Lila stared at her reflection. It was like staring at a stranger. Each feature was the same, but she was somehow altered. Amazingly enough, once she'd gotten Katie to calm down she had taken a shower and gone to bed to fall straight asleep. She hadn't thought about her first sexual experience, the bastard she'd had it with, the possibility she might be pregnant or the humiliation that she'd betrayed herself so easily to a complete stranger.
It sort of felt like she was still asleep, everything seemed removed and disconnected. It was probably a blessing because she'd taken the news grandmother had given a few minutes ago quite well because of it.
"Lila, Michael will be coming by after 5 today. He has made reservations for dinner so dress accordingly. He has agreed to this arrangement and it is only fitting that the two of you get better acquainted. Now darling, I understand his behavior last night was unfortunate and you may have some reservations towards this marriage. But we should remember that Michael is a very independent individual. He has been on his own since a very young age. I should've realized that he wouldn't take very well to... direction. Perhaps I should have given him more time to adjust to the idea before introducing you. But all's well that ends well, and the boy has come around. "
Lila didn't say a word. She couldn't verbalize the dread that filled her stomach at her grandmother's words. How could she? She owed her grandmother so much. It was better to sacrifice then disappoint the only person in the world that mattered to her, besides Katie. Unlike her grandmother and sister, Lila had no knack for business and had never been able to add anything worthwhile to the family empire.
Michael Hirsch may hate her but marrying him would insure the stability of the company. Katie was too impulsive and green to take over at the moment and grandmother's health wasn't what it used to be.
A normal day would have been spent volunteering. She would be walking shelter animals, organizing fundraisers or charity events. While she had no drive or talent for business, she strangely excelled in working in the non-profit arena. Katie thought that she was being stubborn, that the talent she used in her charities could be utilized at Sebastian Industries. What Katie didn't understand that Lila performed well in volunteering because she felt needed. At Sebastian Industries... there was no need for her.
She'd thought she was starting her period when she woke up this morning, only to realize it was the wrong time of the month and the ache was due to what happened the night before. A long soak in the bathtub had her feeling much better. Pinning up her hair into a low bun, light make-up and her purple v-neck jersey sundress had her feeling confident. She could do this. The strange mood she'd woken up to this morning would help her stay aloof, calm and together. Michael Hirsch would not meet the same Lila he had last night.
Lila looked away from the mirror and went downstairs to settle in the library. If she could lose herself in a good horror book, she would manage to stay distracted. Instead of reading, she found herself staring out the window. Suddenly she heard footsteps coming down the hall. Lila abruptly straightened. As soon as her gaze connected with jade green eyes, the calm stillness shattered into a million pieces and the world came to life, leaving Lila feeling front, center and exposed. She felt the prickles begin in her armpits, the first sign of glands preparing to sweat, and quickly looked down as tears began to sting her eyes. Good god, what was wrong with her? Why was she so inept?
Michael froze in the doorway. God damn it. She looked achingly beautiful as he remembered but so sad. He'd been a complete asshole to her. He should apologize, just as he was about to open his mouth he realized Barnes was still behind him. No, he wasn't apologizing in front of Dame Ballbuster's lapdog. They needed to get out of here so they could be alone. He cleared his throat, "Lila, you ready?"
******************
Michael glanced at Lila. She had sat quietly for the ride so far, a quick look at his dashboard let him know that only 15 minutes had passed but it seemed like it had been an hour. She sat stiffly, her head turned to look out the passenger side window. He had a feeling that sitting in a restaurant wasn't going to help her or him unwind any. He suddenly pulled the car over to the side of the road.
Startled, Lila turned towards him, her nervousness forgotten. Once again their eyes connected and held until Lila looked away down to her lap.
"This isn't going to work." Michael announced.
Lila looked back up, "What?"
"This. This isn't going to work. Look I need to apologize."
Lila felt her stomach churn, was he changing his mind about marriage?
"Yesterday, I was angry and I'm not a nice guy when I'm angry. I'm sorry I took it out on you." Feeling strangely relieved, Lila looked back up at him but he was staring intently at the steering wheel.
"This is awkward and I don't think a restaurant is going to be the right place to help us relax and talk. How about we go for some pizza instead?"
He looked back up and Lila quickly looked away to avoid meeting his eyes. She didn't really feel like going to a restaurant either. She nodded.
"Great."
A few minutes later they pulled onto a residential street. The homes weren't very new but the neighborhood seemed safe and clean. They pulled into a driveway of a single story unobtrusive home. It was neat and clean but certainly not what she'd imagined his home would be like. She'd pictured him in a sleek penthouse type place. His business was successful, what was he doing in this modest neighborhood.
"I thought we were going to for pizza?" Lila asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, we'll order in. My place isn't much but it's cozy and private unlike the mausoleum you call home."
Lila bit her lip, wondering if he was making another dig at her expense. She didn't know what to make of him; he had almost been nice earlier. The apology was a step in the right direction. But she felt a little afraid of him after being on the receiving end of his cruelty yesterday. "Uh, I shouldn't have said that. It came out wrong. It's a beautiful mansion but not to my taste."
Michael excused himself shortly after they entered the house. Lila sat on the single couch in the family room. So he didn't like her home? Would that mean he wouldn't be moving in after marriage? Would this be her new home? Lila looked around in interest. It was bare but clean. It looked like there had been some updates. There was crown molding in the dining room and family room. Granite countertops gleamed from the kitchen. It was small but could be cozy with a few small additions.
Michael came back in wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Lila felt the nervousness creep back up again. She watched him pick up his cell phone and make the order over the phone. His well worn jeans lovingly cupped his butt and his t-shirt stretched over broad shoulders outlining the v shape of his upper torso. She tried to keep the image of that same torso moving over her body from yesterday and was partially successful. Somehow she would hold it together.
He came back into the room and took a seat on the other end of the couch.
"Pizza should be delivered in half an hour." Lila nodded.
"Look, I apologized earlier but I want to emphasize that I really am sorry. I can have a short temper but I've never taken it out on a woman. Being blackmailed and controlled by Dame- uh your grandmother brought me to a new low. It was everything last night... the party, the suit, having this business that not only I but also my friend spent so much blood and sweat building being threatened... I was out of control. If you marry me, I promise I will do my best to not ever treat you to that side of me again."
Lila looked up at him, straight into his eyes and saw genuine remorse. She looked away and after a slight pause and sighed.
