Simon Says:
Last chapter. It would be easy to do another series with some or all of these characters, so who knows? But for now, as I try to continue to clean out my literary partially written story closet, this is the end on this one. Jack, Sadie and I thank you for coming along for the ride.
Standard caveat: I am about the slow burn. And of course this chapter makes less sense without the first three.
Happy reading!
++++++
The few weeks that followed really were pretty awesome. I spent a lot of time talking with Sadie, hanging out with Michelle and Karen and of course time with Anna. And all of that was simply fun.
And the time spent specifically with Sadie was just great. We were definitely dating and most of it was just fun event after fun event. And on occasion we did what some couples move towards, which was having fun doing nothing together. Initially trying to date her proved nerve-wracking and stressful, as I simply spent most of time walking on broken glass, but now it was more just fun. We grooved. We clicked.
I still needed to talk to Alex, but most of the time was spent with various members of the group listed above, in differing groupings, so I couldn't do the whole man-to-man thing with him. We needed to at least have a moment to connect that didn't require me coming off as creepy or over-bearing or pushy or whatever, and probably best without an audience.
So I got pretty hopeful when I had the chance to take Alex and Brady over to the elementary school so they could kick the ball around on a Sunday afternoon. This was the least amount of people around with Alex and I in the mix, so I had hopes that I could at least 'take his temperature' about the whole me-dating-his-mom-thing. I hoped but wasn't going to be surprised if it didn't pan out for that Sunday.
Regardless of what might happen, I loved watching the boys play soccer as they were obviously good friends. And Brady and Alex seemed to be the kind of friends who clicked well. They were tight. And I hoped that they would be tight for years to come, whatever came of Sadie's and my relationship.
When I was a kid, I had this friend named William. He and I would argue about something every time I saw him, but then brush it off (as boys usually do) and then continue on. With Alex and Brady, they kinda were like a perfect match. Just competitive enough to be healthy. Just different enough from each other to not get bored. Maybe even like Sadie and me. Well except without the romantic feelings. And the making out. And tongue tangoing.
Aaaaaaah Sadie. She seemed to suddenly appear in most thoughts these days.
Jack thinks - Oh yes, I have to pick up milk from the grocery store this afternoon. Sadie likes milk! Aaaaaaah Sadie (imagine wistful sighing here).
Then Jack thinks - I need to get a haircut this afternoon. Ah yes, Sadie has hair! Aaaaaaah Sadie (more dramatic wistful sighing here too).
You can call me a hopelessly obsessed romantic if you like. It's ok. Go ahead. I am owning it, man.
The ball sailed over my head to bring me out of my daydreaming. Brady ran by and apologized for nearly killing me. Death-by-soccer-ball-because-Jack-was-lost-in-thoughts-obsessing-over-girl is a little less manly than death-by-grizzly-while-saving-bus-full-of-nuns. I really needed to plan my death so that I look really good afterwards.
"Gonna take a leak!" Apparently Brady decided to take advantage of having to run all the way to the building to get the ball. I just waved at him. Alex sauntered over and sat down.
Now Alex had been very nice to me throughout this process, but he had kept his distance. He came over to the house a few times to hang out with Brady. And of course I had brought Brady over to his. The time we shared usually involved other people being around. And this was the moment I had hoped for, so I tried to start it.
"Hey Alex . . . "
"Yeah?"
Ok, so I probably should have planned this a bit better. I mean, how do I launch into this? With Anna, she took charge really. Well until the end when I could tell she needed me to take charge and really reassure her. And maybe that was it. Maybe I needed to be super-duper ultra-casual.
"So I have been around your house recently a lot."
"Yeah."
He continued to stare straight ahead. The kid was not going to be terribly helpful here.
"What do you think about that?"
He sat quietly for a bit. He never met my eyes but continued to stare out towards the field.
I remember when I was his age that my time was spent being a dumb-ass with friends. I played ball too (basketball, but obviously not terribly good at it), read a lot of sci-fi books and watched TV. We also had old video game consoles that would look very silly to the kids today. But in that time, I didn't have to deal with a dad leaving a mom nor did I have to deal with a new guy coming in and dating my mom. I imagine the hard stuff he dealt with (at the surface level alone) was much harder than anything I dealt with. Honestly 12-year-old me was not terribly capable of dealing with this.
"I don't know, Mr. O'Donnell," he actually was looking at me with a rather serious face.
He needed reassurance just like Anna, but he needed it in a slightly different way. Maybe.
"Alex, I . . . "
"I mean you seem cool and everything, but so did my Dad. So yeah, I don't know."
"Yeah, I can understand that. I really can." He just nodded at me.
"Alex, I am going to say something here. I want you to hear me, but I imagine you are going to have to kinda process it over time. I don't expect any response. Ok?"
He turned briefly to nod, then looked back at the field.
"Alex, I care a lot about your mom. She is special to me. And I have grown quite fond of both you and your sister too. You two are great kids. No buttering you up here, just being honest." I paused a moment.
"I honestly do not know what is going to happen here, with your mom, but I of course would like to spend as much time as I can with your family."
I could see him staring off. He wasn't nodding. He wasn't acknowledging. I thought back to when I was his age. I think I would be listening right now but doing it just like he was - processing feelings but internally. At least that's what I thought, so I was not worried.
"I do not know what happened with your dad. I don't think I really need to know everything, but at some point I would like for your mom to tell me so that I can help her deal with that. She still carries around a lot of hurt, I think, and I want to help. At least I hope I can."
I could see a slight nod there.
"But here is what I want you to know. I do care about her. A lot. And I am going to do what I can to protect her, but, and this is what I think I really want to say here, I am not going to ask you to trust me."
