Safe in the Lion's Den

After a few hours, I saw a sign for Luray at the next overpass. I exited the two lane parkway and headed into town, looking for a nice Mom 'n Pop motel to crash for the night. I was soon rewarded with a neon sign proclaiming their vacancy, and one of those American flag/owned icons underneath.

"This must be the place." I said with a yawn, as I pulled under the portico out front.

The sun had set, and I was pretty damned tired at this point. We entered the tiny lobby (if you could even call it that), to find the counter empty.

"What is that?" Sophia inquired, pointing at the tourist literature rack to our left.

"Those are brochures for local attractions." I explained. "See if there's anything nearby that you'd like to see."

Sophia nodded, and dashed over to the wire rack, eagerly perusing the dozens of pamphlets which featured local tourist attractions and other things to see in the area. I tapped the old fashioned desktop bell on the counter, and a few seconds later an older woman in her mid-sixties or so, appeared.

"Welcome to Luray!" she exclaimed, in the same pleasant drawl that I have become so accustomed to. "Y'all need a room?"

I glanced around and scratched my chin dubiously.

"I dunno." I replied. "Do you think we really we need one?"

She seemed taken aback for a moment, but then burst into a huge grin.

"I declare, that was pro'lly the dumbest question I've ever asked; y'all walking in here and me asking if y'all need a room." she laughed. "We have one left. Two double beds. That okay, Hon?"

"Works for me." I replied. "Is that okay with you, Babe?"

Portia nodded, following my lead.

"Yes, Honey-bottom." she replied.

I winced - most likely very noticeably - but did my best to remain unfazed.

"Um, we'll take it." I informed the woman. "Kid-tested, mother-approved, hehe."

"Will that be cash or charge?" she inquired. "We require a hundred dollar deposit, plus the cost of the room, if you're paying in cash. We have so many people leave very early and take stuff with them, that we had to do it."

"How the times have changed." I sighed, as I opened my wallet. "Here's two hundred bucks. Will that cover it?"

"Most definitely." she replied cheerfully, taking the cash and sliding a small card toward me. "Now, just fill out this card please."

It was the standard motel card that billions of people have filled out over the years; name, address, cell number, license tag... I froze. My tag (what we call a license plate here in the South) had been replaced with an essentially fake one. Did I write down my real number, or the one that was on the car at the moment?

"Is something wrong?" she inquired.

"I uh, I haven't had the car that long." I managed to reply. "I'll need to check the tag."

"Oh, we have a camera." the woman said in the same cheerful and confident tone. "Let me just zoom in... oh, a government tag. Nevermind; I understand completely. No need to fill that part in."

"Is there a microwave in the room?" I inquired.

"Yep." she replied, as she took the card back. "Hard wired hair dryer too, in case you need one."

With that, she slid a key across the counter. Not a key card, mind you, but an actual brass key. I couldn't help but smile at the nostalgia.

"Checkout by Eleven." she said with a smile. "If you need anything, dial 9 and it will ring here. If you check out before Five, ring me and I'll get up to refund your money."

"Okies." I replied.

With that, we left the lobby, with Sophia clutching several brochures in her small hands.

"Honey-bottom?!" I burst out, as we exited the office. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Portia giggled uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, Guy." she laughed. "I was trying to think of something sweet, and that just popped out. I'm sorry."

I too, began to laugh. Sometimes, the literal translation of a word or phrase could sound entirely different than the true or loose translation. In this case, it was mostly something that might translate into "Sweet ass" or something, but I had to admit, Honey-bottom was pretty damned funny.

"It's okay." I replied. "Let's get our stuff in, heat up that food, and hit the hay."

"Are we sleeping in a barn?" Sophia inquired.

"No." I laughed. "It's just an old expression that means going to sleep."

I backed the car up directly in front of our door, and unloaded our bags and the cooler, carrying everything into the room, before locking the door, glancing around furtively and dragging a chair in front of it for effect.

"Is that really necessary, Guy?" Portia inquired.

"No," I replied with a grin, "but it makes it makes this whole thing feel lot more like a spy movie, doesn't it?"

Portia did her best to refrain from laughing, but let out a chuckle anyway.

"I swear, you are an ass sometimes!" she laughed, as I put the chair back.

