Signs

This story is told in a series of flashbacks from the main character's perspective. It could only be told in that manner, so in order to avoid confusion, I've used directional arrows to separate the shifts, back for the past, forward for the present. Hopefully this will help avoid confusion and make it a smooth read for everyone.

Thanks as always to my editor Kev, and my friends who helped me to find the right words. A very special thanks to J for giving me permission to tell the story. She is and always will be my inspiration.

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"Next stop, Midway airport," the shuttle bus driver announced cheerfully as the doors opened.

Jay regarded him dubiously, but forced a smile, feeling guilty for not returning the man's polite attempt at cheerfulness at such an ungodly hour. He picked up his bags and stepped wearily into the vehicle.

"I thought all the stops were the airport?" he replied sarcastically, immediately regretting the tone.

The driver seemed not to notice as he continued. "Where are you flying out to?"

"Dallas," Jay answered, trying to sound more upbeat.

"Well, you sure picked a great time for it," the man said, peering intently through the windshield to make out the road through the falling snow. "It's supposed to be below zero for a week. Is it business, or pleasure?"

"Pleasure," Jay mumbled robotically, sounding like it was anything but. He stared out into the inclement weather, too lost in his thoughts to acknowledge the driver's curious glance.

<<<<<<<

His thoughts drifted back to long before the trips started, all the way to his high school days. It was not a happy time; Jay had always felt like an outsider. He just didn't have an interest in many of the normal things his peers did. Parties, drinking, social acceptance, they all seemed somehow unimportant. Despite that, a part of him yearned for that kind of "normal" life.

This dichotomy kept him in a constant state of unease around people. Jay had friends during that time but none very close, and although he dated a few girls he never felt comfortable in his own skin. He was drawn to athletics, but only excelled in the ones that didn't earn the respect of his peers. In the small town he grew up in, if you didn't play football, you weren't really an athlete.

Jay finally found his niche after he graduated, knowing the first time he picked up a guitar, it was what he was meant to do. Not only was it more socially acceptable than his previous hobbies, there was something about it that made him feel alive. When life simply became unbearable, he found solace in the endless hours of practice that honed his skills.

During this time there were dozens of relationships (one of the perks of being a musician). Several were quite passionate, but none rose above the level of fleeting fancy. Of the ones that were even remotely more serious, most ended badly, further convincing Jay that there was simply something different about him...something that kept him from finding that normal life he used to dream of wistfully.

He began to believe there really was no such thing as a soul mate, or even someone who shared his passions enough to form a lifelong bond.

As music became more of a hobby and less of a career choice, he plunged headfirst into the business world, putting himself through school and working his way into better jobs and a more secure financial position. Still, it seemed to do nothing to help him figure out his place in the world. The milestone of reaching his mid-thirties with nothing having changed was reason for concern.

Just after turning 35, he started dating a woman he'd been friends with for several years. She was intelligent, attractive, and high-spirited, but after a handful of dates, he instinctively knew this was doomed to fail like all of his relationships. Still, he felt compelled, to stick it out to be sure. For several months they dated, while both tried not to acknowledge the obvious limitations of their feelings and compatibility.

When she informed him that she was pregnant, it was a cold slap to the face. He felt like he had finally woken up. He told himself the time for dreams and fantasies was over. It was time to be responsible and accept life for what it was.

They married soon after, and he found that sharing her pregnancy was far more fulfilling than the selfish pursuits he had always engaged in. The birth of his daughter was the first moment of true, untainted joy he had ever felt. It was to be short lived, unfortunately, as things went bad quickly with his wife. They split up before Cindy turned one, and then things went from bad to worse.

Her friends encouraged her to fight him every step of the way, and the result was Jay facing bankruptcy by the time the process worked itself out. This, combined with massive layoffs in the local job market, left him in a hole he didn't know if he'd ever recover from. Adding insult to injury, his now ex-wife Maggie used every excuse possible to punish him with threats of taking away his daughter. It left him defensive and withdrawn, vowing to never trust a woman again.

