"Excuse me can I slide in here?" I said to no one in particular among the throng of people mingling in one of the less dense areas of the overcrowded bar. I said it so as to try and not piss off that one person who may have managed to get enough drinks to get drunk. Me, I couldn't get my first beer, but I did find that one drunk.
"Hey asshole you trying to get in between me and my girl?"
"Hun?" I turned around and looked in the direction of the voice then up. Then up so more. The guy looked to be seven feet tall and almost as wide across his shoulders. "Ah, no I just want to get a beer and this was the only opening."
"Are you a wimp? If you want the girl just say so and then I punch you and it'll be finished."
"No really, all I want is a beer. But doesn't she, I mean your girlfriend get a say in it?"
"Yeah," an Amazonian tall woman next to him says, "don't I get a say in if I want this wimp to be my boyfriend or not."
I turned and faced the female voice. I assumed she was almost as tall as he was because I didn't raise my eyes to look into hers I was too fascinated by what was right at my level, two very large round and mostly uncovered mounds. "Ah thank you for the help," I said to them, "but I'm pretty sure I am going to get punched regardless and calling me a wimp doesn't really endear you to me."
"Hun? Ah, sure, whatever I agree with what the little guy said, Jack." She continued to talk to her boyfriend Jack. I didn't need to see her hair color to know she was blond. With my life no longer under the threat of immediate death I turned my back to them trying to flag down the bartender. I couldn't get the bartenders attention and my mouth was getting dryer and dryer with all the testosterone and talk of punches floating around. But I didn't get a chance, a brick of a hand was dropped on my shoulder and I was turned around.
"Hey fuck, don't turn your back on me. I'm talking to you."
"OK, I thought she was talking to you last, but OK."
"Is that all you can say is OK?" My back was against the bar and he was looking straight down at me. I was tempted to say no, but I was pretty sure my sarcasm would be lost on him so I just smiled. "Didn't you hear her? She made a deal with us. If you can make her want to go home and fuck you just by talking she is yours."
"Well thank you." And this time I did look her up and down, mainly up because she was very tall and as I said before, big breasted. She had long blond hair braided in two separate pony tails that fell to her amazingly narrow waist. The hair style reminded me of a German Dominatrix I had seen in a porn movie my best friend had sent me a few weeks back. But instead of a hard wicked domineering smile hers was cute and friendly. She had Icelandic dark blue eyes that I could tell were normally brighter and more focused than right now. And, as you can imagine, she had very long and shapely legs. I paused in my physical review to continue the conversation, "But what makes you think I was looking for a girl friend? Maybe I have one already who wouldn't necessarily want me bringing another one home?"
"Hey asshole are you gay or something? Why wouldn't you want to fuck Wanda?"
"Hey watch it," Wanda and I said at the same time. He was making me want to take his girlfriend just so she could see that not all guys are assholes like him. I further noticed, he was beginning to piss her off, so I might not have to do much at all and she would leave with me. The fact that I was even considering that there was a possibility that this beautiful Amazonian Frauline might go with me was mind boggling. I was as surprised at my realization as I was that she was thinking the same thing because the nipples on her massive melons were beginning to crinkle as they became hard with anticipation.
Only a lawyer would declare her legally dressed. Her large and now hard nipples were pushing aside the suspenders, if you want to call them that, of the bizarre black leather outfit she was wearing. The shorts were very short and so tight in the crotch that her pussy lips, large and as impressive as her tits, peaked out. The hem of the shorts crossed her thighs diagonally flaring on the sides accenting her round and shapely hips. She might as well been naked for what it didn't show. Then starting on either side of her Ruby pierced belly button were the two three inch wide leather straps/suspenders running up past her firm abdomen to now no longer covered nipples. Maybe I could wait a bit for that beer. She either used a tanning salon or had some real happy neighbors because with that much skin showing I should have been able to see some tan lines and I couldn't. Her skin was pastel brown the color of the top of the swirls on a Meringue covered pie that when you get your fingers through the sweet whiteness there is something creamy, sweet and sticky deep inside it.
"I'm sorry I called you a wimp," she said looking down at me from between her voluptuous tits, "you look like a nice guy. Something as you can see, I haven't known in a while."
In my head I took back the statement that she was blond. I was impressed. She did know how to speak well and stand up for herself. "Why thank you madam." I thought about taking her hand and kissing it but jerkface Jack might get pissed, so I did the best I could to bow in the few feet of area that was currently allotted me.
The large ham sized hand pushed me back into the bar, "You don't got her yet fucker. Come up with some purrty words and then if she likes 'm she's yours for the night."
She backhanded his shoulder, something I knew I could never get away with. "Jack stop being such as asshole. And it is up to me if I go or not. Not you, and maybe I won't come back."
I stood up as tall as I could and still had to lean back to look him in the eye. "Kind sir, when she leaves here with me tonight you will never get her back."
