Sapphbroo Farm

It was only Wednesday and I was already exhausted, and sitting on the bus home from working was helping much. The constant jostle from the pothole-filled roads and the monotonous view of bland concrete box buildings didn't much improve my mood. Thus, on an impulsive decision, a decision that was becoming more and more common, I got off the bus a few stops early and made my way to my bar of choice. Found by searching "Bar near me" and going with the first result which had since then been my choice by habit.

The inside looked the same as always, and as I never paid much attention to the other patrons, the current herd didn't seem out of the ordinary. As had become my pattern, I found a seat that was decently separated from the others and ordered a cider before entertaining myself by scrolling my phone. I knew I could drink and doom scroll at home, and often did, but it felt somehow less depressing to so here. An adventure compared to my normal and very socially isolated routine, even though this activity itself was slipping into just another lonely component of my life's pattern.

That is why when a woman took a seat just a couple from me, I inwardly cringed, feeling like she was infringing upon my own little bubble. Outwardly I just kept scrolling, maybe hunching over a bit more. Thus, when the woman addressed me, it was something I had excepted and braced for, while at the same time it was a blindsiding surprise. Instinctively I turned to look at her.

Looking at her fully now, she clearly stood out from the rest of the bar, notably much better dressed than the rest of the place, especially compared to me. She wore a crisp white collared blouse and well-tailor pants that hugged her figure perfectly. Draped over the back of her chair was one of those country coat with the subtle plaid to it. Most distinct of all, though, was that her clothes still looked like they had life in them. Not drained and wrinkled by a day's stress and the drudgery of work that clearly had taken its toll on the attire of all the other patrons. Their obviously expense probably helped with that, but I still felt that she wasn't here for the same reason as everyone else.

With these thoughts being the only ones running through my head, my outward reaction was to just stare at her with a blank expression. After several seconds of my odd response but clear attention, the woman repeated her question,

"Rough day for you too?"

This helped my brain reboot enough to respond, "Um, yeah, I guess, work you know."

I said this with a shrug before looking back to my phone, only to quickly look back up at her. I didn't really want to have a bar chat with a stranger, no matter how romanticized they were shown to be in movies. Moreover I didn't wanted to share misery with someone whose definition of a bad day was probably that her stocks performed 1.5% below expected. But I also didn't want to be rude. Having already answered I damn well couldn't just go back to pretending I hadn't noticed her beyond my phone. This left me in a dilemma, which again resulted in my awkward silence. Somewhat to my luck and continued social strain she once again broke,

"And here I am making it worse by blundering my way into a conversation. Let me start properly. My name is Catherine Hearthwood. What is yours?"

As she said this she leaned forward and extended her hand.

"Oh, um yeah I'm Jane." I replied before glancing at her outstretched hand, then back at her admittedly earnest looking face. Crumbling to social pressure, I put down my phone and extending my hand to shake hers. Upon retracting hands, our differences couldn't have been more apparent. Catherine neatly and politely folding her hands in front of her on the table while I tucked mine back into myself.

Catherine continued, "Good to meet you Jane. Now, what has got you down? I am more than happy to lend a sympathetic ear."

"Uhhh... work, you know..." I stutter, pausing as I tried to think of anything more than bland and boring platitudes, "It just kind of soul sucking, that I sit inside all day and am still exhausted by the end."

"So you come here to give your mind a break while working out your liver?" she said with a smile. It was a really nice smile.

"No, no, this is rare for me. Normally I just go home to crash, I'm not a total drunk like the rest," cutting off abruptly, realizing what I had just said. I didn't even pay attention to who else came here. I might was well not insult them. Hunching over more, I peered around behind me. No one seemed to have cared. Expect Catherine, who, as I turned back, was fully grinning at my expense.

"Sorry, I didn't want to mean anything too harsh. I just worry; your figure is far too nice to be putrefied by alcohol."

"Umm, okay, thanks, I just didn't want to be rude you know." I said in a lower voice and another quick glance. "Today was more of a snap decision on the bus ride home."

