Paul watched the nubile young blond come walking down the street, racket in hand, attired in another excruciatingly hot little tennis skirt. He was almost positive that she didn't wear a bra when they played tennis or if she did, it was very thin. He had watched her nipples harden on more than one occasion during a tennis match. Sharon was a couple of inches shorter than his wife, blonde versus brunette and, unlike his wife had a delightful little bubble butt.
His wife had an unremarkable butt; Sharon's tits were smaller than Pamela's but very enticing; they stood up firm and proud while Pamela's had developed some sag after two children. Pamela liked fucking and was very orgasmic; she had become more adventurous over their eight year marriage. They'd experimented with some minor bondage and spanking and it got her hot. She loved to have her sweet little pussy eaten and had recently come to enjoy a finger up her butt. She'd shown a keen interest in fucking outside and in the car; she'd often wear open crotch panties and let him finger her juicy little cunt in public. Pamela was not very accomplished as a cock sucker. She tried her best and wasn't turned off by it, she just had a smallish mouth and her damned teeth always got in the way.
While Pamela never refused to have sex, she never initiated it. She'd move and respond but wasn't much of a talker. Perhaps the thing that frustrated Paul the most wasn't directly related to sex. He and Pamela had been seeing a marriage counselor for several months, sometimes individually, sometimes together. In the private sessions the therapist had asked blunt questions about their sex life. Paul had quickly responded that it was just great. The counselor hadn't bought it. They'd had somewhat of a breakthrough the previous week.
"Look, fucking with Pamela is just fine. She likes sex, she responds, she cums and then cums again. I can always get her off with my mouth and she has a sweet little pussy. I love eating her. I wish she was able to give a better blow job but she tries and she's gotten better. She's not sexually inhibited in anyway. I guess my problem runs deeper. I know this sounds like bull shit coming from a guy but even when we're having sex I just don't feel, you know, close. It's like the sex is almost mechanical. Even when she kisses me goodbye in the morning or I give her an impromptu hug, she just never seems to put her heart---or body—into it. Sure, we fuck regularly, but even after eight years of marriage and two kids I never feel as if the two of us are really connected. I guess I'm really talking about the intimacy issue...maybe I'm making too much of it."
"Paul, men and women have affairs more often due to a lack of intimacy than because they aren't getting enough sex at home. It's the number one reason marriages fail."
"Look, doctor, divorce is out of the question. We've got two young kids and I'm very involved in their lives. Pamela has no real job skills and can be a very needy person. She'd have a hard time making it on her own. In essence we got married too young. Her mother kicked her out when she found out Pamela and I were screwing. She moved in with me and we got married a few months later. In reality, her father took care of her for the first twenty years and I've been taking care of her the last eight. It's amazing the simple things she can't deal with."
Paul continued, almost on a rant. "She'll call me at work or page me for the stupidest, most mundane shit. When we first got married, I guess I got off on, 'being needed'. Chalk it up as my problem, based on my family baggage, I needed to be needed. We've already covered that. It's gotten old. I always assumed that she would grow---grow up—and become more self sufficient. What was cute at twenty is just fucking irritating at twenty-eight. Damn, I work my ass off; I make a very good living, better by far than our peers. I make three or four times what our friends and neighbors make, so money is not an issue. We'll probably move to a much nicer area within the year. I'll earn another promotion and we'll have to move, which seems to scare the hell out of her. I come home and the house is a mess and she's still in her bathrobe. Fine, so I hired a maid. She wanted to take responsibility for paying the bills---except she forgets to do it! She has an auto club card but does she use it? Fuck no! She calls me when she gets a flat or the car won't start. She seems to enjoy being a mother and the kids love her but she forgets their doctor appointments, school registration---and I have to handle it. In spite of the fact she doesn't work, I hired a part time nanny."
"Paul, I wish we had more time. You've made quite a breakthrough here. I'm hearing some pretty strong resentment at your perception of Pamela's apparent helplessness."
