Kelly smiles, putting them at ease.
"Ninety-nine percent of assistants are born to assist. For the more serious of them, it's in their DNA. They have one primary job goal -- performance. Helping you get your job done is the mark of a great assistant. It makes them happy to accomplish that because of a strong desire to do this job. Rick and Nikki fall into this category, Debi too."
"The biggest problem they face is the fear of insulting their boss, which normally results in instant termination. So, it can be said, looking through their eyes, if they do their job, they risk getting fired. They may even insult their boss without knowing they did it. Next thing they know, they've been fired. They live in fear of that unwritten rule above all else."
"So, it makes them cautious about what they say, and therefore, what they do. This conflict is their reality and it impedes their performance. The other problem they face right now is, after working here for about a year, they're starting all over with a new boss. To them, its like starting a new job."
"If you want to help Nikki and Rick, the best thing you can do for them is to remove that 'getting fired' barrier. They have no desire to insult you, nor do they want to get fired. Give them boundaries they should not cross, but at the same time, don't hold it against them if they do cross one because nobody is perfect. Do let them know and discuss it with them if it happens, however."
"Helping them means don't bring it up with a list of rules they have to follow. Get to know them personally then bring up the subject in casual conversation. Be their friend. Learn what makes them tick and your relationship will go a long way."
"As I just said, one of the best ways to break down that barrier is to get to know them. Have a personal and professional relationship with them and get to know them on both levels. Become best friends. Earn their trust. Tell them a problem you are facing and ask for help. Then, let them do what they are trained to do. They will feel better about their performance, better about their job and better about you."
"Don't be afraid to admit your shortcomings. They know you have never done this before. Ask them how they can help you. Then, just give them the opportunity and they will love you for it, not to mention help you in more ways than you will ever know. When you have achieved a great relationship, you will have both laughed and cried with them. That is the mark of a great leader, and a great assistant. I have achieved that with Brad, but it was a rocky road for me, as you well know."
"Let me share a short story with you, hoping it will help you relate to me as an assistant and the assistant's job. This is a very important lesson I learned about two weeks ago, the day before your father's funeral. It's important to me because I knew, at that time, I was doing a perfect job. But suddenly, Brad got very pissed at me in an instant and things changed in a heartbeat."
"Part of my job is to protect my boss, Brad," she says, smiling and motioning to him. "Upon learning that his parents were going on a hiking trip, I dispatched a security team to protect them as they hiked in the mountains, but for whatever reason, I neglected to explain to Brad what and why I did it. It's a normal response for me based on my training, but I failed to complete the second half of the training by not explaining why I did it to Brad."
"When his parents called his personal phone, I answered it because Brad was busy... Before I continue with my story, I must insert that I'm trained to answer phone calls as part of my job. I had Brad's phone and when it rang, I answered it by reflex. I was not thinking about what phone it was, I just answered it. Brad viewed this as me encroaching on his privacy, something I was not intentionally trying to do. I spoke to his parents and checked his emails without thinking it would cause a problem. I just wanted to help him get his work done and keep him moving to stay on schedule. That was one of the things that set him off, but that wasn't the worst thing that occurred."
"Back to the story. I chatted with his parents for a while and they told me they were hiking with a father-daughter pair they just met up with. I told Brad that and he wondered about the father-daughter. It sounded strange to him. They were the security team that was assigned the job. His parents had no clue, but Brad picked up on it immediately because we talked about security prior to this, but not about ransom."
"When Brad realized I put a security team on his parents without his knowledge, he went to immediate anger because he wasn't aware they may be in danger. It suddenly dawned on me what I didn't do. He was mad at me for two reasons, not one. He didn't yell at me, as Danny always did, but in an instant, his words were very forceful, very direct, very meaningful, very unmistakable, even a bit louder. At the time, Brad didn't understand that his parents could be targets for ransom and may possibly be in danger of being kidnaped for that purpose."
"The moment he spoke, I knew I screwed up and he was going to fire me. I was still building my relationship with him and I was suddenly aware I wasn't doing the perfect job I thought I was doing. I was very insecure and he was major mad at me. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his tone. He thought something he did put his parents in danger and I should have warned him about it."
"He was right. I should have."
"Brad laid down the law about friends and family that day. I apologized for not explaining it to him in advance, but the argument did not stop there. Brad continued badgering me about any topic I brought up, one of which was his personal phone. I did not feel I deserved the badgering so I got mad at him as a result. Later, he apologized for going off on me. I learned about one of his triggers as a result of that, and that one trigger, to this day, has been his biggest."
"Danny Packard never apologized... about anything. Brad chewed on me for three minutes for screwing up. Danny would chew on me for an hour after I screwed something up. Anyone of us for that matter."
"This argument was a huge relationship builder for the two of us, unlike previous arguments. To this day, it's the most heated discussion we've ever had. I believe a normal boss would have fired me because of it."
"I had already made two mistakes when I apologized to Brad. When I made my third mistake, I did not realize I was doing it, at the time."
"I felt relieved when he apologized. He removed the 'getting fired' barrier for me, without realizing he had done it. Was that our last argument? No. We've had several discussions since. Matter of fact, we had another one the next day, the morning of the funeral of all times, about taking time off. But, because we have established a personal relationship, we can have disagreements and still maintain a level of professionalism for our jobs. Brad understands he doesn't know everything he will face. Part of my job is to inform him based on my experience. I was Danny's assistant for five years and have seen and heard many things."
"My point being, different people react different ways. So, in order to have a good relationship with your assistant, you need to talk to them and take mental notes. Talk about anything and everything, including personal stuff. A personal relationship with them is as important as a professional relationship. Nikki will soon be your right arm, Stacy. She needs to know you as well as you know you. The more she knows, the better she can assist you."
"Wow... Thanks Kelly. Greatly needed advice. Very educational. I'll do that. I was not aware that you two had that argument either. Now I understand why Brad wants to make you lead assistant and trainer," Stacy replies.
"Understand? What does that mean, Stacy?" Brad asks.
"Well, not knowing Kelly all that well, I just assumed..."
"Assumed what? Of all people, did you really think I promoted her because she's fucking her boss?" Brad blurts out, his mind flashing back to Kelly's comment about other people's perception of her new position.
The room went completely silent as Brad's face changes expressions.
"Truth. Yeah, I sorta did."
"Peggy, you too?"
"Yeah, sorta."
Brad is pissed, and they can see it. He covers his face with his hands, not knowing what he wants to do next. After briefly thinking, he engages the problem before him.
"Let me understand this. Both of you thought the absolute worst of our top staff member and myself, based on an assumption, with no facts to back it up. Is that what I'm hearing?"
"I'm sorry Brad! That sounds terrible when it's put that way. I'm sorry Kelly!" as they both speak at the same time.
His sisters begins to feel extremely bad about what they have done. Brad is in shock at this revelation. He can't believe his ears. His demeanor changes instantly and he's not happy and even more pissed off.
"Oh my god girls! I can't believe you would think that. Shit! I thought you knew me better than that. My communication skills must really suck," he says as he gets up and stands behind his chair with his hands on the back rest. Then his hands wander over his face and through his hair, not believing what he's heard.
"God dammit!" he yells out in pure frustration.
He thinks for a bit and returns to his seat, leans back in his chair, crosses his arms in front of him as Kelly moves her hand toward him. Brad ignores her hand and she knows he's fuming. Then Brad gets himself under limited control. He thinks about the problem again, and responds.
