If asked for the most simplistic explanation of that evening with Leta, I would have pointed to the skirt. Her black skirt. Her short, form-fitting, black skirt. The skirt she wore to formal occasions that were more social than formal, like the author's reading we had attended at our west branch bookstore earlier in the evening. The sexuality she expresses in that skirt simply cannot be ignored, especially by me. I am baited by the curve of her, by the way she moves within those curves. Catching glimpses of her across the store or brushing behind her close enough to feel her warmth, I cannot help but want to pounce upon her like a jungle cat.
"I want you," I breathed in her ear during one of those close passes. It caused her the silliest distracted grin while discussing the canapΓ©s with a reviewer from the local newspaper.
But it was more than the skirt, of course. Home, as we went about the rituals of closing our day, I was reminded of whom she is deeper within the skirt. Her care and compassion as a mother. Her loyalty and camaraderie as a sister. Her duty and her kind rebellion as a daughter. All these things and more that she brings together as companion. She makes me proud to know her and to be with her. In doing so, it instills in me a need to protect her, to provide for her, to fight and struggle with this world for what it is to help make what it could be with her. In that too I covet her. In that too I hunger for her.
Being a man it is difficult for me to express such things in truly meaningful ways. Simply saying it seems woefully inadequate and sometimes uncomfortable for reasons I have never understood. Gifts I do well, but again I am not sure if chocolate and trinkets tell her exactly how much she means to me.
My body knows ways, however.
In kisses. In caresses. In more.
I stood behind her in the kitchen as she put away tea mugs. I put my arm lightly around her waist.
"Hello," she said.
"Hi." I kissed the back of her neck.
"It went well this evening."
"Very." Fingers in aimless circles, I felt the silkiness of her blouse and skirt.
"I think Thompson may finally have a seller with this book."
"Yes." Her warmth radiated out into me, drawing me closer.
"I wasn't sure when he said he wanted to try a different story structure, but it seems to have worked for him."
"Yes." I kissed the back of her neck again.
"That's pleasantly distracting."
"Good, then I have accomplished a goal."
"A goal?"
"Yes, and it's not my only goal."
"There are others?"
"This, for one." I turned her toward me and kissed her full on the lips. As I hugged her, I felt the press of her breasts and legs against me.