Author's Preface: Merry Christmas. This is one of my entries in the
Literotica Winter Holidays Story Contest 2024
.
Everyone in this story is eighteen years old or older. The story is entirely fictional. Any similarities to real people or events are purely coincidental. Constructive comments are always welcome.
Enjoy
Santa in Texas - Santa gets stopped for speeding
Santa was in Texas, and it was snowing. That wasn't unusual for the barren Panhandle of Texas. She stopped at the first house on her list and delivered the presents for the kids. As she flew out of the chimney, red and blue lights were flashing, upsetting the reindeer.
She walked over to calm them, and a cop yelled, "Freeze. Let me see your hands."
All she could see was a flashlight in her eyes. Slowly raising her hands, her short red skirt rose enough to show her tiny green panties. The cop lowered his flashlight beam down to the hem of her skirt.
"Put your hands down so I won't have to take you in for public indecency," he said.
She lowered her hands, and he looked her over. He didn't think she could be more than 20 years old. She was a pretty little thing with long blonde hair and a round face with cheeks like roses. Standing at about five foot two inches tall, she wore a heavy red low-cut button-up coat that barely contained her ample breasts and a skirt long enough to cover her green panties, if she didn't raise her hands. The whole outfit had white fur piping on the edges. Her slender legs were covered in red and white striped stockings that came to her upper thighs. Tall black lace-up boots with high heels covered her calves. On top of her head was a stocking cap with a fur tassel at the end.
The cop, who was in his early twenties, strutted over to the sleigh with his hand on his gun, and in an official voice said, "I need to see your driver's license, ma'am."
"I don't have a driver's license. I don't need one," Santa said.
"You need a license to operate a motor vehicle in the State of Texas, ma'am."
"Do you see a motor?"
The cop looked at the reindeer.
"OK, what's your name?"
"Don't you recognize me? I'm Santa Clause." He started to write it down but stopped. He wondered why all the nut jobs came out on holidays.
"You can't be Santa Clause, you're obviously a young woman and a sexy one at that. Everyone knows Santa is an old man with a big belly and a white beard."
"Typical assumptions from a man. For centuries, male writers led you to believe that only a man can be Santa. Strong women threaten their manhood. Do you really think I'm sexy?"
"Age?" he asked ignoring her.
"Your mother taught you not to ask a woman her age."
"I need it for the report."
"I'm thirty years old if you must know."
"No, you're not. No thirty-year-old woman looks as sexy as you do."
"Thank you, dear. We Clause's don't age as fast as you do. That's the second time you've said I was sexy."
He looked at her blue eyes and shook his head to clear his mind.
"Never mind that. Where do you live, Ma'am?"
"The North Pole."
"There are a lot of Russki stations at the North Pole. Are you one of those commies?"
"No, I give toys to all the good little boys and girls."
"So, you want to distribute the wealth."
"Well, yes. All good boys and girls should get presents on Christmas."
"Typical commie line. Where have you been tonight?"
"Russia, Korea, Japan, China, Europe, and now here."
"You sure get around. Where's your passport?"
"I don't need a passport."
Santa lit her pipe, and a curl of smoke rose. The cop grabbed it from her and sniffed it.
"What's in this pipe?"
"Oh, that's some high-grade Maui Wowie I picked up in Colorado. Would you like some?"
"Marijuana? That's not legal in Texas. I'm going to need you to step away from the...vehicle. What the hell is this thing anyway?"
"A sleigh."
"And those animals?"
"Reindeer."
"Have you got a wild animal permit?"
"No."
"That's going to be a hefty fine."
"Stand there and don't move."
The cop looked around at the sleigh. "This vehicle has no safety inspection sticker, no headlights or...wheels for that matter."
"It doesn't need a safety inspection sticker. I don't need headlights because of Rudolf, and sleighs don't have wheels."
"This vehicle is not registered; I can't even find a VIN. I'm pretty sure sleighs need to be registered."
"It's too old for that."
"How old?"
"It was handmade by my great-great-great-great-great grandmother over a thousand years ago."
"Likely story."
The cop poked around in the sleigh. "Let's see. A bong, well over two ounces of marijuana, flat-screen TVs, laptop computers, iPads, cell phones, assorted dolls, bicycles, scooters, sleds, puppies, kittens, and video games. Well, Ms. Clause, you've collected quite a few goods. Who do you fence it through?"
"Those are gifts."
"And that big bag of cookies? They're gifts too?"
"Well yes. They're gifts to me. The children leave them."
"So, you sneak into houses, take kid's cookies, and leave presents?"
"Yes. But only for the good boys and girls."
"And you don't take anything?"
"No."
"Except for those cookies," he reminded her.
"Sometimes they leave me a glass of milk, too. I'd get fat if I ate all the cookies, but the kids would be disappointed if they weren't gone. Would you like some cookies, Tommy?"
"That's Officer Tommy, I mean Davis, to you. How do you know my name?"
"I've been in your house every Christmas since you were born. You were a good boy. Do you remember the bike I got you when you were eight years old?"
"My dad got that for me even though I didn't see him that year. He left it under the Christmas tree."
"I'm sorry, Tommy. Your father was drunk and penniless that Christmas. I knew that you wanted a bike, so I brought you one. A little boy shouldn't think his father let him down over Christmas. He wanted to be there with you. Did you like the bell?"
"Yeah."
"You rang that bell until it finally broke, but you'd outgrown that bike by then. You gave the bike to a younger boy down the street on Christmas. You even bought him a new bell. That was a kind thing for you to do."
"He needed it, and it was too small for me; the bell didn't cost much," he said. "He didn't have a father."
Santa asked, "Do you remember four years ago when you brought that pretty girl Cynthia home on Christmas Eve? She wore a Christmas sweater and skirt. She was leaving for college and thought you were a very good boy all night long."
"How do you know that? Do you make a habit of peeping into people's windows? The judge will not like that."
"You two were so cute that I wanted to stay and watch, but I had to make my rounds." Santa smiled at him. "Have you kept up with Cynthia? I can tell you where she lives now. She doesn't have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?"
"You know where she lives?" Tommy asked with interest.
"I know where all the good boys and girls live."
He cleared his throat to sound serious and said, "Well, Ms. Clause, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Call me Santa, everyone does, and I have no idea how fast I was going."
"I don't either. My radar gun only goes up to 200 mph and you were going faster than that. The highest speed limit in Texas is eighty-five mph. Were you in some kind of race?"
"Well, a race against time."
"Street racing carries additional penalties."
"I wasn't on the street."
"Tell it to the judge."
"Put your hands against the vehicle and spread your legs. I need to frisk you." He gave her a very thorough frisking and since Santa was ticklish, she giggled the whole time. Nothing was under her outfit except a bra and those tiny green panties.
"My you're good at that Tommy. Did you find anything you liked?"
"I have to take you in."