Part 2 is short compared to most of my other stories. I wasn't sure how part one would go, this is a rabbit trail I hadn't been down before. Overall I'm pleased, it scored higher than I originally thought it would. Thank you to those who made that happen. As for a military man taking a passive stance instead of an aggressive one. I think back to my family, uncles and grandparents who had been in the WW2 as well as Korea and Vietnam. They had all seen battle, yet when they returned home life went on, just as it has with the main character of this story.
Life was lonely for the most part, if I kept moving it seemed to be less cluttered with thoughts and wonderment about Heather and Alice. I battled with whether I should have stayed, punched William out and gone after Heather and Alice. It seemed a futile effort from where I stood, there was no way I would win a court battle for adoption with consent from the biological father, and that wasn't likely. My mind may have been screwed up, but from where I stood it would be better to just walk away. Not every battle is worth waging just for the sake of war. My grandpa would say, "walk away from a fight that will never be resolved."
That was far from what I'd been taught in the military, but then not everything they teach is applicable to civilian life. I needed to move on. From time to time I'd break down and ask Jill about them, she'd update me on the baby's first words, first steps, on and on. I never asked about Heather, always afraid my heart would be broken again. I couldn't figure out why I loved this girl so damned much, it was an aching from deep within, something I couldn't let go of. I continually chastised myself for not being mister macho man, but soon realized that just wasn't who I am. I had no war to win, no one I needed to impress, it was easier to love Heather from afar than to hate her.
Jill had told me several times that I needed to call Heather and talk, she had some things to tell me. I would say "I'll do that", but never did. Even after months that had turned into a few years the wound was still as open and raw as the day it happened. I was becoming hermit like and Jill sensed it, the few times I had a meal with she, Chris and the baby she went out of her way to try and involve me in their family. I would be as cordial as possible considering they were not only friends, but they were also my employer as well. Once I was back on the road after a week of maintenance on my truck and a few decent night's sleep in a real bed at a small single room flat I rented, I'd be back in my own little world, the cab of my truck.
It was my third Christmas since moving west that Chris and Jill insisted I come to their home Christmas day, they had a little one and thought being around the excitement of a small child at Christmas might cheer me some. The past two Christmas I had taken long runs no one else wanted over the holidays. I didn't think my life was that miserable, apparently they saw something I didn't. Following a lovely home cooked meal I went to my place around nine Christmas Eve and was back at their house by ten the next morning. Their little one had taken an instant liking to me the night before, on my lap, playing, giggling, tummy laughing the way only children can do. Jill commented how good I looked with a little one on my lap and that my life was being wasted in a truck.
After playing with Brennan until she was tired of me I became bored and decided to help Jill set the table. As I was putting out the silverware I heard the front door open and exchanges of Merry Christmas. With my back to the door I figured Jill had set me up with a blind date of some sort, it wouldn't have been the first time. What I wasn't ready for was the cutest little girl in the world standing next to my leg looking up with a smile beaming across her face.
Looking over my shoulder at the front hallway I felt an immediate knot in my stomach, I wanted to turn cartwheels, at the same time I wanted to puke. Standing next to the coat rack was the prettiest skinny woman I'd ever laid eyes on, the one who I couldn't get out of mind no matter what I tried. I suddenly realized it was Alice standing next to me. Heather looked older, more mature, confident, comfortable in her own skin so to speak. I wanted to leave, my feet wouldn't move, it was like they were encased in cement, when I tried to speak my voice was nowhere to be found... all I could do was stare.
She was smiling as she walked to me, wearing a bright red dress with holly kind of earrings, a necklace and bracelet to match. On her feet were low heels of an inch or so, and what caught my eye instantly, stockings, red sheer seamed stockings I might add. Her hair was longer than when I'd last seen her, she was now wearing glasses, other than those few changes, she was everything I remembered and had fallen in love with. A foot away from me she extended her hand to shake mine, it was like being touched with a magic wand, feelings of love and a desire to hold her flooded my thoughts instead of being angry or upset. With my hand in hers and her squeezing, not letting go she asked.
"Do I get a hug, for old time's sake. Or a Christmas hug, or whatever?"
I hugged her and as our heads were side by side she whispered. "I've missed you."
We broke the hug and she moved away to deal with Alice over something both girls wanted at the same time. All through the meal I watched Heather and Alice, how I longed to be a part of their lives. To come home to a loving wife and daughter instead of a small flat that was undeniably a place of "male only" existence. I was helping Jill in the kitchen after the meal while Chris and Heather were in the other room with the kids, as I dried dishes I asked Jill.
"What's going on Jill? Why did you think I needed to see Heather? I've done everything I could to try and forget about her for the past two years. Now all I want to do is be with her again. Your actions are paramount to rubbing salt in an already festering wound, my life will be shit for the next six months. Thanks a lot."
Turning she put her wet soapy hands on either side of my face, "Be quiet Kevin and listen to me. I watched you last night with Brennan, you may not realize it yet, but you are a natural born daddy. There should be a little one, or little ones, on your lap. I invited Heather after seeing you last night, you two may never recover what you had, but you at least needed to see each other one last time and stop this relentless pining."
I was confused, "Pining. Who the hell is pining? I've moved on."
She spun again to look in my face, "Now you sound like Heather. The same foolish crap falls out of her mouth with as much conviction as it does yours. Moved on my ass, I watched the way you two looked at each other, you're both to damned proud to admit your miserable without the other."
I bristled and stepped back, "Okay then, what about the meathead? I have no desire to be in competition with a rectum like him. Especially now that he's bonded with Alice for nearly three years."
She sighed, "You can be awfully dumb at times Kev, I told you again and again to call her, but you're too damned male to do that. William took off six weeks after Alice was born. When Alice was born Heather had the babies DNA checked against William's, the baby was his. When she refused to marry him, he knew he was on the hook for child support until Alice turned 18. He made the choice to leave and never be seen again, Heather was told by his mother that he had od'd and was buried somewhere in Pennsylvania. His mom died last year, there are no other relatives.
Now I was confused and pissed, "Why wasn't I told? Why didn't she let me know?"
"Let you know? You can't be serious, you made it abundantly clear to Carol that you wanted nothing to do with Heather or the baby after William returned. You've made it clear to me over this past year and a half you weren't interested in calling her. You're not putting this crap at my doorstep buster. But you know now... so what are you going to do about it?"
I was dumb struck, "I - I -- I, have no idea. What do I do Jill? I generally know exactly what I need to do, not this time. I'm lost."
"Do you still want to be with her and love that darling little girl, a little girl who by the way wants a daddy to love and be loved by. If the answer to either of those questions is yes, then go in the other room and sweep her off her feet, hold her and kiss her like you'll never let her go. She'll get the hint."
I continued wasting time in the kitchen with Jill, anything to keep from having to do what she said, I couldn't take another possible dismissal.
