Second Chances

It was 1:40 PM at work and I got called to the front desk. I had a visitor and a 2 PM meeting. I'm a little ticked off, more than a little ticked off. A meeting in 15 minutes and I don't have time for anything right now. I got to the front desk and stopped in my tracks. It's Jerry. I walked up to him slowly. I am now more than just pissed about being late for a meeting. "What are you doing here Jerry? We didn't exactly part on great terms."

He's standing there with a strained, pained look on his face. All I could think was payback. "When you righteously left me, you left a few things behind. I know that these things were important to you and I got in contact with your brother. I can fully understand that you are not pleased to see me. But give me a minute, there is someone who can help." At this point he pulled out his phone and hit a button. Looking at me he says into the phone, "Yes, here she is. I was correct, you were wrong." And he handed the phone to me. The contact name and phone number was my brother.

"Dave, what the heck are you doing to me? I thought you understood? This isn't OK with me."

"Sandy, before you go any further, let me tell you a few things. He found something of yours that you left behind. Something very important. He tried to give it to me, but he slipped that he was going to Portland for work and a conference. He didn't know you were there. We've spend a couple of evenings together.

"Sis, you have to trust me now. I know you need closure, so does he. I had to talk him into seeing you. He didn't want to bother you at all. Blame this all on me, but trust me on this one. Would I steer you wrong?"

"You know that I really hate it when you make decisions for me. You know that." At this point I paused and looked at Jerry. He's not looking confident. He actually looked like he wanted to bolt out the door. Back on the phone for both Jerry and my brother Dave to hear, "Ok, for this once. It just better be good. I'll call later and ream you out royally. You won't be able to sit for a week. Bye." At his point Jerry looked a bit relieved.

I gave the phone back to Jerry. "What is this great thing that I left behind?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. "I knew that this was something that you would never leave behind. I tried to give it to your brother, but he refused and then talked me into seeing you and giving it to you personally. He opened the envelope. My mother's wedding band came out.

"Oh my, I thought that it was hidden in my jewelry box. I didn't know it was gone." The shock of seeing it, realizing that I may have lost it forever. Tears started to roll out of my eyes. Mom died when I was 18, and the world was never the same for me after that. I always held on to the ring as a symbol of her love for me. Without thinking, I grabbed him and hugged him for all I'm worth. He froze and I pulled back immediately. I crossed a line, but he was right, this was very important for me.

"Thank you, thank you so much for bringing this back to me. I don't know what to say." I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Sandy, actually, there is a favor I'd like to ask of you." He paused, "And feel free to decline. I'll understand." He paused again. "I'd like to take you out to dinner. Just dinner, that's all. I have three things I'd like to talk about with you. One is returning some of the other things that you left behind, another is to apologize and the third is to thank you."

"Look Jerry, I have a meeting in 5 minutes. I don't know." I looked at his face and held the ring tight, I made up my mind. "What hotel are you staying at?"

"The downtown Hilton."

"I'll meet you at the Bistro 921 restaurant at 8PM. I have to get to my meeting now."

"I'll see you there. Thanks Sandy."

I went home after work to freshen up and check my jewelry box. I was sure that the ring was always in the hidden compartment I made in the bottom of the box. Sure enough, the false bottom wasn't put back the way I always did. The inscribed diamond and platinum pendent that Jerry gave me was missing along with another necklace that he gave me. He liked to buy me custom jewelry and I liked his taste.

I changed into an evening dress. Not sexy, but elegant. I'll be with him to talk with him, not bed him. If he's going to see me, I want him to see what he threw away.

I ubered a cab. Could have taken the Metro, but I didn't want to put up with the crowds. I walked into the Bistro 921 Bar at 7:30 to find him already there. He was sitting where he could see everyone approaching the restaurant.

Jerry walked up to me with a smile on his face. "Sandy, thanks for agreeing to see me. May I order you something from the bar? The table won't be ready for another 15 minutes at the earliest."

"I'll take a glass of a local Oregon cabernet if you please. I'm a local now."

