Author's note: Kai was a supporting character in
Lying by Omission.
Here, I had him move from being a public defender to being a Crown prosecutor in another jurisdiction, which isn't an uncommon thing in the southern Ontario court system.
Content warning: mention of domestic abuse.
"Hey, new guy!"
Kai Te'kao knew he should have ignored the group of male prosecutors around the picnic table outside the courthouse his first week of work. God knows he didn't want to turn around, much less answer them. But he was, in fact, the new guy in the office and that came with the necessary evil of making an effort to socialise with his colleagues.
He thought he might accomplish that goal during small exchanges when court wasn't in session. At least in that scenario, he'd get his lunch times to himself and have a chance to suss out who he could and couldn't stand in the Crown's office.
"Come on, Australia," Gary Roebottom shouted again, prompting Kai to finally break his stride and redirect himself toward the outdoor eating idea on the south side of the courthouse building.
"It's New Zealand," he told them once he reached the table.
"Right," Gary said, moving over. "But all I know is that accent must get you laid with Canadian women."
Is that an appropriate thing to say at work?
Kai wondered to himself, looking for reactions from the other male lawyers around the table. He found none, indicating Gary seemed to be the ringleader here. A little stunned but not knowing what else to do, he took a seat and vowed he'd only stay a few minutes before heading around the corner for a sandwich.
"Uh... I dunno, mate, I was at the Oakville courthouse for a couple of years and I just bought a place up in Caledon, so working out of Brampton seemed like it was an easier commute." He hoped Gary would take the hint and be a little less personal going forward.
"Aren't you from a tropical paradise?" another colleague asked to Kai's relief. "How'd you end up on this giant ice floe?"
"My grandmother's Canadian so I have dual citizenship. The cost of living in Aotearoa is astronomical and I know it's not a whole lot better here, but it's still better. So I came here for law school and go back now and then to visit family."
"You've been here since law school and you're still single?" Gary asked to Kai's irritation. "Tell me you're just playing the field, man."
He'd been told by former girlfriends the accent wasn't the only thing he had going for him. At 6'3" and 190 lbs with mocha skin and curly black hair, he knew his old flames especially loved the Maori tattoo that climbed up his left arm and sprawled over his shoulder. But none of this was anything he wanted to discuss with Gary of all people.
"You know, I'm not really comforta--"
"Holy hell, look at Jane's ass in that skirt, like it was suctioned in," Gary ogled a defense attorney who was a regular at the courthouse. Kai was stunned speechless and again looked around at the nonchalant faces around him, wondering what was wrong with the other men. "God, if I could motorboat that rack, I'd die a happy man."
What the actual fuck is this place?
Kai marveled.
"Is this a common thing in Brampton?" he asked out loud. "Sexualising colleagues?"
"That's just Gary," another Crown replied, as all eyes at the table turned to him. "He's all talk but he doesn't mean anything by it."
"The fuck I don't," Gary smirked. "If I could be sure we'd never be on a case opposite each other, I'd be on her like a bitch in heat." When Kai looked away in open disgust, Gary playfully nudged him with his elbow.
"Come on man, I'm just trying to hedge my bets. You'd agree I'm one of the better-looking lawyers around here, right? I could probably score some T and A with her." Kai was done here.
"Yeah, she's alright," Kai said as he spotted an opportunity about 30 metres away from where they sat. He hadn't been in Brampton for long, but he'd been down to the filing office and met a few of the clerks there. He'd also learned who was related to whom.
"I think I'd rather prefer that one over there." He pointed at a blonde woman making her way across the courthouse lawn and kept talking before Gary could interject.
"Mate, I'd fuck her frontways, sideways and out the back door if she let me. That little slut isn't gonna be able to walk the next week, let alone the next morn--"
"Hey, lay off, man!" Gary protested. "You know that's Casey!"
"So? I can't fuck her tight little ass just because she's your sister? Seems I'd have a better chance since she already thinks I'm cute," Kai smirked, lowering his voice. "But on second thought, she's only out of college, isn't she? I bet that split beaver is just as tight."
"Geeeez, stop it man, you're disgusting!" Gary's tone rose.
"What? You don't want a guy for your sister who could make her come so hard she'd remember it on her deathbed?"
"Fuck you, asshole!"
"Oh, so when it's
your
sister, she's worthy of esteem? But when it's someone else's sister or daughter or--forget that, when it's
someone else
it's all good to talk about her like she's a blow-up doll?" The deafening silence around the table said it all.
"I didn't say all that to piss you off or be a creep; I said it because there isn't a way I can find any respect for you if you don't stop this shit," Kai spoke slowly and measuredly as he stood up. "And there isn't a way we can work together if I don't respect you.
"So either stop being a degenerate, or the next time we have this conversation I'm gonna be talking about fucking your mother sideways." Kai met Gary's defiant eyes with his own raised eyebrows before he sauntered off toward the sandwich shop.
***********
There has to be a better place to have lunch than here,
Kai thought a few days later as he sat in his driver's seat with a veggie wrap, parked by the loading dock of the FreshMart. Why was it so hard to make friends as an adult, he wondered.
Right, because I can't suffer jackasses.
