Quiet Betty

"You need a lot of concealer," the perfectly coiffed lady behind the counter said to Audra as she dabbed at her cheeks. "Let me go get another container."

Audra was still smarting from the comment when she vanished behind the employees-only door. "What a bitch," she muttered over her shoulder at Betty and Janice. "Don't laugh!"

"We're not," Betty said. "You're right, she shouldn't have said that."

"I mean, it's not like salesladies tell the two of you they don't have anything big enough for you two to wear, is it?"

"Gee, thanks!" snapped Janice, the largest of the trio.

"And yes, sometimes they are rude about that," added Betty, who had lost a lot of weight since college but still had large breasts that made finding the right top tricky.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Janice," Audra said. "I'm just saying, people who wouldn't shame you for being fat don't seem to have a problem shaming me just because my skin isn't flawless."

"It's not just not flawless, Audra," Janice said. "You

do

need a lot of concealer."

"Unh!"

"She probably shouldn't have said it, Audj, but Janice is right," Betty said. "It's nothing you've done wrong, just like I didn't ask for these." She looked down at the twin reminders of her past weight problems. "Your skin is a lot clearer than it used to be, too."

"Screw you both," Audra hissed under her breath as the cosmetologist returned from the stockroom with two new bottles of concealer.

As usual, Betty and Janice exchanged wry looks and opted to keep their mouths shut. They both looked on in silence as the older woman got back to her work on their friend's face. It did take a lot of concealer, but soon enough she had tomboyish Audra looking about as feminine as they'd ever seen her. "Nice job," she conceded as she assessed herself in the mirror atop the glass cabinet. "Okay, I'm sold. How much?"

"Thirty-two ninety-five per bottle plus tax," said the woman. "How many?"

"I'll stick with one," Audra said. "But this one's getting married pretty soon," she added, pointing to Betty. "You want to buy some as well?"

"I'd recommend a different shade for your skin tone," the woman said to Betty, whose Greek heritage showed in her darker skin. "Want to give it a try?"

"Not today, thanks," Betty said. "The wedding isn't until fall."

"Congratulations, anyway!" said the woman as she rang up Audra's purchase. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Lucky is right," Audra chirped. "She's way out of this guy's league."

Betty ignored her, as she'd had to do increasingly often lately. "A friend of ours from college," she said. "I barely knew him back then, but we both moved here after graduation and one thing led to another."

"He's from here originally," Audra added. "So am I. I remember coming here with my mother when I was little. Back then she couldn't even get me to try lipstick."

"We still can't for the most part," Janice said.

"Who asked you?" Audra muttered under her breath as she signed the credit card slip. "Anyway, that's why I wanted to get this stuff. So I can knock the guys dead at Betty's wedding."

"Well, I'm sure you will!" the lady said, handing Audra the little bag with a smile Betty thought looked forced. "And congratulations," she added to Betty.

"Thank you."

"No offense, Betty," Audra said as they stepped out into the mall, "But I think you should've let her give you a try too. I mean, what if she couldn't get the right look for you and you need to find someplace else? Now's the time to find out, not just before the wedding."

"That's one thing I'm not concerned about," Betty said. "I've never been big on makeup anyway, and Rob and I want to keep it low-key."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Betty knew she'd once again opened the door for Audra to needle her about what else was low-key about her relationship with Rob. Sure enough, the barb came. "Big mistake, Bets. It's bad enough you won't sleep with him before the wedding, you want to get off to a bad start that night?"

"Audra! That's none of your business!" Janice hardly ever lost her cool, but she'd been finding it happening more often all the time with Audra lately.

"I know it's not," Audra said. "But I know men, Betty. God only knows how desperate Rob is if he'll put up with you not letting him in your bed all this time -"

"Audra, I haven't been 'not letting' him do anything, all right?!" Betty had wanted so to keep that even from her two old friends, but enough was enough. "It's mutual! If you must know, he's the one who said no the first time I offered. So I haven't tried again and he hasn't brought it up either. But it's not a problem, and we love each other, all right?"

"He said no to you?" Audra looked aghast. "And you want to marry him?"

"Haven't you ever said no to a guy, Audra?" Janice asked, while Betty opted to ignore the question.

