I swing open the door to the apartment, revealing the tall, curvy, gorgeous brunette, and also my best friend. "Shan!" I pull her inside and kick the door shut before turning to throw my arms around her, nearly knocking the white cardboard box right out of her hands.
Shannon passes the box off to her brother and wraps her arms around me tightly. "Hi! I missed you!" She laughs, her cheek pressed against mine. She visited last month, for my 24th birthday, but it feels like it's been longer.
I try and smile, because I am happy to see her, but I feel like I might cry instead. "You have no idea," I murmur, trying to keep it together, "I am so glad you're here."
Shannon leans back so that she can look me in the face, her dark brown eyes searching, "What's wrong, babe?" I shake my head ever-so-slightly, and she nods, getting that I don't want to talk about it right now. To Jeremy, she greets, "Hey Jer." They exchange a one-armed hug as she explains, "I brought donuts and bagels. Please tell me you have coffee. I've been up since five and I didn't want to have to stop to pee, so I haven't had any yet. I'm barely alive."
"It's brewing," Jeremy tells her. "I didn't think you'd be here this early."
"I told you I wanted to spend the whole weekend with my two favorite people," Shan grins as she takes off her backpack, tosses it in the direction of my open bedroom door, and follows Jeremy over to the kitchen area.
I pick my pillow up off the floor, where I dropped it when I realized Shannon was at the door, and take hold of one of her backpack straps. I bring both into my bedroom and place them on my bed. I am startled when I see the spider is perched on my headboard, feeling like it's staring right at me and waiting to pounce. I dart back out to the living room and walk quickly through to the kitchen.
Jeremy takes one look at my face and guesses, "That spider's back?"
Shannon strides towards my bedroom with a determined look on her face. She bends to remove one of her shoes, asking, "Where?"
"On the headboard," I call after her as she disappears inside my room.
Brynn, Jeremy's overnight guest, emerges from the bathroom, looking fresh-faced. She must have run a brush through her blonde locks, seeing how it lies sleek against her head now. Shannon nearly walks into her as she exits my bedroom, stating, "I got it. I need a tissue -- oops!" She blinks in confusion, looking at the unfamiliar blonde. "Where'd you come from?"
"Sorry?" Brynn turns her head in search of Jeremy, who quickly comes to her rescue.
"Shan," Jeremy says disarmingly, "This is Brynn. We met at AA. Brynn, this is my sister, Shannon."
"I should have known that," Brynn states, "You two look related."
Shannon looks at Jeremy through narrowed eyes, but she doesn't say anything to him. In response to Brynn, she confirms, "Yeah, we get that a lot. Sorry for nearly knocking you over. I didn't realize anyone else was here."
"Oh, it's okay! I was actually getting ready to leave. I have to get home..." Brynn shuffles awkwardly towards the front door.
"I'll walk you out," Jeremy offers.
Shannon turns her brown gaze in my direction once they've gone out into the hall. She whispers, "Did she stay over last night?"
I give her a half-hearted shrug, neither confirming or denying. It's pretty obvious Brynn spent the night, seeing how it's not even eight-thirty, but it's not my business. Jeremy made it clear he doesn't want me telling his sister details about his life, so I'll let her interrogate him herself. "I'm going to take a shower."
"Lex," Shannon's words make me pause, "Are you okay?"
"Not really," I admit, "But let me just shower first. I'll tell you what's going on after, okay?"
Shannon nods, and I continue towards the bathroom Brynn had just occupied. As glad as I am to have my best friend here for the weekend, I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to divulge all the shitty details of my recent discovery after such a bad night's sleep. I wish I could go back to bed for a few hours, but Shan isn't going to let me do that. At least I can wash up. The hot water helps melt away the tension in my lower back after a night on the couch. I linger under the showerhead for a few minutes after I've washed my hair and body, just trying to gather my thoughts.
When I'm done in the bathroom, I go to my room to get dressed, and Shannon follows after me. She flops down on my bed as I gather clothes from my dresser. She waits patiently while I silently pull my clothes on, and then flips over onto her stomach, staring at me with her chin in her hand. "Spill," She orders.
"I don't even know where to start," I groan, flopping down beside her on the bed. "I've had the shittiest week. Work is killing me. I hate it there."
"You need to start looking for something else," Shannon advises me, "I've been telling you for months. There's better places out there, you just have to look."
I'm sure she's right, but the idea of applications and interviews and starting over is not appealing either. "Chris and I had an off-week, too. I honestly don't think he's sexually attracted to me anymore. I basically begged him for sex twice, and he didn't seem interested at all."
"What the fuck?"
"Then, he asked me to move in with him yesterday. Like, completely out of nowhere! He said we're basically living together already, since he sleeps over so often. He told me that he loves me, and he was really sweet, saying that he wants to go to bed every night and wake up each morning with me next to him." Then, he left me to go fuck some leggy brunette.
"What's the problem?" Shannon asks, "Is that not what you want?"
"I wasn't sure," I explain slowly, "I told him okay, because he had to leave to go meet his parents for dinner, but after he left, I started having doubts. I don't know if I'm ready to live with Chris. He has expectations for us that I don't know if I'm ready for."
"You need to tell him, then," Shan says.
"I tried," I sigh, feeling guilty for leaving out the bit about Jeremy and I kissing, "I decided to go talk to him last night, after he got back from dinner. I went to his place, but I forgot my phone at home, so he didn't know I was coming. I caught him cheating on me. I watched him go inside his apartment with another girl, and I could hear them hooking up from outside the door." Shannon gasps, reaching out to rub my back comfortingly. "I was so shocked, I didn't even confront him. I just left. I'm so stupid. I came home and I went to bed, because I didn't want to face it."
"Oh gosh, babe, I'm so sorry! I can't believe him! What a complete ass. You deserve better, Lexi. You know that, right?"
I don't know. Do I? I sigh, "I just don't understand why he would ask me to move in, and say all those things, when that's obviously not what he wanted either. I never pressured him to move in together. I was content with the way things were. Now, he's ruined it."
"Were you really content, though, hon?" Shannon points out to me, "You haven't seemed happy lately, Lex, and these problems didn't all start a week ago. When I visited last month, you and Chris were fighting, and that was on your birthday. He's very condescending towards you, and I hate that you let him walk all over you like that."
