Pandora's Christmas Box

Copyright Oggbashan November 2020

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

+++

I woke up with my head spinning. It took me a couple of minutes to work out where I was. I was lying on the tiled floor of the hall in my Victorian house, wrapped in a duvet with my head on a pillow. Beside me were a plastic bucket, a jug of water and a glass, with a packet of aspirins.

I raised my head cautiously and looked around. Yes, I was on the floor of my hall. How had I got there? And who had wrapped me in a duvet?

Yesterday had been the office Christmas party. I remembered going and the news that had delighted me. I would be promoted on the first working day of the New Year, as would be a few of my friends. We had been celebrating, and if the state of my head was any guide -- too well.

I began to sit up. That was unwise. It made my head spin. I looked along the hall at the familiar statue of Pandora. She was more than life size, about nine feet tall and a relic of my grandparents who had left me this house, far too large for a single man. Whenever I had visited my grandparents when young, my first act had to run along the hall and hug Pandora's legs, the only part of her I could reach.

I had spent hours sitting at Pandora's feet and talking to her as if she was a wise older sister. When I went through the stage of having an invisible friend, that friend was Pandora. She would always listen and give wise advice as if she was the sister I had never had.

Later, when I started work and moved from my parents' house to a small bedsit, I forgot about Pandora except for the few occasions when I visited my grandparents. That wasn't often because they spent much of their time on cruises or they might visit my parents. But whenever I visited, my hand would stroke Pandora's exposed breast. I wasn't the first to do it. Her breast was far more polished than any other part of her.

But today Pandora looked different. Was it the light shining through the stained glass above the front door? Her colour had changed from pure white marble. Her exposed skin seemed flesh coloured and her robe seemed blueish, a sort of faded pastel blue. And her hair? Her hair was black and glossy. It couldn't be. There was no black glass in the doorway.

I shook my head and winced as the pain escalated. But as I watched, Pandora adjusted her robe to cover up the exposed breast. That made me feel sad. I had loved Pandora's breast ever since I had been adult.

Pandora laughed at me.

"Missing it, Andrew? "She asked. "You've been seeing it and touching it for years, and a few seconds of it being covered is too much?"

Pandora couldn't be talking to me. She was a statue. Or was she? She seemed to be a real woman, a nine feet tall woman, but she looked and behaved as if she was alive.

"Thank you for cleaning me, Andrew. And I appreciated the flowers and your love."

When I had inherited the house, Pandora had been covered in dust and grubby except for her much caressed naked breast. I had found advice on how to clean marble and had done it slowly and carefully for many hours over a period of weeks. By the time I had finished the clean I knew every inch of Pandora almost as much as I knew my own body. I had installed spotlights with a switch just inside the front door. Every time I came in, I switched the spotlights on first to illuminate Pandora. I treated her as a household Lar, a goddess protecting the house and me. Several times a year I bought a bouquet of flowers to lay at Pandora's feet.

"Andrew? I think you should take two aspirin with water."

That sounded like the Pandora I remembered, giving good advice, I did.

Ten minutes later I felt a little better but I was still surprised that Pandora looked real.

"Today is Christmas Day, Andrew," Pandora said. "Please stand up, carefully, and come to me."

I stood up. My head was still spinning. I had to put a hand against a wall before I walked or weaved down the hall to Pandora. She opened her arms and hugged me. She pushed my head away slightly before uncovering her breast again.

"Here you are, Andrew," Pandora said. "You've wanted this since you inherited this house when you were twenty-three."

She pushed a warm soft breast into my mouth. It felt fantastic. Her arm wrapped around my head holding me tight before she uncovered her other breast.

"And this one you have never seen."

Her hands moved my head until I was sucking on the other breast. After a few minutes she ran her fingers across my face.

"You need to shave, shower, change and have breakfast, Andrew." Pandora said. "I'll still be here when you have, and I'll have a Christmas present for you..."

"A Christmas present for me, Pandora? But I haven't got one for you," I said sadly.

"You have. Just inside the front door," she replied.

I turned my head and winced as the hangover hit me again. Yes, just inside the front door was a bouquet of flowers. I remembered buying them at lunchtime, just before the office party.

"Off you go, Andrew," Pandora said. "You'll feel better afterwards."

