Researching Love

As I got closer and closer to the date of the defence of my PhD thesis, the tension and anxiety began to mount. I wasn't tense about my viva- I was fairly certain I would ace it. Instead, I was tense and anxious about my life after the PhD. When I started the PhD I had had a very clear goal in mind- I wanted to be a Professor. But 4 years later, as I got ready to receive my degree, I had no job offers in hand and absolutely no contingency plan. In short, I was staring at a sure-fire 6 months of unemployment with absolutely no parental support to count on.

The date of my viva drew closer and passed. As I got home from the viva I had a strong sense of achievement and success but an even stronger feeling of dread. With nothing else to do, no one to celebrate with and my anxiety about my future off the charts, I called it an early night and slept well into the morning.

I got up feeling groggy and cranky the next day. Walking around my kitchen like a caffeine-deprived zombie, I made myself a strong milky cup of coffee. I moved my two-seater dining table close to the window and fired up my laptop to check my email. This was my usual morning routine- a cup of coffee by the window with either a nice sitcom playing in the background or my emails. As I scrolled through my emails, most of them were either the usual Facebook and Twitter notifications and spam from Amazon. But right at the bottom of this pile of useless, unsolicited bullshit was my future. It was an email from Blackrock Castle Observatory in Cork, Ireland and its title indicated that it was in reply to my application for a postdoctoral position there.

My heart was racing as I opened that email and speed-read it. My eyes looked for the usual words all the other emails had contained: "thank you for applying", "we regret to inform you", "due to a high number of applicants". But this email contained none of that crap. Instead the email actually went on to state that they'd been impressed by my application and CV and wanted me to come to Cork next week to begin my orientation. Staring at the screen in disbelief, I read the email again and again and again, almost committing it to memory. I almost couldn't believe it- I'd finally scored my way to that holiest of holy grails: a career in research. I immediately called my mother and gave her the news. She was overjoyed too but a little sad that I wouldn't be coming home for a few months. After I got off the phone with her, I booked myself a train ticket to Cork and hopped down to my landlord to tell him that I'd be vacating my apartment next week.

The rest of my week passed by in a blur of packing and goodbyes. As the morning of my departure dawned I was itching to get going. I left my house at 9am and by 2pm I was sitting down for a restful lunch in a nice Café on St Patrick's Street- the most happening and vibrant street of Cork city. Blackrock Castle is located a little way out of the city and as I left the café, I asked them for directions to Blackrock. I reached Blackrock Castle around 4pm with my bags and baggage.

Summer had well and truly commenced, as the sun was still way above the horizon, when I entered the castle and made my way to the reception desk. Alex, the receptionist, greeted me warmly, "Dr Smith, it's so nice to finally meet you. We've been expecting you all day". I smiled and said, "I hope I am worth the wait!" Alex laughed and quickly called for Dr Julia Woods. "Julia will be your team leader," he explained. As we waited for Julia, I said, "Alex, where will the research centre be putting me up? I was told I'd be informed about that once I get here..."

"Oh, right, about that..." There was a touch of hesitation in his voice as he continued, "You see, we weren't actually able to find you accommodation," he said apologetically. As he saw my expression change, he quickly added, "But we made alternative arrangements for you with a colleague. You see the Cork Jazz Festival is on this weekend so all the hostels and hotels are completely booked."

"Oh that's understandable..." I said in a deflated tone. "Who am I crashing with? Julia?"

"Oh no no no, not Julia! No one would dare to suggest that," he replied with a chuckle and then dropped his voice to a whisper, "You see she's a bit of a bitch... She hates to share." Now it was my turn to laugh. There's always something enjoyable about bitching about your seniors behind their backs.

"So who is it then?" I asked, genuinely curious now.

"You'll be staying with Giada. She's a very sweet Italian girl. The two of you will be-" Alex was interrupted by a booming cry of "Dr Smith!" I turned around and found myself face to face with a smiling blonde, middle-aged woman. She held out her hand to me confidently. I shook her hand nervously and half-asked, half-said, "Dr Woods?" She nodded enthusiastically at that and gave my hand a good shake. "Call me Julia, please. You've been assigned to my team," she said.

"Yes, Alex just told me. I'm really looking forward to working with you."

