Reminiscences

Copyright, 2001, NCmVoyeur

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victoria

. . . yes my love . . .

we needn't come to this place . . . but i'm glad you are here with me

. . . yes i know james . . . but i do enjoy our visits . . . it is our special place . . .

yes indeed quite special

. . . though not just our place . . . the boy seems to like coming by too . . .

yes . . the boy . . . it is a bit puzzling how he seems to linger when he passes by

. . . it is but a moment my dear . . . i do not mind his presence . . .

all is but a moment my love . . . just as when i first saw you . . . time seemed to stand still

. . . and what do you remember of that moment james . . .

oh such memories . . . returning home from those terrible years of fighting . . . miss hampton hosting a reception by her garden . . . you were there . . . standing . . radiant in a blue flowing dress . . . i couldn't believe it was the same victoria i'd seen before leaving for the war . . . it was shameful of me to notice how your bosom had blossomed in those years . . . but i felt such yearnings within me

. . . you seemed hesitant to approach me . . . such a strong brave soldier scared of a frail young girl . . .

not a frail girl any longer but a woman with the grace and curves of maturity . . . a rose in bloom on display in the garden

. . . when you'd come to court me your gaze alone would make me flush . .

your eyes entranced me . . . your body enthralled me . . .

such imagination my love . . you couldn't see my body . .

not till the wedding day but my mind wandered as we would stroll together . . .

our wedding was beautiful . . i was so excited yet scared . . . you were so big and strong . . i worried i wouldn't please you . . .

i had faced enemy fire but i was never as nervous as i was taking you afterward to the little cottage . . . so alone . . .

together at last

. . so excited . . my love . . my wife . .

perhaps i myself was too nervous to notice . . .

i had no idea women's garments could be so complicated . . . so much to unlace . . so many hooks . . each part of you revealed was like a secret beautiful mystery

. . . it was not your first time my love . . as it was for me . . .

no . . i succumbed to shameful women during the war

. . . i wanted my lover to teach me . . i had no illusion it was your first time . . .

you are gracious . . .

i know you suffered terribly during that awful war . . . i heard it in your dreams . . those anguished cries in the night . .

. how i wanted them to go away . . .

what things you may have done i accepted and forgave you . . .

being with you made those memories bearable . . .

i was excited to have you for my husband . . though embarrassed in my nakedness before you . . .

i did not want to embarrass you . . .

you sensed my discomfort . . . covering me in the linen blanket before joining me in bed . . . your kisses were so soft and tender . . . such a contrast with your rough beard . . your calloused hands . . your hard muscles. . .

your skin was so smooth and white

. .

i was afraid i'd be too rough

. . your kisses left my lips . . . moving to my neck . .

i loved the smell of the lavender which you had placed there

. . even my ear lobes . . i never knew they could be such a source of pleasure . . . you pulled the blanket slowly down . . revealing my breasts . . .

how i had longed to see you . . .

by then i was more comfortable . .though still conscious of my body . . .

i wanted to look at my bride . . such excitement to see what your dresses had only allowed me to imagine . . . the curves of your bosom . . the dark pink circles at the ends

. . for the first time i realized you were as fascinated with me as i was with you . . . how you took your finger and traced around the circle . . .so slowly . . like a child with a new toy . . such curiosity and delight . . .

i wanted to discover every inch of you . . .

i didn't even notice my breathing start to increase . . every movement of your finger seemed to send currents through my body . . i wasn't sure how to act . . my voice betrayed me . . . like a mouse surprised in the night . .

how well your breast fit in my hand . . my wife . . my love

. . . you kissed it . . first on top . .

the scent of your skin thrilled me . . .

when you kissed the nipple i feared i would faint . . .

you shuddered my dear . . with that simple kiss . . . i lingered wondering if it was out of pleasure

. . oh it was . . .

before trying again . . or daring to expose the other

. . . i felt your chest . . hairy and wide . . next to me . . you turned . . i had been looking at you . . i blushed at realizing your manhood was now exposed . . i got scared again . . .

i saw that look in your eyes . . how i wanted you . . but did not want to hurt you . . the tension was unbearable

. . that's when i pulled you to me . . .

yes you did .

. . that was wrong . . it was your decision . .

no my love that comforted me

. . thank you for keeping the blanket over us . . i'd have died of shame otherwise . . . though i loved you . . .

you tensed as i moved on top of you

. . .your body was so large . . i was afraid my legs . . . my body . . . wouldn't open . .

they did . . and of their own motion it seemed

. . . yes . . .they did . . those first sensations i'll never forget . . the pressure of you against me . .pushing . . finding your way . . opening my body . . .

i felt like i was walking on the first thin ice of late autumn . . tentative . . . afraid to plunge in . . .

your gentle smile relaxed me

. . then i moved into you

. . . oh . . such terror and delight . . . such blissful pain . .

so warm and wonderful . .

. i loved you and wanted you so . .

yes victoria my beloved . . we joined our souls then . .

as we do now. .

we became better lovers in time .

. . indeed my love . . i grew more confident in myself . .

as did i with you

. . . till that time after your father had died . . i recall . . you hadn't come to me in weeks . . i knew you were grieving . . .

you'd never acted that way

. . . i'm sorry my love . .it was bold of me . .

no dear . . you were what i needed . . .

i wasn't sure how else to reach into your being . . .

you undressed yourself in the daylight . . and stood before me

. . i was still scared to reveal myself to you that way . . .

my body stirred

. . . i sat on your lap . . your hands to my breasts. .

you kissed me . . loved me .