She was right. I did, I still felt fragile but the pain had reduced. Was it the shower, or the aspirin, or both? But Pandora still seemed human, a giant human, but wholly alive. I picked up the bouquet and was going to put it where I normally put bouquets, at Pandora's feet. She held out her hands to take it from me and smelled the flowers appreciatively.

"Thank you, Andrew," she said. "You know the legend of my box?"

"Yes. It shouldn't have been opened and when it was, all the ills that afflict mankind came out."

"Yes. But what was left?"

"Hope."

"Yes, hope."

Pandora turned around, put the flowers down, and picked up the box that had been on the plinth behind her legs. She held it out in front of her and deliberately opened the lid. I looked but nothing seemed to come out.

Pandora laughed at me.

"You can't see hope, Andrew. It is an idea, not something tangible. I know what you hope for. It is Christmas Day and hope could bring you what you want -- today"

The landline telephone rang.

"Answer it, Andrew," Pandora said.

It was Sarah. She works at my office, sharing an apartment in a subdivided house a few doors away with two other women, sisters, from my office.

"Hello, Andrew. How are you?"

"Delicate, and recovering from a hangover, Sarah," I said.

"I'm not surprised. The three of us had to take you home last night. I'm sorry but we couldn't get you further than the hall but we left you with a pillow and duvet."

"Thank you, Sarah. I appreciated that, and the water and aspirins."

"They were Pandora's suggestions. We asked her to look after you. She did, didn't she?"

I looked at Pandora who smiled.

"You spoke to her?"

"Yes."

I couldn't understand how Sarah could have spoken to Pandora. Nor did I know why Pandora now seemed alive. She just was.

"OK, Sarah. Why did you ring?"

"My car has broken down and Anne and Rachel left early his morning to go to their parents."

"What's wrong with the car?"

"I don't know. It will start but not run. Every time I put the accelerator down it just splutters and dies. I tried the car recovery people. Because it is Christmas Day and I'm at home, not on the road, they can't come for at least four hours. They're overwhelmed with breakdowns. Is your car running?"

"Yes, Sarah, but I'm not. I'd be still well over the drink drive limit and will be most of today."

"That's OK. I am insured to drive any car I don't own. I want to get to my parents for Christmas lunch. Can I borrow the car? And you?"

"The car? Of course. Why me too?"

Sarah sighed.

"You know I broke up with my last boyfriend at last January's New Year party?"

"Yes. He was an asshole. So?"

"Because there has been no one else and I live with two women, my parents and brother think I'm a closet gay..."

I laughed. I had enjoyed Sarah's hugs and kisses at work events.

"I know you're not, Sarah."

"Thank you. But if I turned up today with a boyfriend, you, they would stop believing I was gay."

"My head still isn't working properly, Sarah. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend today?"

"No, Andrew. I want you to BE my boyfriend. For today, tomorrow and in the future. Please?"

"Sarah... I would be delighted, and honoured. Of course I'll be you boyfriend if you are sure that's what you want."

"I don't want 'that', Andrew. I want YOU."

"I'm pleased, but isn't this a bit sudden?"

"No. Andrew. I have liked you for a long time and I know you like me. What decided me was last night."

"Last night? But I was drunk last night and don't remember a thing, Sarah."

"Exactly. You were drunk. But even drunk you behaved as you always do. You were polite, kept apologising for your state and thanking the three of us for our help. It was such a change from my previous boyfriend, who could be an asshole even after a couple of beers, and the sisters were impressed too. Their boyfriends aren't aggressive when drunk but can be awkward. Not you, you were a gentleman even when staggering round."

"OK, Sarah, so I am now your boyfriend, What now?"

"Are you decent?"

"Yes, Pandora insisted that I shaved, showered and got dressed. I'm respectable."

"OK, Andrew. I'll tell my parents that I'm bringing you. I'll be around in about a quarter of an hour to borrow your car, and you. See you."

I put the phone down.

"There you are, Andrew," Pandora said. "You needed hope. Perhaps you have got more than you thought but that's my Christmas present to you."

"Thank you, Pandora."

"Give me a hug before you go, Andrew."

I didn't see why I should wait so I went to hug Pandora. Or rather she hugged me. One cheek was against a naked breast, the other against a clothed one. I was still enjoying being hugged when the doorbell rang to announce Sarah's arrival.

