Star

Star Pt 5: Comeback Star

Part 5 of 5

Interviewer: I'm once more at the home of Dave and Karen Gerrard to discuss Karen's comeback film, a spy spoof called 'Jane: Blonde?'. To start with, I must say it's been a while since all three of us were together.

Dave Gerrard: Well, you and I have met four times in the past two years.

Interviewer: Yes, for each of the films you have directed since 'Emily'. Each one better than the one before, I thought.

DG: Thanks. It's been a steep learning curve for me. And I felt wrong being on set without Karen for the first two.

Karen Gerrard: (Laughing) I was going to say that it was unavoidable, but I suppose it wasn't.

Interviewer: Where is young Clint?

KG: His nanny, Maria, is reading to LC upstairs.

Interviewer: LC?

DG: 'Little Clint'.

Interviewer: I take it he is named after your late friend and mentor?

DG: (Nodding.) My fault. When I first saw him he was bawling and waving his arms about. I said he looked like Clint with a bad actor, meaning myself.

KG: I just burst out laughing, but I knew that he'd always be Clint from that moment.

Interviewer: (Laughs). So, tell me about how you came to decide on a comedy as your comeback film after nearly three years away to have Little Clint.

KG: I just wanted to do something different. There had always been elements of humour in the films I'd made, especially the 'Dirty Work' series, mostly down to Dave getting jokes put in.

Interviewer: I remember you telling me.

DG: I think I've said before, bin men can't be serious for too long. (Smiles)

KG: How long before you give up on the 'I'm still a bin man' thing? (Laughs)

DG: It's just a mindset that helps me, you know that. It keeps me grounded.

KG: Anyway, I thought that maybe it was time to give comedy a chance. Drama is all I'd done previously.

***

Karen and I were eating breakfast. Little Clint was nearly eighteen months old now. Karen had wanted to wait until he was walking and talking before hiring a nanny. She had finally found one she liked who got on well with all of us. Maria fitted into the family smoothly, slowly taking over running the household from Karen. I could tell Karen was building up to asking me something by the way she fiddled with her glass of juice.

"Come on, get it out Karen. You're wearing a hole in the table. What is it?"

She jumped.

"Well." She looked down at the table and then back up at me. "I was thinking that maybe it was time I started to look at some scripts. Clint and Maria get on fine and, and..." She tailed off as I stood up and began to walk towards my office, beckoning her to follow me.

"Six months." I said over my shoulder as I reached into the only purposely locked drawer on my desk.

"What?"

"Six months after we hired Maria before you got restless. I thought it'd be less." I dropped a script onto the desk in front of the bemused Karen. "I've been holding onto this for nine months. See what you think."

"What is it?"

"A script. Remember them?"

"Idiot! What is it about?"

"A female spy. 'Jane Blonde'."

"That sounds silly."

"It's supposed too. It's a spoof. I know we talked about doing a comedy before Clint was born and this is what Douglas and I came up with. See what you think. If you don't like it I'll get in touch with our agent and see what she can come up with." Karen took the script and began to read.

***

Interviewer: So I take it you liked it?

KG: I did, but I have to say that I didn't really read it properly. I thought that if Dave was satisfied that it was good enough for me, then it was.

DG: Unfortunately when we went to get backing for it, not many people were convinced that it would work.

Interviewer: Really? Did they say why?

KG: Most of our usual backers either didn't think it was a role I could play or that I had been out of the public eye too long and they wouldn't see any return on their investment.

Interviewer: So how did you get the backing?

DG: We talked a couple of them round, found one or two new investors and then did what we had done before; put up the rest of the money ourselves. I had confidence in the script and in Karen.

KG: I wasn't as confident. Having Clint and then looking after him had been the longest break between films that I'd taken. I wasn't sure I still had the spark.

DG: (Cuddles her.) I couldn't believe that for a moment. It was the opposite of everything that we had done together previously. For a change it was me having to reassure her about her ability.

Interviewer: So, you got together the backing, and then what? Any training this time?

KG: (Laughs) Well, I had to get super fit quite quickly, and learn all sorts of martial arts to play Jane convincingly.

Interviewer: You seem to have pulled that off if I may say.

