She Painted Up Her Face Ch 02

Chapter 2

The first chapter of this story was so deliberately heavy going, that I understood why many did not like it. When I ended it, I left Brian's fate open to the reader's imagination. Some time later I decided to continue the story with no firm ending in sight. I stopped several times as the direction did not lead to a fitting resolution. Some would ask why I bothered. I had to resolve the story, and I had to do it in a positive way. This is the direction this story finally took. CM

She painted up my face and wished that for once the mirror would lie to her. It could at least tell her that the ravages of time meant nothing, that she was still a beautiful woman. But her mirror was incapable of lying to her, it was incapable of airbrushing the reality of her life, a life once full of potential but now....

It was only a light dusting of make-up, just enough to cover the scars, an understated lipstick and minimal eye make-up. She had thought of wearing a business suit, but that would look totally out of place where she was going, so it was jeans, a casual top and joggers. She kissed her mother good-bye. "You are doing the right thing." She was told as she left.

He was in the same pile of rags that he had been the night before. "Brian, it's me, Julia." His response was muffled by the rags around his head. She pulled them back to get a closer look. "Fuck." The needle was still in his arm. She ran to the all night café. "Can I use your phone please, it's urgent."

"I've made it a policy not to get involved."

"I'm not asking you to get involved, just let me use your phone to call for an ambulance."

"I'll do that for you, where do I send it."

"Under the bridge."

"If it's for one of those bums that are sleeping rough down there, you're wasting your time, even if they survive they'll just end up back down there."

"For Christ's sake he's my husband!"

He dialled the number and was directing the ambulance to the bridge as she ran from the café.

She was holding his unresponsive head in her lap when she saw the flashing lights of the ambulance and two paramedics scramble down to the path under the bridge. "Here! Please come quickly."

"Another one, that's the third tonight." The paramedic jabbed a syringe into the arm. "We'll just get the stretcher, you seem to know this man, are you going to come with us?"

"Yes, I think I will."

"You do realise that we'll have to involve the police in this, don't you?"

"I thought as much."

"Just as long as you're aware of the procedures that we have to follow."

She sat in the waiting area while Brian was cleaned up and his treatment initiated. Two policemen came in and the paramedic point her out to them. "Hi, I'm Sergeant Travis and this is Constable Forrest. We've been told that you know this man."

"Yes, he's my ex-husband."

"Your ex? Does he have a wife?"

"If you could call her that."

"How can we contact her?"

"Not that it will do any good, she's probably shagging his ex-boss as we speak."

"I think that you should start at the beginning, don't you?"

"His name is Brian Robertson, and for some five years I was Julia Robertson. That was until he kicked me out so that he could marry his current and soon to be ex-wife."

"Julia Robertson, I thought that you looked familiar, you were beaten up about twelve months ago."

"Don't remind me, you lot didn't help any, he got off without any charges being laid."

"The evidence didn't leave us with much choice, you after all were on the game, and every now and then girls like you get roughed up, it's an occupational hazard."

"For one thing I was not on the game, I was more of an enthusiastic amateur. The fact that he was a judge didn't help me much either. The physical scars are just about gone, but the emotional scars are a long way from gone, believe me."

"Yeah, I'm sorry that we did not investigate the matter further. You weren't the last person to suffer his rough sexual perversions."

"I don't suppose that you still have the evidence from that crime, like DNA samples, do you?"

"Probably, what do you have in mind?"

"If word were to get to him that, in light of new evidence, you were going to reopen the case, he might over react and do something stupid." She said.

"Like what?"

"Come and see me and apply pressure on me to drop the matter. A visit of that nature is as good as a confession on his part."

"It's worth a try, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. He could hold it up in the judicial system for years."

"I just want to see him squirm."

"So how is it that you are helping out your ex? I would have thought that under the circumstances you would have let him rot in hell."

"Because I was brought up to help people that have been hurt, you know, like the 'Good Samaritan', not like his father who was like the Priest in that parable. He, a good Christian, turned his back on me when his son told him that I had been unfaithful, now he has turned his back on his own son when he found out what his lies had done to me."

"You don't think highly of your ex-father-in-law do you?"

"You could say that. He convinced my father that I have been unfaithful to Brian, because that's what he was told. My father is currently in a mental health facility being treated for clinical depression after he found out that Brian's father, the Minister of his church, had supported his son's lies and convinced him that his own daughter had been unfaithful."

"And yet you're willing to help him?"

"The jury's out on that. I couldn't walk away from him, just as I couldn't walk away from someone else in his situation. I thought that I should fill you in on the background, because the chances are that, for him to have any chance of making a full recovery, he should have the cause for his using drugs treated."

"The hospital's initial duty is to treat his condition, for it to progress beyond that will depend on whether he wants that to happen. The hospital can't force him to seek treatment for any other condition."

"Then I guess that I'll have to wait until he comes out of this and see what he wants to do. How long will it be before he's coherent?"

"Who knows with this? It depends on how much he took and what his tolerance is to the drug. If he's a heavy and regular user it may only take a day or two but if he's new to this it could take longer. There are several puncture wounds on his arms, so it would appear as if he's been on it for a while. I tell you what, you leave a contact number and we'll call when he comes out of it. Now go home and get some rest."

