Out of Practice

Simon Says:

Last chapter. It would be easy to do another series with some or all of these characters, so who knows? But for now, as I try to continue to clean out my literary partially written story closet, this is the end on this one. Jack, Sadie and I thank you for coming along for the ride.

Standard caveat: I am about the slow burn. And of course this chapter makes less sense without the first three.

Happy reading!

++++++

The few weeks that followed really were pretty awesome. I spent a lot of time talking with Sadie, hanging out with Michelle and Karen and of course time with Anna. And all of that was simply fun.

And the time spent specifically with Sadie was just great. We were definitely dating and most of it was just fun event after fun event. And on occasion we did what some couples move towards, which was having fun doing nothing together. Initially trying to date her proved nerve-wracking and stressful, as I simply spent most of time walking on broken glass, but now it was more just fun. We grooved. We clicked.

I still needed to talk to Alex, but most of the time was spent with various members of the group listed above, in differing groupings, so I couldn't do the whole man-to-man thing with him. We needed to at least have a moment to connect that didn't require me coming off as creepy or over-bearing or pushy or whatever, and probably best without an audience.

So I got pretty hopeful when I had the chance to take Alex and Brady over to the elementary school so they could kick the ball around on a Sunday afternoon. This was the least amount of people around with Alex and I in the mix, so I had hopes that I could at least 'take his temperature' about the whole me-dating-his-mom-thing. I hoped but wasn't going to be surprised if it didn't pan out for that Sunday.

Regardless of what might happen, I loved watching the boys play soccer as they were obviously good friends. And Brady and Alex seemed to be the kind of friends who clicked well. They were tight. And I hoped that they would be tight for years to come, whatever came of Sadie's and my relationship.

When I was a kid, I had this friend named William. He and I would argue about something every time I saw him, but then brush it off (as boys usually do) and then continue on. With Alex and Brady, they kinda were like a perfect match. Just competitive enough to be healthy. Just different enough from each other to not get bored. Maybe even like Sadie and me. Well except without the romantic feelings. And the making out. And tongue tangoing.

Aaaaaaah Sadie. She seemed to suddenly appear in most thoughts these days.

Jack thinks - Oh yes, I have to pick up milk from the grocery store this afternoon. Sadie likes milk! Aaaaaaah Sadie (imagine wistful sighing here).

Then Jack thinks - I need to get a haircut this afternoon. Ah yes, Sadie has hair! Aaaaaaah Sadie (more dramatic wistful sighing here too).

You can call me a hopelessly obsessed romantic if you like. It's ok. Go ahead. I am owning it, man.

The ball sailed over my head to bring me out of my daydreaming. Brady ran by and apologized for nearly killing me. Death-by-soccer-ball-because-Jack-was-lost-in-thoughts-obsessing-over-girl is a little less manly than death-by-grizzly-while-saving-bus-full-of-nuns. I really needed to plan my death so that I look really good afterwards.

"Gonna take a leak!" Apparently Brady decided to take advantage of having to run all the way to the building to get the ball. I just waved at him. Alex sauntered over and sat down.

Now Alex had been very nice to me throughout this process, but he had kept his distance. He came over to the house a few times to hang out with Brady. And of course I had brought Brady over to his. The time we shared usually involved other people being around. And this was the moment I had hoped for, so I tried to start it.

"Hey Alex . . . "

"Yeah?"

Ok, so I probably should have planned this a bit better. I mean, how do I launch into this? With Anna, she took charge really. Well until the end when I could tell she needed me to take charge and really reassure her. And maybe that was it. Maybe I needed to be super-duper ultra-casual.

"So I have been around your house recently a lot."

"Yeah."

He continued to stare straight ahead. The kid was not going to be terribly helpful here.

"What do you think about that?"

He sat quietly for a bit. He never met my eyes but continued to stare out towards the field.

I remember when I was his age that my time was spent being a dumb-ass with friends. I played ball too (basketball, but obviously not terribly good at it), read a lot of sci-fi books and watched TV. We also had old video game consoles that would look very silly to the kids today. But in that time, I didn't have to deal with a dad leaving a mom nor did I have to deal with a new guy coming in and dating my mom. I imagine the hard stuff he dealt with (at the surface level alone) was much harder than anything I dealt with. Honestly 12-year-old me was not terribly capable of dealing with this.