KG: (Blushing.) Thank you.

DG: When it came to the filming, things didn't go quite to plan though. My plan anyway. I suppose I'd got used to doing things my own way.

Interviewer: I did hear rumours about dissent on the set.

***

We were two weeks into the filming when it happened. Looking back at it, I suppose I could have handled it differently, but I wasn't used to actors directly questioning my methods, and the fact that it was Karen only made it worse. I should have spotted that she was unhappy with something, but unfortunately I attributed her unease to her nervousness about making a film again. Then again, she should have just come to me and asked why I was doing things the way I was and I would have explained everything to her. As it was, half way through a days work, she just stopped and turned to look at me.

"Why am I the only one in this film who doesn't get a laugh?" She asked loudly, her hands on her hips, a pout on her lips.

"It explains everything in the script. You told me you'd read it, that it was fine. So what's the problem now?" I answered, in a much more high-handed way than I'd intended.

"Everyone else plays their roles for a laugh, I have to play my role straight. You said I was doing comedy!"

"You are doing comedy."

"Well it doesn't feel like it. It feels like less fun than doing a drama, and I want to be funny. I'm going to see Clint." Her last statement confused a few people on the set for a moment, until they remembered Clint was our son. I let her storm off. If I'd gone running after her like she expected my credibility as director would have been shot to pieces. Instead I calmly called a break in filming and told everyone to go home and come back tomorrow. I waited until everyone had left before I called Maria up on the intercom and asked her to ask Karen to come back onto the set.

"Are you sure sir? She seems pretty upset."

"I know Maria, it's my fault. Please tell her I asked nicely."

Most of the lights were turned off now. I sat on the darkened set for nearly twenty minutes waiting for Karen. Eventually she tiptoed back onto the set and sat beside me. I could tell she had been crying, her eyes looking reddened even in the gloom of the studio.

"Why the drama queen scene sweetheart?" I asked her quietly. "I'll always listen to your concerns or ideas if you come to me, but I can't have you shouting at me on set, and I can't go running after you. If I do it'll ruin my credibility with everyone else, you understand that?" She nodded, tears still in her eyes. "Then tell me what the matter is now. I've sent them all away until tomorrow; we're the only ones here, plus Clint and Maria of course."

"I'm sorry Dave." She sobbed. "I should have read the script properly, but I thought I was going to be clowning around like everyone else, but I'm the only one who doesn't crack a joke, fall over something, break something or pull a funny face. It doesn't feel like a comedy to me."

"Seeing as it's you, and I can't do this film without you, I'll try to explain my and Douglas's reasoning." I took her hand and kissed it. "Jane, your character, is the only competent member of staff at a spy agency, and she's only a secretary. However, she actually owns the agency and helps her staff by covering their backs, surreptitiously going with them on missions, rescuing them if she has to."

"I understand that." Karen looked at me with still teary eyes. "But why do I have to be serious all the time?"

"Because that emphasises the chaos around Jane. Everyone else is being silly, accident prone, and you aren't, it shows up the humourous and the serious sides of the agency." I saw a light dawn in her eyes.

"So, it's not because you don't think I can be funny?" She looked really worried now.

"Why would I think that? I KNOW you can be funny, but we have to make everyone else realise it too, and I think this is a nice subtle way to do that. The next film we do, you can be a complete clown if you want, but for this one I need you to be 'Emily' or the scholarship girl." I brushed her hair from her face.

"Okay, now I understand. I'm really, really sorry about the strop: I don't know why I didn't just come and ask you." She bowed her head in shame.

"I think LC has been rubbing off on you." I laughed. "What he wants, he gets. From both of us. Just remember, on set, I'm in charge; off set you are, or LC." She grinned at me. I took her hand and we went to find Little Clint and Maria.

***

Interviewer; It seems to have been a really serious misunderstanding between you?

DG: Our first argument in a long time. (Cuddles Karen.) I should have seen she wasn't happy about something and asked, but in all our work together Karen had been such a professional I'd assumed she 'got it' from reading the script.

KG: It wasn't just that. I was really nervous about being in front of the camera's again and stupidly I hadn't read the script properly. I knew in my heart that I should have just told Dave quietly about my worries but I didn't. I did something I never would have done with Clint directing. So when I thought about what I'd done later I was totally embarrassed. I'd shown Dave and myself up. It made the next morning very tense.

