Roger

We didn't see each other coming, so passed right under each other's radar and fell in love.

An answer to a profile on an internet dating site, lead to a flurry of funny, sexually charged emails. It was early summer, I was newly divorced, and spreading my wings.

You were in town learning a new career.

You told me you were divorced and needed a new career for your new life. Of course I understood that, because it's the same place I was in.

We agreed to meet on a Saturday, at my place.

I decided, in step with the new me, to meet you at the door in my black silk corset with blood red ribbon ties, black lace panties, thigh high black stockings and red platform heels.

The doorbell rings, I peek to be sure it's you, then open the door.

You're cute, standing there with a single rose, your eyes as wide as dinner plates, your mouth working hard not to fall open.

You stepped inside, toss the rose, haha, somewhere, (we never did find that rose!), push me against the wall and make hard, crazy love to me! I was in heaven!

Then you went down on your knees, took my hand and kissed it. Looking up into my eyes you told me I was the most beautiful, sensuous woman you had ever met.

We spent the next couple of hours in bed making slow, sweet love. Getting to know each other by touch, taste, and smell. I've never felt so alive! Nor so loved.

The song lyrics, "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much", I finally understood them. You went right to my heart. It was magical and frightening.

You had traveled here from a few states away. You trailered your Harley and pulled it with your truck.

For the next month we were inseparable on the weekends. We rode your Harley all over the State. Drive till we were tired, then get a room. Talk, make love, and talk some more. It was intense and amazing!

During the week you had class, I had work. We tried to talk every night.

One weeknight I was talking to my friend on my landline phone and my cell phone rang. It was you. Your voice was thick with emotion, I could hear the tears in your voice.

You took a breath and said you loved me. It was my turn to tear up. I never said anything, but I had fallen for you completely, weeks ago.

We talked and you said you couldn't imagine life without me.

I told you when you finished your classes, and were ready to go home, I would follow you. I had nothing holding me here.

I wondered at your oddly noncommittal answer of "we'll see", but I shrugged it off as just nerves.

That next week I took a day off work and went to the motel you were staying at to surprise you. You were surprised, but not in an entirely good way. You seemed to be acting a bit guilty, but I just shrugged it off.

We had a great weekend again riding the bike. We stopped late on Saturday afternoon and got a room. We had a nice dinner, then had a drink by the lake and watched the sun set. You told me you finished your classes and got your certificate. I said so this is a celebration!

We made love several times that weekend. It was sweet and I was so in love with you. I told you when you got back home and settled, to call me and I'd move out there. You said that was a good plan. You planned to leave for home at the end of the coming week, and said you'd call when you were ready to leave.

I waited. Two days went by, then three, then four. I finally called your motel. They told me you checked out four days ago. I tried calling your cell, and it said it was no longer in service. I emailed. Nothing. I emailed several times over the next couple of months, no response.

I cried my heart out to my best friend and he told me he figured Roger lied, and was still married. My friend said Roger played a dangerous game and fell in love, but never intended to leave his wife.

I hated to believe it, but in my heart, I knew it was true.

I saw many things in Roger's eyes, but cruelty wasn't one of them. He blindsided me, and shattered my heart.

I've always been torn. In one respect, I wish he had never told me he loved me. I would have just said goodbye when he left. I would have cried, but it would have been my fault for falling in love, when it was just a summer fling.

On the other hand, I'm glad he did tell me, then I knew I meant as much to him as he did to me.

In the end it doesn't change what he did. He broke two hearts.