FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Hey, dude, your luck's changing. Didn't I see you out at MacMurdo's Friday night with some hottie?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
Nope, no hotties in sight. Friday night I took my little sister out for a burger and a movie. She's a great kid, but I wouldn't call that a change of luck.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Wait, that angelic brunette in the white sun dress was your sister? My God, man, you've been holding out on me!
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
Well, she does have brown hair, and she did have a white dress on now that you mention it. I don't know about angelic, though. The crap she used to pull on me when we were growing up...
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Never mind that. Why didn't you ever tell me that you had a sister that hot?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
You met her a few times when we were in high school. She's been up at McGill the last few years doing pre-med, though.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
I remember a skinny, dorky little kid with thick glasses and braces. Damn, I should have been nicer to her.
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
Yeah, you should have. She's filled out some and gotten rid of the glasses and braces.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
"Filled out" is an understatement. My God, man, you took her out in public in that dress? How many accidents did she cause?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
She's just my sister. I catch your eyes on her chest, though, and I'll staple them shut.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Mine and every other straight man's in sight. You better start buying staples in bulk. Is she single? Seeing anyone?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
She's just back from Canada taking a break before med school. No men in sight. And no, I'm not setting her up with any horndogs.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Horndog? You wound me. Would I ever treat your sister with anything but the utmost respect?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
Not if you value your balls you won't. You know how many bull calves I've turned into steers on our ranch? I can do it in about ten seconds flat.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Point taken. Seriously, though, would it be OK if I called her up?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
I'll let you know.
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
Hey, Pipsqueak, you remember my friend Paul Mason from back in high school?
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
It's Katherine, you jerk. How many times do I have to say that? And yes, I remember my first crush. What girl doesn't? What about him?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
He's back in town and I guess he saw us eating dinner the other night. Sounds like he wants to ask you out. You interested?
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
Maybe. Has he been bumming around here the last eight years? Still working at the IGA?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
No, he's recently back in town after working off his West Point service obligations. Doesn't say much except that he was in Iraq and Afghanistan a lot. Still a pretty good guy, but don't tell him I said that.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
And he's still good looking?
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
How the hell would I know? I'm not gay. Whatever he did in the service, though, he appears to have all the body parts he started out with.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
Really? Maybe I need to investigate that further...
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
Don't you dare. I paid good money for your anatomy classes, and not so you could brush up with my high school buddies.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
You? I thought it came out of my trust fund.
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Katie Olson
And who wrote the checks after Mom and Dad's accident?
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Mike Olson
Anyway, yeah, tell Paul Mason to call me.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Laura Daniels
OMG!! Laura!! Remember how I thought coming back to small town Colorado would be boring? Guess who just asked me out?
FROM: Laura Daniels
TO: Katie Olson
What, Mr. Perfect is still there? Has he made Produce Department Manager yet? How much of a pot belly does he have?
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Laura Daniels
That's CAPTAIN (ret.) Perfect if you don't mind. As in he just finished working off his West Point education and is taking a break before he starts a new career. I can't believe this! One week back in town and I've got a date with Paul!
FROM: Laura Daniels
TO: Katie Olson
Girl, you know you've got it going on. Didn't all those men chasing after you at McGill mean anything? What does it take to convince you?
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Laura Daniels
Those were just a bunch of horny college boys. Paul's a grown man. I like that a lot.
FROM: Laura Daniels
TO: Katie Olson
Like you didn't think he was all that the whole time you were up here in Quebec? Even that English guy with the title and the castle didn't measure up to Paul the Bag Boy from Colorado. Seriously, honey, calm down. He may not be all you've built him up to be.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Laura Daniels
Don't remind me of Lord Whatsit. I'm just glad I figured out what a conceited ass he was before that went too far. What am I going to wear? Oh God, Laura, I need you here, not 2000 miles away!
FROM: Laura Daniels
TO: Katie Olson
You could wear a feed sack from your brother's barn and that boy would be enchanted. Remember what we taught you? Show off your chest, legs, or butt, but only one at a time. You can do this. Christ, girl, you're a dead ringer for Carol Alt at the top of her game. You don't need a lot more than that.
FROM: Katie Olson
TO: Laura Daniels
He never noticed me before.
FROM: Laura Daniels
TO: Katie Olson
That was then, this is now. Go get him, you sexy beast.
FROM: Paul Mason
TO: Mike Olson
Hey, Mike, just so you know, I called Katherine and I'm picking her up from your place for dinner Saturday night.
FROM: Mike Olson
TO: Paul Mason
She better be home on time and no worse for wear.