>>>>>>>

"Here you go son," the driver chirped, snapping him from his reverie. "I wish I could trade places with you right now."

Jay smiled ruefully, nodding to the man, then stepped off the bus wondering how sure he'd be about that statement it if he only knew the whole story.

He entered the terminal and was greeted with a blast of hot air. Grateful for the respite from the unforgiving cold, Jay bathed in it for several moments before stepping inside and checking his watch.

"Still an hour before I can get started," he mumbled to himself. Finding the nearest vending machine, he grabbed a soda, then walked to the bench that faced the entrance. He sat down, put his earphones in, and turned up his MP3 player, trying to block out the intense feeling of déjà vu.

<<<<<<<

Five long years after his divorce, he met Hannah. He was visiting an internet chat room, posting on a meaningless thread when he saw her avatar: an amazingly beautiful black & white picture of a nude woman from behind, taken on a bed. Jay was skeptical the gorgeous body really belonged to the person who posted it, but began paying closer attention to her comments to find out more. Usually shy about approaching women (especially ones he found truly beautiful), he felt uncharacteristically compelled to get to know her better.

Hannah was friendly, but understandably cautious, choosing to flirt outrageously in anonymous character, while disclosing very little about herself. After weeks of keeping him at arms length, he saw his first real opportunity when she finally spoke about the problems relating to her own divorce and how it affected her. Jay immediately saw how much her situation mirrored his own. He started noticing the melancholy undertones of her posts. It convinced him more than ever that he had to find a way to reach her, to show her he was someone she could trust.

Slowly he noticed a change in her behavior toward him. She began pursuing him for casual conversations, both on the board and via private message. He quickly developed a comfort level about more personal subjects, and found her quite receptive. One thing he noticed immediately was her sheer sexuality. She was unafraid to broach any subject, and talked freely about her own experiences, many of which made Jay realize just how tame his adventures with sex had been.

At the same time, he was touched by her sensitivity and vulnerability. Her commitment to her kids was extraordinary. As a friend, she had a quality that put everyone around her at ease. More than anything, Jay was moved by the way she made him feel about himself. She clearly knew what she wanted, but thoroughly enjoyed letting him dictate the topics of their discussions, dropping hints about her preferences that he picked up effortlessly.

As the days went by, their conversations escalated in intensity. With no topics off limit, their obvious affection for each other grew rapidly. One Saturday night, Jay went on a date with another woman. Despite it going well, he found himself counting the minutes until he would get home to see if Hannah was online so he could discuss it with her. Although she inquired about details, she later confessed to finding herself a little jealous, wanting to do something to claim Jay for herself. She gave him her phone number during the conversation, showing she was finally comfortable enough to let him completely in to her life.

The next night, they had a long discussion that led to her touching herself to orgasm while he instructed her on what he wanted her to do. It was a first for him, yet felt as natural as anything he had done with any woman before. After they hung up the phone, he sat alone for hours reliving the experience, more certain than ever that he had to see her, no matter what. The only question in his mind was, did it have more to do with the sex, or was it real emotions he had developed for this woman he had never met?

Within a week, the calls had become nightly, and the sexual nature had become a staple. They had progressed to video chats as well, with him watching this amazing creature pleasure herself with an abandon that left him breathless. He was stunned to realize their anonymous conversations felt as intense as any sexual encounter he had experienced in a previous relationship. In fact, it was far more than most of them.

During the next couple of weeks, the daily calls continued, with increased openness about each other's lives, hopes and dreams. Jay found they shared many interests, but none more than their openness to experimentation with sex. Hannah had led a conservative lifestyle for most of her adult life and was anxious to break out and try new things.

Her enthusiasm for him exerting control over their sexual relationship pushed Jay to come up with new and more exotic fantasies. Whether it was sex in public, group sex, bondage, or especially lesbian sex, she responded enthusiastically to everything he tried. In fact, the more brazen he was with his language or description of a sexual act, the more she responded. This gave him a sense of freedom, which led to a closeness that had been missing in so many of his failed relationships.