. . your touch was rougher than usual . .

i'm sorry love

. . . i didn't mind . . i let you touch me all over . . . even laying me on the bed . . opening my legs . . kissing my neck down to my breasts . . licking them, pulling on my nipples with your mouth . . .

you took my hand and placed it between your legs . . it was a joy to touch you so openly

. . . you kept kissing me . . moving down my body . over my stomach . . tickles turned to pleasure . . . i wanted to offer myself to you . . to let you explore me . . . my womanhood . .

how beautiful you looked lying opened to me . . my face close to you . . more aromatic and sensual than the lavender . . your body . . your essence . . filling my senses . . i wanted to kiss you there . . to explore your inner being . . licking you

. . oh yes . .

tasting you

. . oh james . .

feeling your womanly hair against my fingers and face

. . oh yes . . your lips on me . . tongue in me . .

more

. . deeper . .

you squirmed crying out

. . yes . . .

legs opened wide .

. . more james . .

you ran wet like a stream

. . oh my . .

i felt covered in your love . . . your womanliness

. . yes . . oh yes . . .

drinking in your essence . . your sex

. . you sat up . . your manhood pointed at me . . . i held it . . looking into your eyes . . . so hurt and grieving . . so needy . .

i'd never seen such love in your eyes . . .

you let me touch you . . .holding it . . stroking it . . .my other hand holding gently to your sack below . . . my husband . .

you were gentle yet the stronger of us then . . .

i don't know what possessed me . . . to urge you to your back . . so i could kiss you as you did me . . .

you were lovely and comforting victoria

. . your body so firm and strong . . the muscles of your stomach tensing whenever i touched you . . standing so firm and rigid . . like a part of your soul i wanted to touch and heal . .

you kissed me there

. . . i know . . it seemed wrong . . yet right . . .

my sigh told you it was right . . you kissed more

. . it felt so strange yet wonderful in my mouth. . .

my hips rose to meet you . . .

i made motion with my head the way my body does when you were inside me . . . your body relaxed for a bit . . . but quickly tensed again as i heard you cry out . . . i felt your seed explode into my mouth . . . strange . . salty . . yet wonderful . . .

how we held each other for that eternal moment

. . i needed you as you needed me . . .

my desire . . . my firmness never went away

. . you sat up . . . lifting me to my knees . . i wasn't sure what you wanted . . . you moved behind me . . . i was embarrassed to expose my bottom to you that way . . .

your body looked so good opened up from behind

. . . you told me how good i looked . . .

i pulled you back to me

. . i felt you press to my entrance from between my legs . . like the animals do . . . so shocking . . but so natural .

. . finding your sex again . . .

i could feel you growing so firm within me . . . then i felt proud . . not embarrassed . . to let you see all of me

. . our rhythm was perfect . . you cried out more than once . .

yes

. .

i never felt you so deep inside me

. . the tension built within me again . . . you urged me on . . faster . .

i wanted you to release again james . . . to go faster

. . oh yes . .

deeper

. . oh yes . .

hearing how wet i was . .

my love

. . i needed you james

. . and you victoria . . .

how you clenched me and gasped when you released again . . . pushing so deep inside . . filling me completely

. . . the pleasure wracked my body . . .

slowing your movements . . . bit by bit . . . till you fell over onto our bed

. . . i was spent . . .

you hadn't grieved

. . . i was ashamed to cry . .

the tears were good my love . . they healed you . . . you needed to say goodbye to him

. . . yes . . i know better now . . .

we grew wise with the ages

. . . yes we did victoria . . . we grew wise together . . .

those moments of intimacy drew us together . . . we became one

. . . . they are specters of the past for us now . . .

yes but i still enjoy the memories

. . we share them together . . .

i gave myself to you while i was able . . with all my love

. . . you were a wonderful lover victoria . . . i wanted no other . . .

yes james you have always been true to me

. . . maybe not quite true my dearest . . .

how is that my love

. . . when the parson married us he said till death doest thou part . . i said i do . . but i don't think i meant it . . .

perhaps neither did i james

. . . it is good to share . . .

yes . my love . . . i cherish this still

. . . . . i think that's why the boy comes . . . i think he comes to listen . . i think he hears . . .

no . . do you think so . . oh my. . . maybe he just comes to rest . . .

you may be right . . . he ought to be by soon . . i sense it

. . . yes my love

. . . do you wish to remain here or go to the other place . . .

let us stay here a moment longer james . . . i enjoy being here with you

. . . very well my love . . . perhaps if we keep our passion at bay we won't disturb the boy with our reminiscences . . .

Charles Merton stopped his utility cart beside the great maple tree, as was his usual custom. The sun was low against the cool New England autumn sky. He paused, listening to the wind rustle the few leaves above which had not yet fallen.

Whispers.

He'd always been drawn to this spot. When he was a child, he'd come here and lie down, spending uncounted hours looking up through the maze of gnarled branches to the wondrous sky above. Daydreaming.

Whispers

. At age 67, having worked here for 41 years, he knew every inch of the terrain thoroughly. But this spot was unique, having a special sense of mystery for him. His wife thought he was crazy the time he brought her here after closing and tried to get amorous with her. Crazy, perhaps, he thought, but her eventual submission and passion was the most erotic moment of his life. He smiled to himself, remembering that night and the times they'd shared.

Whispers

.

He walked a few steps to where the granite slab lay and kicked away the drying leaves which the wind had deposited. He stared at the worn engravings which he'd looked at so many times with curiosity and wonder:

James Allen Whittaker            Victoria Leigh Whittaker

Husband of Victoria                          Wife of James

b. 1840 d. 1897                             b. 1845 d. 1897

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May They Rest In Peace Together

* * *

The groundskeeper of the cemetery looked at his watch. "Nearly closing time," he muttered back to the breeze. He strolled back to his cart and headed for the maintenance garage. He'd return to this spot again. He always did.