He flagged the waitress and the wine appeared with a minimum wait. From his past I knew that he has already tipped her quite well.

"So, what conference are you attending in Portland? It's a long way from Cleveland and Shaker Heights."

"After I stopped being stupid, I decided to get back to work on my career. I've sort of switched fields. Instead of just being an accountant with a new CPA, I've taken my knowledge of Oracle's latest accounting system of the past several years and moved into forensic Accounting. I found out that when I look for things, I can see them where not many others can."

"Jerry, is that a straight line for me?" And we both start laughing. Jerry was notorious for not being able to find anything at the condo if it was out of sight. Put something under a piece of paper and if he couldn't see it, he couldn't find it.

"Guilty as charged. But on the other hand, when it comes to Accounting and a job, it's different. I was on an audit last month and found that I would occasionally encounter random problem transactions in the system. I'd ask a question, get a logical explanation and move on. Something didn't feel right. So I went back at night when the Accountants weren't there. With a DBA from the Accounting practice I found that a staff accountant was moving things around. The problem I would find would show him where I was at, and he'd move things 'behind that' so I wouldn't find it. He was pulling out about $150K a year, maybe more."

"Accounting practice? You're no longer with...?"

"Oh, you don't know what happened after you left." He began to smile and relaxed a bit. "Your brilliant and ethical detective work was great. By contacting the spouses involved, there was a divorce and two firings. More upheaval than that sleepy accounting department ever had. I was the only one in the clear. And I decided to leave anyway.

"Don was let go and his wife divorced him. It appears that this wasn't the first time he was stepping out of his marriage. His wife had been prepared for a while. Jason on the other hand was in the doghouse with Loretta and also had to find a new job. Work gave him some time to do that. His activities were done on company time, otherwise, they couldn't do anything about it. Diana threatening to file suit for sexual harassment saying that Don coerced her into sex. She's still there and everybody's afraid of her. They can't find grounds to dismiss her and..." the waitress appeared and let us know the table was ready. We grabbed our drinks and followed her.

We were seated at a table where it was a bit quiet and farther away from most of the other diners. I could see that he wanted some privacy to talk with me. I put my mother's ring on after he gave it to me and spent these hours away from him thinking about what happened before between us, and what was happening now. That's the thing about being an analyst, you think about if or how things work, or don't.

I love it when the wait staff try their best to start a relationship with you. You can get the feeling if they are real or it's the routine. In this case, Jerry addressed the waiter by his name first and asked if we could have a couple of minutes to settle. This was not the Jerry I knew. This Jerry was not taking a back seat, not letting me take the lead. "Ok, you've eaten here before. After all, this is your hotel."

"This is my 3rd night here. I had to entertain several clients the past two days and became very well known by the staff here. It's actually a pretty good place. The clients on the other hand were a bit loud and we ended up spending the rest of the evening in the bar. I worked it out with the servers that my first drink was real, the rest were not, but looked real. I told them to charge me full price. I didn't want to lose my head on anything. Some of the clients needed help to their rooms later. Good and legal way to keep them clients."

"Ok Jerry, what do you suggest?" and he rattled off a meal that he knew that I'd like. That said something about him. He asked if I would like another glass of wine or something non-alcoholic, saying he was concerned that I get home safely and up for work the next day. I didn't tell him that I had the next day off. Had a scheduled doctor's appointment to go to and I needed the time away from work.

We talked about our jobs. I filled him in on what this Big Data project I was working on, how Portland was and it really is, but isn't Portlandia. Without saying those words, he filled me on how he was taking control of his life. All in all it was a pleasant dinner with pleasant conversation.

Desert was next and he asked me what, if any I wanted. He knew that I fought my weight my entire life, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. Lately, the stress of moving and a new job, I was not winning. I shook my head no and he asked "How about coffee then? The decaf espresso is not bad here, it tastes like they use Italian brands, not local ones. I've always noticed the differences since you clued me in on that." I agreed.

