Jeff was right. So much of that stuff seemed stupid and almost pointless. Was it possible that in all those countless weddings before ours nobody had questioned them?
We heard the band leader introduce us.
"Do I wave like a political candidate or a beauty pageant contestant?"
"Don't you dare. Just smile and walk to our table."
I don't think he would have done his wave. I suspected he was joking. We walked to our table for two.
Jeff got a funny look as he saw the table.
"We've been living together since I was a freshman."
"That was last year," I said. "I didn't want us at a table with our parents. I had no idea what my father might say and this way, not only are we not with them, each family has a separate table."
"You are very wise. I now understand the basis of this tradition."
"I don't think it was introduced to keep the peace."
"I'm sure it was," he said.
"You do know it's called a sweetheart table?"
"I had no idea. That could modify my theory."
Dinner festivities started with a
hora
which included most of the guests. It's a circle dance, most of which is the grapevine steps: turn left, right foot forward, turn right ninety degrees, left foot to the side, turn ninety degrees to face the direction from which you came, right foot back, turn left ninety degrees, left foot to the side. If you've ever watched a dance routine, you've seen this step.
Depending on the number of guests there may be quite a few concentric circles. This is traditionally the first dance at Jewish weddings.
I don't know where the tradition came from. I could look it up online, but I would be willing to bet I would find at least five different definitive answers.
We were included in another part of the tradition when Jeff and I were each hoisted up on chairs. We had expected this. What I had not expected was that Jeff was prepared with a cloth napkin. We each held one end.
Back when all Jews were orthodox, men and women did not mix in many activities, including prayer and celebrations. They would be separated by a partition called the
mechitsa
. The only connection the bride and groom would have was holding the opposite ends of a cloth.
The explanation I found on Wikipedia merited a spit laugh. Mingling of the genders might lead to frivolity which may lead to promiscuity. They didn't have football on TV back then to rigorously enforce the lack of mingling, though it has nothing to do with frivolity.
It made me think of
Footloose
and the prohibition against dancing. Dancing, of course is typically done with frivolity which might lead to promiscuity.
It felt like I was riding a roller coaster which was in actual jeopardy of flying off the tracks. These people needed to do some weight lifting before they tried this again.
We were served butternut squash soup before we started visiting the tables. Jeff got a thoughtful look when he took his first taste.
"Honey, ginger, nutmeg, this has got to be Sam's."
It was so good I groaned.
The first table we visited was Jeff's family. I looked at Sam. He smiled. I maintained my focus on him. He nodded.
"Exquisite," I said.
"My pleasure."
Jeff was an unexpected hit. Whatever animus my father may have spread, the story of a young nerd finishing college in a year followed by earning his Ph.D. and becoming a full professor in less than a year, all before he was old enough to drink, attracted considerable interest. People seemed to be trying to find a way to associate him with their businesses. I left him on his own.
I stopped by to speak to the band leader before I made my rounds.
Without Jeff by my side most of the guests wanted to talk about
Believe It or Not
. People were reluctant to believe it was not rehearsed. Even my friends doubted me.
The band leader cut into everyone's thoughts.
"Quiet, please. The Maid of Honor would like to share some thoughts with you."
I hadn't given this any thought, but Jen obviously had. I didn't know what to expect.
"Ashley has grown so much as a person since I met her.
"When I first met her she was
sure
she was the most breathtakingly beautiful girl in the world. Today, she just
knows
she is the most breathtakingly beautiful girl in the world.
"When I first met her she just assumed everyone would do whatever she told them to. The only saving grace of her having that attitude was that she was right. But she has grown so much since those days. Now she fully understands that sometimes she has to explain before everyone will do whatever she tells them to.
"From the time Ashley arrived at college she was the unchallenged queen of campus social life. But even with all her experience and worldliness, Jeff was able to introduce her to the finer things in life.
"He introduced her to the exquisite cuisine of Bob's Big Boy. For those of you unfamiliar with Bob's Big Boy, the food is
almost
as good as it sounds.
"The very first time they met in college, Jeff shared a precious gift with Ashley. He borrowed a dollar from her so he could teach her double-entry accounting."
People had been laughing since she started, but this got quite a few laughs.
"You laugh. How many of you understand double-entry accounting as well as Ashley? Let's see the hands."
Only Jeff's hand went up.
"I thought so. Accounting was not the only thing they shared.
"Jeff took Ashley on the most romantic dates, like watching our college wrestling team, grunting and sweating out a victory over another obscure wrestling team.
"I kid about the wrestling team, but Jeff introduced her to high culture as well. They went to listen to classical music. He took her bowling.
"Now, you may wonder why I'm talking about all the things Jeff introduced Ashley to. I'll tell you why. She
loved
them, go figure. Before Jeff, Ashley would never have considered these things. But today her bowling average is still rising.
