Safe In The Lions Den Pt 09

I turned the car off, and we stepped out into the mellow air of the season.

"Wow, a log house!" Sophia exclaimed, as I walked around to the back of the SUV to grab a couple of bags. "Did you build it yourself, Jack?"

"No," I replied. "I was going to, but I found a small company that was closing down. I agreed to purchase all of the logs they had, and they gave me a great deal on building this from my plans. I still have enough logs left to hire someone to build the garage at some point, or maybe I'll do it myself. It's not important at the moment."

Portia took the remaining luggage and followed me to the front porch. I set the bags down and fumbled for my keys, when a barred owl hooted with the familiar, "Who cooks for you; who cooks for you all" call, from a half mile away or so. I smiled, and put my keys back in my pocket.

"C'mon," I said, as I motioned for them to follow me back into the front yard. "I'll see if I can call him in."

I put my hands on either side of my mouth, and called back in a perfect mimic of the bird's own call. It responded in a few seconds, so I replied with a friendly "hoo-ahh!" and waited. Several seconds later, it called out again, this time from the edge of the woods.

"He knows it's me." I said to Portia and Sophia. "Let's see if he'll come in closer."

I repeated the call, and a quiet, whooshing silhouette sailed overhead, as the bird swooped in and landed on the lamppost about twenty feet away.

"Be still and quiet." I said in a hushed tone.

The bird swiveled its head around a few times, and then seemed to home in on something further out in the grass. It spread its wings and after a few flaps, glided in silently striking the ground and taking off again. A faint squeal could be heard, as the owl headed back toward the forest with a vole clutched in its talons.

"Dinner for Woodsy." I remarked, as we returned to the front porch. "Between the owls and the cats, they really help keep the mice and snakes down around here. Speaking of cats, I hear them on the other side of the door."

I unlocked the sturdy oak door and the strong aroma of eastern red cedar wafted out of the house. We were also immediately besieged by a group of excited and meowing cats. I hadn't expected to have been gone this long, and despite my filling their food and water bowls to the brim, the food was all gone.

"Who wants some FOO-ood?!" called out.

This elicited even more feverish yowling; particularly from a large, gray, bibbed-tuxedo Norwegian forest cat named Loki. They circled around me like furry barracudas, as I opened the plastic container that held the large bag of dry food.

"Here you go!" I said with a laugh, as I filled the large stainless steel salad bowl with more cat food. "Sorry Guys!"

The cats quieted down, and I turned back to my guests.

"I'll introduce you later." I said with a smile, as I switched on the overhead light.

The area had been dimly illuminated by a nightlight along the open staircase that led to the second floor, but now, the entire open space was clearly visible.

"This is beautiful!" Portia marveled, as she glanced around.

"And it smells so good!" Sophia piped up enthusiastically. "It smells just like that gift shop at the cavern this morning."

This morning! It seemed like a week ago, with all of the excitement we'd had today. I left the door open, as I picked up the luggage and moved it into the vestibule.

"Home, sweet cabin!" I said exuberantly. "I told you it would smell nice. I've gotten used to it; you will too, but it gets in my clothes and everything. I don't ever need to worry about cologne."

I reached to close the door, when a medium sized black and white animal about the size of Loki came darting in and chittered at me, before making a beeline for the food as well. He muscled his way in for something to eat, just like he was a member of the family.

"That's a funny-looking kitty." Sophia remarked. "Look at the nose on him, Mama. He looks like a poofy, zebra-possum."

Portia looked startled and gasped, as she recognized the animal.

"Mama Mia; la moffetta!" she exclaimed. "Quello non è un gatto, Sophia!"

Now as I said earlier, my Italian isn't so hot, but I recognize a lot of root words. In French, it's la mouffette; close enough. She knew full well what had just wandered inside the house, and like most people, panicked at the sight of a polecat.

"That's Earl." I explained. "He's a skunk, or what we call it here in the South, a polecat."

"I know what the fuck he is!" Portia hollered. "We have them in Europe too. Why is he inside the house?!"

"He likes cat food, I reckon." I replied. "He's probably hungry too. Skunks get a bad rap. They're actually pretty friendly, and they go after rodents, snakes and even hornet nests. Earl is the only one left - out of his family - so he hangs around the yard a lot."

