I needed to escape. I needed to get out of the house. Things had been so hard lately and I couldn't take the restrictions that had been put in place anymore. I needed fresh air, no walls surrounding me. I got in the car and drove. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed out.
When I finally stopped the car, I looked around me to see where I had ended up. I knew this spot. I had been here before a couple of times with him but I wasn't going to see him today because of the restrictions. I knew it was a short walk along the road and down a path to the beach. It was a quiet spot. A place to think and feel free.
I climbed out of my car. The wind whipped at my hair. I hadn't thought about changing my clothes before I rushed out the door. I didn't think it would be so windy but I needed this time away for myself. I grabbed the picnic blanket from the back of my car and then headed down the road way.
It was late afternoon/early evening as I walked towards the path I knew was just ahead. The trees grew haphazardly at the entrance to the path and I ducked as I entered it. The path was two tracks side by side that lead down to the beach. It was a bit of a walk but the walk would do me good.
I followed the path, avoiding the grasses and branches reaching for me as I walked. As I walked I was in my own world, thinking of the last time I had been here with him but that had been so long ago. We had been meeting elsewhere recently.
As I walked along I noticed a tree had fallen across the path. I looked it over and realised I could easily step over it if I held it down a little. I clumsily climbed over the tree and was thankful no one was around to see. Once I was over, I walked until the path turned to sand beneath my feet.
I stopped and removed my flip flops from my feet. The sand felt sensual against my skin. I carried my flip flops and walked the last few metres of the path, hearing the sand squeak, feeling it move as my feet moved. I loved how the sand felt between my toes. I stopped at the end of the path and looked out over the waves crashing on the beach, wriggling my toes in the sand.
The wind picked up its pace as it whipped my hair around. I wish I had grabbed a hair tie before I left home. I wrap my hand around my hair pulling it to the side as I looked out over the water. It was so peaceful here and so open. I walked over to the nearby dunes and laid the blanket down, fighting the wind whipping sand at me and trying to keep my hair from tangling. I sat on the blanket and pulled it up over my back for some much needed warmth.
I looked out at the waves crashing on the shore as I thought back to the last time I had been here. Without realising it, I had tears of loneliness streaming down my cheeks. I was getting lost in my thoughts. I wiped at the tears and decided that I couldn't do this. I wasn't going to wallow in misery. I stood and looked around, making sure there was no one to see what I was about to do.
Seeing no one around, I quickly stripped off my shirt and shorts. I was standing in just my lace panties and bra. The wind nipped at my flesh as I dropped my clothing onto the blanket and ran down to the water's edge. I hesitated briefly as the water licked at my toes. It was cold but I could do this. I took a deep breath and ran into the icy water. I let the salty water numb my skin, anything to take away that longing and loneliness that had enveloped me moments before.
I stayed in the water till my teeth chattered and the ache of the cold filled my body beyond what was humanly possible. I slowly walked from the water. The wind wrapping me in its chill and blowing sand to stick to my wet flesh. I made my way back to the blanket, my body numb to the chill surrounding me. I stood, my body dripping, my arms wrapped around myself, looking out over the waves once again.