"Likewise, Jon. I've heard great things about you from Humphrey. He seemed to be highly impressed by your PhD project." Dr Humphrey Maguire was the person who had interviewed me.

"I'm glad to hear that," I responded in a quiet tone that almost implied disbelief. Humphrey had all but ripped apart my thesis in the telephonic interview. Praise from him felt like snow in a dessert.

"Has Alex found you a place to stay?" she asked me as her gaze fell on my bags. She then looked at Alex as she waited for an answer.

"He has" I put in quickly just as Alex said, "Giada has volunteered to host him." Julia raised an eyebrow at that. "That's very kind of her," she said, sounding almost incredulous at the suggestion that a human being help another human being.

"Have you been introduced to her?" She turned her hawkish gaze back at me.

"No not yet" I said looking first at her and then at Alex.

"I'll just give her a call" Alex said, and pulled his phone out of his pocket and began to dial her number. He spoke on the phone in a low voice as Julia and I both watched him carefully. "She's just coming," Alex explained.

"Alex, do we have Jon's employee card ready?" Julia asks Alex.

"I think we should. You sent us a digital scan of your passport photograph didn't you?" Alex asked me as he started to rummage through one of his drawers

"Yes, I did" I confirmed.

"Then it should be here... Hang on, give me a second" Alex said absentmindedly as he continued to look for my employee id.

"Ah there she is..." Julia said as a beautiful young woman made her way towards us. She had long black wavy hair that came down well below her shoulders. Her eyes were an enticing shade of light green. Her lips were set in a confident but warm smile. She was wearing a crisp white shirt over a smart, beige skirt. She had a fit, athletic physique and I couldn't help but check her out. I tried to be subtle about it but there was no hiding that silly daydreaming grin that comes on my face every time I see a pretty girl. My eyes followed her body down to her legs which looked firm and toned. Her high, pencil heel shoes made a neat, "clip, clop, clip clop" sound as she walked towards us.

"Hey Julia" She smiled at Julia and then her eyes met mine. "And you must be Dr Smith. It's lovely to meet you." She had a sexy, husky voice and her words came out in a delightfully melodious Italian accent.

"Call me Jon. And you must be Giada" I said as I shook her hand. Her hand was soft but her handshake was firm. That's one confident girl, I thought to myself as we exchanged pleasantries. Her smile was like the winter sun- soft, pleasant and radiating just the right amount of warmth. I felt myself bask in her gentle warmth as my eyes met hers for just a couple of seconds.

"I am indeed. The one and only," She said with a quick, flirty laugh followed by a subtle wink. I felt my heart skip a beat. Quick, say something cool and not at all smitten by her, I thought to myself as I tried to frame a response that was flirty enough to seem interested and yet not so forward that it would scare her away.

"My saviour- the provider of roof and bedding" I remarked jokingly. Her full throated, unreserved musical laugh that followed drew out an easy smile from me. There you go, you stud, I told myself, feeling proud.

"#RefugeesAreWelcomeHere" she joked back, repeating the marching cry of refugee solidarity groups across the world.

"I hope you really mean that cause if not, you'll just be breaking my heart"

"And what if I'm not joking? What are we going to be breaking then?" Her eyes held my gaze for just a second longer than necessary and in that second she raised her eyebrows slightly before giving me another wink. I looked down at my feet as a bright red blush swept over my face. Her use of the word 'we' in that last sentence, had the blood rushing to my ears.

I opened my mouth, trying to form words but Giada cut me off with a quick, "Aaaaaaaactually don't answer that."

"Oh Giada, cut it out. You're scandalising the poor boy," Julia interceded, cutting the sexual tension between us somewhat. Then Julia looked at me and said, "Anyway, I'm glad to see you two getting along. Jon, you're going to be seeing a lot of Giada over the next couple of weeks so you might want to get used to her... eccentricities" Julia finished with a chuckle. That last sentence was like music to my ears. She then looked at Giada, "And Giada, please bring Jon back in one piece tomorrow." A look passed between Julia and Giada that I couldn't quite understand.

"GOT IT" Everyone turned to stare at Alex as he emerged from under the desk, waving a small white card in the air, hysterically. We all laughed as Alex handed me my employee card and quickly explained how I should swipe it and the services it entitled me to here.