She surprised me. She briefly kissed my cheek and went to Pandora for a hug.

"Look after Andrew. Sarah, please," Pandora said. "He's still delicate."

"I will, Pandora. Thank you for looking after him last night."

Sarah took my hand as we walked out of the front door. She had to adjust my driving seat before we could move off. I relaxed in my seat as Sarah drove. Within minutes I was asleep. I woke about ten minutes later after a violent braking.

"Stupid Bugger!" Sarah said.

"Who?" I asked sleepily.

"That car. He cut across from the outside lane to an exit. If I and others hadn't braked, there could have been a nasty accident."

"OK, Sarah," I said. "Wake me up when we get there, please."

"You trust my driving that much, Andrew?"

"Yes, Sarah. Your driving, and you."

Sarah woke me up by stroking my cheek.

"We're here, Andrew," She said.

We got out of the car.

"OK. What now?"

"We go to the front door, holding hands. OK?"

"Yes, but first..."

I took Sarah in my arms and kissed her. She responded. We were both breathless as we stopped and walked up the path to the front door. Sarah's father opened it.

"Dad? This is my boyfriend, Andrew," Sarah said.

"Welcome, Andrew. Sarah? That's not your car."

"No. It's Andrew's. MIne wouldn't start."

"But you were driving?"

"She was. I celebrated too much at yesterday's office party."

"Because he's been promoted, Dad."

"Does that mean you can now afford to buy a house, Andrew?"

I laughed.

"I don't need to. I own one."

"He inherited one from his grandparents, Dad. It's massive."

"And now I can afford to run and improve it," I said.

Because Sarah had been delayed by her car's failure, I barely had time to go to the toilet and splash water on my face before the meal.

Sarah's mother apologised for not having a present for me.

"I'm sorry I haven't got any either," I said, "But I didn't expect to come. Except for Sarah's car breaking down, I wouldn't have."

"What would you have done?" Sarah's brother asked.

"Today? Nothing. My parents are visiting my uncle and aunt. I'm seeing them tomorrow."

I got on well with Sarah's brother and parents. They were obviously puzzled that Sarah hadn't mentioned me before but Sarah and I seemed to know each other very well. They might have wanted to ask how long I had been a boyfriend, but were too embarrassed to ask. Even if they had, I wouldn't have admitted that I was a few hours only. Sarah and I had been friends for at least three years, and occasional partners at office social events during the last year. She knew what I liked. I knew what she liked.

Neither Sarah nor I drank any wine with the meal. For me, it was because I was still suffering from last night. For Sarah -- because she was driving. After the meal we all went into the living room. Sarah was sitting on me, demonstrating that I was her boyfriend, I could see that her parents were puzzled, and relieved. Relieved that Sarah wasn't gay; puzzled because Sarah had never mentioned me before but we obviously knew each other very well. I didn't mind. I had a delightful woman sitting on me, proving that I was her boyfriend.

+++

We left about five o'clock. Sarah's mother kissed me on the doorstep. Her father shook my hand. They seemed to approve of me. Was that because Sarah had shown that she wasn't gay, or because they actually liked me? I think it might have been the latter. I liked Sarah's family and had enjoyed myself.

As Sarah drove me home I went back to sleep. I was still suffering the effects of yesterday. She parked in front of my house and woke me up by kissing me.

"We're here, Andrew" she said. "Come round to my place in about an hour. I'll make a light evening meal for us and then you're staying with me tonight. I've got the place to myself."

Once inside the front door I turned the spotlights on Pandora. She still looked alive. I walked up to her and into a hug.

"Thank you, Pandora, for Sarah," I said.

I might have said more but a Pandora breast had been eased into my mouth. One of her arms was cradling my head against her.

"Sarah is now your girlfriend, Andrew but she and her friends have a problem." Pandora said.

I pulled away from her breast gently.

"They have? Sarah hasn't said anything."

"Their landlord has sold the property to a large Muslim family who will convert it back to a family home. All the tenants have been given notice to quit by the end of January. Sarah, Anne and Rachel have been trying to find somewhere else. So far they haven't found anything large enough for all three that they can afford. They have been offered houses but the cheapest is 50% more than they currently pay. If they have two or three smaller flats again the total cost would be unaffordable."

