I have been around sailing boats pretty much my entire life. My father raced skiffs on Sydney Harbour from the time he was a kid, and it seemed appropriate that me, being the only kid in the family, should follow him into the sport.
Like him, I began in the smaller single hand classes such as the Moths and moved onwards and upwards until I was skippering an 18 footer. This was pretty much the pinnacle of the sport, the 18-foot skiff being the world's fastest mono-hull racing skiff, and while I won a few races, I was never going to be the very best.
When I began my working career I was offered a secretarial job with one of the better Yacht Clubs and I have worked my way up to become the Administrative Secretary of the club. To keep my hand in, I have studied the latest electronic navigational and systems controls needed for modern-day offshore racing. Because of this, I have now done four Sydney to Hobarts as a tactician. The tub was never going to take out line honours against the Super Maxis but we were up there on handicap.
Okay, that's my public persona dealt with, but what about the real me? I'm Jane, Jane Bond, don't laugh it's true, I'm rapidly approaching 30 and, while in Brian Freeman, who is one of the best trapeze men in 18 footers, I have a steady boyfriend. We do not live together but are heading in that direction, both having wardrobe space in the other's apartment. We have not decided on taking the next step, yet. That's a work in progress, the major stumbling block is his job, which takes him around the world on a regular basis. I have no intention of being the little wifey, sitting at home knitting, while I wait for my man to come home.
This is about the time, if you're a fan of those unbelievable romance stories put out by Mills and Boon or Barbara Cartland, and believe me I'm not, where the dashing Lothario arrives on the scene to sweep me off my feet. It wasn't like that at all, his name wasn't Lothario for a start. I recognised him for what he was, the word had got around among the women, so I wasn't about to let him into my life, or my pants.
I underestimated his persistence. But, because my first answer was 'no', and he was not one to take 'no' for an answer, he didn't give up.
Whenever Brian was home, Roderick disappeared into the background until Brian left. Then he was back with a vengeance, chipping away at my resolve until eventually, thinking that once he succeeded he would give up, I relented and went out with him.
He took me to the finest restaurant in town where he was on very good terms with the Maitre d', who treated us like royalty. Obsequious didn't come close, from the table service, to the highly pretentious wine selection complete with a Sommelier and his tasting spoon, to the sniffing of the cork, yes it was an old wine, to the gargle, to the holding the menu behind the glass to gauge the colour of the red wine, to the pronouncement, by Roderick, that the wine was 'perfect as usual'. The food was only deposed by the price. All of this was to impress on me what I was missing by not being his permanent companion.
Following dinner, we were driven in the limo to the yacht club so that the gossip could be in full swing when Brian arrived home the next day. "Oooh, did you see Jane at the club with Roderick last night, what will Brian say when he finds out?"
Brian already knew. When I spoke to him the day before he left London to come home via New York and Los Angeles, I told him that I was having dinner with Roderick. What would the gossips make of his response? "Good, have a good time and pick only the most expensive dishes. He'll take you to Chez Maurice, because he owns the leasehold on that and he gets a discount, particularly on the wine that he gets for the wholesale price, not the inflated to twice the recommended retail. He puts it about that he owns the building as well, but that's fake news.
It was fast approaching two in the morning when the limo pulled up outside my apartment block. "I'd invite you in for coffee except that Brian is due in on the first flight in the morning, and I need my beauty sleep and time to tart myself up for my man".
He was going to get angry but held it together. His attempt at a goodnight kiss hit my ear and he gave up, pulling my door shut behind me and ordering the driver to take him to another club. In his world, the night was still a pup and he wasn't going to be upset by some bitch who wouldn't allow him into her pants.
Any of the weary passengers arriving in the arrivals hall would have had no option but to smile at the welcome kiss that I bestowed on my man. People that had seen me not four hours ago would have said that the kiss had been motivated by guilt, and admired my recuperative powers having, they assumed wrongly, that I had been 'entertaining' Roderick, if you get my drift.
"Well, how did it go?" Brian asked, after the welcome kiss.
"Great, he honestly believed that he had broken down the last obstacle to his endeavours, and was in with a chance, only to be rejected in favour of you. He took off to find someone more obliging than I was prepared to be."
"I see that I need to take your mind from your gloating for the time being. Your bed or mine?"
It was mine, simply because I had breakfast waiting for him, or should I say brunch, or as it turned out to be, lunch.
"You do realise that he's not going to take this lying down, don't you?" Brian asked.
"That's the point, get him rattled and we can play him any way that we like."
"I know that he hurt your father, but don't you think this is taking things a bit too far?"
"Nowhere is too far as far as I'm concerned."
"But, if it all goes tits up, it will cost you a lot of the money that your father left you."
"I'm prepared to take that risk. If it succeeds a lot of people will be happy, especially when they see at least some of the money that he took from them returned."
"How long is this going to take?" He asked, his hand working wonders on my body.
"There'll be a lot more of this before he gets his."
"He's not getting any of this, I hope?" He had changed from a whole of hand manipulation to just one, or maybe two, fingers.
"No, not even a sniff." Okay, I hadn't had any for the week that he was away and I was as horny as hell. "Who told you that you could stop?"
"Sorry." That was the end of the conversation for the rest of the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, there were the odd disjointed utterances, like 'oh God', 'don't stop', and, you get the gist.
Monday morning, and I strolled through the office with a smug expression on my face. "How was Roderick, is he as good as we have been led to believe? Faith, my assistant asked. "By the looks of you walking down the corridor, I would say that he is as big as his previous lovers have testified."
"I don't know where they got that idea from, but from the little contact that I had with him, I'd say that he is highly over-rated." I didn't tell them that the little contact with his weapon was when he took my hand and placed it hopefully on his thigh. I was underwhelmed, and he was disappointed with my reaction. "What you witnessed was the result of the welcome home that I gave Brian, I tell you, the man has stamina. He was waving it at me as I walked out the door this morning." Okay, I was laying it on a bit thick and wondered how long it would take to reach Roderick's ear. Less than an hour it was before I received the first phone call.
"Hello, Jane here, can I help you?"
"Hi, it's Roderick..."
"Sorry, very busy, can't talk." I hung up.
"Who do you think you are?" The tone of his second call was hardly pleasant.
"When I looked in the mirror this morning I said to myself, 'Jane, you are one lucky person, do you know that?"
"Think you're fucking smart, don't you... "
"Smart enough to slide you further down my priority list for today," I decided that I didn't want to speak with him again. "This call has been recorded for litigation purposes." I said in my best robocall imitation. Not surprising, he hung up.
I went down to the staff dining room for lunch with Brian. "How was your morning?" He asked as I sat down.
"Fine. look I can't stay for long I have a lot of work to get through this arvo." I told him.