"So I supposed that takes care of everything for the moment. Any questions?" Julia asked me. I shook my head in a quiet no. "Alright then, I'll see you all at 9 tomorrow morning. Don't be late." And with that, Julia turned around and walked back up to her office. Alex, Giada and myself called out goodbyes as she left.

Once Julia left, Giada sized up by luggage and said, "I was gonna suggest we grab dinner somewhere but you seem to have a lot of luggage with you. Let's stash these bags at home and play it by ear from there."

"Sounds like a plan." I then looked at Alex and ask, "What are your plans for tonight?"

"Netflix and chill with Karl," Alex replied coyly.

I raised an eyebrow at that and asked, "Karl?"

My comment drew laughter from Giada and she explained, "Karl is Alex's fat cat."

"Hey! I'll have you know Karl is in great shape. That shape just happens to be round" Alex shot back in mock outrage making both of us laugh.

"Alright then, enjoy your evening. That's the only pussy you seem to enjoy anyway," Giada teased Alex (prompting a chuckle from me) and then said, "I'll just grab my stuff and be right back." Giada walked back the way she had come and reappeared soon after with a backpack casually slung across her left shoulder. "Let's get out of here," she said and led me out of the research institute at a brisk pace. Both my suitcases in hand, I struggled to keep up with her. Once out of the research centre, she turned left, leading us downhill and towards what looked like a coastal-walk of sorts. "I love walking down the promenade" she turned back over her shoulder to look at me, as she said that. "The promenade here goes on forever and you can see the River Lee cutting through the coast and widening as it gets closer and closer to the sea."

As I huffed and puffed my way downhill, my eyes followed the meandering promenade as far as I could see. "How far is the Irish sea from here?" I asked Giada.

"Hmmmmm... Well I think the sea is about 20-30 kilometres away, at least. Cork's coastline is fascinatingly complex and convoluted." After a slight pause, she added, "I've walked about 10 kilometres down that promenade and the sea was nowhere to be seen. The thing with the River Lee is that it kinda makes weird, snakeish gap in the land that twists and turns a million times until it finally gives way to the open sea.

"Wow! I didn't know that. I thought Cork was a coastal city."

"Yeah well it is and it isn't. Cork has a clear outlet to the sea and you can have medium size vessels shipping in but it's still a long way from the coast. That's why Cobh is the main shipping and cruising hub here. Cobh is right by the sea."

I listened to Giada intently. Although I'd been living in Dublin for the last 5 years, I'd never really found the time to make a trip to the South of Ireland and there was so much I didn't know about Cork.

"We go here," Giada said, rounding a corner. I huffed and puffed behind her, my muscles starting to burn up a bit. We walked past a bus stop and then down a row of pretty bungalows, all with driveways and gardens. I whistled, "Sweet hood!"

"I know right!" Giada looked over her shoulder as she said that. "It's a very peaceful street. I love living here." We walked down the street for about 5 minutes before Giada stopped in front of one of the smallest bungalows on that street. It seemed to be half the size of the other houses and had a curious rectangular shape that spoke of budgetary constraints. It seemed incredibly cute and cosy from the outside. The garden was overrun with weeds and the driveway seemed to be just big enough for two bikes.

"This is us. Cute isn't it?"

"It is" I replied with a genuine smile. "Do you own the place...?"

She laughed at that and then leaned into me, "How rich do you think I am, Jon? Houses here cost millions."

I looked down at my feet sheepishly, "I guess the Centre treats you well then."

"Well enough. Now let's get inside already," Giada responded cheerfully and walked to the door, unlocking it quickly. She held the door for me as I carried the suitcases inside, one by one. She shut the door behind me. Standing in a narrow hallway with a set of stairs leading up and two doors just ahead of me, I turned around and looked at her. "Where can I dump these?" I held the suitcases up a bit.

"Just straight ahead," She motioned towards one of the doors. I opened it and realised it led into a quaint and cosy square-shaped living room. "Just leave them anywhere here. We'll figure things out later" she said with a slight wave of her hand. "Alright," I replied and put the suitcases into an empty corner, so they wouldn't be in the way.

"Give me a second, I'll be right back," Giada said before going up the stairs. I could hear a couple of the floorboards creaking as she went up the stairs. That's probably her bedroom, I assumed. Walking back into the hallway I peaked through the other door and realised it opened into a tiny kitchen that was just about big enough for two people. All in all, from the inside, this house looked a lavish two-storey one-bedroom apartment. It was probably just about big enough for a well-adjusted couple, but no more. Peering out the living room window, I could see a small patio with two benches and a table. There was a garden out back too and it seemed just a little better kept that the one in front.