And at this point, I began to wonder if my liver was really starting to do the talking, or if some other body part except my brain was, as I continued to ramble on,

"It just you know, when you think office job, you think of the big city, and getting to work in one of those towering buildings. Going to and fro in the hustle and bustle of the sidewalk or subway. But every job I looked at, all the places I could get into are all out here, in these office parks. Low grey concrete builds that all look identical. And all surrounded by either more concrete or the most boring landscaping you can think of. Lawn grass with copy pasted trees. It's like they designed it so it looks fine as you go zipping by in a car but didn't ever consider it would be someone view for0 an hour on the ride home"

Pausing to take a sip of my drink to quench my thirst after this sudden outburst of talking and animation. But after this brief pause, I continued,

"It's just I've been feeling really stuck lately, like I'm not even sure about the big city you know. Like I grew up with that as this aspirational goal, but how much better can it be? Like I would still be cooped up inside most of the day, and I've seen enough movies to know the hustle and bustle can suck too. And without that, and being stuck here, what am I doing?"

And this time when I paused, it was because I had run out of steam, and the my brain had caught up enough to feel embarrassed.

"Shit sorry, I didn't mean to suddenly dump my existential problems on you." I finished in a much quieter volume than before, looking now quite intensity at my drink. Re-deflating.

"Oh, not at all, I asked and you answered." Catherine intoned in a surprising compassionate voice. "It sounds to me like you are getting by. And I can say even driving through places like this aren't too conducive to enjoyment either."

At this, I looked over at her. She was leaning over quite a bit now towards me, lowering her body like you would when trying to coax a scared cat on the sidewalk the trust you.

"And why are you here anyway? Sorry for asking but you don't really dress like you fit in here." I asked.

Catherine looked down at her outfit, back at her country coat, and back at me, all the while building a small laugh before replying,

"Yes you are right, my work is typically out in the country which I far prefer. But I had some meetings I had to attend in the city that I could not get out of, and you can probably guess how they went. And of course like you said this

terrain

is not one to pick up one's mood."

She paused and looked away briefly before returning her eyes to me, though this time they lacked the genuine energy from before.

"So I decided to come in here, to... to try and lift my spirits through chatting. Though I am sorry that I directed our conversation into negative territory from the outset. How about this, what do you do for fun?"

"Um, jogging, I guess, but around here isn't great for running either, cars constantly going by, and cross walks to stop at. Shoot, sorry, I went right back to complaining."

"No, no, I get it. Where do you like to run?"

"Well growing up, my parents lived near by this kind of nature reserve that had trails all through it. I could jog there and just be able to relax out in nature."

"Oh that sounds lovely. Do you ever go back home to be able to run there?"

She said this with a smile and the genuine light had returned to her eyes but she couldn't have know what she said would mean.

"No, umm I kinda can't anymore. Umm, my parents died a couple years ago... in a car crash, so I don't really have a home to go home to when I need a break you know." I exhaled a breath, "There is a local park near here that I guess is nice..."

At this, Catherine moved seats so she was right beside me and gently placed a hand on my shoulder, then cutting off my deflective ramble,

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up for you."

Looking down I replied, "No, no, it's fine, it's more just not being able to go home. I was never super close with them and things got ever weirder when I told them I was a lesbian. Not like kick me out of the house, but more like they would talk to me different like they were not fully talking to me. But it wasn't unbearable, I would go back home periodically while I was at college when I needed a break, but then not long after starting work, they died, and I lost that escape hatch. A place to come up for air, even if trending water isn't the best"

During this, Catherine had started to rube my back where her hand had been resting before. With her other hand, she clasped my folded hands in an almost protective way. I probably ought to felt creeped out at this point. Some random and out-of-place woman had started chatting me up, and within a few minutes, I'm telling her my sad history while she caresses me. But I really didn't feel creeped out, it still felt a bit weird but I also felt a bit weird in every social interaction. Alongside this feeling I was also feeling a sense of release. I had never really talked about this with people. I would give the profanatory outline of having dead parents and not much other family with the main goal of avoiding people's awkward reactions to that fact. But with Catherine, it didn't feel like she was drowning me in sympathy or pulling back and trying to disengage. Maybe the lack of a negative reaction shouldn't be read as good, but I also just plainly found the comfort of her hands and caring gaze to be nice.

