Second Chances Ch 05 1

I saw her car pull up at the arrivals pick up lane just as I walked out of the terminal. Cell phones make getting picked up at the airports so much easier, especially after 911.

I tossed my bags in the back seat and jumped in my sister-in-law's car. "Terry, thanks for picking me up at the airport and letting me hang out till Jerry gets off of work."

"No problem Sandy, I took the day off and the kids are at my mother's house for the afternoon. She doesn't get to see them as often as she'd like. I thought we could have an afternoon off and catch up. Your brother has been busy as heck working, and the past year of your moving and your ... troubles? Well, that's taken a toll on everybody. An afternoon sitting and visiting without anybody around was mighty tempting."

"Yea, those first couple of months alone in Portland at a new job and then Jerry shows up at work that day. I'm still having a hard time with my brother getting Jerry to pay me a visit. He could have taken my stuff from him and we'd both have new lives." Then I heard a little chuckle out of Terry.

"Ok Terry, what gives? You know something."

"Sandy, I figure out that you'd learn about this sooner or later, but your brother was busy."

"What do you mean? They both told me that they had met a couple of times and Jerry said that he didn't know where I was at until Dave told him. There's more I don't know about?"

"Sandy, you know your big brother? Don't you?" I nodded yes. He's six years older and looked out after me ever since dad died when I was three and he was nine. "Remember during that month when you were getting the job and setting up your new life? Why do you think that Dave would occasionally send you an email or a phone call when something was happening on the Web-cam in your bedroom?"

"I thought that he was a bit of a voyeur. It was a free show. He's a guy."

"Well, there's more to it than that. Dave was very familiar with a situation like that. He knew what it felt like to be found out seeing two different..."

"You mean that you and him and...?"

"Yep. Except there were no cheap webcams in those days. We weren't married, but we were supposed to be exclusive. We weren't living together yet, but a friend of mine saw him at a place he wasn't supposed to be at, with somebody else. The next time during non-work hours when he was supposed to be someplace else, I was there first. He didn't arrive alone. It was somebody from his work. After all was said and done, she went on to find a richer daddy, one conquest at a time. Kept trading up."

I looked at Terry with real sorrow. "It must have been difficult for you. What did you do to that jerk of my brother?"

She immediately started to laugh. "We were apart for about 2 months when he pulled up to my apartment one weeknight. Like Jerry, he owned everything that he did. Dave explained what he did, what he did wrong and why he did wrong. And he sincerely apologized. An honest apology. He didn't pull any punches. He still doesn't when it's about him. Everybody else, he cuts some slack.

"He apologized to me from the bottom of his heart. He didn't ask to get back together. He said that he understood that he could no longer be trusted, and that I needed someone in my life that I could depend on. The fact is, I knew he was telling me the truth. He really can't lie. I was feeling funny when he began that affair. Always trust your gut."

"Why did you get back together? I know Mr. Resolute well enough. Changing his mind? How?"

"We both ended up working in Beechwood, within 10 minutes of where Jerry's condo is at. We'd sometimes run into each other at lunch. It was uncomfortable at first, but we started talking again.

"He changed, he changed a lot more after your grandfather then your mother died. He became serious about life. One day he asked me out to a movie. He was so desperate, it was a chick-flick. You know him. He can't stand them. I knew that he was serious then.

"We worked many things out. Lots of work. I finally got to the point where I did trust him. I remember a couple of times he went out after work with his staff, and half the staff didn't make it. The other half were young unattached women who were pretty free with themselves. These were empowered young newly graduated women, and very independent. These programmers wanted to taste life. Sometimes not knowing enough that there are married and attached people that should be off limits to tasting. He'd get me on the phone begging me to show up to save him.

"I've trusted him ever since. The other thing we both learned is to work hard to keep us alive. It's harder than I ever thought it would be. Work, family, school, kids... everything gets in the way. Automatic pilot keeps you going, going to hell in a hand basket that is. Keeping it alive and fresh, supporting one another. That's the real cost of a good marriage. As far as I'm concerned, it's worth every bit of my being.

