She stood outside in her garage, the music loud, surrounding her. She closed her eyes and wished he was with her. They had only been together once and it had been so wonderful. But they hadn’t been able to meet since then and it was making her crazy. She had been emailing him and every once in a while he talked to her on the phone. It had been so frustrating because she couldn’t find the right words to talk to him with. When they wrote to each other she had no problem pouring out her heart to him, but speaking to him made her mind go blank.
She had gone out to the garage to change the laundry and found herself standing in front of the stereo putting in the City of Angels CD that reminded her so much of him. She selected Angel….yes, he was her angel after all. The music, the words, took her away; there was no way someone young could understand the depths of emotion Sarah McLachlan had written into this song. To understand it you had to have lived some; to have suffered some from bitter heartbreak and a failed marriage and from the way life always tries to knock you down every time you stand up. She had always loved this song, that’s why she had chosen it that other night, but after that first night it had become Samy.
Now, she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself as she began to move with the music; it filled her, the words burned into her soul and lifted her. Music had always been able to carry her away; every song from her past brought back vivid personal memories. But this song reminded her of Samy. He had brought to her that same feeling of safe harbor, and she sorely missed him even if she had only been with him that one time. She hadn’t wanted to go home that day. She had driven home wondering if he had really felt the same as her, or was she just being foolish? She had wondered if she would ever see him again, or if he was done with her since he’d gotten what he’d wanted. Then, he had written her and the whole world opened up for her again. She had almost given up, almost let life beat her……Thoughts of him, the words they had shared filled her,