"Well, at least I got a foot into the stirrup" I thought as I looked around the crowded room.
For 2 years now, since my divorce had been finalized, most of my friends on both sides of the sexual war had been urging me to get back in the saddle. This place seemed too busy and far too stressful for me to even consider staying for this speed dating party.
There were more men and women here than the hotel's safety codes would allow. People were crammed in like sardines, with barely enough room to move. Almost the entirety of human society was represented here; there were people of every shape, size and ethnic strata. Only one thing united this teeming mass of humanity and that was the fact that nearly all of them were individuals, who didn't want to be. They all succumbed to the drive to blend with another. Nature seemingly made us with one glaring flaw, the need for company and to find the perfect mate. Most of these people were almost desperate to find their other half. The rest just wanted some pussy.
A quick scan around the room to try and locate my wingman Greg proved fruitless and I'd decided to retreat to the safety and solitude of my apartment when I saw her.
She sat at the bar with another woman, she looked almost as nervous as I was. I saw and felt a lot of things in that brief instance of eye contact. In my head I heard the opening line to "True Blood's" theme song. It goes "When you came in, the air went out"; and it did because I stopped breathing for the duration of our eye lock. In an instant we lived our entire lives. I saw our meeting, courtship, engagement, wedding, the births of our children then our retirement, and finally the two of us buried side by side flash through my brain. Love in a microcosm, it had never happened to me before or since. It was both a miracle and a curse, because as I came to my senses I realized how ridiculous it was.
Just as I took my first step towards the door, without even a 2nd glance at the woman, I bumped into Greg.
"Brett, you're going the wrong way" he said to me. "We're here to jump start your life. There's no time for fear, Under-dog is here. Besides, I think someone is already looking at you" he continued pointing at the dark haired woman I'd been obsessing over.
Greg had a table for us already, and we went over to it and sat down. Tables were at a premium here, obviously the organizers had over-booked the event. There was literally nowhere to sit. Almost as soon as we sat down, we noticed the two women making a beeline for our table.
The more forward of the 2, a short chunky red-head with enormous boobs, immediately stepped up and smiled at us.
"Hey" she said.
"Hey yourself" Greg said to her boobs.
Her top was so low cut that it was almost impossible to look anywhere else.
She also looked as if she didn't mind the attention to that part of her anatomy. In this case it was a truly inspired strategy since the rest of her was not nearly as remarkable.
The exchange between her and Greg gave me a chance to look at my dream girl up close. She was tall, maybe 5' 8" or 5" 9" and slender. Way smaller than her friend on top, but any more than a mouthful is wasted. Her tight tummy and heart shaped butt were in a class of their own, but her legs could stop traffic. They were just a tiny bit bigger then you'd expect for her frame, but were just exquisite. Well toned thighs that appeared to be buttery smooth and shapely calves that led into thinner ankles and delicate feet.
Looking up I saw Raven's wing black hair cut in one of those collar length asymmetric cuts that is longer on one side. As she flipped her hair out of her face I was astounded by her pale gray eyes. She had a few freckles on either side of her upturned nose, and lips that just screamed out to be chewed and licked. They weren't those over-sized fake lips, that all of the movie stars were getting. No collagen injections here; every detail of this woman was real, and perfect. I was so lost in her gaze that I didn't realize that a conversation was going on around me.
I came out of my stupor when Greg punched me on my shoulder.
"What?" I asked.
"Do we mind if they sit down with us?" Greg asked, as if he was talking to a deaf person.
"Oh. Of course not, please do" I sputtered out
"Brett, this is Rae and Timella" Greg supplied.
I remember thinking that their names fit them perfectly.
Rae the walking rack's name was short and to the point, which pretty much fit her.
Timella's name longer, multi-syllable and mysterious and also fit her. But no name could ever do this woman justice. They would literally have to invent a new word just for her, I thought.
After the ladies got settled, the conversation which was carried mostly by Greg and Rae got started.
"So what drags you guys down here?" asked Rae.
"Well I'm here trying to help my bud get his life re-started after his divorce" said Greg. "He needed a little push to get back in the game" he smirked.
"No I didn't" I said quietly, "I just needed some time"
"You've been divorced for 2 years, and haven't gone out once" he said. "His ex wife jumped ship and now plays for the other team. I knew from the first time I met her that bitch was a closeted carpet-muncher"
"Well my friend Timella is just as bad" said Rae
"Timella's a carpet munch, I mean a Lesbian?" sputtered Greg as I looked on in shock.
"No" laughed Rae "she's a loser magnet" she explained.
"If you drop her into a room full of 200 millionaires and one bum, she'll find the unemployed drunk and fall for him EFT" said Rae.
"EFT?" asked Greg
"Every Fucking Time" laughed Rae. She was rubbing his arm as they spoke and he already had his arm around her.
It was good to see that they were getting along so well. Timella and I were another story. For some reason I just couldn't think of anything to say to her even though I wanted to badly. It was partially because I wanted to think of something so witty that it would make her feel about me the way I felt about her. Then there was the abject fear that whatever I thought was incredibly cool or smart, might come across as being arrogant or just so ass-brained that she didn't want to talk to me at all. If that were to happen I'd be crushed, and suicide might not be off the table.
"High School" she said, and the world exploded around me.
Have you ever been in the middle of a rain-storm and the rain just stops and the clouds part and the sun comes out. That was the feeling I got when Timella spoke.
"High School" she had said. I analyzed the words for every nuance of meaning and subtext. The way she said those two single syllable words spoke volumes. First off there was the accent, it was soft and definitely southern. She stretched those 2 syllables into at least four. The accent was also subdued as if she'd been trying to get rid of it and sound like everyone else in Chicago. Getting rid of that accent would have been akin to painting a red mustache on the Mona Lisa.
All of a sudden I noticed that everyone at the table was looking at me. I'd gotten so lost in hearing her say those two words that it hadn't registered to me that she was trying to make conversation. I also hadn't the slightest idea of what she was talking about, so I didn't know how to respond.
"I'm really sorry" I said, "I just got lost in that wonderful southern accent of yours"
It was a desperate shot, but it was all I had, so I'd thrown it out there.
She smiled and looked away for a second, and then there it was, those gray eyes opened and just beamed at me.
I could tell that my desperate shot had scored at least a minor point.
"This is like High School" she explained. "All of the cool kids running around and hooking up left and right. The rest of us kind of slink off to the sides to hide" she said in a quieter tone.
I couldn't imagine any reason for her to ever hide, she was beautiful and becoming more so with every passing second, and I wasn't drinking yet.
"I don't think you could ever hide" I said.
"Why couldn't I?" she asked.
"Uhm, I just don't think you could" I said, too embarrassed to finish my thought.