"Before, you were wondering about why your brother monitored the webcam? He kept looking for something. Why it was happening? What Jerry felt about you? Who he really was? After the kids were in bed, Dave would bring up clips that showed Jerry being unsure, angry, sad, withdrawn with Diana around and when she was not there.

"I think he saw part of himself in Jerry. The real kicker was after your last dinner. Did you know that Jerry sat on the bed and cried the rest of the night? He only called Diana the next day because he didn't want to be alone. She was the one who pushed him toward the bed. If you saw the clip, she was the only one in partial undress. He wasn't interested.

"It was about three weeks later when Dave got the first phone call from Jerry. He wanted to return the important things you left. Dave knew what the ring, the beanie babies and the photo album meant to you. Dave saw a broken man, like Dave had been. He also knows you too. At the least, there needed some closure for both of you.

"All those things Jerry said to you came from Jerry, not Dave. I was at the house a few times he was over and overheard. Not eves dropping, but overhearing while doing my normal things around the house, cleaning, children, laundry, cleaning. Did I mention cleaning?" We both chuckled. Dave is as messy as I am. She continued, "Dave would listen, ask a question once in a while, and listen more. You got Jerry from Jerry, the real thing. He wasn't fed on what to say.

"I had no part of this except to keep my mouth shut. Remember, I have to support my husband especially after I told him that if it blew up in his face, it was going to be years of him eating double servings of humble pie from you.

"Sandy, I knew he was right about closure. I didn't have that with your brother, and it did a number to me. Could I have lived without it? People do all the time. It's just better having it."

"Terry, I could say that I feel played, but that's not right. I never knew that about your and Dave's troubles, or the whole story about Jerry and Dave."

"We're pulling into the driveway in a minute. How about opening up a bottle of wine and we can continue this while nobody else is around. I'd say the same thing if either of them were here, but I'd be checking my words more carefully before they left my mouth. We've never had to do that with each other these years."

Ten minutes later, Terry and I sat on her back deck with half a glass of merlot. The first half went down very fast. The wine and the conversation continued for an hour. Getting the quiet time to talk with my sister-in-law about her or me, my brother or Jerry or the kids was great. Looking at the trees and the grass and feeling a warm breeze, I started to realize that it's more than half way through my second or is it my third glass on an empty stomach. "Could you get something to counteract this wine? I don't want to be real woozy when Jerry shows."

"And why not? When was the last time you were woozy and he wasn't? That'll be ripe for him to take advantage of you."

That was a bit shocking and I knew it registered in my face. "Sandy, don't worry." She chuckled. "I'll get something in a minute, but think about that till I get back." She went into the kitchen, a little unsteady herself. She used the handrail for additional balance.

Take advantage of me? Why would...then it struck me. Jerry's been out to Portland four times since my procedure. We've gone over the whys of what went wrong between us. I remembered him saying that things had gotten routine. It was something that we said that we needed to work on. We've seen each other every three weeks but didn't leave much time to do that. Mostly, our love making has not been very different. It continued to be good though. It happened much more often than when we were together before, but not different. By this time, Terry had come back with a tray of crackers and some cheese.

"Terry, I'm sorry but I have to ask. Was it the same for you two? Getting into a routine? Was that part of it or am I just attempting to justify something?"

She nodded. "I personally think that it's both. You guys were climbing the corporate ladder and the last thing that you thought of was keeping it alive. You and Jerry have to find a way to keep it interesting. Whatever you both define as interesting." She chuckled a little bit after saying the last interesting.

I popped in several crackers, one after another to sop up the extra alcohol. Then I thought about it. Maybe tonight? Maybe I can start on him on the way home? He'd never know it was coming.

We were sitting in the back yard for several hours talking and drinking wine. But now, we were slowly sipping instead of quickly drinking it. We kept a pleasant buzz going. It's good to let your hair down once in a while. The 50 hour work weeks in hi-tech are draining.

Dave came home at 5:30 and Jerry showed at 6:15. Dave saw that we were feeling little pain and since he didn't have to drive until 8, had a glass of wine with us.