"He's not dangerous?" she inquired dubiously. "You don't think that he will spray us?"

"No." I laughed. "Skunks are in the weasel family, but they aren't hostile. They also won't spray unless they have to. It takes a week or so to recharge, so they won't waste it on an angry moment. I'll check on him before we go to bed, to see if he wants out."

Portia shook her head.

"You're weird Jack," she sighed, "but it fits you. Somehow, in some weird way, having a friendly skunk walk into your house and start eating Sunday dinner with your cats is exactly something you would do."

"C'mon," I said, placing my arm around her waist, "I'll show you around. Here's the living room, and on the end -- as you can see by all of the bookshelves - is the library."

"Wow," Sophia exclaimed, "look at all of those books! It looks just like that library scene from 'Fahrenheit 451.'"

"Like I told you, you're welcome to read them." I responded. "Now, if you look out through these windows, this is the million dollar view during the day."

The full moon had now risen high enough to illuminate the landscape in a pale, bluish-white glow. The mountains were clearly visible across the river valley, although nowhere nearly as impressive as they would be once it got light.

"Oh Jack," Portia breathed, "this is beautiful; even in the dark. It's not the Dolomites, but it feels a lot like where my family is from, in the North. This will feel much more like home, than if we'd stayed in Washington."

"I'm glad you approve," I said, giving her a slight squeeze, "because this is going to be home for the next little while. Speaking of that, there is the kitchen. I'm sure you'll want to cook at some point, so I'll show you how to use the stove. I'm sure it's a lot different from that weird Euro stuff you have to contend with over there.

"Around the only downstairs wall, is the laundry area and the bathroom. It's a full bath; so is the one upstairs, so two can use the bathroom at the same time if needed. I don't really need a bath and shower downstairs, but in case I ever have visitors - or I get really old and turn the library into a bedroom - I thought it was the way to go."

"This is so cool." Portia marveled. "It's not really a big house, but the way it is so open, it feels much bigger, yet it's still cozy at the same time, with that one wall in the kitchen. Who designed this for you?"

I smiled, and let out a slight laugh.

"It's a Guy Fawkes original." I replied with a grin, as I led them toward the open staircase. "I have the original drawings on graph paper, framed. I designed this house when I was a kid. It's meant to be built into a hill, or in this case, a ridge. The ridge curves a bit, so all I had to do, was start walking until I had the angle and view I wanted, and start digging. It worked perfectly."

"How old were you when you designed it?" Sophia asked curiously.

"About your age." I replied. "It was part of a social studies project. We were all supposed to design a house. Most everyone else just drew some stuff out on a sheet of paper -- lucky to even use a ruler -- but Dad had these sheets of graph paper that let me lay it out evenly. It even let me use each tiny cube as six inches, so I made the walls six inches thick on paper. He showed me how to mark where the doors and windows are. It's basically a construction blueprint; no electrical or plumbing, but the log company made copies and used them to stack the logs with the door and window spaces left out. I built this house as a farm outbuilding, so I didn't have to get any building permits. That means I didn't need actual blueprints either. They were shocked to learn that they were following plans that were literally drawn by a fourth grader, back in the 70s.

"Anyway, the next stop is upstairs. There's a nightlight built into this outlet on the landing, and there's another one in the hall at the top of the stairs. It's always lit up at night, so if you have to use the stairs, you don't need to fumble for the light switch and then wake everyone else up, if they've left their door open.

"Speaking of that, you'll see that all of the switches in this house are lighted rocker switches, so you can see them in the dark. I don't think you use toggle switches over there, so these should be familiar to you."

"What is that funny looking orange one for?" Sophia inquired, as I turned the hall light on.

"We use this type of switch here." I explained. "It's orange, because they are designed for hospitals. It shows it's a special type of circuit. Dad had a box of them, so I used them for my security lights. There is one in a central location on each level, including the basement. They turn on infrared spotlights that are mounted on every corner of the house. I thought the orange switch was a good code for infrared.

"If anything happens, you can activate them from any floor. To the naked eye, it's still pitch black out there, but through night vision, it's as bright as daylight; nowhere to hide. With a scoped rifle, it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel, or picking them off like flies."

