This is just a quick little ditty that I thought someone might get a kick out of... not to be taken too seriously.
*****
Sweetest Princess Juniper,
You have stolen my heart, my sweet cherry pie. I love you more than anything in this world. I would give you the stars in the sky. You will taste so good when we finally are together.
Love always,
Periwinkle
"He's so dreamy," cooed Princess Juniper, clutching the letter to her substantial bosom. The lovely young princess had long golden hair, angelic, innocent features and an enticingly curvaceous figure. She was only eighteen years old and had never felt this way about someone before.
The Princess's older sister Marigold rolled her eyes. "I don't know Juniper," she warned. "That line about you tasting good is a little creepy."
Juniper shook her head vehemently. "Periwinkle is talking about the taste of my soft lips. He said they were like rose petals last week, and something about my flower too."
Marigold sighed and shook her head. "But he's a pauper!" she complained. "And besides. You haven't even seen him, he might be ugly."
Juniper was not listening to her sisters arguments. "Love is blind. I don't care what he looks like," Juniper was staring out the castle window, imagining the sight of her handsome pauper dream man. "I know what his heart is like from the words he writes to me. He is beautiful."
"You're ridiculous," scolded her older sister. "He's a peasant, and we know nothing about him. There's no future for you. Father would never let you marry a pauper."
Princess Juniper gave a sad sigh. She was still staring longingly out of the castle window. "I know. But love will conquer all. Periwinkle said that our love is stronger than any castle wall. We will be together."
The beautiful princess stared down at her treasured love letter one more time, taking in the romantic words her pauper darling had written. There was a grubby smudge near the bottom of the letter, just below his name.
Juniper clutched the letter to her breast again and let out a wistful sigh as she pictured her handsome sweetheart taking her in his arms. "We'll find a secret place in the woods and live off the land," she told her sister, her eyes vacant as she pictured their perfect life. "I don't need riches or castles. I just need the love of my Periwinkle."
Princess Marigold wrinkled her nose. "I'd prefer Prince Oleander," she told her younger sister. "Not only is he handsome and brave, he's also even richer than father."
Juniper shook her head. "That's so shallow. What me and Periwinkle have is true love."
Marigold sighed in defeat. "You're crazy," she told her sister as she stood up and headed for the door. "I'm going to do some needlework."
Juniper smiled happily, stepping away from the bedroom window and walking over to her writing desk. She reached into the bodice of her dress and carefully pulled out a key that was concealed deep in her impressive cleavage.
Princess Juniper sat down at the desk and unlocked the drawer, sliding it open. She then pulled open a secret panel at the bottom of the drawer, revealing a small pile of letters. With a contented sigh, she placed the new letter on the top of the pile and then closed the secret panel and locked the drawer shut.
She took a sheet of fresh parchment and placed it on the centre of her desk, smoothing it out with both hands as she considered her reply. Juniper took a quill and dipped the tip in her pot of ink.
Dearest Periwinkle,
When will we be together? I dream of you every night and every day we are apart. My heart, body and soul belong to you.
Lots of love,
Your cherry pie.
Juniper gave a small sigh as she re-read her letter. She was always careful not to sign her own name. If her father the king new that she was writing love letters to a peasant then he would end it, and probably end lovely Periwinkle too.
She pursed her full, ruby-red lips and blew softly on the letter to dry the ink. She then carefully folded the letter and sealed it with a small blob of wax.
Princess Juniper then stood up and went to her bedroom door, peering out into the hallway. There was a young guardsman standing on duty, holding a tall halberd and dressed in a royal blue surcoat.
"Cal, get in here," she whispered.
Guardsman Caladium had served as Princess Juniper's personal guard for the past six years. In that time, the young soldier had watched the princess transform from an awkward young teenager, into one of the most beautiful women in the kingdom. Princess Juniper's beauty was famed throughout the realm, and Caladium considered himself truly blessed to be able to gaze upon her on a daily basis.
"I need you to deliver another letter Cal," Juniper told him as she ushered him into her room and pushed the door shut to ensure they were in private.
Caladium glanced nervously at the door. If he was found alone with the beautiful princess, his days as a guard were numbered. "It's too dangerous," he stammered anxiously. "I could be thrown in the dungeon if I get caught."
Princess Juniper sighed in annoyance. "I thought we had an arrangement?"
The guardsman swallowed, unable to help himself from glancing down at Princess Juniper's deep cleavage. The bodice of the priceless gown she was wearing was laced tightly across her magnificent bosom, the plump upper slopes of her ample melons swelling up enticingly from the low cut neckline of the dress.
Juniper caught the guards gaze and looked even more irritated. "Do you want to see them again then?" she said impatiently.
Caladium's throat went dry. "Yes please," he whispered, his voice fading to a scratchy croak.