It had been filling the edges of my mind for several months, like sand fills air pockets in a jar full of pebbles. My growing attraction to a long-time friend was now nearing obsession and I still hadn't worked up the courage to tell him. But tonight was going to be the night. Bryn had come over to help with dinner and my outfit. As dinner was nearly ready, I dressed in slimming black slacks and a low cut blouse the color of rich champagne. "Fabulous," Bryn assured me. She put the finishing touches on dinner and with a wink for luck, dashed out the door before Daniel could arrive.
Ten minutes later he was there, standing before me with a bottle of red wine. His blonde hair shone in the porch light like gold in the sun. His piercing blue eyes glittered with happiness as I ushered him in, and he made himself busy by helping me put the food on the table. "I thought Bryn was joining us," he said.
"She was," I replied, "but something came up at the office that couldn't wait." I could feel his stare even though my back was turned. I glanced at him and he had one eyebrow raised, as though he'd detected the lie. I didn't elaborate, but continued to get things ready to eat.
Soon we were eating the pasta and laughing as always. There was no opening in our conversation for revealing my secret. So I waited until we were seated on the sofa, wine in hand and the dishes done.
"Daniel, how long have we been friends?" I nervously ventured.
"Around 6 years, I think," he answered. "We sure have had some great times haven't we? All of us have." He was making reference to the gang of 8 of us.
"Yes, we have." I told him. I cleared my throat, feeling warm. Was it the wine, or just my nerves? "I have to be honest with you about something now." I shifted myself on the couch, trying to stay calm. I looked into his eyes and took a deep breath. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
There. It was out. The words falling on air reminded me of snowflakes drifting into a silent winter night. Daniel didn't say a word. He looked at me, a small smile playing at his lips. He moved closer to me, and I could smell his signature cologne, the same scent he'd worn for as long as I could remember. The spicy smell had me intoxicated almost as much as the wine.