Finally he told her he wanted them to meet. To his relief, she was equally as enthusiastic, and they immediately made plans. The problem was one of distance. She lived in Dallas, he in Chicago. Luckily his new job allowed him more free time as well as more money for things like a last-minute vacation. They chose to stay at a hotel to avoid complications with her family or ex, and to shield the kids from the new relationship...especially since neither was quite sure what to expect.

The weeks preceding the trip seemed to pass in slow motion. Although the wait was agonizing for both of them, it hit Jay especially hard. He already knew he was in love with her and had intricately planned out the details of how to tell her. It was not something he said easily, only using those words with a few women in his life, and none with the conviction he felt toward Hannah.

The clock slowly ticked forward the night before his flight. Minutes seemed like hours as he lay in bed staring first at the ceiling, then at the clock, then back to the ceiling. He managed to get about an hour of restless sleep before his alarm sounded. Quickly he showered, then made sure he had packed everything, before heading out the door.

Because the flight was so early, the lines were surprisingly short. Jay smiled to himself as he approached the metal detectors, wondering what the reaction would be to some of the personal items he had brought. The female security guard pulled his bag to the side to check the items when it was flagged, only to blush as she discovered the negligee, massage oil, and vibrator he had purchased for his visit.

The guard repacked the bag and gave a knowing smile as Jay took it from the conveyor belt. He tried to suppress a laugh as he walked to the gate, where he only had another hour to kill before the flight left.

>>>>>>>

"It was just like today,"

Jay thought, disquieted by the feelings the memory stirred.

"It would be so much easier if it wasn't.

He was startled by an announcement over the loudspeakers that the ticket kiosks were open, and customers could begin making their way through the airport. With a sigh, he stood and made his way towards the escalator, letting his mind wander to a happier time.

<<<<<<<

His first flight to see Hannah was uneventful but frustrating. Time continued to drag, plus he was starting to feel the effects of not sleeping the night before. He managed to catch a couple of short naps which were filled with a mixture of both wonderful and anxious dreams. Despite his certainty about his feelings for her, he couldn't shake the nagging worry that the reality couldn't possibly live up to the fantasy.

The flight landed, and he texted Hannah to let her know he had arrived. They had talked about the possibility of fooling around before they made the long drive to the hotel, so she was parked in the underground lot in case the opportunity for naughtiness presented itself.

He went down to the baggage claim where he quickly retrieved his bags, then turned to look for her. For several moments he scanned the area, seeing travelers greeted by loved ones. The anticipation grew as time ticked by until he felt himself trembling. Finally he spotted her about fifty feet away, walking towards him. She was exquisite, with light brown hair just past her shoulders and a thin, athletic body that was every bit as incredible as her photos. She was wearing a brown top that tied on the sides, and a flowery gypsy skirt, one he had specifically requested she wear.

"Hey you," she said pleasantly, but somewhat stiffly. Leaning in, she gave him a hug, then a quick peck on the lips. "Come on, we have to hurry." Jay was surprised at how distracted she seemed.

"Wait," he said, capturing her by her shoulder and pulling her back against his chest. He lowered his face to hers, covering her mouth with his softly. Her lips parted invitingly, causing him to react with a hunger that left no doubt how desperately he wanted her. As he nibbled and teased at her lips, he felt her tongue searching for his. He reciprocated, pulling her against his chest tighter, his excitement now unmistakable. Jay picked her up off of the ground, allowing his thigh to press against her groin as he gently rocked her to a rhythm that they both felt.

"Seriously," she pleaded, pulling away. "We have to go. I'm having...issues."

Jay chuckled, recalling numerous conversations about how wet she tended to get while excited. "Well, if it's an emergency," he teased.

With an exasperated glare, Hannah led him by the hand to the elevators and, grabbed the first one available. The two stepped inside, finding themselves alone. As soon as the doors closed, Jay dropped his bags and pinned her against the glass wall, resuming their kiss. He dropped one hand down to the edge of her skirt, and slid it up the smooth skin of the inside of her thigh. He was delighted to find that she wasn't wearing panties.

