If asked for the most simplistic explanation of that evening with Leta, I would have pointed to the skirt. Her black skirt. Her short, form-fitting, black skirt. The skirt she wore to formal occasions that were more social than formal, like the author's reading we had attended at our west branch bookstore earlier in the evening. The sexuality she expresses in that skirt simply cannot be ignored, especially by me. I am baited by the curve of her, by the way she moves within those curves. Catching glimpses of her across the store or brushing behind her close enough to feel her warmth, I cannot help but want to pounce upon her like a jungle cat.
"I want you," I breathed in her ear during one of those close passes. It caused her the silliest distracted grin while discussing the canapΓ©s with a reviewer from the local newspaper.
But it was more than the skirt, of course. Home, as we went about the rituals of closing our day, I was reminded of whom she is deeper within the skirt. Her care and compassion as a mother. Her loyalty and camaraderie as a sister. Her duty and her kind rebellion as a daughter. All these things and more that she brings together as companion. She makes me proud to know her and to be with her. In doing so, it instills in me a need to protect her, to provide for her, to fight and struggle with this world for what it is to help make what it could be with her. In that too I covet her. In that too I hunger for her.
Being a man it is difficult for me to express such things in truly meaningful ways. Simply saying it seems woefully inadequate and sometimes uncomfortable for reasons I have never understood. Gifts I do well, but again I am not sure if chocolate and trinkets tell her exactly how much she means to me.
My body knows ways, however.
In kisses. In caresses. In more.
I stood behind her in the kitchen as she put away tea mugs. I put my arm lightly around her waist.
"Hello," she said.
"Hi." I kissed the back of her neck.
"It went well this evening."
"Very." Fingers in aimless circles, I felt the silkiness of her blouse and skirt.
"I think Thompson may finally have a seller with this book."
"Yes." Her warmth radiated out into me, drawing me closer.
"I wasn't sure when he said he wanted to try a different story structure, but it seems to have worked for him."
"Yes." I kissed the back of her neck again.
"That's pleasantly distracting."
"Good, then I have accomplished a goal."
"A goal?"
"Yes, and it's not my only goal."
"There are others?"
"This, for one." I turned her toward me and kissed her full on the lips. As I hugged her, I felt the press of her breasts and legs against me.
Breathing a little more heavily, she smiled. "I am so glad you're an ambitious man."
"Good."
As I kissed her again, my right hand slid up her silky blouse to cup her breast. I squeezed her breast as I slid my tongue inside her mouth. She gasped as our tongues flicked at each other. I felt her nipple rise against the gauzy fabric of her bra and blouse. My thumb worked circles around it as my other fingers kneaded the soft warm flesh.
My senses tingled as I kissed and touched her. Everything became brighter about us, more electric. I felt the heat of her. I smelled the scent of her soap and shampoo. I saw the flush of her, the fire in her eyes. I heard the subtle changes of her breathing as she too became more aroused. I lost track of thought. Feeling. Feeling was all I understood.
Touching her.
Kissing her.
My fingers worked feverishly at the buttons of her blouse. I pulled the silky material out of her skirt waistband. Her delicate bra was like a blush against her skin. Her dark nipples poked proudly from it. I unsnapped the front closure and cupped her bare breast. She gasped inside my mouth as we kissed. My fingers found her nipple. I traced circles around the aureole. I pinched and pulled at the lovely nub.
Her hands stroked my hair and face. She kissed my lips and throat. She pulled me closer. I pinned her against our kitchen counter.
I leant over her to take her nipple in my mouth. I drew it deeply between my lips and flicked it with my tongue. I nipped it gently with my teeth.
Her head dropped back and she groaned in pleasure.