"That was a nice, graphic description." Portia responded. "She's only nine, Jack."

"Unfortunately, it's a graphic world." I replied. "I designed this house to withstand a siege, but to always have the upper hand in the process. Let's hope we don't have to rely on that, but in the event that it does happen, it'll get a whole more graphic than killing flies."

"What if they cut the power?" Portia demanded. "Then you'll be just as blind as them."

"Home turf advantage." I explained. "And they can't cut the power. I use the creek to generate my own electricity, and it's all fed underground. Those wires you saw coming in aren't connected to the house. But even if they somehow knew this and found that one special place to cut the wire inside the alternator shed, I have a propane fired genny that automatically kicks in. So, even my backup has a backup.

"I was a consultant on 'That Prepper Show,' so I've thought of pretty much everything. I drilled the well first, and then built on top of it, so no one can poison my source of drinking water. Code says the well must be x-number of feet on one side, and the septic system on the other, but since I built this without permits, I put the well in the basement.

"This ridge is quartzite, so I scraped it raw, blasted the side out and built right into it. Then I filled the grade up eight feet all around. I used mica sand from the flood plain along the creek for the leaching field. That gives me the best filter in the world for the wastewater, but even if it isn't quite clean enough, it's hitting that quartzite and running downhill. It will never affect the well. I do, however, dump a gallon of bleach down the well once in a while, and then flush the system out, just in case. So as you can see, I once again have a backup to my backup."

"I think we're safe, Mama." Sophia opined. "Jack has thought of everything. He even has an attack skunk."

"A what?!" I burst out. "I told you, skunks aren't aggressive."

"You know that, and now so do we, but Mama got spooked, I think is the word, when she saw him. Now we both know that he wouldn't hurt us, but would a stranger?"

"No." I replied thoughtfully. "Princess, you think just like me! I never even thought about that, myself."

"I don't understand." Portia interjected.

"If I wasn't here when you saw Earl, what would you have done?" I inquired. "You got scared, and you believed all of the false information about skunks. So what would you have done?"

"Probably thrown my handbag at him." she admitted. "To make him go away."

"And to that relatively small animal, you would have looked like an imposing giant who was hurling large, scary-looking weapons at him." I responded. "And he may very well have have sprayed you. Sophia, that is an awesome observation. I may actually look into getting more skunks now. I can't believe I never thought of that myself."

"Even the master can still learn." she said coyly. "I heard that on an old TV show, I think. Kung Pao or something."

"You're a gem." I said with a smile. "Believe it or not, I think you might actually be able to teach me about some things. We seem to be on a similar plane for some reason."

"Great minds think alike." she agreed. "Mama, he's the first person that understands me."

Portia nodded.

"I see that." she replied. "I hope you understand me as well, Jack."

"Well, you're a little harder nut to crack," I replied, "but I think I can probably figure you out eventually."

I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Soooo," I continued, as we stepped into the roomy vestibule on the second floor, "this is the upstairs bathroom. You will see that it's identical to the one downstairs, so you won't have to learn anything new if you have to use it. Just remember to shut the door, as it's the first thing anyone coming upstairs can see. That might create an embarrassing situation, should I ever have additional visitors."

"It's on the end." Sophia observed. "Shouldn't it be in the middle, so that each bedroom is the same distance from it?"

"Normally yes." I responded in a surprised tone. "But you know I think differently. The downstairs bathroom is on the end. Why would I put the second floor bathroom in a different location?"

Sophia shook her head.

"You're right; it wouldn't make any sense, without a lot of extra plumbing." she concurred. "It makes more sense to put the bathroom where the bedroom would be. It's directly overhead."

"Exactly! I plumbed this entire house with less than a hundred feet of copper." I explained. "It all feeds from a single core. Plus, it was all salvaged from jobs over the years, too. Didn't cost me a penny, and it's all from the '50s; way harder than the stuff you can buy today.

"This stuff won't break if it freezes, and it also adds a minute amount of copper into the drinking water. Like I said, I've had this place in my mind since I was a kid. I had a lot of time to make mistakes and changes to the plans inside my head."

"I think you nailed it." Portia responded. "It's perfect, Jack. I just can't believe you live here by yourself."