Not knowing how long it would be before she could speak to him was the hardest part. Two days later the hospital called and she went to see him.

"Hi Brian, how are you?"

"Who? What do you want?"

"It's me Julia."

"I suppose that you've come to gloat."

"No, I've come to help you."

"Why? Why would you want to help me after what I've done to you?"

"What you've done to me is nothing compared to what you've done to yourself. I've had some experience with rejection, so I'm in a good place to help you."

"But why? That was you that I saw, I can't remember when it was, but I saw someone who looked a lot like you. She didn't stop."

"That was me. I didn't stop because I didn't recognise you at first and then I didn't know how I felt about you, after all the memories were not that good, in case you've forgotten. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"I deserved it. My life is a mess, my wife has left me for one of my bosses. She really knew how to kick me when I was down. Do you know that she told me that my son, the reason that I split with you, wasn't mine at all. Neither was my daughter who came along a year later. Neither of them were mine, and to think that I threw you over because she told me that she was pregnant to me. I don't know how I could have been such a fool."

"You wanted it to be true. You were determined that we should have a family and when we couldn't have children you were desperate. That you convinced yourself that I must have been the problem because you had got her pregnant was motivation enough for you. I knew that it wasn't my problem but you wouldn't listen. A couple of years ago I fell pregnant, it was a one night's stand, and I had to have an abortion. Having proof that I could have children was difficult to handle."

"My father didn't help. When I told him that I was ending our marriage because I had got another woman pregnant he was angry. When he had calmed down he told me that this news was a disaster for his position in the church, and that we had to shift the blame onto you, I was shocked. How could a good Christian like him even contemplate spreading the lie that you had been unfaithful was beyond me, but you know father, once he has his mind made up there is no changing it. That he should tell your parents that you had cheated on me, now he shouldn't have done that. For Christ's sake, you were completely innocent. What made it worse was your father rejecting you. But then he didn't have much option, to reject my father's word was unthinkable, and to support you would have been just as bad."

"Yeah, that hurt, being told that I was no longer welcome in their house was the beginning of my downhill spiral."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what happened to you until recently. I guess that I couldn't handle the guilt."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to help you, but to do that I need to know what your plans are."

"I don't know, I don't even know what is available for me."

"The first thing is to get you clean, but to do that you will have to want to do that."

"How do I do that?"

"We will contact a rehab service and you can enter into a programme to help you through the withdrawal process. Then you can take whatever steps necessary to get your life back on track. It ain't going to be easy, I can tell you. I will help you as much as I can, but it's up to you. I will give you my support, I will direct you to where you have to go to get help, but you have to get there on your own steam."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I was brought up believing that I should to help those in need. That it is you that is in need is irrelevant. If, sometime in the nebulous future our feelings toward each other should change, then we'll address that when it happens. There are no guarantees, who knows, I might meet someone who fulfils my physical and spiritual needs, and you'll have to accept that."

His changed expression told her that he had probably had thoughts of us getting back together. If that were to happen it would be on her terms.

It was two days later that he was released from hospital. She went to the ward to collect him. She had some clean clothes that she had bought from a charity shop and she shoved the clothes that he was wearing when he was taken to hospital into a plastic garbage bag and dumped it in a rubbish bin.

"I'm living at home with Mum and I thought that you could stay with us, seeing as how you have nowhere else to go."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Like I told you before, I was brought up to help those in need." She realised as she said this that he could take it the wrong way, and that she was having a go at him and his father. "Look, what happened before is in the past." That didn't help any. "Sorry. We, that's you and me, will need to concentrate on getting you back on the straight and narrow. I have made an appointment with a Rehab Clinic and we are going to see them tomorrow. If you get in you will be there for at least three months and, in that time I will not be able to come and see you. It seems that they have a strict policy of separating you from your former life, something to do with the memories of that life might cause a relapse. I tried to tell them that our previous life didn't cause the problem, but they weren't so sure. It was the memory of that life that triggered this, not the fact that your current wife dumped you for someone else. Your father's reaction probably didn't help."

Her mother was so good. She welcomed him as if he was still her fiancé and they were still young and in love. She had made up the bed in the spare bedroom, she cooked a great meal for the both of them, and she made sure that there was no mention on their past lives in the conversation.

Julia drove with him to the Rehab Centre and stayed while the administrative formalities were finalised. She held his hand as they stood outside the reception area. "I'll see you whenever it's clear for you to leave. I hope that you are able to get through this, I wouldn't like to see you like you were the other night."

"Thank you for what you have done, what you are doing for me, I'll try not to let you down."

"No, that's not what I wanted to hear. What you should have said was 'I won't let you down."

"I won't let you down."

"That's better." She kissed him for the first time in many years and left. "Shit, did I just do that?" she thought. "If he felt what I just felt, no, that can't happen, I don't want it to happen. I might have forgiven him, but my memories are probably stronger than my forgiveness.

The day after he entered rehab a visitor arrived, Brian's mother. "May I come in?" She asked when Julia opened the door.

