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CHAPTER 5
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With Serena gone, I suddenly had time by myself. Before Serena, I didn't mind that so much. I used to have lots of that. I tried to busy myself with housework. I cleaned things. I did laundry. But I couldn't stop thinking about her.
I went grocery shopping. I found Jen at the checkout and got in her line. She frowned as I came up. "You look terrible."
"Well thank you," I said sarcastically. Then I immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I've got things going on."
She rang up my items. "It's okay. Hey, I'm going to talk to Heather tonight."
I perked up, knowing she meant she was going to come out of the closet to her best friend. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I talked to Eric a little yesterday. He said the same thing you did, to just be honest. It sucks having to hide myself. I want people to accept me for who I am."
I nodded. "Yes. Exactly." Then I thought about Serena. Am I accepting her the way she is? Or am I trying to force her to be who I want her to be?
I said to Jen, "One more thing," and ran off to the nearby flower case. I picked up some daisies and came back. "Those too," I told Jen.
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I dropped off the daisies and a note of my own on Serena's front porch. Then I drove off, sending her a quick text message: 'Check your porch.'
My note said:
'Serena - If you need time, it's yours. Whatever you want, whatever you decide, let me know and I'll be there. - Patrick'
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I expected to have a lonely night. Serena's note had said that she'd talk to me tomorrow. So I was shocked when the doorbell rang around 5:30 that evening.
I hoped it was Serena. I was shocked when I opened the door and saw Eric standing there. "What are you doing here?" I asked with a smile.
He held up a six-pack of beer. "I'm here because of Jen," he started. We sat on the front porch, drinking beer, as he explained that Jen told him I was looking upset at the store, and could use a friend.
"You came all this way just for me?"
"Well, yes, but also to see Jen and talk to her in person. I just left her house a minute ago," he told me. "I gave her a pep talk for tonight."
I nodded. "I hope it goes well," I said.
"So what about you?" asked Eric. "I don't see a certain young blonde around here anywhere."
"Yeah." I didn't tell Eric all the details from the previous night. But I did tell him the bare bones of it: Serena and I were in love, and it scared her to think about it because she knew she'd be leaving.
Eric nodded along, listening to me talk. When I finally finished, he was silent for just a moment. "I did tell you," he finally said.
"I know."
"I'm glad you didn't listen."
"I - What?" That wasn't what I expected him to say. "What do you mean by that?"
"You're in love with a good woman, and she loves you back. That's not a bad thing."
"But she's leaving after the show wraps up."
Eric shrugged. "But you had a good time, right?"
"Yes." I didn't have to think about that one. "We have good times together. She's a good friend, and we have fun."
"So the problem here isn't the love part," Eric pointed out. "Loving each other shouldn't be a problem. The real issue is that she's leaving, and you want her to stay."
I thought about that one. "I know she won't. But I do wish that."
"And, even if you can't solve that particular problem, does that make you love her less?"
"No. I still love her."
"So you still want to be with her, at least for now?"
"Yes," I answered. This is why I loved Eric. He always had a way to talk me through my problems. He was my best man at my wedding to Kelly, and I swore I'd give him the job again if I ever got married again. "But, what if she doesn't want to be with me anymore?" I asked.
He waited for a few seconds, staring off in the distance, past me. "Why don't you ask her that?" he said, pointing that direction.