Part 1. Barbara's Story -- Edited
This story is a continuation to a story by Castlestone. Sophia's story begs a continuation and conclusion and my efforts to contact castlestone have met with no success. I note from one of the comments on the last story by castlestone, that he may have been killed in an accident. I hope that isn't correct, because it means a very inventive, witty mind is with us no longer. Before reading this story I recommend that the reader read Sophia Parts 1 to 4 by castlestone. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense. I hope this provides a sense of continuation and regret that I don't have the sense of humor or the gamma ray desk light that castlestone had.
Barbara
Hi, I am Barbara, Barbara, "the fool of a whore!" to be precise though I didn't fully realize it until now. I just got back from a session with my counselors, a husband and wife team that take no prisoners. If they could have done they would have confronted me with Don, but I told them to leave him alone, don't even ask him. I have done enough damage to him, and things just seem to be getting back to an even keel at least where the girls are concerned. They had already told me that the chances of getting back together with Don were slim to none existing; I had really burnt my bridges behind me as far as he was concerned.
Instead they had me write out a journal describing every affair that I had, then had me justify to them what I had done. They used my journal to refute every point that I made. It would likely have been easier for me if Don had been there, because I am sure that he would have gone easier on me than they did. Anyway, after much crying and denial I finally began to realize just how much damage I had inflicted on myself and my family because of my ego and my willful disregard for my wedding vows.
Funnily enough, as a single I have been pretty lonely. Oh yes, there is the bar scene with the ones who would be delighted to get into my pants for a nights sex or the guys looking for the money I ended up with but that isn't for me. The days of fucking all our supposedly good friends came to a sudden end as soon as Don divorced me.
The fact that he alleged and could prove adultery even though the judge found that he had to know about it (Perjury worked). All that meant that my so called female friends wouldn't have anything to do with me in case I made off with their husbands (Those that had not been divorced already due to the fallout). What was that about the life of the gay divorcee? Oh it was great for a couple of months, until I woke up one morning and realized that I could count my really good friends on the fingers of one hand and still have a couple of fingers left over.
I am sure that a lot of the men in our social circle were only interested in screwing me because in doing so they were screwing Don, putting horns on Mr. Perfect who trusted me implicitly and didn't have a clue what was going on. Once the divorce was final and I was available all the time the invitations stopped and the men who had been so enthusiastic disappeared. Men with money don't marry whores and if that was what they thought of me, I couldn't blame them, after 24 affairs the name fitted really well, and that is just the way I was thinking.
After the divorce I did a lot of travelling and I'm sure that many thought I was just going through Don's money and finding male companions along the route. The reality is that while I could find lots of that kind of company in the resorts. It wasn't company that counted.
Really what I was doing was running away and it wasn't long before I realized that the person I was running away from was I. Until I could deal with myself and what I had become, there was no place to hide. The only trips that mattered became the ones I took with Megan and Robin and even then there seemed to be a wall between us that I just couldn't get through or over.
Anyway, here I am trying to get my head straight, wishing that I had never met Don's sisters, let alone confided in them and listened to them. I can't blame them for everything, let's face it I was a willing slut, they didn't have to twist my arm a whole lot, but I'm sure that without their prodding assistance, I would never have had the first affair let alone have gone as far as I did.
Now while I still have hope, I know deep in my heart that Don would never trust me again. I am lucky that he has never tried to block my access to the girls because I don't think he would have a hard time doing so. I hope that one day I will be able to do something to make up in some way for what I did.
The girls are with me for the next couple of days, so I think I am going to try a few questions, whether they will answer, who knows, young as they are, they were pretty pissed with me for treating their dad the way I did. I'm sure as well that they knew that all was not well. They certainly made it pretty clear that they preferred to be with him. Well they will be in from school shortly, and I really need to ask them a lot.
"Megan" "Robin", " I've been going to counseling, it has been pretty rough, and I am really beginning to realize that I haven't been a very nice person, in fact while I would hate it that you would think of me as such the word most people would use is slut. Somehow I can't say that they are wrong. To really get hold of what is happening, I'm going to need your help, that is if you will help me." The looks between the two looked comical as if they figured it wasn't as serious as they thought, oh well, it has to happen, let's get it over with.
"First off ladies, why the sudden change? For over two years, getting you to stay with me was a major chore. Even to go on trips like Europe. You both made it pretty clear who you preferred. If your Dad hadn't made you come to me, I doubt that you would have. Even when you did come, getting a smile or a kind word from either of you was like trying to pull hens teeth. Now in the last couple of months or so, things have changed. Do you know why? I'm interested to know"
Megan replied "Mom, don't get upset with us. We loved you as our mother, but we hated you for what you did to dad and to us. Before you left you insulted us with your lies to us, telling us what you were doing. We had a pretty good idea what was going on, when you were out most afternoons and rushing to get a shower before Dad came home, then the tales we heard from other kids at school about who you had been seen with. I almost told Dad what I suspected but I couldn't be the person to destroy his dreams and his life, but then I didn't have to. You did it for me."
"You left us alone with our family in pieces and what you and your lawyer and friends did to dad can never be forgiven. One day we hope the truth will come out. Anyway we talked to our friend Maria who we both love and has made a big difference in our lives. She convinced us that it isn't constructive to hate, it takes too much work, and that we should have you in our lives as well. When all is said and done you are still our Mom and we still need you in our lives. Let's face it Dad isn't the best judge when it comes to dressing and talking about girl stuff."