"Let's get this food in the microwave!" I exclaimed. "Sophia, why don't you turn on the TV and find something interesting to watch while we eat?"

"Okay Jack!" she replied, picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

I was of course, expecting her to find some old sitcom or something, but it was apparently set to a DC station, and they were airing the local evening news. To my chagrin, that included video of my earlier altercation in the store.

"-we were saying about that incident in Front Royal earlier today, where someone claiming to be a federal agent took down three people at Wally World," the commentator observed, "We still have no further details."

"Jack, that's you!" Sophia exclaimed. "Ah carumba; you're on TV! Mama, look!"

"Oh shit." I muttered, as I looked at the TV. "This day is just getting better and better,"

There I was, plain as day - cuffing Charlene - and then taking on her husband, before he was Tasered by Jenkins. All in all, and in all fairness, it really gave me the benefit of the doubt. The biggest problem though, was my face! It was all over the place. Why was I doing what I was doing? I was beginning to feel helpless, when an update suddenly broke in.

"Just in... we're... wait- yes- no, wait... Okay I think we finally have it." the commentator elaborated. "The White House is releasing a statement about what has happened, regarding this gross use of guns involv-"

She was cut off, as the live feed kicked in.

"So let me fill you in, regarding this situation, on behalf of President McDonald." the charming White House press secretary addressed the crowd. "There are all kinds of rumors going around right now, regarding some footage that was shot earlier today in Front Royal, where someone claiming to be a federal agent engaged several people in what appeared to be a fracas of some sort.

"Let me assure you of two things here: First, this man was not 'claiming' anything. He is who he says he is. Second, this was no fracas. What you witnessed, was a secutity detail taking down people who were actively threatening President McDonald's grandniece, and her nanny.

"At the time, the aggressors had no idea who they were assaulting, but that in no way lessens the crime. They will be charged as terrorists, due to the political nature of the attack. As for the agent you saw on video, he was merely doing his job and protecting those placed under his custody.

"So, let me wrap this up as simply as I can: President McDonald's grandniece and her nanny were the random targets of a random shopper who had no idea who they were. Once the altercation took place, her assigned bodyguard was able to get the situation under control.

"Um, so... that's where we are at the moment." she concluded. "The agent had no idea that this was a random act of violence, and acted appropriately. President McDonald has already been in touch with him regarding this incident, and has expressed his thanks that his grandniece is safe."

The shot cut back to the anchor, who glanced to her left and nodded.

"Apparently, we have a clip of that statement." she said, as she looked at the teleprompter once again. "Um, can we get that? This is from just five minutes ago."

And then, there was John. Imposing as usual, with a no-bullshit look on his face, as he turned to take a reporter's question.

"Mr. President, can you comment on the situation earlier today, involving your grandniece?" a young man inquired.

"Yes Ralph." John replied, turning to face him directly. "This is what happens when you defund the police. These were crazy people, Ralph. Crazy people. I know they think that they are good people, but they are just plain crazy. This is so unfair to the American people. They should have never been in public to begin with. My understanding is that both of them have been held for psychiatric reasons before. This should have never happened, and I'm going to look into this. This was so unfair - I'll tell you how unfair this is - my grandniece and her nanny can't even go shopping without being assaulted? This is so unfair, and I am going to change that. My little pumpkin and her nanny can't even go to the store without being assaulted."

"But they are okay, right?" Ralph inquired.

"Oh yes! Thanks to the agent that I assigned- I assigned him personally by the way." John responded. "He was perfect. He took three bullets for me, by the way. Years ago. He was shot three times in the back for me. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. I was talking to him and shots rang out and he grabbed me and took three bullets for me. So I wanted him around my little fairy princess while she's in town. So yes, he was protecting my little girl, and I trust him implicitly. He's perfect."

"But... do you think he may have overreacted?" Ralph pressed.

"No." John replied. "He did what anyone would hope a passerby would do. It's so unfair, Ralph. If this were anyone else, it wouldn't have even made the news."

The bell on the microwave dinged, and the atmosphere suddenly changed.

"Change the channel, would you, Princess?" I suggested to Sophia.

"Guy..." Portia ventured, "It's not going to be me that people recognize now. It's going to be you!"

