CHAPTER 1
Like thousands of expensively educated youngsters before him and destined to tread a similar path after him, Grady Halliburton was totally undistinguished in his passage through Ascension Boarding School for Boys, New Hampshire. His marks ran consistently at C-level with the occasional B and D to inject variety and in sport he was designated 'water boy' or assistant to the assistant coach and his popularity among fellow students rarely got better than 'Grady who?'
Grady completed college with a scholarship to Oxford College, England, where his mother pressed him to study Theology and his engineer father appealed to him to study anything except Engineering. Rather than be dismayed by the lack of parental support, Grady continued his interest in English Language and Literature and gained his doctorate. After a year on a round-the-world cruise ship working as assistant cultural director, he taught and managed to survive three years teaching at an unruly boys' school in Dublin and then taught at an exclusive boys' school in Scotland where, after four years 'on staff' was appointed deputy headmaster.
When home on sabbatical visiting his parents, his mother mentioned Ascension was seeking a new headmaster after the incumbent was fired for impregnating both the matron and the assistant matron. Grady was quite sure in his time at Ascension even adults didn't know about sex so was delighted that things may have changed at his old school with Headmaster taking the lead.
He enquired about the position, being a 'safe' fornicator, although not actually using that description, and was told to approach the agency conducting an international search for a suitable replacement. He just managed to make the deadline. Two weeks later Grady went to New York for the interviews and then went to Ascension as one of the five final applicants to appear before the board.
The expensive and highly regarded G6-G12 school was run on an English preparatory system. It currently had 292 students, all but eleven being borders with a teaching/student ratio of 1:8.
Clearly the board was staggered to find a graduate of Ascension was a finalist and was proudly unanimous in its choice of Grady as its new headmaster. It helped that he had the highest qualifications of the final five and his teaching and administrative records were deemed to be up to standard.
Two months later Grady arrived to take up his position. He arrived on the last Friday of spring vacation and his first task after a thorough inspection of the school facilities including the grounds was to appoint a housekeeper.
The chief executive had four candidates lined up and Grady looked at their qualifications and refused to interview any of them.
"The youngest is seventy-two," he said derisively.
"Chairman is anxious you don't impregnate your housekeeper."
"Fuck the board chairman," Grady said and the CEO said in rising outrage, "Headmaster!"
"Paine, I have been engaged to run this school academically and without interference of either you or the chairman. That is laid down in this school's 1921 charter. Please get me a young, virile... er energetic and lively housekeeper or I shall create mayhem."
"God Grady, please don't do that. The media put us through the wringer after the exploits of your successor. On Monday I will ask the agency..."
"I'll take someone already on staff. Line them up for me in sixty minutes Paine... all female staff in all positions, aged eighteen to forty-eight."
"Oh god."
"Just do it Paine, now is not an appropriate time to pray."
Paine returned an hour later and took Grady to the Great Hall.
Twenty-three noisy females were waiting.
"Get them standing in two lines six feet apart."
Paine spoke quietly to two senior women and stood them six feet apart and told the women to line up alongside those two markers to finish with ten in the front line and the remainder in the back line.
All the women wanted to line up in the back row and Grady grinned as Paine struggled to use his authority to gain comprehension and order among his flock.
"Ladies this is our new headmaster, Dr Grady Halliburton. You'll read about him in tomorrow morning's newspaper. He wishes to engage one of you to be his housekeeper. Over to you Headmaster."
"Will those of you who are frontline managers please leave," Grady said. "Mr Burton will be checking that you are indeed the aforesaid frontline managers."
Six women scuttled away, smiling in relief at Paine.
"Would those of you who unable to accept a higher salary to be my live-in housekeeper please leave."
Another six women left.
"Right you remaining ladies please form one line. Thank you. Just take one pace forward each time you can answer each questions with a yes, otherwise remain rooted."
"Those of you who are confident you are an excellent cook please step forward."
All stepped forward except one who ran off crying.
"Those of you who are confident you qualify to be called an exceptionally good cook please step forward."
The questions continued and the women were invited to take a step forward if ... they were house-proud... their first preference for music was classical... they knew who Henri Matisse was... were punctual and trustworthy... drank red wine and loved to converse deeply... enjoyed theater and ballet... didn't smoke...
By then two women were well out in front.
"Thank you everyone. Would just these two ladies immediately in front of me please stay."