"That's different and you know it!" Audra replied. "My mom told me all about it the summer I got my period, she wanted to make sure I got it right away. It's our only power in this world and we should never take it for granted. We've got something they want."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Audra!" Janice shook her head. "Betty, I think it's great that you're respecting each other's wishes."

"Thank you," Betty said, passing over in silence that it was not her wish at all.

"If I offered a guy my virginity and he said no, he'd never darken my door again," Audra said.

Betty pretended to be reading a sale poster on the other side of the mall rather than respond to her friend's nonsense.

"It's called mutual respect, Audra," Janice said. "It's what a healthy relationship is built on."

"That's what Rob tells you now," Audra warned. "But I know men. Like my mom always said, if you want to keep him, you'd best let him know he can't take your charms for granted."

"Your twice-divorced mom?" Betty couldn't help herself.

"Ouch, Betty, that's out of line!" Janice always aimed to be the diplomatic one, but privately she didn't blame Betty.

"Oh, I'm used to it," Audra told her. Then she turned back to Betty. "Look, it's not my mom's fault Rick, and my dad before him, couldn't appreciate what a woman is entitled to. And I'm warning you - again - neither can Rob, my dear."

"Audra, come on," Janice said. "You're not the one marrying Rob, you don't have to like him."

"But I would like to know why you don't," Betty said. "Ever since the first time I went out with him, it's nothing but oh, gee, Betty, you can do better than him! And I don't even remember ever seeing you two together back on campus, all four years."

"Three," Audra reminded her; Rob was a year older than they. "And that's just it. Remember, we grew up together. One year ahead of me at school, and I don't even hold it against him for wanting nothing to do with me back when we were kids. I was the same way with the brats behind me, after all. But by college, there he was, the only person on our whole freakin' campus I already knew the day I got there, and he wouldn't even say two words to me. The man wouldn't let stupid kid stuff die even then!"

"He was never like that with me," Janice said. "I remember him smiling at me when we passed in the hall before we even really knew each other."

"Me too," Betty said. "He always had a nice word for everyone. That's why I said yes when he finally asked me out, even though I didn't feel anything at first. Thank God I took that chance!"

"Speaking of God," Audra said, "Have you got your outfit for tomorrow picked out?"

"For church, you mean?" Betty asked. The next day, she would be attending mass with Rob's parents for the first time. Never a regular churchgoer herself, she was not particularly looking forward to it, and had been doing her best not to give it any more thought than she really had to. "He didn't say anything about dressing up for it."

"He didn't say anything!" Audra scoffed. "Betty, don't you know anything about men? They don't communicate! Not about icky stuff like women's clothing, anyway!" After a dramatic sigh, she grabbed Betty's wrist. "Look, you may not like what I think about Rob, but I know what I'm talking about with his family, and with men in general. You're lucky, though, my mom's off on a retreat for the weekend, and you're about her size. Let's go over to her place after lunch and I'll find you something from her closet that'll pass muster with Rob's mother."

"Audra, that's not necessary!" Betty said.

"Oh yes it is, if you want to make nice with Rob's mom. Men's mothers never forgive the girl who stole their little boy away, or at least my grandmama never did with my mom. You don't want to make it even worse by showing up in jeans or a plain dress when they're all dolled up for the Lord." As they were approaching the restrooms, Audra handed her shopping bag to Janice. "Here, hold this. Sorry, but I just have to go wash this gunk off my face. A lot of concealer, my ass!"

"Tell me again, Jan," Betty said as soon as they were alone, "Why did we agree to move in with her?"

"Cheaper rent," Janice said. "And I don't recall her being quite this bad before she started teaching."

"God, why did she want to become a teacher in the first place?" Betty wondered out loud. "She doesn't even like kids." Neither woman could recall the last time their roommate hadn't come home in a foul mood about the brats at school.

"Oh, that's easy," Janice said. "She never wanted high school to end in the first place!"

"That makes sense," Betty admitted. "Would you, if you were her?"

"I can't imagine what I'd think about anything if I were her," Janice said. "Especially when it comes to high school." In nearly six years since they were freshman roommates, scarcely a week had gone by without Audra waxing nostalgic about her cheerleading days, the pep rallies, football games, beer blasts, pranks played on the nerds and teachers, and a seemingly endless string of boyfriends. For shy Betty and studious Janice, those four years had been the exact opposite of their roommate's glory days. Betty, just for starters, wouldn't have moved back to her hometown after college for anything.

