I inhaled the crisp and clean morning air. The car was cold and I could feel the metal sting my skin through my sweater as I leaned against it. I looked down again at my watch, almost time. I made my way along the fence and waited at the gate, the doors would open soon. It seemed like forever and then the heavy doors started to click and swung open. Four guys walked out with duffel bags of belongings bulging with items. I didn't care so much about them, their was one more solitary man walking down the path behind them. He seemed to take everything in and glanced back and forth every so often. I already knew what he was looking for. I stepped over from behind the shadow of the gate and I felt his eyes find me. He was no longer walking back behind the other guys, he was sprinting towards me, his bags left on the ground in the walkway. I took in a deep breath of air as he came towards me and picked me up off of my feet spinning me around. He put me down and held me close to him.
"Your even more beautiful than the last time you came to visit."
I smiled back at him not sure how to respond to this compliment, I sure wasn't used to hearing things like this.
"You better go get your bags before someone else walks out of those doors and takes them."
I was a little uneasy in this situation and not really sure how to handle what was probably going happen. This man that I was picking up from prison was a friend of my best friend's boyfriend. A year ago she had encouraged me to write to him as he and her boyfriend Joel were doing time together and he was quite lonely. Against my better judgment I had picked up a pen and sat down one night to right him a quick letter. Now here I was, ready to pick him up on his release day.
He returned to me with his bags and we walked to the car. I opened the trunk and he set them inside and pushed it closed. We both stopped and looked at each other. His easy smile put me at ease and I felt like just maybe this was going to turn out to be just fine and everything would work out.
I got in the car and he climbed into the passenger seat awkwardly. We left the parking lot and pulled onto the two lane country highway.
"So what do you want to do first now that your free?" I asked the question and immediately started to blush knowing that he had told me a hundred times, in detail, in his letters exactly what he wanted to do when he got out. His low chuckle let me know that he had not forgotten. My stomach continued to do flip-flops.
"Well, how far away is the hotel?"
"The closest one I could find with a decent rate was in Pittsburgh, I drove the three hours from there to here this morning."
He ignored me for a moment and continued to look out the window.
"That's pretty far away. You couldn't find anything closer?"
"I looked but I also knew that you wanted to do some shopping, since you have no clothes, and I figured you would want to get something to eat since you haven't had a meal other than jail food in three years, and I knew that this was closer to your moms house so you could see your son ." My voice trailed off, I knew that I was rambling, I was so nervous. I looked over at him and I knew that he could tell. He reached out and put his hand over mine where it was resting on the center console. My skin felt on fire.
"Its OK. I was curious is all. I am so thankful to have you here right now, you have no idea how happy I was to see you standing there and waiting for me. I feel like the most lucky man to be here with you right now."
Really he had no idea just how lucky he was. I had come quite close to not picking him up that morning. My nerves had almost gotten the better of me.
I lived in Georgia, quite a distance from Pennsylvania. I had written to him for the past year and our letters had gotten more and more personal as we got to know each other. After a few months he asked if he could call me and he started calling me once or twice a week. In the past year he had never once asked me for money, or to accept a collect call, he always bought a phone card to call me. We grew closer and closer and he was quite clear in his letters that he wanted to start his life over and he wanted it to be with me. I had responded that I cared for him as I had gotten to know him, but I had been hurt so much in the past that I was wary and not sure of what I had wanted to do. He had promised to be patient and we had left things at that. I had been to visit him twice when my friend had gone to visit Joel, her boyfriend. They were not contact visits, I could just talk to him on a phone, but at least I could see him.
I looked over at him and he had placed his head against the car window, his eyes were closed and I could hear that his breathing had slowed. He had told me the night before on the phone that he couldn't sleep because he was so excited to get out. I was sure he was exhausted from all of the emotions. I continued to drive on the narrow, windy road as we wove through fields and next to dairy farms where the distinct odor of many livestock in a small area wafted through the car.
I myself had not been in a relationship for quite a period of time. It had been almost two years since I had last been with a man. My ex boyfriend Ryan was mean and angry and our relationship had turned into an abusive nightmare. A nightmare I did not plan on reliving any time soon. So when Hilda had asked me to write her boyfriends cell mate I didn't see the harm. I was single and I didn't really have anyone to talk to. I had just broken up with Ryan and moved home to live with my parents. His letters had gotten me through some dark months in my life. I had then saved up some money and moved to Georgia and we had continued to write to each other while I kept him up to date on how my new life was going. Then I had come to realize that his release date was quickly approaching. He wanted me to be the one to pick him up and he was quite clear about what he wanted to do with me when I did. I had replied to him that I was unsure of things and would love to see him and then see how things went. This had seemed to satisfy him to a point. I agreed to pick him up, and now here I was.
I settled back into my seat and continued to drive. I was now sure that he was sleeping soundly so I took a few moments to look over at him. Chris had a very nice body. He had frequently written to me and told me about the vigorous work outs he put his body through every day. It had certainly paid off. His arms were thick and muscular and I was sure that so was the rest of him. He had a warm complexion and dark hair, he was Italian and it was obvious to me that he was. I found myself looking over every so often at him. I had a hot and handsome man in my car and all he wanted was me and yet I was afraid. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I wasn't so bad looking myself. I went to the gym five days a week, I was always eating healthy. I had pale skin dotted with freckles and strawberry blonde hair to go along with it. He could definitely do a lot worse. Why was I feeling so insecure?
After another hour and a half the signs were increasing and I could see the city in the distance. I reached over and shook Chris, I was going to need his help. He woke up, startled by my touch and shook his head as if to clear it.
"I don't really know where anything is. Your going to have to tell me how to get to the mall or somewhere where you can shop. Our hotel is in two exits."
"Just take the exit for the hotel and I'll just run into Wal-Mart and buy a pair of jeans and some shirts to wear until I can get some money from my mom."
He directed me to the Wal-Mart and we went inside and he quickly picked out a few items and went to the cash register. The cashier told him the total and I he frowned and started to ask if he could take some things off of the bill. I nudged him out of the way and slid my credit card through the card reader and signed. He took the bags and we silently walked to the parking lot.