Into this Catherine said, "Now I might be completely over stepping but would you be interest in coming up to my farm for the weekend? It's quite nice and rural and has some great paths surround it. It just it sounds like you need a break and you don't have a place to go take one."

At this, I straighten and turned to look at her with skepticism, prompting Catherine to withdraw her hands. "You would really offer that, to some random person you just met? You barely even know me. I don't even know you."

"Yes, yes you are right. It's just how you talked made my heart really go out to you, and maybe this is the hangover of my poor meeting today, but I want to do at least something good today."

"But how would I even get there? You said it was out in the country right, I highly doubt any buses would get me even remotely close. And you can probably guess that I don't have a car."

"I am be more than happy to come down here to pick you up. I know I said driving here isn't my favourite be pretty soon we would be on the country roads which I at least find to be quite enjoyable so I wouldn't mind the drive."

"Ok, but now this just sounds like the set up for a kidnapping... sorry. But like you're a random woman who's now just offering to drive me some place I don't know. Hell I even admitted earlier that I don't really have family or friends that would miss me if I disappear!"

At this I flopped back down on the table burying my head in my arms, the outcome of this conversation fully coming down on me. I had come in here to be sad in an even lightly social manner and had failed so hard I set myself up for a kidnapping. I couldn't see Catherine, but I could hear her. Hearing as she went dead still to my dramatic reaction, then the soft nervous fidgeting of her hands on her glass. I probably total weirded her out. I couldn't even act reasonably right. But then after a minute or so of Catherine's nervous fidgeting she started speaking, she sounded far less confidence as she did before.

"I... I also need you. While what I said earlier about wanting to do good by someone today is still true, I also need help on the farm, that in part was what my meeting was about, a mandate to get more work done or I could lose my farm. And by the way you talked about our your work it doesn't sound very fulfilling so I thought maybe the direct work of a farm might help you get your spark going again."

Catherine paused before quickly following on, "And of course it wouldn't be all work, there would still be 'you' time you know, time to relax or run or whatever."

At this I turned my head to looked up. I saw Catherine slightly bowed and with an almost fearful expression on her face. "Why didn't you say this before?"

"Well I think to a good degree it was pride. I am a rather independent person, and to ask for help instead of offering it is outside my wheelhouse. I'm sorry, after you have been so open with me, to not reciprocate in kind. It was selfish."

"Um, no, it's okay, I kind of gave you a shitty overreaction too." I said as I raised myself out of my arm nest. "And well I would like a break... and as usual, I have nothing really planned for the weekend... and you do seem quite genuine... Fuck it I'll come!"

"Wonderful, and for what it's worth I promise I wouldn't hurt you." Catherine enthusiastically replied. Now more energize, she quickly pulled a business card out of her purse and handed it to me. "Here is my contact info so we can coordinate."

The card had her name, number and, email as promised, but what really caught my attention was a stylized horse head logo with the name 'Sapphbrook Farms' below in a beautiful flowing font. "Wait you have horses on your farm, I love horses!"

"Ah yes, they are our main livestock. I guess I should have lead with that." She said with a smile and small laugh.

We agreed that she would pick me up from this bar on Friday after work. I would spend two nights there, and then she should would drive me back for around late afternoon on Sunday. Once these logistics had been roughed out and I had grown more comfortable with her, we lapsed into the what was more traditional ground of a bar chat. I complained about the trivial annoyances of my job and Catherine told me some of the fun ins and outs of running a farm. Mostly all surface level stuff compared to my existential and social anxieties at the beginning. All the same the part of the conversation really endeared me to her. At one point she mentioned two other people, Rebecca and Izzy, who apparently work for her on the farm. I found this a bit surprising, that her workers were women given my mental stereotype of farmers as all buff men, but as the conversation flowed on I didn't think much more of it.

By the end, as we parted ways, I was really looking forward to this weekend. Not just the prospect of spending time in nature again, but for the opportunity of hanging out with Catherine again.