"Sure, come in," She stood aside as she came into the living room. "Why are you here?" Julia asked.

"Your mother called me yesterday to tell me that you had found Brian in a bad way, and that you have convinced him to seek treatment. I have to ask, why are you doing this after what he has done to you?"

"I was brought up to help others, no matter what the circumstance. I see this as no different from helping someone that I don't know. Just because his father concocted the lie about me and my father accused me of lying to him, I can't see any reason why I shouldn't help him if he needed it."

"Then you're a much more forgiving person that I would have expected. He certainly does not deserve it. I can sort of forgive him for falling for that woman, but to try to shift the blame onto you, that I can't forgive."

"That wasn't his idea, it was your husband that came up with that to save his reputation."

"His precious reputation, everything revolved around his reputation. Look where that got him, I wouldn't be in his shoes right now."

Mother came in from the back yard. "I thought I heard the door bell. Hi Susan, how are you feeling today, knowing that Brian is being taken care of?"

"Don't rub it in. You know that I was never able to do anything that Robert didn't agree with, but now, and this is going to shock you, I don't give a fuck about him and what he thinks. I intend to do everything I can to make it up to you for all the pain and suffering that you have gone through because of my wonderful husband and his son. They were tarred with the same brush."

"I don't blame Brian, after all what choice did he have? It wasn't his idea to tell the world that I was a tramp."

"He didn't have the strength of character to stand up to what he knew was wrong."

"How do you know that it wasn't the conniving bitch that put him up to it. She had him wrapped around her little finger that tightly that he had to do exactly what she said or else she would have dumped him."

"That would have been preferable to what they all put you through. I've spoken to the other partners at his old law firm and hinted that I was exploring the possibilities of suing them for the actions of the partner that has succumbed to her, and caused Brian to sink to the condition that we find him in."

"Good luck with that, I don't think that you'll get very far."

"Neither do I, I'm flying a kite to see what they will do with her and her new lover."

Julia was waiting for him when he emerged from the rehab clinic. "Hi Brian, how are you feeling?"

"Julia, I'm surprised to see you here, happy but surprised."

"Why would you be surprised? Did you think that I would turn my back on you? I'm not that callous."

"I know, but I wouldn't have blamed you." He was struggling to get his head around my feelings for him.

"Look, I've been giving our situations a great deal of thought over the past three months. I couldn't simply abandon you when you needed support the most. I came to realise that, deep down in my subconscious, I still have feelings for you. Don't laugh. In the time that we were together, I was very much in love with you and those feelings don't disappear just because of the way that I was treated. It wasn't all your fault, you fell for the bitch, you weren't the first and it appears as if you won't be the last. You allowed yourself to be led by people that thought only of themselves, that won't happen again. I know you well enough to know that given the opportunity, you can and will make the most of this opportunity that I'm giving you."

"I'm having a hard time getting my head around this. You are the person I'd least expect to want to help me. I don't deserve this."

"Everyone deserves a second chance and, by giving you a second chance I'm giving myself one, why is that so hard to understand?"

"Because I have never faced this situation before."

"That's because you were brought up to think only of yourself. Your father, who professed to be a Christian, forget one of the most fundamental tenets of his faith, it is the love for others. I don't think I'm the right person to take you through this, I'm too close to you, you need help from someone outside those closest to you. I have the name of a Psychologist that can help you. You have to make one promise."

"What's that?"

"She's a woman, and you are in a very vulnerable position, you can be susceptible to the influence of others. I can't have you falling in love with her now, can I?"

"So, if I fall for her I can't be in love with you, is that it?"

"You got it in one."

Susan told me that she didn't think that Brian was in any fit condition to be driving, so Julia got the job of driving him to his appointment with Doctor Blundell.

She went in with him and, after taking his details and a background of where he's at, the Psychologist asked him to leave us for a few minutes,

"Julia, are you his wife?"

"No, I was but not now, why do you ask?"

"I noticed that when you made this appointment you used the same surname as his, but your interaction with him suggests you're neither his wife, nor his sister."

"We divorced some time ago so that he could marry the woman that told him she was pregnant to him. He married her and then found out that the child, and subsequent child, were not his. He lost the plot and hit the skids big time. I rescued him from the streets, he was addicted to heroin, and took him to a clinic to get straightened out. That's where it stands."

"Are there any thoughts of a reconciliation?:

"There have been thoughts, but, if that eventuates it will be on my terms. I've made that very clear. He hurt me once, and it took its toll. I will not put myself through that again, ever."

"That gives me something to start with. This session will probably only last about thirty minute, you can wait in the waiting area or go and do some shopping and come back in thirty minutes, it's up to you. Send him in on your way out."

Julia left the room. "She'll see you now, good luck." She didn't want to kiss him so she walked out without allowing him to kiss her.

She found a cafe and sat with a cup of decent coffee and blueberry muffin while attempting to gather her thoughts. 'Did I really want a relationship with him? He may not provide me with a stable relationship that I needed in my life. If difficulties were to arise, would he relapse? While she realised that she did have feelings for him and sort of hoped it could work out, doubts were beginning to form in her mind, doubts that she reasoned would only get worse if she continued to dwell on them.