This came to me while I was sitting in an emergency waiting room, based entirely on someone I saw there.
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PART ONE: Open mouth, insert feet.
"Old man, you are so full of shit!"
The 'old man', around fifty, looked over at his companion, a man in his late twenties.
"You really think so?" He asked in a mild voice filled with humor.
"Damn right, nothing is sexier than a naked woman."
"That's where I beg to differ. I'd say it was an age thing, but it's been proven time and time again. Hells bells, if what you thought was the norm, whole industries would go bankrupt."
"Really?" the younger man challenged, "Name one."
"Victoria's Secret, Soma, heck, any lingerie designer or manufacturer. Women don't normally buy that stuff for themselves, mostly men buy it or supply the money with great expectation."
"And while we're on the subject, how about high heels? Think they wear those uncomfortable things to please themselves? I bet deep down 90% would wear sneakers if they thought they could get by with it."
"I still think you're wrong" the young man said stubbornly.
"Well, everybody is entitled to their opinion. But really, think about it. Sure, the ladies enjoy these things because it makes them attractive. Attractive to who, you may ask? Why, men of course."
"If a woman would give you an honest opinion, they would all be in slacks, sweats, sack dresses and flat shoes. Comfort, son, is way under rated."
"look around you, David, what do you see?"
"I see The Furniture Mart."
The Furniture Mart was a semi-annual expo for furniture manufacturers, retailers, interior designers, and material suppliers to show their wares, the latest and greatest in the industry. Held in High Point/Greensboro and Hickory N.C. every March and October, it was a chance to see and be seen, and check out the competition.
China had practically destroyed the domestic manufacturers, pushing many into bankruptcy. A few remained, catering to upscale customers. A few more clung to the edges of the middle market, snatching what crumbs they could.
A quarter the size of years past, it was still a pretty big deal to the local economy. David and his older companion were at the High Point expo.
"No David, look at the people. What do you see? Men in casual clothes, most without ties. But the ladies, David, look at the ladies. Not one in slacks, very few in business dress. Most are dressed to the nines, think they're doing it to impress each other? Of course, to a certain degree, but most of it's for our benefit."
"Think David, think. Of course naked women are attractive, but it's the thrill of the chase. Wouldn't you rather unwrap the prize slowly, savoring it, than just ripping it off?"
"Most men, even if they won't admit, would rather see women in sexy lingerie. Why? Because right up until the time she drops her push up bra and slips off her thong, she is perfect. Once the clothes come off, you can see the mole on her bottom, the beginnings of cellulite on her thighs, or the first minute signs of wrinkles on her neck."
"It's the mystery we love David, whether we admit it or not."
Finally David seemed to get it.
"All right, Uncle Charley, I concede. Your argument has merit. Tell me, what do you think of Sherrie and the woman with her?"
David and Sherrie both worked for Charley, he as an up and coming furniture designer, her as an interior design consultant. She and her companion had just entered the display hall from across the room.
"Now, David, you know I love Sherrie like a niece, but I have to admit, she is one attractive female. She's only moved twenty feet from the entrance and has been stopped three times, all from men greeting her. They seem to like her companion quite a bit too, even if she seems to be a bit older."
David frowned at the attention she was getting, he harbored feelings for Sherrie.
Charley laughed at David's frown.
"Boy, if you love that girl you better snatch her up before she gets a better offer. She could probably do better if you leave her alone."
"Seriously, I think she has feelings for you too. But neither of you own a physic hat, so you have to actually tell each other how you feel. If you don't, you may both miss out on something that could be grand. You should marry her, idiot, so she really would be my niece. That's my opinion on the subject."
Anxious to steer the conversation away from his lack of a love life at the moment, he asked what his uncle thought of the woman Sherrie was with. For the first time tonight, his uncle seemed to sparkle.
"That, my boy, is a fine example of mature Southern womanhood. Not too thin, not too fat, built for comfort and speed."
He looked at his uncle, surprised. It was the first time since his rather ugly divorce two years ago he had even expressed a passing interest in a woman.
"I'm guessing her age to be about forty, maybe a year or two older. She may be a miracle of modern science, silicons sacks, nips, tucks, dyes."
"Or it could all be an illusion. Heavy make up, a body shaper underneath, a bra designed by a NASA engineer, with air assist and gyros to maintain altitude and projection. Support hose and a padded panty to make her ass look great. Who knows? Strip her down, her boobs may sag to her waist. She might have ugly nipples, a roll at her tummy and a flat ass."
Then he grinned.