I could hear Giada's footsteps thud softly on the roof, as she walked around her room. She didn't seem to be stomping but the sound of her footsteps were still quite audible. I guess the walls are super thin, I thought to myself as I unpacked my change of night clothes and toiletries. Soon, I heard Giada coming down the stairs and absentmindedly glanced at the watch, 6:00 pm.

Giada emerged in a smallish t-shirt and what seemed like a comfy pair of shorts. Her nightwear struck the right balance between modest, comfortable and mildly sexy. She flashed me one of her captivating smiles and asked, "Shall we get working on dinner?"

"That sounds good to me. What are we having?"

"Well I don't feel like going out to be honest. I was thinking we could make something simple at home. I have a chicken in the freezer and some rice. We could make a curry alongside that..." Her voice trailed out as she thought aloud.

I interrupted her train of thought and said, "That sounds good to me. Want me to help with the cooking?"

"For sure, mister! You're gonna be earning your roof and bread while you're here" She said with a mock sternness that was followed by a brief giggle.

In reply, a bowed and said, "Dobby is at your service, master."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "A Harry Potter reference? Guess I won't have to put in too much work into you after all." She smiled coyly and her finger began to twirl a loose strand of her. There was a moment's silence between us as we both tried to figure out where she was going with that. Giada broke the silence herself with a firm, "Right! It's kitchen time!"

Giada marched into the kitchen and I followed behind her shyly. I couldn't help but feel a bit awkward at how well things seemed to be going between us. I hope I'm not making a fool of myself, I thought to myself self-consciously as my social anxiety struggled with the spark Giada and myself seemed to feel. We cooked in relative silence, moving together almost seamlessly as we divided the labour amongst ourselves. I made the rice and chopped vegetables for the curry, while Giada looked after the chicken and the curry-base. It took us over an hour but by the time we were done, the kitchen felt like a cornucopia of smells. I breathed them all in, as we brought our feast out to the dining table.

Giada laid the cutlery and together, we sat down to enjoy the feast. We talked a lot over dinner. Our conversations ebbed and flowed, moving from one topic to another. Over the course of a long heart to heart, that continued well after dinner was done, we covered everything from our childhood, education, interesting Irish experiences to past relationships. By about 10pm, we'd broken open 2 bottles of wine and were feeling a nice chilled buzz as we sprawled side by side on her three-seater couch and talked our hearts out. As the clock ticked and our wine glasses progressively emptied, our enthusiastic jabbering was gradually punctuated by yawns.

Finally, once we'd emptied our third bottle of the evening, we decided to call it a night. I helped Giada move the dirty dishes to the kitchen sink with a promise to take care of them the following morning. Giada showed me the tiny toilet just below the stairs and said I could use the upstairs shower in the morning. She promised to leave her door open so I could get to it even if she was asleep. I thanked her again for her hospitality and accompanied her upstairs. She gave me a big fluffy pillow from her bed and took out a duvet from one of the pull-out drawers below her king size bed. Holding both of them in my arms, I descended the stairs cautiously, trying not to trip over the duvet. The floorboards creaked below my feet rather noisily as I made my way down.

I dumped the bed linen onto the couch quickly got changed into a t-shirt and shorts. I laid the pillow on one of the arms of the three-seater couch and pulled the duvet onto me as I laid down on it. The couch was soft and I could feel my body sinking down into it in a delightfully comfortable way. Lying there, with my eyes closed, I felt myself drifting away into a deep slumber. I don't know when I fell asleep but I woke up a few hours later. My throat was parched and felt like it was on fire. I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to drink some water.

My thirst quenched, I returned to the sofa. However, as much as I tried, I simply couldn't get back to sleep. Waking up and walking around seemed to have broken the inertia of my sleep cycle. I just lay there in the dark for a while, staring up at the ceiling and hearing the distant rumble of the odd car driving by the house. After what felt like hours of lying awake in the dark, I reached for my phone and started going through my social media. If anything, the glare of my phone seemed to push sleep away even more. As a result, after about 10-15 minutes of using my phone, I was even more awake than I was earlier.