Copyright Oggbashan January 2021
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
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"Will you marry me?" I asked.
"Which of us?" Amy asked.
"Either. Or both," I replied.
They laughed at me.
I was sitting on a settee at the evening dinner wedding reception of Brian, one of my cousins, to Cecily. It was Valentine's Day and I didn't have a girlfriend but I had two delightful women beside me. I had been Brian's Best Man and I now had two of the bridesmaids sitting either side of me. My arms were across their shoulders and they had pulled my hands down to cover a breast of each.
Amy and Angela, twins, were wearing lilac fitted dresses with the large petticoats of this 1959. They and I had been drinking too much champagne and they had been supplying me with two glasses to one of theirs. I was drunk and very aware that I had my hands on two breasts belonging to women that I loved. I didn't want to part from them so I had proposed.
Amy and Angela swung themselves inwards and kissed me on my cheeks before breaking into fits of giggles.
"What's so funny?" Rachel asked. She is the twins' slightly older sister. She too had been the third bridesmaid and was wearing an identical lilac dress.
"Ian has just proposed," Amy said.
"And that's funny?"
"He proposed to either or both of us," Amy answered.
Rachel started laughing.
"He's drunk," she said, "Did you accept?"
"No," Angela said, "We know he's drunk. We are flattered but he can't marry two twins. It is great to know Ian loves us so much that he wants to propose and we love him too -- but as a possible brother-in-law, not a husband."
My younger brothers, Stewart and Stephen, are twins too. Currently they are in their last year of National Service in the Royal Navy on a destroyer 'somewhere East of Suez'. I had finished my National Service and gone to university, getting my First last year. I had been working in the City of London for six months and was enjoying it.
"OK twins," Rachel said. "Leave Ian to me. I'll sort him out."
The twins lifted my hands off their breasts and stood up. Both bent over to kiss me full on the lips before walking away. Rachel came and sat on my lap, spreading her full skirt wide. She pulled both my hands to her breasts.
"Ian," She said in a serious tone, "You're drunk. I know you love the twins but they are going to marry your brothers, even if the brothers don't know it yet. And you? You are going to marry me."
What could I say? Nothing because Rachel had wound her arms around my head and was kissing me very effectively. When the kiss ended she rested a hand across my mouth.
"Just listen for a while, Ian."
She kissed me on the forehead.
"You have been there for all three of us since we started school. You behaved like a protective elder brother and we love you for it -- yes, all three of us. Even my Mum loves you. Our father? He likes you and would be happy if you were his son-in-law. You will be, but as my husband, not of one of the twins. What I really mean is that I am proposing to you. It is Valentine's Day, so I can. But because you are drunk I don't expect you to reply now. After this reception I am taking you back to my flat and you will stay the night. If you are sober tomorrow? I'll propose again and then you can answer. OK?"
She took her hand away from my mouth.
"OK, Rachel, if that's what you want."
"It is, Ian, and I want you and I'm not letting my sisters have you..."
Rachel kissed me again. Just then the bride, Cecily, came across to us.
"Rachel, could I have a word with Ian, Please?" Cecily asked.
Rachel climbed off my lap and sat beside me. I was surprised when Cecily spread her even wider skirts and sat on me.
"Ian," Cecily said, "Thank you for being Brian's Best Man. He was petrified but you supported him as a friend should. I was afraid he wouldn't make it or would be sick but you were great for him. And thank you for your speech too. It was just right with enough humour and nothing to embarrass either of us."
Cecily bent forward and gave me a passionate kiss.
"Cecily!" I protested. "You're a married woman now!"
She laughed.
"Yes, Ian, I am. But I'm now part of your wider family. We're kissing cousins."
She demonstrated with another kiss.
"Cecily, please can I have Ian back now?" Rachel said plaintively.
Cecily kissed me again before climbing off.
"Of course, Rachel, but I will be kissing Ian every time I see him. I owe him a lot."
"So do I, Cecily, but I want him -- for me," Rachel replied.
"OK, Rachel. He's yours. But he is part of my family."
The twins returned with more champagne as Rachel climbed back on my lap.
"I want him as my husband, Cecily," Rachel said.
"And we want him as part of our family too, Cecily." Angela said. "He loves all three of us."
"That makes four of us whom he loves and who love him," Cecily replied before leaving.
"Four women who love me?" I asked. "Even if one has been married for only a couple of hours. And I haven't had a girlfriend for two years. What have I been doing wrong?"
The twins sat either side of me and pressed against me.
"Wrong?" Angela asked. "You've been working too hard, Ian, that's all."
"And there are many of our friends who would have taken the vacant position," Amy said.
"Which is why I have claimed you, Ian," Rachel said. "If I hadn't, there might have been others after you."
"You've claimed him?" Amy said. "But he proposed to us less than half an hour ago."
"Maybe, but he was drunk. I've proposed to him now but I'll let him sober up before I expect him to reply."
"How are you getting home, Ian?" Angela asked. "You're too drunk to drive."
"I was going to walk," I said. "It's just over a mile."
"No, you're not. The Bridesmaids' car is taking the three of us home. You're coming with us, Ian," Angela said.
Rachel and I are buying small flats in a modern apartment block and the twins are buying another together. It made sense for all of us to share a car.
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The bride and groom left, in a chauffeur-driven hire car arranged by me. I tried to stand up to see them go. I couldn't. The three bridesmaids left me to go outside and wave the happy couple off on their trip to a seaside hotel.
When they returned, Rachel and the twins laughed at me before all three surrounded me and propped me up. I was staggering as we went to the bridesmaids' car. They pushed and pulled me inside before the twins sat either side of me. My legs were hidden under their wide skirts. Rachel sat beside the driver. A couple of minutes later they had to extricate me from the car and hold me up into the block of apartments and to the lift. They took me into Rachel's flat and sat me on the edge of the bed.
Rachel searched my pockets for my flat key and went to get my overnight things.
"I need the toilet," I announced.
The twins helped me into the toilet but they had to extricate my tool and hold it while pissed. They eased it back into my trousers and the three of us weaved our way back to the bedroom. They pushed me onto the bed and took my shoes off.
"We're going to get you ready for Rachel," Amy announced.
I didn't know what she meant until the two of them started stripping me. I was no help. My hands and arms wouldn't do what I wanted them to do. Two attractive young ladies stripping me made me erect despite the alcohol.
"I'm jealous of Rachel," Angela said. "Ian may be drunk, but that looks impressive."
"And we can't do anything with it," Amy said. "Ian is in no state to agree and Rachel will be back soon."
They eased the duvet out from under me and spread it over me. They sat at the head of the bed with their lilac skirted legs alongside my head. Their hands stroked my head before they moved down to put their breasts either side of me.
When Rachel returned she said:
"I wanted you two to look after Ian but I didn't expect you to smother him."
"He's enjoying it," Amy said. "Look."
She pointed at my erection tenting the duvet.