After it was served, he cleared his throat and looked at the table top, then at me. "As I said earlier today, there are three things I wanted to talk with you about. Upstairs, I have a box of things you left behind, including the infamous Pi box your brother built you." At that he nervously chuckled a bit.

"The other things were for me to apologize to you. I am sorry that I didn't treat you right. We were starting to drift from our work schedules, and I lost sight of you. I was seduced."

I started to frown, but he continued. "No one can be seduced without their consent. In the end I chose to be unfaithful to you. Four times I was unfaithful before I fully realized what I was doing. What I did was outright wrong, stupid of me, mean and nasty and so God damn dishonest that I will be ashamed of myself for the rest of my life." I was shocked over his language, and his ownership of his actions. I never heard profanity from him before, well, not in English anyway. I was also hearing an honesty from him. He continued. "You didn't deserve that behavior from me. I am so sorry for what I did to you. It was nothing that you deserved. I was a fucking idiot. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart."

This was a third shock, I never heard vulgarity from him in all our time together, unless it was him severely stubbing his toe on the bed frame in the middle of the night. It was not who he was. He wasn't a goody two shoes or a prude, but he was refined and caring, and a little bit dense at times. If he was angry, he used different, descriptive terms, colorful terms, creative terms, Polish or even Classical Latin terms. But he was never profane or obscene. I knew he was very serious now about all he was saying.

"I can explain what happened, but it does not excuse any of my behavior." He took a sip of wine and looked directly into my eyes. "As a couple, we were struggling. You were jetting off to client sites. And then staying there for a week or two at a time. I was learning the ins and out of the accounting package and studying for the CPA exams.

"It felt a bit lonely and instead of talking with you about it, I allowed myself to be seduced. I allowed it to happen. I was active in it. No one else to blame. No one can be seduced without their own consent." He paused and took a sip of wine. "There will always be temptations in life, I failed this one, big time." At that he began to quietly stifle a sob. When he realized what he was doing, he broke away from it, embarrassed.

"The other part of what I want to say to you is thank you. Thank you for the gift of those two years. I've looked back at it these past several months and realized all the good things we had, that we were. I am sorry for betraying your trust and destroying a good thing."

He paused, and then continued. "And thank you for your parting gift, your goodbye message." At that he began to smile. "You showed me who that other person was. You showed me that I was unfaithful, I cheated with somebody that was using me for her own purposes. You didn't have to do that. You are a far better person than I ever was. Thank you."

"Jerry, don't sell yourself short. As you know, my brother recorded your extracurricular sessions on our bed. I didn't want to see them, and generally didn't. But he brought a couple to my attention.

"I don't know if you remember this, but there was a time when Diana was dissing me, dissing me real good. You put a stop to it and ended your, your, errr, session with her. You never saw this, but when your back was turned, she flipped you a double bird with such hate on her face. Then two days later, your boss Dan was there during lunch. That was followed a day later by Jason on the bed with her. You should have heard her dissing the partners of who she was with. Do you remember your boss sending you out of town unexpectedly to do that audit for a week? He was laughing about it, thought he got away with everything."

"You know Sandy, I never gave her a key. I had the locks changed as soon as I saw your goodbye video. That video was pretty good. She was actually speechless, especially when the wives were calling her at work and on her cell, at all hours.

"I'm a chump, aren't I?" I nodded yes, but even I could feel the sadness on my face. He was a chump sometimes, but he's not a nasty or mean person. He trusted more than he should. "You did a great job Sandy. You exposed me and her and her other partners. Did you know I got an earful from both of the wives? When they found out that it was happening under my nose, they cut me some slack. They both still called me stupid and a couple more unmentionable things too. I deserved it. You know, what we all did with that woman was wrong, nothing less than that. I'm sorry I did that to you." He took a sip of his espresso. After waiting a minute he asked, "By the way, were you missing any valuables?"

"Now that you mention it, the diamond pendent you gave me is gone and that other necklace you gave to me too. The bottom of my jewelry box was disturbed. I checked it after work when I got home."