"Shit!" I snapped, as I rubbed my jaw in thought. "Maybe I'll have to wear the hat and glasses instead. I was an actor for several years, so I can try and alter my movements too. We can worry about that later. For now, let's eat and get some rest."

Several minutes later, we were once again enjoying some amazing Southern cooking, thanks to a bombardment of microwave energy on our leftovers.

"Bis iv fo goob!" Portia said to me; her speech distorted by a mouth full of food on top of her accent, and her eyes rolling. "Fo goob."

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Sophia said with a giggle.

"Fo goob!" Portia retorted with an over-exaggererated and somewhat comical scowl.

"You're my nanny!" Sophia giggled again. "That's funny."

I relaxed slightly at this point. They were clearly interacting normally, which indicated a sense of comfort and trust, to me. We finished eating, and dumped all the trash into the small wastebasket next to the TV.

"That was just as delicious the second time around." I stated with a smile. "You're right, Portia, is WAS good!"

I glanced around the room and turned on the bathroom light, stepping in and studying the layout. Bathtub to the left; sink and toilet to the right. I then began walking to the toilet and back, then tub, etc., until I had a 3D map laid out in my head.

"What are you doing, Jack?" Sophia inquired in a puzzled tone.

"Oh, I'm just making a map in my head." I replied. "If I get up before you do and I don't want to disturb you, I don't have to turn the light on. It's all in my head now.

"I'll take the bed closest to the front." I continued. "That puts me between you two, and anything that might come through that door or window."

"We need to change." Portia observed.

"Use the bathroom." I replied. "I'll cut the light off when you come back out."

A few minutes later, Portia and Sophia emerged in pajamas and climbed into bed.

"Okay," I said with a a yawn, as I pulled my shirt off, "I'll turn off the light and see you in the morning."

"Hey!" Portia called out. "Turn back around here for a second, would you?"

I was a bit surprised, but obliged her request.

"It looks like you have a turtle shell on your stomach!" she exclaimed. "What kind of a workout do you do?"

"I don't work out." I responded. "That's from delivering newspapers. Twisting from side to side did that. That's where I got all of this definition in my arms and shoulders too. My fingers are really strong too. That's why I choked that guy out in the restaurant with one hand. You can't duplicate that in a gym. I'm talking a few thousand reps a day with almost no weight. It's all definition, with zero bulk. It's like a tree that grows in the subarctic with tiny rings. The wood is much stronger than a bulky tree further south with larger rings."

"I'm sure you have strong wood." Portia commented, having no idea whatsoever, what she had actually said in the translation. "Good night, Jack."

"How are you going to see, to turn out the light?" Sophia inquired.

"It's like that map in my head I told you about earlier." I explained. "I look at the floor, and then walk that pattern back. But since I'm tired and I don't feel like putting on a demonstration, I'll just turn on this light next to the bed, walk over and turn off the light switch and then turn out this one. Goodnight, Ladies."

I switched off the wall lamp next to me and took my jeans off; climbing into bed and removing my necklace and elastic band from my hair, before falling asleep almost immediately. After several hours of vivid dreams that of course involved my two newest friends, I eventually awakened and checked my watch. 4:37 AM. At this time of year, there was still an hour or so, before it got light.

I got out of bed, and reached for my extra socks, underwear and t-shirt which I had retrieved from the bugout bag in the car. They were exactly where I had laid them out, like the soap and shampoo in the bathroom. I snuck quietly past the bed and shut the door behind me, moving mechanically to the tub, following the map in my head. It was the exact reverse of my own tub at home, so I had simply mirrored my own setup with the soap and shampoo.

Thoughts raced through my head, as I reached for the shampoo, and lathered my hair up. Forty eight hours ago, I was laying in my own bed, without any clue of what was about to happen to me. Now, involved in the moment, one of the most powerful women in the world and her daughter, were sleeping on the other side of the door as I rinsed my head off. Well, at least one of them was still asleep, anyway. The other one was rapping her knuckles gently against the door.

"Knock, knock!" Portia whispered, as she opened the door slightly. "Jack, I have to pee!"

"Fine." I replied. "I won't peek if you don't."