"I don't know, Mr. O'Donnell," he actually was looking at me with a rather serious face.

He needed reassurance just like Anna, but he needed it in a slightly different way. Maybe.

"Alex, I . . . "

"I mean you seem cool and everything, but so did my Dad. So yeah, I don't know."

"Yeah, I can understand that. I really can." He just nodded at me.

"Alex, I am going to say something here. I want you to hear me, but I imagine you are going to have to kinda process it over time. I don't expect any response. Ok?"

He turned briefly to nod, then looked back at the field.

"Alex, I care a lot about your mom. She is special to me. And I have grown quite fond of both you and your sister too. You two are great kids. No buttering you up here, just being honest." I paused a moment.

"I honestly do not know what is going to happen here, with your mom, but I of course would like to spend as much time as I can with your family."

I could see him staring off. He wasn't nodding. He wasn't acknowledging. I thought back to when I was his age. I think I would be listening right now but doing it just like he was - processing feelings but internally. At least that's what I thought, so I was not worried.

"I do not know what happened with your dad. I don't think I really need to know everything, but at some point I would like for your mom to tell me so that I can help her deal with that. She still carries around a lot of hurt, I think, and I want to help. At least I hope I can."

I could see a slight nod there.

"But here is what I want you to know. I do care about her. A lot. And I am going to do what I can to protect her, but, and this is what I think I really want to say here, I am not going to ask you to trust me."

At this point he turned towards me, a little surprised.

"I am not going to ask for it because instead I am going to earn it. From you. Your sister. Your mom. I want to prove to you that you can trust me. And if at some point you do start to trust me with your mom, then I am not going to let up. I am going to keep working at it. Does that make sense?"

He stared at me rather intensely for a moment, the internal gears churning. I didn't know if that would help him, but then maybe I said it for me too. The two of them - Anna needing to know I didn't intend to hurt them (and even that I wanted to protect them) and Alex, a bit like his mom, needing maybe to know that I was not going to take his (or her) trust for granted.

He finally came out of his thinking and nodded. "Yeah. Ok."

Just then a ball sailed over my head nearly killing me again, "sorry Dad!"

+++++

"Hey Jack! What's shaking?"

Friday night rolled around and I had expected for Sadie to do the whole 'girls' night' thing with Michelle and Karen, per her usual, but instead I was surprised to get a call from Sadie.

"Oh you know, the regular stuff. Doing laundry, eating snacks, being awesome and what-not."

"Uh huh. Anyway, bring Brady to my house in an hour. My Mom and Dad are watching Alex, Anna and Brady."

"Uh, this is girls' night."

"Yep!"

"I am not a girl."

"Definitely not! See you in an hour. Time is ticking Jack!" And she hung up.

Sadie met me at the door wearing tight sexy jeans and an off-the-shoulder shirt that just looked amazing on her. Hug. Kiss. Second hug. Wanting more. Forcing to break off.

Meeting Sadie's parents was odd. I mean I am in my 30s but suddenly I am having flashbacks to when I was in high school. No Sadie's dad didn't start cleaning guns in front of me, but he did seem to be feeling me out. And I was not surprised. His daughter had been emotionally beat up by a dude who finally walked out, I would be protective and concerned as well.

Now her mom was a little different. Maybe she sensed I wasn't dangerous in any way but she seemed to be VERY enthusiastic about me spending time with her daughter. Or maybe it was the fact that I come with a kid attached and she just liked grandchildren. She did start doting on Brady as soon as he walked through the door. And she was fun so I caught him smiling a bit. I am pretty sure Sadie got her sense of humor and enthusiasm from her mom.

Karen and Michelle showed up shortly after. Michelle was wearing this form hugging tank top of sorts that exposed her belly from the navel down, with tight skinny jeans completing the ensemble. And Karen was wearing this tight dress that plunged a little in the front. I don't remember them all dressing this sexy for girls night in those photos I saw on Facebook. Oh well.

Having found her babysitting choices to be good ones, all four of us headed out the door to do 'girls night.' A little inkling of concern was poking at me a little, but I pushed it aside. I got to spend time with Sadie and her friends . . . Nothing to be concerned about!