When Jerry showed, he was presented with two loud women and a man who was trying unsuccessfully to shush them. We women were having a great time. I got up and hugged Jerry tight, we kissed, and I then I playfully goosed his ass. He was a bit flustered but I smiled at him and whispered into his ear, "We can take a cab home tonight if need be. Relax, take it easy if you want, we both deserve it lover."

"Sandy, how long have you ..." when he realized that it was going to be a rhetorical question. "I was going to ask you what you wanted to do this evening, but I see you've already started with your sister-in-law. Is that your second or third bottle?" I held up my left hand with two and a half fingers while Terry held up four, and we giggled when we compared our numbers. He shook his head in mock disbelief.

He saw our condition, I'm sure that he didn't want to have to keep us from walking into things if we went out to eat as we planned. "How about me ordering Thai take out for the four of us? I know that they deliver." Terry and I nodded, Dave just shook his head in polite resignation. He and Terry rarely had the time to get a bit tipsy. There was so much to do with work, kids and the house for him to not let his partner-in-life safely ease out in the warm air and a couple of bottles of wine with her sister-in-law.

Jerry sat down, pulled out his phone and placed an order for delivery. That's when I handed him a glass of wine.

I whispered into his ear, "Honestly, I'm not as drunk as you might think. I've missed you and we did talk about things being to routine, haven't we?" He nodded yes when I continued "So when we get to the condo, let's try something different." At that I put my tongue into his ear and he jumped, but with a smile. "The safe word is Yukon." His body actually jolted when I said safe word. We've never talked about anything that needed a safe word.

He looked at me with a bit of shock in his face while I nodded yes. His body relaxed when he knew it was for real. I'm going to find out something about him tonight, and me too.

Dinner was pleasant and warm between the four of us. All of us had not been together in about a year. There was much to catch up on. During this time, I'd cast a few glances at Terry. I noticed that she was teasing my brother when she thought no one was looking. I didn't do that very often with Jerry. I never thought about it. Being driven for success shouldn't mean leaving everybody in the dust, does it?

When Dave and Terry went back into the house with the plates and to get another bottle of wine, I pulled Jerry over and landed a big sloppy kiss on him. By now, he was a little bit more mellow and kissed back. When those two returned, Dave accidently dropped a fork, and everybody looked where it clanged to. That's when I felt somebody cup my left breast and squeeze gently. I jumped and stared back at Jerry. He was looking at the sky like nothing had happened. Then he gave me a 'Who me?' kind of look. Nice to know he's in on the plan.

We continued talking for another half hour, and it was getting late for those two. The kids needed picking up. Dave, who only had two glasses of wine all evening, had more than sobered up enough to pick up the kids. I looked at Jerry and he nodded. "It's time for us to get back to the condo. Thanks for picking up Sandy and a lovely evening." I gave goodbye hugs and we left.

As he pulled out of the driveway, I said "Jerry, the night is very young to get home right away. Could we stop off at The Pub in Beechwood? We haven't been there for a long time." Then I reached for his knee and slid my hand along his inner thigh, "And I think that this will wait a little bit, won't it?"

"You drive a hard bargain. But you're right. It'll be nice to go there for a drink or two alone."

Walking into the pub, I told Jerry to find a place, I had something to take care of. I went into the washroom and straightened up my hair and makeup. A refresher of perfume, lipstick, unbuttoning the top two buttons of my blouse and I was ready.

Walking into the room, I saw he was at a table with two bar stools. It was beyond the far end of the bar. The place was pretty crowded, but it was a Friday night after all. I made it look like I looking for somebody, and caught the eyes of a few men along the way. There were a couple of empty chairs open along the way, and I was invited to sit at one or two of those tables.

Jerry was a bit concerned as he had gotten my eye, but I didn't pay that much attention to him after that. When I got closer, I make hard eye contact and then let him draw me in. I finally arrived and the time was now. "Excuse me, is this chair taken? It's pretty crowded here and you don't appear to be holding this for any one now." In the cheesiest way I could, I batted my eyes. "Hi, my name is Eva, but my friends call me Eve." I held out my hand to shake his.

