Author' Note:
This tale was conceived as a Valentine's Day story for the romance category. Alas, as sometimes happens, the characters commandeered the plot and embellished much of the story with what should be categorized as group sex. A group of disillusioned college women form The St. Valentine's Harem and seduce a young man to become their sultan; he is to provide romantic cheer and sex for his harem of lady friends. As the author, I was eventually able to wrest the plot back from this group of brash, lonely ladies and return this tale of group sex back to one of romance.
The timeline used in 'The Reunion of the St. Valentine Harem' does weave around a bit, which I believe enhances the narrative. The tale begins with this year's Valentine's Day; Randall Vinificatore is rereading a Valentine card he received seven years after leaving college, stirring up fond memories of the day he opened this mysterious pink envelope.
The tale then fades further back in time as Randall reflects on his college days and the events which led to the formation of his St. Valentine's Harem during an informal Valentine's dinner, prepared for four girls who did not have a better offer on that night of romance.
After reliving Randall's college experience with his St. Valentine's Harem, the story moves ahead seven years, returning to the day he got his surprise Valentine from an unexpected source, asking "Will You Be My Valentine?" Randall responds to this invitation and is surprised by what he finds. Following Randall's response to the invitation, the story progresses, looping back and reconnecting with this year's Valentine's Day - back where the tale began in the opening paragraphs; finishing on a romantic note, as was my initial intention. - Sandy
~ * ~ ** ~ *** ~ ** ~ * ~
She slipped around behind me, unnoticed, as I sat next to the fire, lost in thought. "Mr. Randall Vinificatore, what's in your hand?"
I kept my eyes on the hypnotic dance of the flames as I answered her. "Oh, just an old card I got in the mail a few years ago. I enjoy pulling it out and taking a look at it around this time of year. It brings back some fond memories."
She set a wine glass on the stand next to me, taking a seat in the chair on the other side of the hearth, holding her own glass of Riesling. "Sounds like that old card might have a story to tell; and I love a good story. Mr. Vinificatore, If you don't mind, I'd love to listen as you tell me the story behind that old card."
I took a sip, letting the complexity of the aged vintage wash across the back of my tongue. I lowered the glass from my lips, letting them part in a secret smile. I gathered my memories and began to tell her of this old card; "This story of romance -- or perhaps I should say, this story of sex and then romance, begins like this..."
...It was unexpected.
I guess it was easy to see how it had escaped my notice, buried among the matted mare's-nest of advertising circulars which had accumulated inside my mailbox over the last week to ten days. I didn't give any thought to this ritual cleansing of my mailbox; in fact, I didn't bother to look at the commercial crap stuffed inside. I didn't need aluminum siding or teeth whitening treatments. I walked across the kitchen with a fist full of junk mail destined for the recycle bin.
In hindsight, I guess I could say that the reason I noticed it was because the envelope was heavier and thicker than the surrounding wad of slick newsprint. Its heft caused it to separate from the pile, making it fall into the bin ahead of the rest, hitting the bottom with an audible, dull rap.
Or in hindsight, I guess I could say there's another possibility; the only reason I noticed it was fate. One of life's moments of singular good fortune.
Whether by differential sorting or by fate, the thud of the pale pink envelope landing at the bottom of the plastic bin made me turn around to take a second look at what I'd just dumped into the trash.
I dug it out, turning it over in my hand, it was unusual. Unusual for several reasons; first, it was an oddity, it looked like personal mail. I don't get personal mail. Who does in the 21st Century? I thought it odd that some real person would try and communicate with me through the US Postal service. Why would someone spend the effort to write a message on paper and then address an envelope and then spend the money to buy a stamp and put in the mail to be delivered to me days - yes, days later? Arcane and unusual. Second, it was addressed to me by hand. My name and address were not printed but written in a looping, curving feminine form. What woman would send me something in such an old-fashioned manner? Rather mysterious. Third, the envelope had the faint scent of perfume. I smiled inwardly at this fun and fanciful dimension added to a paper envelope as I lifted it to my nostrils. Intrigued, I had to admit none of my phone's messages ever came with the scent of a woman. There is no app to deliver that kind of pleasantly scented subtlety.
The back of the pink envelope had the imprint of lipstick from two lips, kind of like an emoji, over the initials SWAK. WTF? I knew most of the texting standard initials; but this was a new one for me. I'd have to look SWAK up on my phone. Intrigued and puzzled by this quaint oddity, I flipped back to the front to see if she left a clue as to her identity in the return address corner.
L. Robbins
6116 Bond Boulevard
Apartment 214.
The sender had written her name and street address. The last line on her return address showed that she lived here in town. I had to think, did I know an L. Robbins from around here?
I wasn't sure I could place the name. Not wanting to let the mystery linger, I grabbed a table knife, encrusted with dried peanut butter off the counter and slit open the top of the scented envelope. I was surprised to see it was a card. A handmade card with the sexy figure of a veiled woman dressed as a belly dancer made from a collage of fabric and construction paper. I was surprised to realize it was a Valentine's Day card addressed to me; but who was L. Robbins in Apartment 214?
Opening the card, I read the hand lettered script:
Randall, Will You Be My Valentine?