"Well, you know my story." I said quietly. "I bought the mountain, lost the wife and child, and then finally built the house after the fact. Who knows why? Kind of backwards, huh? Now, I'm like a lonely, made-up character from a Beatles song: I'm a real nowhere man; living in my nowhere land. Making all my nowhere plans... for nobody. You two are my first and probably only, visitors. I just hope that you don't have to find out for yourselves, why I built this house in the first place."

Portia placed her hand over mine and smiled.

"We're honored to be your first guests." she stated. "And I feel even safer with you now. Good lord, I never had any idea that any of this would happen, when President McDonald told me that we would be placed under the care of someone he trusted more than anyone else. We were being protected by a secret agent that no one would ever guess.

"I swear Jack, when I saw you for the first time, I thought you were the janitor or something! I was expecting some dashing mustachioed guy from an old black and white movie, in a tuxedo I guess; just like you said to that ranger guy. I never expected some MacGyver dude in a ponytail and a sleeveless motorcycle t-shirt instead. I'm sorry I judged you."

"Well, it was all going to plan until I decided to take the scenic route," I lamented, "but the important thing now, is that we are finally home. My house is YOUR house, until we sort all of this out. I know I can't replace what you have lost, but all I have, is yours in the meantime.

"I have a beautiful house with no family, and you two are a beautiful family with no home. I know it's two different puzzles trying to form a picture, but if the pieces fit, does it even matter?"

"No," she said quietly, "it doesn't. All that matters now, is that my daughter and I are safe, and despite what we have both lost, I somehow feel a sense of belonging here."

"It's the cats." I replied, as the flock o'felines ascended the stairs and swarmed the hallway. "If you leave the door open tonight, you're sure to have a few of them on the bed with you. They love people, and since I haven't had any visitors here yet, you guys will probably be pinned under the covers."

"Why do you have night lights on the stairs?" Sophia inquired, changing the subject. "Don't you see in the dark?"

"No I do not." I replied. "I have a map in my head, yes, but it's all muscle memory. One wrong step and everything's gone. When someone flashes a light in the dark, I freeze that picture in my mind and step through it. It's much safer to use a night light - and speaking of that - I expect you to use the handrails when going up and down these stairs. Use the lights and be careful, okay?"

"Okay!" Sophia agreed. "I'm definitely listening to you this time."

"So that is my room, this one in the other corner... is the one I use for an office, and this one is the spare bedroom." I pointed out. "This one will be your room until I can finish the attic space, and transfer the office up there. Then, I will have three bedrooms. It'll be tight for a bit though; I'm sorry you have to share a room."

"Don't be." Portia said quietly. "I understand now, that you were willing to take us in without any preparation. I also understand why Pres-"

"John." I interrupted with a smile. "He's a friend, remember? Forget the titles."

Portia smiled back.

"I also understand why JOHN wanted you to look after us." she continued. "On the road, you handled all of those situations, but we weren't supposed to be so long in getting here. This is where we'll really be safe isn't it; in the Lion's Den?"

"Of course." I replied. "The plan was always to get you here as quickly as possible, but you wanted to take the scenic route, so we ended up with a couple of extra bits of excitement along the way that I never anticipated. We're here now though, and that's what's important. I'll start setting everything up in the morning. If anyone's stupid enough to try and get to you here, they'll go home in a body bag. This place is built like a fortress."

"What if someone cuts through the logs with a chain saw?" Sophia inquired.

"I've never seen a tactical unit carrying an assault chainsaw before." I replied, slightly annoyed at what I thought was a deliberately antagonizing line of questioning.

"What if they take one from your shed?" she followed up. "I mean, you live in the woods; you must have a chainsaw."

"For fuck's sake, Sophie!" I burst out. "Is there a point to all of this?!"

"The wood is a weakness, isn't it?" she continued. "It could be cut through or set on fire."

It suddenly dawned on me, that she wasn't trying to get a rise out of me; she was looking for chinks in the armor as well. She was trying to find holes in MY plan! She was certainly thinking outside the box, and she was thinking an awful lot like me. She wasn't being a smart ass; she was analyzing the construction in the very same manner as I had, when I decided to build this retreat.