I was hurrying to my last class of the day when I accidentally bumped into her. She dropped her books and I knelt to help her pick them up.
I apologized for my clumsiness. When I looked up into her face, I froze. It was Tamara Jensen. I couldn't believe my eyes. From a distance, she was frightening. I had never seen her up close before. Most people were afraid of her, because of the way she dressed and the black lipstick she wore, but I was never scared of her. She was a mystery to me.
Tamara had a style that was all her own. She sometimes wore brown or navy blue, but her usual color was black.
"It's all right," she assured me as we stood up.
I stared at her for a moment and then I introduced myself. "I'm Devon."
"Tamara."
I nodded. "I know."
She grinned. "Of course you do."
I stared into her dark, mysterious eyes. She held my gaze and I couldn't look away. Something in her eyes was not allowing me to.
Well," she said, breaking eye contact. "I better get going. I'm already late."
I nodded. "So am I." But I didn't care. I wanted to keep admiring her unique beauty.
She walked around me and started down the hallway. I turned and watched her a moment.
"Tamara." It came out before I could stop it. She turned and looked at me. "Um...will I see you again?"
She stared at me a moment. "Do you want to?"
"I'd like to."
"Maybe," she said her face expressionless. "Maybe not." She turned and continued down the hall. I watched her until she went into her classroom and then I turned and rushed to my own.
Forty-five minutes later, the final bell rang. I went to put my books in my locker and was on my way to my van when I spotted Tamara walking across the school parking lot. I ran to her side and slowed to a walk beside her.
"Hi."
She glanced at me. "Hello."
"Is it okay if I walk with you?"
"People might see."
"I don't care."
She sighed. "It's a free country. Do what you want."
"I don't want to be here unless I'm welcome."
She looked at me and forced a smile. "Fine. You're welcome to walk with me."
I looked at her for a long moment. "You are so pretty," I blurted.
She stopped walking and turned to me, abruptly. "Why are you even talking to me? Are you afraid your friends might see? Aren't you scared I might put a spell on you?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Will you?
"You don't think of me as a freak?"
"No. I just think you've been misunderstood."
Her expression softened and she continued walking and I didn't say anything else. After a few minutes, she stopped walking again and looked at me. "Do you have to go home now?"
"No," I told her. "No one is home. My parents are both working."
"Can we go somewhere?"
"Where?"
She shrugged. "Anywhere but here."
I smiled. "I know a place."
We walked back to my van and I drove to a secluded spot along the river that not very many people knew about. We climbed out of the van and went to stand on the river bank.
"I never knew this was here," she said.
"Most people don't," I told her. "My friends and I stumbled onto it a few years back. We play here sometimes...makes our music sound different than my basement does."
I sat down on the grass and she sat beside me, watching the river.
She looked at me. "I'm curious about something. Why me? I mean, why do you like me? People usually pity me."
"You're different from most people," I said. "And I don't pity you, Tamara. If people took the time to get to know you, I think they'd like you. They would understand you better."
"But you don't even know me."
"No. not yet. But I've been taught not to judge a book by its cover. I know it's clichΓ© but that's what I believe. It's in the Bible."
"You read the Bible?"
"You sound surprised," I said. "I don't read it as much as I should, but that's one verse my parents drilled into me growing up."
She smiled. "I wish everything thought the way you do."
I looked at her. "So do I, Tamara."
When she looked at me, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. When I pulled back, our eyes met, her dark eyes caused my heart to speed up.
"You are so beautiful," I told her.
"No, I'm not. I'm..."
"Beautiful," I finished for her. "Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. I don't know how I could have missed it."
"People judge first and ask questions later," she said. "You probably did the same."
I couldn't deny it, because she was right. I have judged her by her appearance.
"I'm sorry if I ever said anything to hurt you."
She was quiet, as if trying to remember. "I don't think you ever have."
We stared for another moment and then I leaned in and kissed her again. This time I kept kissing her, moving my lips down her neck. She closed her eyes and let her head rest against my shoulder. My hands moved along her ribs, over her dress, my fingers sliding over the material and then up to her breasts. She brought her hand to mine, as if to stop me, but the she let me continue.