"Same here," Betty agreed. "Oh, while she's gone, listen, Rob asked me to invite you to join us for brunch after church tomorrow, at Marty's Place."

"Oh, I love Marty's!" Janice said. "Sure! But why does Rob want me along?"

"He said it was his brother's idea," Betty said. "Nick? I didn't even know you knew him."

"I barely do," Janice said. "That time we all went to that picnic at Wagner Park? Audra was whining about the kids at school and Nick and I went off to the other side of the soccer field just to get away from her, and we ended up having a really nice conversation. Real nice guy."

"I remember that day, but I didn't know you ended up stuck with Nick," Betty said. "Sorry about that."

"Sorry?" Janice said. "He's a sweetheart! I mean, like I said, I barely know him, but it was a really nice conversation. Almost like he was one of the girls, you know?"

"Oh, okay," Betty said. "I'm glad. But I'm surprised. Rob doesn't talk about him much. I get the impression they really don't like each other too much."

"No, they're just really different," Janice said. "You wouldn't think they were brothers, really. But Nick's great."

"But you barely know him." Betty gave her friend a skeptical grin.

"Barely know who?" asked Audra, appearing out of nowhere with a clean face and water spattered on her top.

"Oh, no one you know," Betty said. There was no need to let Janice know only she was invited to brunch. "Now, about the church clothes..."

"I insist," Audra said. "Believe me, you'll thank me!"

An hour and a half later, Betty was more doubtful than ever about that as Audra ushered her into her mother's palatial bedroom, which looked like it hadn't been remodeled since the eighties. "Wait'll you see her closet," Audra said, and triumphantly she threw open the door beside the dresser to reveal a walk-in closet three times the size of Betty's cubicle at work. "You can see why she won't mind me loaning you an outfit," she declared. "Some of this stuff, she probably hasn't worn since she was our age."

"And that's just the look I want for my fiance's family," Betty said.

Janice laughed. Audra gave her a dry look and said, "Why don't you go wait on the bed?"

"Yes ma'am." Janice retreated to the bed, grateful that she was too big to have any chance of fitting into anything in the closet should Audra ever decide to "help" her.

Audra pulled out a garish orange silk dress. "Start with this," she ordered.

"Gross," Betty replied.

"Just try it!" Audra thrust the dress at Betty, who instinctively grabbed at it to avoid letting it fall. At least the silk felt nice. Betty hung it on the doorknob and reluctantly took her top off, hoping Audra would at least have the decency to turn her back.

She didn't. Betty reasoned that the sooner she humored her, the sooner it would be over.

There were, at least, no rude comments about her breasts when she took her top off. But Betty knew just what to expect when she pushed her jeans down over her hips, and sure enough, Audra's disgusted gasp rang out loud and clear. "Oh my God, Betty, no wonder you won't go to bed with Rob yet!" Not satisfied that either of her friends might have missed her point, she pointed at Betty's panties and the wisps of hair that were visible on both sides. "We have got to get you waxed!"

"Not on your life, Audra." Betty turned sideways so her bushy secret was no longer on display to her friends, but the damage was done.

"It only hurts for a second and you'll be so much sexier!" Audra said. "Seriously, let me call the lady Mom and I use. She's a miracle-worker, and frankly, that's what you need. Just how hairy are you?"

"You get waxed with your mother?" Janice asked from the bed. "That's...really weird."

"I agree," Betty said as she pulled the orange dress on; she was privately delighted to see it looked so awful even Audra couldn't possibly approve. "And I like being natural."

"Rob won't," Audra said. "This isn't 1975, Betty."

"And yet you want me to dress like it is," Betty retorted. Janice exploded in laughter, Audra gave her a dirty look, and Betty was able to tamp down the inclination to lose her temper for the moment. But a fleeting image of her detested high school locker room flashed before her eyes just the same, bringing with it some of the worst memories of her life.

And Audra wondered why she was shy!

* * *

Rob hadn't even shut the front door of his parents' house all the way before his brother, Nick, bounded down the stairs. "Do you know if Betty invited Janice to brunch?" Nick asked breathlessly.

"Good morning to you, bro," Rob said. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Come on, man, I was just asking!" Nick said. "And you haven't answered me!"

"Boys!" their mother called out from the kitchen. "None of that! I want positive vibes for church, understood?" She came into the living room, tucking her blouse into her jeans. "Especially today, with Betty joining us for the first time, understood?"