"Peek?" she repeated, as she felt her way over to the toilet. "I can't see a fucking thing."

I listened with amusement, as I heard her fumble around the toilet. The sound of the lifting lid, her peeing and then flushing in the pitch darkness was then followed by a question.

"Where's the soap?"

I couldn't help but snicker. She was about to get a free lesson in preparation.

"Put your hands on either side of the sink." I said, pulling the shower curtain back. "Then, pretending the sink is a clock, reach out to the two o'clock position with your right hand."

"Hey, there it is!" she called back. "Thanks."

Several seconds later, I heard her bare feet padding back across the floor, but she passed the door and stopped just outside of the tub.

"Jack," she quietly, "I'd like to talk if it's okay. Sophia is still asleep. May I join you?"

To say that I was stunned, would be an understatement. It was dark of course, but in my shower? Was that whole European thing about modesty for real? What was I going to say to a woman wanting to get in the shower with me, no? How much does a hamster weigh? These, and a thousand other questions ran through my head in less than a second.

"Um, yeah; I guess." I managed to respond.

I pulled the shower curtain further back and reached out. I knew exactly where she would be, and took her arm in mine, as I guided her into the shower.

"How can you see me?" Portia inquired. "It's black as a bitch in here."

"I can't see you." I replied, as I put my arms around her. "I think you meant it's black as pitch, or pitch black. You saw me last night, making a map in my head. You didn't believe me though, did you?"

"No." she answered truthfully. "I thought you were making a show, like dragging the chair in front of the door. I thought it was all part of that whole Steven Seagal thing. I still have a hard time believing you're like some secret agent. You remind me of MacGyver, with a ponytail."

"Well, I know exactly where you are right now." I said with a smile that was invisible in the darkness.

I held her tightly, and she slowly ran her fingernails down my back, causing me to shudder involuntarily.

"It's been a long time since someone did that to me." I confessed. "It's nice."

"It's nice to be held again," Portia replied, "and your arms are so strong; yet your touch can be so light. So, tell me about that necklace that you wear. What does it mean?"

"It's a long story." I responded.

"Are we going to run out of hot water?" she inquired.

"No."

"Then tell me." she coaxed. "I'd like to know more about you, and that necklace seems to have meaning to you. I'm curious about it."

"It does." I sighed. "You see, my mother died on my birthday. Six months to the day later, my stepfather died of a broken heart. Thirteen days after that, my dad died from advanced dementia triggered by anesthesia, after he fell and broke his hip. He went under as my dad and came out a child. I watched him go downhill every day. He was dead in three weeks. I was with him when he died."

"Oh my God, Jack!" Portia exclaimed. "I'm so sorry!"

"Thank you," I replied, "but it gets worse, believe me. I was handling everything pretty well. I'm a sigma male, and we're strong, but everyone has their breaking point. I had a falling out with my niece, who means more than anything else in the world to me, over some asshole she was dating. He's in prison at the moment, for trying to run her over with the car a few months later so it looks like my judgment was sound.

"Anyway, that was the breaking point. I literally lost it. I mean, on the floor, curled up in a ball, and crying and babbling incoherently for hours. It happened twice more in the next ten days, and it completely broke me.

"A dear friend of mine sent me a care package, with some Ghirardelli chocolates, a scented candle and that pendant. It said it was a healing quartz crystal. What neither of us knew, was that quartz is not healing; it magnifies your emotions, and me being a Libra, when the scales tipped one way or the other, it made it ten times stronger.

"I looked crystals up online and found that green crystals are calming, so I took an old ring I had with aquamarine stones in it, and looped the cord through it, to make the necklace. So, the whole thing magnifies my energy, while keeping me calm. Sometimes though, if things get really intense, I have to take it off.

"That lard-ass in the store today had pushed me to that point. I was fixing to break his arm, when that chick Tasered him. I'm okay, Portia; I mean, I'm back to one hundred percent, but the whole thing has changed me somehow. When I was a kid, I used to see guys come back from Vietnam all fucked up in the head. Shell shock, they used to call it. I guess that's what they call PTSD these days. I guess that's what I have to a degree. I've just lost all impetus to do much of anything. My house still isn't completely finished.

"So, that's my story about the necklace." I concluded.