+++++

So I was concerned.

We pulled up into the parking lot of "Platinum Dolls," a semi-classy gentlemen's club (if the word classy could ever be applied to a gentleman's club). And, to be absolutely clear here, when I say gentlemen's club, I am not talking about the type where old dudes in smoking jackets sit around in leather chairs and bemoan the youth of today relaying stories of how hard it was back in their day and how much it made them much better old dudes now. No. This is the type where men pay entrance fees and sit at little round tables with stacks of fives, being served over-priced likely watered-down drinks by scantily clad busty women while waiting for even scantilier clad woman to jiggle some parts while shaking other parts in order to get tips.

In the vernacular, we apparently were celebrating THIS girls night out at a strip club.

"Hey Sadie." Sadie was the designated driver for the evening so she and I were in the front seats.

"Yeah Jack?" She, as was the case with both of her accomplices, was grinning.

"Why are we here?"

"Doesn't everyone like to come to places like this?"

"Uh, usually only at most about half the population does, and we have an over-representation of the other half in this car."

"Ok, let's see . . . Everyone in this car: raise your hand if you like boobs."

All three women raised their hands, grins plastered across their faces. Sadie, noticing the lack of my vote raised her eyebrows. I slowly raised my hand.

"See? We all like boobs! It's unanimous! Yay booooooobs!" That last bit was apparently a planned cheer among the three of them.

"Listen, you three are cute and everything but, seriously, why are we here?"

Karen and Sadie exchanged quick looks. Karen nodded to Sadie and grabbed Michelle's hand heading out the car. "We will go get a good table. See you in there!"

I could hear both of them cheer out "yay booooooobs!" as they closed the door.

Sadie chuckled for a second, then turned back to me, smiling.

I tried to begin, "Sadie, I know you have some trust issues going on. I totally get that, but I don't think you really need to test me anym . . . "

She put her finger on my lips.

"Let me explain, Jack." She turned towards me, bringing her leg up under her, which of course gave me a brief flashback to events that began me on this path. The cleavage in her off-the-shoulder shirt proved not quite as pronounced as that time in the truck with the sundress. Regardless she turned me on, per usual.

These flashbacks caused a little stress mixed with a very fond memory. I really focused on the fond memory instead. It must have been on my face as she smiled at me her eyebrows raised questioningly, "you are thinking about me leaning forward, aren't you?"

"For the sake of honesty, yep."

"Me too." She grinned at me, "but this shirt will not give you the same view."

"For the sake of honesty, sadly nope." She breathed in.

"Right, back to the topic. I do trust you, Jack. I honestly do. The last several months have been some of the happiest of my life. The way I see you with my family, my friends, just with me. It's awesome."

"Then why do you need to test me?"

"Shhhh! Nearly awesome. Except you don't always listen!" She smiled at me again, "Ok, yes this is a test, but it's not a test for you." She paused, likely for dramatic effect. "It's a test for me, Jack."

I must've looked very confused. Was she concerned about her ability to avoid looking at boobs? Did she like boobs that much? And is it perverted of me being turned on by my girlfriend liking to look at boobs? It really could be a shared interest! Like gardening or scrapbooking!

She interrupted my spiral of perversion.

"This actually was Michelle's idea. I want to be able to see you looking at women and not worry, Jack. One day you will see Michelle's boobs . . . She practically lives naked at her apparent so it is bound to happen. And let's be honest, her clothes don't really do a great job of covering up her award-winning breasts. Or one day you will see Karen prancing around in a really sexy outfit, well kinda like tonight really, and I want to be able to look at them and then look at you and not feel the panic. With them or anyone else."

She had grown very serious. "I don't want to worry about who you might meet that is prettier than me, or has better . . . you know . . . " She held her hands out in front of her chest.

"No one has better . . . " She put her finger on my lips again giving me an appreciative look before continuing.

"Jack, I was betrayed. And thinking back to the moments that led up to the . . . separation . . . well all of that has colored things for me. I don't want that colored lens anymore. I WANT to trust you sooooo much. I really do. And I feel like I mostly do, but I don't want these little memories and thoughts to ruin the happy moments we are experiencing. Now or in the future. I want to be able to see you around others and not worry about it anymore. Do you understand?"

