Candace tried not to let the situation consume her, but that was easier said than done. There were too many things to think about. And when she did let her mind wander, it felt like her head would explode at the sheer amount of thoughts racing around it.
Sam texted her the next day and asked how she was feeling. She took it as a good sign. The thought of never seeing him again had occurred to her more than once. That thought alone was enough to nearly send her into hysterics.
Her mom had tried making plans with her, but she told her she was busy with work. Candace was nowhere near ready to have that conversation with her mother. Rather than completely lying to her, she decided to throw herself back into her work. She needed to make up appointments she had missed the weekend they spent in Gatlinburg and the weekend prior anyway. She also reasoned it would help take her mind off things.
Wednesday, she scheduled an appointment with her ob-gyn. They wouldn't see her until she was at least 8 weeks pregnant. Standard protocol, they said. That was still a good 3 weeks away, from Candace's calculations. She had finally looked at the calendar to see when her last period had started.
She got lucky later that day, though. Candace took her chances at the Minute Clinic. She explained her situation and was given anti-nausea medication. She was already feeling better by the time Sam texted her that evening, though that made her stomach do flips in other ways.
"Hey. Feeling any better?"
"Actually, I am. The gracious lady at the Minute Clinic today took pity on me and prescribed some anti-nausea medicine."
"That's good news. I've been worried about you."
Candace wasn't sure how to reply.
"You have?"
It took him a few minutes to answer back.
"Can we talk?"
Her fingers sent "sure", but her heart and brain didn't feel onboard 100%. Her phone started vibrating within a matter of seconds.
"Hi." Even she noticed her voice grow softer. She still didn't know whether Sam had figured out that
he
was her weakness.
"Hey, babe," he also spoke quietly. "Glad to hear the medicine they gave you is helping. I
have
been worried about you. I hate not being able to check on you in person."
There was an awkward silence.
"I want to apologize for not calling sooner. I'd like to say I was busy with work, but the truth is, I was being a chicken shit."
"It's ok. I've been trying to wrap my head around the whole thing too," Candace laughed nervously.
"Well, I don't feel ok about it," he paused.
"Are we ok?" she ventured.
"Yeh, of course. Does that mean you're not mad at me?"
A smile found its way to her lips. She thought it was cute when his accent came out thicker than normal.
"Why would I be mad at you? Because you didn't call right away? I love you more than that. It's a lot to take in." There was another pause in their conversation.
"I am mad at myself, though. But there's no going back now. You know that, right?" Candace let him infer the meaning of her words. She couldn't bring herself to say the word.
"Yes, of course. It never even crossed my mind. I would NEVER ask you to do that."
Candace's eyes started to water. She was growing tired of getting so emotional lately. She knew the hormones were partly to blame, but still.
"And please stop blaming yourself. Shit happens, Candace. This doesn't change anything between us, does it?" he asked hopefully.
"No. I hope not. I'm pretty sure this isn't what you had in mind when you said 'whatever's meant to be will happen', though," she laughed caustically. Oh, the irony of his words now.
"Candace..." he paused, sighing. "I think everything happens for a reason. Don't you?"
"I suppose...How did you get so laid back?" she smiled to herself.
"I'm an Aussie. It's in our blood," he laid on his thick accent again. They both laughed.
"So, did you call a doctor yet?"
"Ugh. Yes. They won't see me until the end of July. Something about having to be at least 8 weeks along. I guess there's less chance of a miscarriage by then. You know, as if I didn't have enough to worry about already."
"That's messed up."
"Yah, I thought so too."
"So what date? I want to come with you."
This caught Candace off-guard.
"You do?"
"Well, you didn't very well knock yourself up, now did you?" he chuckled.
"No, but I hadn't planned on asking you to come. It probably won't be a big deal anyway," she tried to play it off.
"I know you weren't. That's why I brought it up. I want to be there for you, Candace."
She appreciated his sentiment, of course, but she also remembered something he had told her several weeks ago.
"What about your visit with your parents?"
"Just give me the damn date," Sam laughed, but she knew he was getting flustered with her.
"July 27th," she sighed.
"There. Was that so hard?" he teased.
There was another pause before Candace spoke again.
"I'm really glad you called."
"Sorry again I didn't call sooner. I wish I could visit sooner."
"I know. Me too. Maybe I'll come visit you when work calms down in a couple of months."
"Yeh?" Sam's voice tilted up.
"Yah," Candace smiled to herself. "I usually get a little break at the end of August between senior pictures and fall photos."
"I would like that."