"You weren't kidding," he teased, his fingers meeting a very warm and wet destination. She blushed, and turned away, but he caught her cheek with the fingers of his other hand, bringing her face back towards his. "You are amazing," he said in genuine admiration, sliding a long, slender finger teasingly along the now soaked opening. She arched her neck, letting her head fall back, and he nibbled at her neck as he plunged a finger deeply inside her.

The ding of the elevator warned them the doors were about to open, so he stepped away, making sure she watched as he slid the finger across his lips, his tongue darting out to catch every drop.

"We have to go, now!" she insisted, with no hint of humor.

Jay chuckled to himself again, following her to the parking lot, then to her car. He quickly surveyed the surroundings wanting to do more, but decided the section was too busy. They quickly got into the car and backed out. His hand immediately found its way back to her thigh, stroking it softly as she drove.

Jay was taking great pleasure at the obvious discomfort he was putting her through, knowing that every second he kept it up was heightening her arousal. When they reached the tollgate at the exit, he refused to remove his hand, simply pulling her skirt over it instead.

Traffic was pretty heavy on the way to the hotel, so he used every second of the trip to continue to tease her and potentially allow other drivers to see what he was doing. By the time they arrived, he knew Hannah was crawling out of her skin. They grabbed only what they absolutely needed, then hurried inside. They walked to the front desk, where they were greeted by a lovely young Asian woman.

"Can I get your reservation number," she asked pleasantly, completely unaware that Jay's hand was now stroking the back of Hannah's thigh, inexorably working its way up.

When he felt her hand stop his, Jay leaned close and hissed sternly, "Let go, now."

She immediately complied, and he slid his hand up the rest of the way to her ass. He squeezed and whispered into her ear.

"Maybe we should invite her to the room." Hannah shivered perceptibly at the suggestion, and Jay began to slide his fingers forward, teasing her labia.

When the clerk turned away, he slid a finger as deeply into her as he could, then whispered, "Would you like that? How would it feel to have her tongue gliding across your clit, her fingers sliding inside you?"

Hannah ground against his hand as her body sagged into his. For a moment, Jay thought she might orgasm standing right there at the front desk. However, the woman returned and he discreetly pulled away, wondering if someone would be enjoying the view from the security camera behind them later.

The moment the door to the room closed behind them, they dropped the bags and fell into each other's embrace. Without warning, Jay pinned her against the wall, sinking to his knees. He pulled at the tie on the side of the skirt, allowing it to work itself free, the material sliding down her legs as if in slow motion.

Jay took a moment to stare at what he had only seen via picture and video until that moment. Her pubic hair was shaved clean, giving him a clear look at her outer lips, swollen with arousal. He leaned forward, slowly sliding his tongue across them, careful to avoid her clit. Hannah moaned in frustration as he touched every inch of her skin except her most sensitive spot. He lifted one of her legs and placed it on his shoulder, opening up her most private area to his hungry mouth.

His tongue immediately pushed between her lips and inside her. Her hands clenched in his hair as he repeated the stabbing motion over and over. His hands squeezed her ass, then moved up to her breasts. He pinched, then twisted her nipple harshly, knowing her affinity for rough sex. As her moaning reached a crescendo, he slid his mouth up, covering the top of her pussy, and circled her clit with his tongue.

"Oh baby, yes!" she cried, finally close to getting the release her body craved.

He sucked her clit between his lips, then released it, drawing an even stronger shiver from her. He used the technique faster and faster, letting her body help him find the right rhythm to use. Her breath became gasps as the unmistakable signs of an orgasm started. He pinched harder as he sucked against her clit and held it, flicking across with his tongue as roughly as he could.

She didn't say a word as she came, the only signs were her body's uncontrollable shaking and her fingers clenching even tighter. It continued longer than he expected, finally culminating in her pushing him away as the sensations turned ticklish and her moans turned to fits of giggling.