One was very good looking but thin and unsmiling. The other had a great body and smiled and would look great with a bit of grooming tuition.
He said to the thinner lady, "Who was Henri Matisse?"
"He played for the Yankees many years ago I seem to recall."
"And what do you say ma'am?"
"It's Miss. He was an outstanding French painter noted for his use of vivid colors who died I think in the mid 1950s."
"Good. You are my first choice. Will you accept the position?"
"With pay better than what I received now and terms of employment at least as equitable?"
"Guaranteed," Paine said and when she said she accepted he said to the other woman, "Thank you for auditioning so well Colleen; you may return to your duties now."
Grady said to the other woman, "Thank you for auditioning so competently. Mr Burton please grade my housekeeper to appropriate level and have her things shifted into the housekeeper's quarters in my house as soon as such a transfer is convenient."
"Yes certainly. That ought to be convenient sometime this afternoon. Matron will be furious because Maggie here has just arrived as assistant matron."
Grady smiled. "Although I'm somewhat sympathetic, I should think in the order of things Headmaster securing a suitable housekeeper takes precedence over the requirements of Matron."
Paine grinned. "I'll convey that sentiment to Matron and then duck the flying missile."
Maggie said, "What do I call you sir?"
"Grady when we are alone, Headmaster whenever anyone else is within earshot."
"Very good Headmaster."
"Oh Maggie we'll eat out in the village this evening because you'll require time to settle in."
"I'm sure I can manage..."
"You shall dine out as my guest Maggie. Oh I feel it's my duty to warn you that the chairman and his board will be dismayed at your appointment, their plan to dump me with a seventy-plus year old housekeeper being thwarted. You'll be careful not to become pregnant while on my watch won't you Maggie?"
"Certainly Headmaster. I have been on the pill since I was sixteen."
Grady smiled and Paine sighed desperately.
Over dinner Grady leaned that Maggie Olsen was thirty-two and a registered nurse who was having a career change for a couple of years before she returned home to marry her childhood sweetheart providing he was still waiting for her. She told Grady she was not shy about having sex. She said that Grady not being unmarried was likely to get as much sex as he could handle without leaving the school grounds because she understood he had about eighteen females on his teaching staff, all of whom lived on campus and only a small percentage would be lesbian out of choice.
Grinning, Grady said, "Actually I don't move round chalking up conquests like a bean counter."
Maggie colored. "I didn't mean anything except to indicate the choice was there if you were so inclined. I would pick you to be selective and aware of the need to protect your reputation."
"Tell me what you really mean Maggie," smiled the 41-year-old, youngest headmaster in the school's hallowed history.
Face flaming but courageous with the help of a cocktail and two and a half glasses of red wine, Maggie eyes him bravely and said, "You have selected me and installed me for the purpose you have in mind, knowing most though not all people will not expect a professional man to have sex with his housekeeper."
"Ah, well expressed. If you decide to have sex with me just remember what we do within our house is our business and it's fortunate the bedrooms are above the living rooms. When we are away from the house we must not express any intimacy."
"Of course not and I do understand. Would you care to see how we measure up tonight?"
Grady made sure she saw him looking very pleased. "Yes Maggie. I would be very grateful if you permit that to occur."
Back on home turf, as Grady closed the electronically operated garage door he said, "May I undress you when we get upstairs?"
"Yes I'd like that but first let me pee and brush my teeth. I shall then come to your room."
Before going up Grady checked his telephone for messages. There was one from Colonel Ashton. The chairman of the board sounded very angry but no way would Grady be returning the call. The Colonel could call him during school hours on non-urgent matters. Grady had been less than impressed by the bellicose bully during interviewing and in the subsequent briefing in the chairman's office after his selection. The idiot acted as if he were Top Gun.
Paine had said Ashton was entitled to call himself Colonel because he'd retired able-bodied from the Air Force with that rank and could be recalled at any time.
* * *
Turning to be unzipped, Maggie asked in one of those deep conversations Grady had hinted about during selection, "When did you last have sex?"
"With my landlady on the last evening of occupying my serviced apartment in her beautiful Georgian townhouse. The poor woman confessed she'd been hanging out for it for the four years I was her tenant. What about you?"
As Grady unzipped her dress and kissed between the wide shoulders Maggie shivered and said the last time her brother was home just when she'd managed to secure the position as assistant matron.