"Aha. And you are suggesting that I have a large, mainly unused, house, Pandora?"

"That's true, isn't it? And if Sarah was living with you?"

"I could see that as an advantage but all three?"

"All of them are housetrained. They could look after this house better than you can and it is so large you might not notice Anne and Rachel. At the moment they take in turns to cook and they are all good. You might never have to cook again..."

"How do you know all this, Pandora?"

"At the office party the women had switched their mobile phones off. While they were sorting you out last night Anne turned her phone on. There was a text message from the rental agent just before she left the office to shut it until the New Year. She was sorry, she couldn't find anywhere for the women that was large enough and that they could afford. She would try again in January. The three women then discussed their predicament..."

"Did any of them suggest moving in with me?"

"No. Why should they? Yesterday you were just an office colleague and friend. They were jealous of the space you have. They have three small bedrooms, a tiny living room and a barely adequate kitchen/dining room with a single bathroom. Your kitchen is twice the size of their kitchen/dining room and all your ensuite bathrooms are bigger than their one. They only saw two of the ensuites. They don't know that you have four and four more family bathrooms as well. The idea that they might stay here is mine. Even Sarah hadn't thought of it. What do you think about it, Andrew?"

"Well, this was meant to be a family home and if I married, it would be. But Sarah and I have been together for less than a day. It's too soon for anything else. But, as a temporary measure, I don't see why not. I know what they really want it to buy homes, even tiny flats, for themselves. That's why they are sharing to reduce costs so they can save for a deposit. But house prices are rising faster than their savings. It could be sometime or never before they can afford to buy, unless like me, they have an inheritance. I don't know enough about any of them to know whether that is likely."

"Would you consider it, Andrew?

"Perhaps. The idea of having live in cooks and cleaners sounds useful. But I'll think about it after tonight. I'll see how Sarah and I get on. Tomorrow I'm away and Sarah will be back with her parents. I might discuss it with her the day after Boxing Day."

"You might have to take Sarah back to her parents tomorrow, Andrew. Her car's still out of action."

"So it is, never mind. It's only a mile or so off my route. I could collect her on the way back too. Pandora? Do you know any more about their current rental arrangements?"

"Yes. Their place is furnished so they don't have much to move. Their rent?"

Pandora told me a figure.

"So much? And anywhere else is more? That's outrageous!"

"It is. If they had deposits their mortgage payments would be less than the third of the rent they are currently paying for each of them. But all of them are tens of thousands short on the deposits."

"OK, Pandora. I get you message loud and clear. I'll think about it and discuss it with Sarah in two days' time."

"Thank you, Andrew. I like all three of them and owe them a favour."

"You do, Pandora? Why?"

"I won't say. It's a secret between them and me. Sarah might tell you -- eventually..."

+++

I left to walk to the women's flat. Sarah welcomed me effusively. I was barely inside the door before she was kissing me passionately. If this was to be what being Sarah's boyfriend meant? I liked it.

When I could get my breath back I told her that I could drive her to her parents tomorrow if I collected her about nine am and collected her about eight pm. Was that OK?

Apparently it was. She would ring her brother who would otherwise have collected her. I couldn't respond. She was kissing me too much.

Sarah had made a light pasta based meal. Light because we had eaten a full scale Christmas lunch. She offered me wine with the meal. I declined because I was still delicate, twenty-four hours after the office Christmas party. I must have drunk far more than my usual capacity.

I asked her to be gentle with me tonight and not expect too much. I was pleased that she teased me with her breasts for a long time before ridng me slowly and carefully. I went to sleep with Sarah resting on my shoulder and slept almost the whole night. In the morning she rode me more vigorously before making breakfast. At eight am I went back to my house to shower, shave and change. I was back to collect her at nine. As we drove to her parents I asked:

"When are Anne and Rachel back?"

"Tomorrow, Andrew, Why?"

"I want to talk to all three of you. Could you three come to my house for lunch, please?"

"Probably. I'll text them later but why all three?"

"I'd rather wait until you are together, Sarah, if that's OK. It's about something Pandora told me."

"Pandora told you? I know you talk to Pandora, but she told you something you didn't already know?"