"Sandy, I was the one that took the ring from your box a couple of months ago. I put the false bottom back the exact way you showed me to. I had some plans for it then and wanted to... well never mind that. At least it was in safe hands and it's been returned to its rightful owner. Whatever else may be missing, please let me know and I'll replace it or reimburse you for it if I can't find a replacement. I was responsible for what happened and I need to make it as right as possible."

"When I was packing my stuff up that morning, I saw the spare key missing from the key ring in the closet. You may have been dishonest with me, but you retained something, something good. You may not have respected our relationship, but you did respect me. That sounds kind of funny now that I think about it. Anyway, I felt that I had to at least give you a running chance with her."

It was my turn now. "Jerry, I've been angry with you for quite a while. At first I was hurt, but I also realized that we were drifting. I was feeling trapped in my job and being a road warrior was only appealing for so many months for me. I realized that I was not cut out for that kind of life. I had to cut you some slack. You were trapped like me too." That's when I looked at the table then into his eyes, "I also have to take responsibility for the relationship stagnating. We weren't very good together, our jobs were always more important than us." That thought hung over us in silence for a couple of long minutes.

"Sandy, it appears that it's getting late and I don't want you to be wiped out for work tomorrow." I nodded yes, but something inside of me didn't want this evening to be over quite yet. We were talking, honestly and openly. We hadn't done that when we lived together in Ohio for quite a while.

"I thought that you had a package for me and I don't see it anywhere."

"Oh, wait right here, I'll get it from my room and bring it right down."

"No problem. Is your room that messy that you don't want me to see it?"

"Well, no, I thought that..."

"I'd like to continue talking with you. I have a doctor's appointment at 10 tomorrow, so I don't have to get into work at all. I can afford some more time with you if you want." I stopped, looking at his eyes. "And I'll pull a cab home tonight."

There was a big smile on his face when he nodded and signaled the waitress for the bill. I excused myself and visited the ladies room and then met him at the elevators. We were both nervous on the ride up. I didn't have any horizontal plans for the evening and I hoped that he heard that. I hoped he also didn't have any plans like that either.

Upon entering his room, he suggested the mini-bar for a drink, asking that I put something together. He went into the bedroom and returned carrying a box that once contained a case of copier paper. It didn't look that heavy now.

After he put the box down at his feet, I handed him a local craft beer. I know that this was going to pricy, but it has to be on his expense account. I grabbed a merlot and sat down across from him on the couch.

With a little bit of flourish, Jerry opened the box, shielding my eyes from the contents. He was always playful with me. This evening was bringing back many of the good things we had before it all turned sour, then putrid.

Out came the first beanie baby, Ziggy the Zebra followed by Pinky the Flamingo, Dot the ladybug and ending with Slither the Snake. All I could do is laugh. "You do realize you're bringing my childhood back to me? These were my friends for years. I never really played with them, but I had them stationed in my room while I was growing up, overlooking me and my world. I looked at them all the time. I forgot I put them in the back of the closet." That's when he pulled out my beat up Fido and had Fido 'slobber' all over me before he released him to me.

It's been lonely here these couple of months. New job, new town, trying to make new friends. I've started, but there is no one like somebody who knows you well to make you feel completely at ease. Someone you don't have to explain yourself to. His playfulness made me realize that this new life was harder on me than I thought.

With a sly smile, he saw my anticipation when out popped two of my special coffee mugs. The first one was from my mother when I graduated high school. It was the last gift from my mother before she passed. In Italy, they don't say someone passed. They say that the person is missing. My mom is missing.

He passed me the second mug, it was from Jerry. It took him $30 at a carnival shooting gallery to get it for me. I laughed at him when he was doing it. I also laughed with him the entire time. That was so magical then.

I was starting to get the feeling that things were going to be less playful now, and I was right. The next thing out was my photo album. The early pictures were of me growing up, and the later ones were of Jerry and me. He didn't try to make this playful, but he opened it up to the great times I had growing up. He knew all about it from before. He also skirted the pictures of the difficult times.