To everyone who takes the time to get to know me by reading my work, thank you. I hope that you enjoy this installment as well as the others posted previously.
I also look forward to your feedback/comments.
With sincere gratitude, K. Carmichael
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IV.
I planned on learning more about Blake from Tonya but when she cancelled her meeting with me I knew I had to take things into my own hands. Samson had told me that he would drop the forms off at the church but I knew that he would be out of town Saturday and that would be the perfect opportunity to fetch them myself. I didn't have a clue of what I was going to say or what she would say to me but I had to see her. She had to know what she was doing to me.
Here I was lusting after another mans woman.
Samson's family played a big part at St. Peter and I knew I couldn't do anything to mess that up. And with Tonya chasing behind me like a bitch in heat meant I had to tread lightly. Her husband, Deacon Moore was a big contributor to St. Peter. All it took was for Tonya to shake her ass and butter him up for him to be at her beck and call.
Getting into my SUV I didn't even mind being soaking wet from the rain.
Part of me felt guilty and the other part rejoiced.
All I wanted to do is talk with her but I had taken it too far by kissing the soft spot beneath her ear. Walking behind Blake to the bedroom and watching her pull my pants down I couldn't help but mentally beg her to put me out of my misery. I wanted anything that she was willing to give me. Weeks ago when Tonya sucked my dick I wanted to treat her like the whore she was. Blake and I had never had a verbal conversation but our spirits seemed to meet.
Have you ever wanted someone so bad that it hurts? I don't mean the kind of hurt that comes from being sexually frustrated or deprived, but the kind that even when your bodies are joined and you can feel her legs wrapped around your body, you still want to be closer.
Closer than close?
That's how I felt lying there with tears running down my face. When I felt my release begin to come and she looked into my eyes, I thought I would lose it. I couldn't dare push her away like every woman that I had experienced before and there have been many.
I don't even remember riding home in the pouring down rain. It's like my mind was in a daze as I drove. I couldn't wait until service tomorrow because I had a lot of praying to do for the things my mind were thinking of doing, and as awful as it feels to admit, a lot of praising for what had just been done.
Since Samson wouldn't be there I would have a chance to talk to her again.
I hated being this anxious.
I wanted to call her last night but how could I?
Minister Stokes was giving his sermon that always left the crowd wondering what was wrong with him. It seemed like all of his sermons had sexual undertones and if it wasn't that, then it was about money. Even though it was the 'same ol' same ol' I didn't mind because he was also always brief and to the point.
Why wouldn't she look at me?
She looked into my eyes yesterday but wouldn't even glance my way today?
I could feel myself getting a little angry.
I've let her taste a part of me that no woman has ever tasted and she won't even acknowledge my presence with a simple movement of her eyes?
And to make matters worse I couldn't see her as well as I wanted to because of the distraction of Sister Abigail's hat in front of her.
I felt that possessive streak begin to come back inside of me.
Minister Stokes was wrapping his sermon up because I could hear Deacon Sinclair start his "amen's" and the piano player begin to rattle the keys.
Coming from California I realized that things can be rather different in the south. For one, the way of living is MUCH slower and it seems as if pork makes everything taste better. And when its time for the preacher to stop preaching, the piano player leaps to the piano, tickles a couple of keys which make the preacher 'whoop' and 'holler' and if you don't get the cue by then, the church makes sure to agree to every word that you say. But this didn't happen with me because I'm more of a teaching type. I don't get all sweaty and lose my voice to get the message across.
"The doors of the church are now open. If there is anyone here who doesn't know Christ in the pardon of your sins, would you come?"
Minister Stokes waited several minutes while he eyed the congregation before he continued.
"We've invited but we see there is none, yet there is still room." he declared before taking his seat and wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead.
Shaking his hand and giving him a cup of water I stood to dismiss the church.
I could feel my body racing trying to get to her. I knew that she didn't have any friends here other than Ruth and if I didn't approach her soon she would leave.
Why in the hell does everyone want to talk to you when you have an objective? Damn.
Before I knew it she was rounding her heels to walk out the door.
"Excuse me Ms. Clareon, may I have a second?"
I could see her begin to look around to see who was watching.
"I actually have something to do."
"I'm sorry but that wasn't exactly a question."
The look she gave me was one of unexpectancy. She waited for me to begin to speak.
"I'll let you go but we need to talk."
With everyone walking past I didn't want anyone to notice the facial expressions that passed between the two of us. She must have felt it too because she placed a false smile across her face and asked me when.
"As soon as you're free."
"I'll be in touch Pastor Bronson." I could tell that she wouldn't.