I sensed her hesitation and then her quick surrender. That made me kiss her faster, harder, longer, my lips rushing over hers before going to her neck, while my hands lifted her breasts, my thumbs caressing her nipples.
A soft moan left her lips and I gently pushed her onto her back. I was over her. I didn't really know what I was doing. It was as if I was being guided by some unseen spirit. My fingers found the zipper behind her and carefully moved it down her back. She lifted her arms and I helped her fold the top of her dress to her waist. Her eyes were closed as my fingers continued to explore until they unfastened her bra.
"Wait," I heard her say, finally. "We're moving too fast, Devon. I've never...I'm scared."
I lifted myself from her and with my eyes closed; I took a deep breath and caught hold of the wild passion that was pulling me forward.
"You're right, Tamara," I told her. "I just couldn't stop myself."
"I know a lot of girls wouldn't stop you and I'm probably the last person you'd expect to. I understand if you're angry."
"No," I said smiling. "It's just the opposite. I don't want to do anything to push you away. I want us to be something special."
"You do?"
I nodded. "Yes. I want this to last."
She nodded and reached up for me again, but I shook my head.
"If we don't stop now, I won't be able to, Tamara," I confessed.
I sat up and then she sat up and fixed her clothes I had to help her with her dress zipper.
A few minutes later, I drove her home. No one said anything until I walked her to her front door. We looked at each other for a moment. We kissed.
"Um," she began. "I'm not sure if I want anyone knowing about this. Not yet."
"Why?"
"Because I think it will cause both of us more problems than we need right now. Your friends are just like everyone else.
"I can handle them."
"Devon," she said. "Please."
I nodded. "Okay. I won't tell anyone until you say so, but how is I going to go all day without talking to you?"
"Just leave a note in my locker."
"Okay."
"Good night, Devon."
"Sweet dreams, Tamara."
She nodded and went inside. I headed home quickly, knowing that I was already late for practice. When I got home, my friends were waiting for me on the front porch.
"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late."
"Where were you? We've been calling you," Billy told me.
"Oh, um, I had some things I needed to take care of," I lied and unlocked the front door. They couldn't know about Tamara yet. They wouldn't understand.
Lance was watching me curiously, like he already knew.
The next day, I didn't see Tamara until our lunch hour. She was sitting in the cafeteria with Raven. She glanced at me quickly before turning away. When Ronnie saw her, he gasped, like he always did when he saw her, and shouted, "Oh, no! It's Tamara!
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Tamara.
"Don't look her in the eyes. She'll put a spell on you!" he shouted.
Laughter filled the cafeteria and I was getting angry. "Ronnie, stop," I told him. My friends looked at me. "What?"
"What's with you?" Dalton asked me.
"Nothing. Just leave her alone."
"You never cared before," Ronnie stated.
I got up and walked away from them. I didn't want to say or do anything that I might regret later. I glanced at Tamara and walked out of the cafeteria. I went to my locker and took out the books that I needed for my next class. When I closed my door, Tamara was standing beside me.
"Hi," I said.
"You took up for me back there," she said. "Thanks."
"No problem."
I glanced around the hallway to see if we were alone. I didn't see anyone so leaned toward her and kissed her. She didn't pull away like I expected her to. Instead, she put her arms around me and kissed me back. When we pulled away from each other, she turned and walked away from me. I watched her until she was out of sight.
I went class, and anxiously waited for my last class to end. I found Tamara at her locker and we hurried outside to my van before anyone saw us together and I drove to her house.
"My mother isn't home," she told me. "She's probably with her boyfriend again."
"Are you here alone often?" I asked her.
"Most of the time," she said. "But I'm used to it. Besides, I've got Shadow," she said, indicating the black cat that came to greet us when we walked in the door.
"We've got something in common, at least," I told her. "My parents are always working."
"That's not so bad, is it?" she asked. "I mean, you free to do what you want."
"Sometimes."
She smiled at me and took my hand. "Come on." She led me up the stairs and then to another set of stairs. "My room is up there," she said.