Interviewer: So what happened?

KG: I just stood on the set and apologised to everyone.

DG: (Hugs Karen.) It was very brave, but exactly the right thing to do. I suppose it helped that she, we, had known most of the crew for a long time. Some of the other cast members were a bit surprised I suppose, but if anything it served to bring us closer together. We were all on the same page from then on.

Interviewer: But from what I gather, that wasn't the last of your problems?

KG: No, something from our past came back to haunt us. Well, me particularly.

***

The filming had almost finished, just one or two scenes to complete before we went to the editing, when I saw Karen looking moody, or upset. Not wanting to repeat the earlier incident I took her to one side and asked what the problem was. At first she said nothing was wrong, that she was fine, but I persisted and she broke down and told me.

"It's my former manager, you remember him?"

"I'm not likely to forget the man who almost broke our marriage, who did force us apart." I said.

"Well, he...He sent me a message this morning."

"And?"

"Dave, there's something I didn't tell you back then." She looked down at the ground for a while. I waited patiently until she spoke again, looking back up with tears in her eyes. "I told you a huge lie back then, about that first picture that was taken of me with that guy. I said it was all my manager's idea, but that first one wasn't, it was mine. I was hurt and I wanted you to feel the pain I had felt." She burst into tears. "I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I didn't expect you to come out to see me, and, and, things just got out of hand after that."

"But only that first picture?" I asked as kindly as the shock would allow me. "Everything after that was him?"

"Yes." She nodded, still crying. "He arranged all the other escorts after I told him I would never divorce you. He thought he could get you to divorce me." She looked at me, fearful of how I was going to react. She reached up and brushed my cheek. "I swear Dave; I never realised what would happen. I was going to call you after a day of you feeling like I had, but you came out and we argued and then..."

"And then I disappeared." I took her in my arms and held her close. "Both our faults I suppose." I kissed away her tears. "Doesn't matter now. It's long forgotten."

"But not by him. He wants money or he said he was going to tell you about my lie."

"You've just told me yourself, so he can go and take a running jump."

"I already told him I'd meet him tonight, and..."

"Forget it. You are not going, I am. And don't try and stop me." I looked into her beautiful but tear-stained face. She gave a watery grin.

"All I was going to say was, don't forget you're not as young as you were."

"Meaning? You cheeky madam."

"Meaning, don't swing a punch again." She grinned.

***

Interviewer: So you went to meet him instead of Karen?

DG: (Nodding.) I did. I told him I knew about his little scheme, and what he thought I didn't know and if he pushed off now, I was prepared to let him.

Interviewer: And that worked?

DG: Not exactly. He intimated that others might be interested in paying for proof that the 'pure' Karen Carragher was a liar.

Interviewer: Others?

DG: I presumed he meant the scandal sheets.

KG: Dave came back and told me what the bastard was planning on doing, but he had an idea to pre-empt him, if I was willing to go through with it.

Interviewer: That extraordinary press conference? (They both nod.)

***

I sat with Karen in front of the gathering pressmen, holding her hand. She looked worried.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked quietly.

"It's the only way." She replied. She took a couple of deep breaths, steeling herself and then stood up. "Ladies and Gentlemen, good afternoon, thank you for coming at such short notice. You may be wondering why Dave and I called this conference, so here goes. There is a rumour concerning an incident in our past." The assembled hacks looked at each other, some puzzled, and a few others more knowing. "The rumour is that I told Dave a huge lie. I'm ashamed to confirm that this is true, I did. I told him that the first picture taken of me being escorted from a party by someone else had been organised by my then manager, when in truth I had organised it myself. I had been planning to tell him fairly soon afterwards, but events overtook us and I never did until yesterday. Dave was very magnanimous and forgave me instantly. We both realised that we were both acting foolishly at that time, neither of us thinking too rationally. But someone else knew and is trying to trade in this knowledge for money. He approached us first and when we refused to buy his silence, said he was going to sell his story to one of you. This announcement is to forestall that. You have the story and you didn't have to pay for it, I hope that will be enough. I just want to apologise to all of you and again to Dave and hope that none of you think any the less of me for my admission."

