Once again, I'd like to thank Wolf Vixen for editing this story. I'd also like to use this submission to pay my respects to all United States Armed Forces veterans, in particular the Greatest Generation; if only I had been able to send this out one week earlier on Memorial Day, it would have been much more fitting. See why as you read below.
Again, the sex in this story is greatly limited. Please enjoy this submission about Ryan's story, his history, and the potential of his future. Feedback is always appreciated.
VI
It wasn't the same since Trixie left.
It was probably unnecessary to lie about the conference, but he wasn't sure how else to spend his time lamenting over Amanda and Adam. That was between him and his family. He thought it would be therapeutic – and maybe it was – but at the end of the day he would end up feeling worse. If anything, the time spent alone confirmed the fact that he'd never see them again, at least not in this life.
When he was with Trixie, however, things were different. Bringing her with him to Hawaii wasn't the greatest idea in retrospect; he never professed his plan to be one of genius. But for a moment, he had hope. He felt on the verge of returning to normal, and he liked it. He didn't think it was possible to feel that way anymore. She must have been very good at what she did – not just the sex, but the companionship. She produced a grand illusion of caring for him; her efforts of pretending to actually want to spend time with him and appearing to enjoy it was nothing short of perfection. At best, all he wanted was for her to make things bearable, and she did so much more than that.
The next couple days in Hawaii dragged on. Ryan considered that maybe it was time to leave the island and move forward with his plan. After Trixie left, he didn't even have the will to leave the room for the next two days. He wasn't sure if it was because he missed her or missed the idea of her; it could have even been because he simply felt alone. He just wasn't sure.
It took everything he had to make himself leave the room. As good as everything was on the five-star menu, he could only order in for so long before getting cabin fever. Ryan took a stroll down Waikiki Beach to find something to eat, promising himself that he'd return to his room right after dinner.
After finding a restaurant and sitting down to a beer and an oversized cheeseburger of which he only ate half, he mentally formed the next stage of his plan. While tuning out the obnoxious music and the annoying partying couples in the background, he carefully wrote down his plan on a napkin with the pen the waitress left after he had added the tip and signed the receipt. It didn't take long until he was completely oblivious to the night life and music around him.
He looked over his list, contemplating each line carefully. "Amanda" and "North Shore" were sequentially crossed out. Underneath he wrote "Arizona". Next he wrote "Return". Finally, he wrote "OFF - Complete".
The plan was similar to before, but for the remainder of the checklist he'd have to exclude Trixie. Folding up the napkin and placing it in his back pocket, he went back to the resort.
---
Neither of them said a word.
She meant to say something, and had rehearsed her lines a thousand times, but her mind was empty.
He simply stood there with the door open and key card still in hand.
There she stood, two days later, as if she had never left. She wore her favorite green dress; it was just short enough to look sexy, but not so short it looked slutty. Her knee high black boots tightly caressed her calf muscles; the string in the back dangled down to her heel. She might have been nervous, but she knew how to dress.
Her heart was racing. She had tried to fix her mascara the best she could, but Ryan came back to the resort sooner than she thought. When she heard him walk up to the door she bolted out of the bathroom, leaving all of her makeup on the counter, and went out to the living room to wait for him just as he was opening the door.
"Hi," she squeaked out carefully, brushing her tiny blond ringlets out of her face.
"What are you doing here? I... I thought you were gone for good. Why did you come back?" He didn't move a muscle.
Trixie stammered, "I...um, I think we need to talk." She had trouble looking him in the eye but tried her hardest to make eye contact.
A strange look crossed Ryan's face. He was about to say something.
"Before you begin," Trixie started, holding her hand up, "I have to apologize."
She took a deep breath. "This isn't easy for me. Normally I'm on the receiving end of the apologies. Whether it's my fault or not," she added with a nervous grin.
Ryan smiled slightly, giving Trixie a little relief. For a moment, she thought that it might have been possible that she was saying the right things after all.
"It didn't hit me until the plane started to leave. I tried to get off but they weren't about to go back to the gate. They might have let me off at a smaller, less busy airport, but not at Honolulu International. At least that's what they told me. And then, they didn't have any flights available until..."
"Trixie," he interrupted.
"Please, Ryan. I have to finish."
He nodded for her to continue.
"I went against my better judgment. I know... well, I don't exactly know what happened, with your past I mean, but I know you didn't do anything wrong, and I acted like a cold hearted bitch..." Trixie was trying not to choke as she held back her tears that threatened to fall out again.
"I know we're not exactly dating," she said, "but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I do care about you, Ryan."
More than you know,
she thought.
Ryan walked up to her, embracing her, "I never thought I'd see you again. That was the part that really bothered me."
Trixie buried her head in his chest as he held her. She sniffed, "Me too. It's my fault. I had to fly all the way back to California and get on the first flight back to Hawaii. And then
that
jet broke. They didn't have anything until the next day..."
She sighed, stepping back and smiling at Ryan, "So, here I am."
Ryan smiled and shook his head, "You shouldn't have done that. You must be exhausted; do you want to lie down?"
Giggling through a few tears, she said, "Of course, but I want to lay down with you. But before we do that, I have to get this off of my chest and beg your forgiveness."
"Sweetie, there is nothing to forgive. Just let me know how much the plane tickets were. I'll pay for them; it's only fair."