I think I did understand. I guess realizing what happened after the fact, putting pieces together . . .I suppose all of that would color my view too.

She was looking at me expectantly. "Oh right. Sorry. Was processing."

She nodded. "I am sorry you have to go through all of this Jack. I mean, I know you have been bending over backwards for me. We all see it." She put her hand on my arm, "Karen and Michelle absolutely love you. They think you are so great. And Anna, she seems pretty attached."

She looked off for a moment, "And Alex is getting there."

"Yeah, he needs to see me walking the walk. I get that."

She nodded.

"Sadie, you don't have to apologize to me. I get it. I do. We are just working through some stuff together, right?"

"Yes we are. Thank you. I mean it." Her eyes told me she was telling the truth.

Serious talk was over. Time to move on to this wackiness. "Ok, well, if you think it will help then I am willing to go stare at naked women. Go team!" I put my hand in front of her so we could do a sport-type cheer from a huddle.

She laughed and punched my arm.

I grabbed her hands, "Just remember this, Sadie. You are the only one going home with me tonight." Then I sorta panicked, "well I mean you are the only one I really care about not that you are going home WITH me necessarily . . . "

She put her hand on my cheek, "You are just so adorable. Nope, you were right the first time, Jack. I AM the only one going home with you tonight." She paused for a moment, waggled her eyebrows and then exited the car.

+++++

Michelle and Karen had picked a table for four right in front of the main stage. So as we walked in, Karen and Michelle were actually whistling and cat-calling at a pretty woman in relatively see-through lingerie strutting around on the stage as all of the men in the room were ignoring the lingerie girl and were staring at Michelle and Karen, likely trying to figure it out. Or they were just relishing the moment as a hot lesbian fantasy that nearly all men can easily go to in their minds.

I figured that would happen. A group of women not involved in the entertainment at a strip club were often anomalies. It happened, but it was rare. And frankly the women in question were beautiful, especially Michelle, so it made them (and me by association) really stick out.

We pulled into the seats next to Michelle and Karen, who turned towards us, saw me, and simultaneously started, "yaaaaaaaaaay . . . " The three of them kept the yay going apparently waiting on me.

"Boobs?" I offered.

And they all three giggled and hi-fived me.

I had been to a few strip clubs in my early twenties. Those few times were with friends on bachelor party nights. One was at a place that was much seedier than this one. The other wasn't as bad. I really didn't enjoy either experience very much.

I think the problem mostly centered on the fact that I was with a group of guys and I felt creepy. I mean I paid women to strip down (at least via entrance fees) and the guys just hooted and hollered. It felt like I was objectifying too much.

But this time? Very different.

For one, Karen was in her element. Please note that she did not strip for a living, but rather that she found herself surrounded by a bunch of uncomfortable guys who just expected to quietly come to a club and have a girl gyrate on their laps but instead found themselves meeting outgoing super friendly Karen. She loved being the center of attention, and her entering this world as a sort of outsider made her one.

She actually went around and introduced herself to all of the other patrons. And I KNOW she did it because every one of the guys clearly felt uncomfortable. One guy actually left as she made her way around the room, seemingly concerned about too much contact with her.

And Michelle? You know how alcohol makes reserved shy people become more inward and quieter and extraverted types to often become even more outgoing? Well quieter Michelle became absolutely so loud and lost all filtering ability after about three drinks.

"Hey Jack?"

"Yes Michelle?"

"Do you think that one over there is hot?" She was loudly and obviously pointing to a waitress on the other side of the room, who seemed startled to be the target of Michelle's question. Humorously, she could have been Michelle's double.

I shrugged my shoulders, this being still a little early in the Sadie strip club test. I didn't want to enthusiastically jump on the girl ogling band-wagon but instead figured we could just ease into it, giving Sadie a chance to warm up to this. I glanced at Sadie and she looked at me questioningly. I hadn't figured this dynamic out yet.

Michelle continued before I could even offer my opinion, thankfully. "Oh I think she is. She has great boobs. Yay booooooobs!" That last bit was of course a collective four-person cheer with the added tradition of us all clinking our glasses and drinking at the same time. I had figured out that portion of the dynamic - if I didn't join in then they all kept the 'yay' sound going until I did. So I did.