He got a very confused look on his face until it finally clicked. Gently holding my hand he said, "Please sit down Eve, my name's Adam. May I get you a drink?"

"Oh thank you, that would be wonderful. A merlot or a cab if you please."

"I haven't seen you here before. Are you new in town?"

"Oh yes and no. I lived here years ago and was supposed to meet a few of my girlfriends from college. Several of them did warn me that they might be very late. It all depended upon a deadline at their work. I'm a half hour late myself, so I don't think that they'll be here."

"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do?"

"Oh, I teach mechanics."

"High school? Trade school? It must be very interesting."

"Actually quantum mechanics. I'm at MIT. I teach in their graduate program."

"I'm very impressed. I've always had a question about that." Looking at me he paused, "Where do you find the spare parts for the quantums?" Then he stifled a chuckle.

Not to be outdone, I came back with, "We can buy them on-line now. Amazon recently had a special on quarks. And the god particle, it's two for one if we order before Tuesday." Then we both busted out laughing.

"Adam, I think that it's so funny that most people don't know the original name of the god particle. It was actually called 'that god-damned particle'. Who says physicists don't have a sense of humor."

"I'm sorry Eve, I've been in heavy technical fields too and the humor is always lacking, nerdy or very cerebral. You have to take it where ever it pops up. But seriously, how did you get into that field? The competition has to be astounding."

"Oh, I was a math major in college and one thing led to another. Adam, what do you do?"

"It's more of what I haven't done. I also was a math major until the higher level math wore me out. As you know, at a certain level, you just can't get your head around it, or want to. I realized that I didn't want to even though I could still go on.

"Got a Masters in it before I decided to call it quits on that front. Great set of skills though. I worked in the financial markets for a while. Created models for buying and selling. Was pretty successful for a couple of years until I realized that I didn't want to do that anymore and left. About 6 months later, the first of many crashes hit and I'd had seen enough to never want to return. I signed on to go to Saudi Arabia to work in logistics for a defense company for a couple of months." At this point he sighed, "And now I'm a middle manager in a bank. But please don't judge me on that." He cleared his throat and took a sip of his bourbon, "My passion is art and photography. That's what makes me come alive, the creativity of saying things with photos.

"What makes you come alive Eve?"

"My work does a bit of that. The research is amazing, but like you, it's not my whole life. I also like art. Not so much modern art, although that has its place and time. I love Italian, French and Flemish art from 1450 till 1650.

"I've been to Europe a couple of times and toured the great and not so great museums. Spellbinding at times. I was 12 inches from a Caravaggio once. Spent over an hour studying it. It was wonderful."

"You actually studied his brushwork? Wasn't it amazing? The texture along with his colors and subject. Shame he died so young, but then again, he was a rascal. His religious paintings spoke to people where the older Renaissance style didn't. You are one lucky woman to have studied it so closely."

This was getting real different. Jerry and I never spoke about art before. He knew that we both had math backgrounds and I had a physics minor undergrad. He played along with that. But knowledge of Caravaggio? Wow.

"Adam, I've never known anyone who knew about Caravaggio except that it was a name in art history books."

"Well, it's one of the things I'm familiar with. It's more photography that excites me. I don't have the skills for drawing. I wish I did.

"It's another thing with film. Ansell Adams and his black and white prints developed in specific gradations." He paused, searching for the right word. "I'm sorry, I'm not explaining it well. He.."

"Adam, what's your work like? What to you take pictures of?"

"I love taking pictures, but I don't feel that my work is anything more than OK. I've done some beautiful sunsets in the winter. I sometimes position myself to catch the moon over Lake Erie. I've done the silly things too. But the things I'm most proud of are taking pictures of some people I know. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to pull their inner self out without them knowing it. Pictures not set, not staged, but their inner being flows from the picture. It takes a lot of pictures to pull that one that says it all."

"Adam, that sounds so beautiful. That's real art. Art that speaks to people. I personally think that much of modern art is like a Rorschach test. You know, ink blots, two bears dancing, that sort of stuff. It's what the beholder interprets it as. What they project on to it. Campbell soup cans is somebody's idea of art. It's just not my style.