A hand shot up near the front and the journalist asked pointedly.

"Are we talking about your former manager as the other person here?"

"We are not willing to confirm or deny that." I spoke for the first time.

"What are your feelings in this Dave?"

"My feelings have not changed towards Karen." I stood up beside her and took her hand. "I loved Karen before she told me, and I love her even more for having told me now." I kissed my wife. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have a film to finish."

***

Interviewer: At the time, still now in fact, many of us wondered why you didn't just issue a press release instead of forcing yourself to stand up and admit to the truth in that way.

KG: I, we, just wanted you all to see that I was sincere in my apologies. Although it was Dave who suggested it, he wasn't sure that I should do it, but as soon as he mentioned it, I knew that would be the best way to confess. It was the scariest thing I'd ever done at the time, but it felt good to finally get it out in the open.

Interviewer: You've done something scarier since?

KG: (Laughs.) I have, and that was all my own fault too.

DG: After the press conference, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to do in the film, other than crack a joke. What she suggested really surprised me.

***

"You what?" I said.

"I think I should have a couple of scenes where I'm not wearing much." Karen was deadly serious. "All the spy films have them. You know, manly chests, scantily clad women, and long suggestive kisses." She kissed me to illustrate what she meant.

"I suppose you're right." I muttered.

"So, shall we do that?"

"There are one or two scenes we haven't filmed yet that we could adapt I suppose."

"That's a lot of supposing." She grinned.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've never really done any scenes like that before."

"I did some bikini scenes for the Scholarship girl."

"Those were on a beach."

"I knew that if anyone remembered them, you would." She grinned again, teasing me. I shrugged. If she wanted to do this, it would almost certainly help the film. I deliberately hadn't written any scenes like that for two reasons. The first and major reason was that I didn't think she'd want too. The second and more selfish reason was that she was my wife, and I wasn't sure I wanted everyone on set ogling her, let alone all the audiences.

"All right." I sighed. "I'll start the rewrite tonight, but I'll have to check with Douglas that he doesn't mind."

"Can I help?"

"Just let me know how far you're prepared to go."

***

Interviewer: So those sexy scenes were a last minute addition?

KG: (Grinning.) Yep! And doing them was the scariest thing I'd done. I was worried that maybe I was a bit old to be doing this now, that maybe I wouldn't be sexy enough any more. (Dave bursts out laughing.) Dave! (Punches his arm.)

DG: Sorry, but how on earth could you think that? You're only thirty or so.

KG: And a mother don't forget. It was very nerve wracking.

DG: And your idea, don't forget that. All I did was write the scenes slightly differently and then direct them.

KG: You also made sure that there was almost no-one on set when we filmed them. Don't think I didn't notice. But it helped; I'd never been filmed in sexy underwear before that.

DG: (Laughing again.)Fibber!

KG: (Going red.) For other people, I meant.

Interviewer: Would it help if I said you looked gorgeous?

DG: (Mutters.) It doesn't help me much.

Interviewer: Sorry, I forgot. I'm blushing too now. (We all laugh.) Anyway, the film seems to achieve all its objectives. You proved Karen can be funny as well as still being quite beautiful, and that Dave is a very capable director.

KG: Thank you for the compliment.

DG: Yes, although I still think I have some things to learn as a director.

Interviewer: I think Clint, Big Clint, would be proud of you. Thank you for your time.

***

I sat back down next to Karen after he had gone.

"I like doing interviews with him; he seems to understand what we mean."

"He's a sweetie too. Did you see him blush when he remembered you were my husband?"

"I did. Now what shall we do? Got any more surprises for me?" I joked.

"Actually, I do." I looked at her in astonishment, her eyes shining with suppressed devilment. "While you were doing the editing for 'Jane', I was pitching an idea to Douglas. Well, getting him to write something for me." She pulled a script from beneath the sofa we were sat on. "It's the comedy you said we could do next, with me being the funny one this time." I took it from her and scanned through a few pages. There seemed to be a lot of scenes where Karen kept losing items of clothing in various amusing ways.

"You seem to be undressed rather a lot." I said mildly.