"Sure, Mom," Nick said.

Their father came in just behind his wife. "You did tell Betty there's no need to dress up for church, didn't you, Rob?"

"I didn't tell her she did need to," Rob shrugged. "She's seen me after church enough times to know."

"You didn't, then," their mother said. "Listen, I don't want any teasing if she does show up all dolled up, understood?"

"You know I wouldn't do that, Mom!" Rob said.

"Yes, but they might," she said, nodding to her husband and Nick.

"Oh come on, Anne," Dad said. "Rob is probably right anyway, and of course we won't tease her."

"Heck, I'd love it if the ladies at church wore nice dresses," Nick mused. "I'd encourage it, not make fun of it."

"Speaking of clothes..." Anne gave her son a meaningful look.

"No, I haven't told her yet," Rob said, "And I don't think I want to, honestly."

"She doesn't have to join us," Anne said. "But if she's marrying into our family, she has a right to know about it. You'd really better tell her today." Turning to his father, she added, "James, let's go?"

"Right," Dad said, and he grabbed up his keys from the cocktail table.

"Now," Nick said as soon as they were settled in the minivan their parents still hadn't bothered to trade in even though all three of their children were grown. "Did Betty ask Janice to brunch?"

"Just how long have you had a crush on her?" Rob needled.

"Answer the question, son," James said.

"Yes, Janice is a lovely young lady and your brother's feelings are none of your concern either way," Anne added in her not-to-be-trifled-with tone.

"All right, all right, yes," Rob said. "She asked Janice and she said yes. But Nick, don't get your hopes up, all right? The way she was so nice to you that day at the picnic, she's like that with everybody. It didn't mean anything."

"Rob, that's a terrible thing to say," Anne said. "And you know how shy your brother is."

"Hey!" Nick piped up.

"Oh, she's right, Nick," James said. "We're both very proud of you for trying to overcome that for once, but it's no use in pretending you're not shy."

"And Rob, you could be a good brother and have Betty ask her if there's any potential, you know," Anne added.

"I just don't want any drama with her friends," Rob grumbled.

"If there's any drama with her friends, it won't be

that

friend, and you know it," Anne said.

"Oh, man, please tell me she didn't also invite Audra!" Nick said.

"Of course not," Rob said. "Betty's not stupid."

When they pulled up outside their church, they all saw that while Betty wasn't stupid, she was a bit gullible. Rob's confidence notwithstanding, she was swathed in a pleated powder blue skirt and a ruffly white blouse, and white tights. "What did I tell you, Rob?" his father asked as they waved at her while he parked the van.

"She does look adorable, though," Anne said.

Rob thought so, too, and was sure to tell her as much when he greeted her with a kiss. "You're looking beautiful!" he said.

"Thanks, but I feel ridiculous," Betty said. "I was told you guys dressed up for church."

"By whom?" Rob asked.

"Not Audra, I hope," Anne said, also helping herself to a hug. "I should've warned you about her, Betty."

"Of course it was Audra," Betty confessed. "These are her mom's clothes, and I don't think she even knows Audra lent them to me. Guess I should've known better."

"No, no, I know you guys are friends," Anne said. "We've got a long history with her and her mother alike, I'm afraid. Rob, I wish you'd told her about that."

"So do I." Rob was relieved that Betty didn't pull her hand away when he took it. "I'll explain everything later."

"That's right, this is no time for it," Anne agreed.

Betty had to admit, it was kind of a kick being the best-dressed person in the church. It was an even bigger kick the way Rob stole a loving glance at her every now and again, obviously more enamored with her outfit than she was. A lapsed Catholic who hadn't been to any sort of mass in years, she also found she enjoyed the pastor's calls for tolerance and mutual understanding and listening to one another.

It was just what she needed after the altercation with Audra yesterday over her bush. Nearly a full day later, she was still stung by the memories that had dredged up. It was so easy now to forget how she had once loved the way it had looked and felt back when it was new, the way it had made her feel so utterly grown up and sexy, back before she'd ever had a look around a locker room to see most of the girls had scarcely half as much hair down below as she did. Before the popular girls had taken notice while she was changing, and had never let her forget she was different. Before she'd been convinced to hate her body, an affliction she still wasn't sure she was quite over.