"My perception of her apparent helplessness? Give me a fucking break! You're the expert; for what I'm paying you I expect better than that crap! As we discussed at the onset, doctor, I have a graduate degree in clinical psychology; I even started working on my doctorate...with a bunch of graduate level course work in marriage and family. I spent a one year internship in a clinical environment. As I told you, I got tired of listening to people whine about their lot in life---or worse, dealing with true psychotics who will never get better---and decided I could use my skills better and make a better living in the business world. I made it clear that I wouldn't respond to games or psycho-babble. You're damned right I feel resentful. We're not going to sit here and play, 'how do you feel about that'. I need some fucking answers, not bill padding!"
"Okay, I'm sorry Paul. Probably because of your education you are not my typical client. I often end up working for months with someone trying to pull their feelings out of them. You are disarmingly candid and get to the point very quickly; in my line of work that's rare. Look, I have a little time before my next appointment, probably twenty to thirty minutes and, based on my observations, I'm going to lay it on the line. This is way out of bounds when working with a typical couple and I hope I'm making the right call."
"Talk to me." Paul responded, matter-of-factly.
"First, Pamela is totally dependent on you to an unhealthy degree. It is the primary strategy she uses to hold on to you. As you admitted, there was a time when you enjoyed that dependency---even needed it. You grew out of it; Pamela did not. Her apparent sexual accommodation is another part of that overall strategy. Pamela is incapable of separating love and sex; to her they are one and the same. As long as Paul is having, 'good sex' with me, he loves me. As long as Paul recognized how much I need him, he won't leave me. Now let me give you the bad news."
The doctor paused as he thought about what he was about to say. "First, Pamela will never get better as long as you are there to save her when she screws up. The marriage will get worse. Your resentment will increase and it will not be healthy for you---or the kids. As the years go on her dependence will become irreversible and could well lead to a psychotic break. Most people think marriage counselors are here to save marriages. They're not. They exist to try to save the individuals in a marriage from destruction. I know I'm painting a bleak picture here but there is a second issue. Pamela's mother had a long history of clinical depression to include periodic hospitalization. Pamela shows clear and irrefutable signs of that same depression. I'm not talking about feeling a little down or blue. I'm talking about classic, clinical, possibly organically based depression. It's often hereditary; we're just not sure whether it's environmental or genetic. In her current state---and it will worsen without treatment---she is incapable of normal intimacy, with you or, as the kids become older, with her children."
"Do you have any good news, doctor?"
"Not really. I'm currently prescribing a mild anti-depressive. It's not working. If we take her to something much stronger, one of the lithium compounds, for example, it might help but the side effects are unpleasant---as you probably know. Make no mistake about this. We're not talking about a classic adjustment disorder or neurosis as it were once called which responds well to psychotherapy or counseling. Pamela has a distinct personality disorder. She bounces from role to role in her hopeless search to discover, 'who she is'. The problem is, there is no real Pamela inside her head, so her search must fail. With that failure, one day, we will in all likelihood see a psychotic break. Let me give you one more piece of bad news. I've scheduled an appointment with a colleague with a lot more experience than I have in dealing with clinical issues but I see all the signs of a borderline paranoid schizophrenic. Be honest with me Paul, as is your nature, you must have had suspicions? Her symptoms are text book."
"I've always tried to avoid being the amateur shrink in spite of my training but the thought had crossed my mind. Where do we go from here?"
"There aren't a lot of easy answers. After my colleague sees her, I expect that he will suggest that she spend a couple of days at the university hospital. They are doing some radical work identifying and treating organically based depression. Often supplementing certain chemicals that the body is not producing in sufficient quantities can result in dramatic improvement. Even if medical treatment works, Pamela will need years of therapy. Let me put it this way. Assume for a minute that the depression has a chemical deficiency origin and we can reverse it. We can fix that but a lifetime of behaviors have been built up as she has attempted to deal with her own inability to function as a healthy adult. The personality disorder is still there and it's ingrained. There is no magic drug to fix that, only years of intense---possibly inpatient---psychotherapy."
