport long before the scheduled take-off and Josh wasn't comfortable with that arrangement, "I hate sitting forever in an airport," he complained. He's been grouchy and complaining all morning long and he's starting to worry Veronica. Josh is usually a calm and happy man, at work he was competent and appeared to be grouchy, but underneath he was a teddy bear. But ever since they decided to take this trip he's been on edge and those dreams that cause him to shout and panic in his sleep are back.

"Believe me, honey, this flight will be different than any flight you've ever taken," assured Veronica as they stepped off the bus from the parking lot. Everything was different compared to Josh's earlier flights, first, a skycap took a quick look at their tickets and then whisked their baggage away. Inside the terminal, the check-in counters were undermanned and overwhelmed. Josh was ready to do battle with the queue, but Veronica just sweetly said, "this way dear," and lead him straight to the end station of the counter where a woman stood waiting for them. She was wearing a gold blazer as if she had just won the PGA tour.

"Miss von Köster! So good to see you again, where are we heading today?"

"Melony! It's been ages. Just a chance to unwind on the beach," gushed Veronica, "it's the first chance we've had to get away in forever. We're headed to Florida."

"Marco Island? Islamorada? St. George Island?" asked Melony with an envious smile.

"Fort Clinch," said Josh from behind Veronica.

"I love Ft. Clinch!" sighed Melony, "It's the best beach on Amelia Island, and it's not covered with locals. It's probably the five-dollar admission fee that keeps them away." She finished her check-in procedure and handed Veronica and Josh their boarding passes. "How did you find out about Fort Clinch?"

As they turned to leave Josh saluted her with a rolled-up magazine and letting his South Georgia accent have free reign declared, "Ah'm wunna them local fellers. Y'all have a good day, 'hear?"

Veronica whispered, "Honey, be nice. Besides. I thought y'all was plural, you use it for more than one person."

"It is plural," insisted Josh, "like when you're talking out both sides of your mouth." If Veronica was drinking something it would have been an incredible spit take. They continued through the airport and went up to the express line through the TSA. They were green checked, so they just sailed right through after an ID check. "No proctology exam today?" Josh asked.

"Sorry," shrugged the TSA agent.

"That was right neighborly of him," said Josh happily as they made it through TSA with their shoes and belts on and were in the terminal headed toward a gate in record time.

Veronica hushed her suddenly goofy fiancé, "Sssshhhh! Keep it a secret or everybody is going to want to fly first class."

"First class?" Josh went pale, his vision narrowed, and his chest started to hurt. "I can't afford first-class... we shouldn't be throwing money away, not with a wedding coming up." Quickly he started to add up the mortgage on the cabin and all that land, the payments on the house, his payments on the Jeep, her payments on the Navigator, he could sell the jeep and ride with Veronica... they could live in the cabin... he could clear some land and plant crops... He broke out in a cold sweat and started muttering "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit," over and over.

"Baby, baby, baby, stay with me, just a little bit further..." She should have seen this coming, he was in the depths of despondency this morning, then suddenly he was happy as a lark when they sailed through check-in and TSA, then he crashed again. He was riding an emotional rollercoaster that terrified her and was probably tearing Josh apart.

Now he was muttering, "I ain't goin' back, I ain't goin' back..." his head felt like it was full of hornets, his stomach felt like he swallowed a brick, the nightmares of the shattered gunship were pushed back as the nightmares of the filthy shack he grew up in, long repressed, came to the forefront.

"Yes, we're going back," said Veronica, "we're going back

to visit

, to say

goodbye

to those memories. Do you hear me?" She knew of his distaste for his upbringing, and he was torn between the idea of raising a child and drowning it in love or avoiding children completely because he was terrified of not being able to overcome his upbringing and becoming his father. Josh was happy that she didn't know any of the details of his childhood other than the fact that they didn't have money.

"I'm sorry, I can't think right now," gasped Josh, "I don't know what is going on... I'm so sorry." Forcing himself to focus he realized that he was clinging to her arm, and they were on an escalator. "Where the hell are we?" The last clear thought he had was stepping on a moving sidewalk, he's never seen an escalator in this section of the terminal.

"We're going to sit down and relax," said Veronica. "There's a lounge up here." Once they stepped off the escalator, she led Josh into a nicely appointed lounge where a neatly dressed young woman served drinks to a few fellow travelers who were seated in comfortable-looking chairs. "You sit here, I'll be right back."

Joshed eased himself into a comfortable chair and looked around. The fellow travelers looked like business executives, they were wearing highly expensive suits and their carry-on luggage probably rivaled his Jeep in cost. Here he sat in a red "Remember Everyone Deployed" t-shirt, cargo pants, a faded field jacket with master sergeant stripes and a hat that showed an AC-130 Gunship. The other travelers gave him a snide look as if to wonder who left the door unguarded and let the riff raff in, then they went back to ignoring him. Veronica soon returned and handed Josh a drink and sat next to him and held her drink up. "To us?" she said expectantly.

"To us," he smiled, overjoyed that his bout of crazy didn't drive her away, and tapped his glass against hers. He glanced at his drink, a clear carbonated beverage containing an ice sphere (totally cool!) and lime (even better) and sipped. It tasted like a liquid pine tree dipped in 180-proof fruit juice. "This is awesome," he whispered with reverence, "what is it?"

Veronica chuckled, "it's a gin and tonic. Haven't you ever had a gin and tonic?"

"I don't drink hard alcohol very often," said Josh, which was true. He rarely strayed from a margarita with Mexican food and the occasional Bloody Mary. "For this, I'll make an exception. This is delicious! It's my new favorite drink."

Veronica could only chuckle, the only hard liquor Josh drank was vodka and it wasn't all that often that he would drink it, he was a lite beer kind of guy. "Really? It's that good?"

"This is Christmas in a glass." He held up the frosted glass and considered it, "There's got to be some way to get lights and ornaments in there."

Veronica cleared her throat, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the upgrade, I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's a surprise all right," sighed Josh looking into his drink wondering how much it cost. "It's just..." his smile disappeared and he felt himself sliding back into that abyss again, "it's an expense we could have avoided."

"That's what I'm trying to say, it's not an expense. I've got airline points like you couldn't believe." Veronica took his hand gently and kissed it. "When I saw the tickets, I got the upgrade and put it on my points, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but that's why I insisted on this airline."

"So, the upgrade didn't cost us anything?"

"I'm saying the entire flight isn't costing us anything, and the hotel, I called your cousin and upgraded that too."