Open Marriage Cheating Wife

This is about two couples so I'll begin by introducing them. Zara, my girlfriend, is 21. My name is Brad and I'm 23. Zara and I met in high school when I was a senior and Zara was in 10th grade. We have been together ever since. We both grew up in the suburbs of a large east coast city. I was accepted at a university in that city. My parents couldn't afford to send me to a private university but the school waived my tuition for the four years I was there. I majored in psychology. When Zara graduated high school, she attended the local community college for her first two years. I graduated in the Spring of 2023 and Zara was accepted at the university I just graduated from. Most of her community college credits transferred so she started in the fall of 2023 as a junior. At the community college, she took a course in the history of the woman's movement and decided to major in Women's Studies.

I was accepted to graduate school in psychology at a different university but in the same city. I got a three year fellowship so my tuition was paid and I received money for living expenses and course required books. In return, I was expected to assist a professor in his intro class in psychology. The professor I've been assisting is Marco. More about him later.

The fellowship didn't provide a lot of money but, with Zara's parents help, Zara and I were able to move into a small one bedroom apartment. So we started living together when Zara began her junior year and I began graduate school.

The other couple is Les and Bunny. Les is my age and began grad school in psychology the same semester at the same school I am attending. Les also grew up in the suburbs of the city where our university is located. Very different suburbs. My parents didn't have money and Les's parents did. His mother is a lawyer and his father is a businessman of some sort. My dad is a salesman and my mom is a receptionist at a real estate firm. Les and I went to different high schools and had never met before we started grad school. There were six grad students in psychology who entered the semester Les and I started. Three males, including Les and me, and three females. The other male left school after the first semester. One of the females married and dropped out after our second semester.

Les got a teaching assistantship, (T.A.). The only differences between my fellowship and his T.A. was that the T.A. paid better but I was given a free parking space at the university and a tiny office for myself in the library. The university is downtown so It is almost impossible to find a parking space anywhere near the university. Paid parking in that area is very expensive. A free parking space is a very nice perk.

Bunny is probably a year or two older than Les and me but I don't know that for sure. Les did his undergraduate work at a private university in another state. The university is in the town where Bunny grew up. They met while Les was an undergraduate and married as soon as he graduated. When they moved here so Les could attend grad school, Bunny began taking undergraduate courses at the state university about 20 miles from where they lived.

Les and Bunny were in a rental directly between the apartment Zara and I shared and our grad school. Since I had free parking and we had similar school schedules, I agreed to pick him up in the morning and drop him off at home after school. He agreed to help pay for my gas. My days are like this. Monday morning, Marco gives his lecture to all his intro students in a large hall at 9am. Freshman are required to take an intro course in psychology their first year of college so each semester we have somewhere between 50 and 80 students. The rest of the week, in the mornings, I have the students in smaller classes to go over coursework and answer questions. Afternoons, I spend in my small office doing my own school work. All grad school classes are in the evenings. I leave home before 7:30am, pick up Les before 8am and we 're at school by 8:45. I get home each night no later than 10:30pm. Long days except for Fridays when there are no grad school classes. On Fridays, I'm home by early afternoon. Les's weekdays was more or less the same as mine.

Les was supposed to be waiting for me and just jump in my car when I arrive in the mornings to pick him up. He was never ready. I always had to go in his house and hurry him along. He and Bunny were always just finishing breakfast. Another guy was always there too. He was someone Bunny met in one of her classes and was her ride to and from her school. I never understood that. Les came with me so their one car was available but this guy always took her to and from their school. Maybe it was a parking problem at their university or Bunny didn't like to drive.

The drive from Les's house to our university takes about 45 minutes. As graduate students in psychology we spend the drive time mostly arguing about different psychological schools of thought. Heated arguments. Les is an only child who came from a somewhat privileged background. He's the sort of guy who, whenever he talks, sounds like he's imparting the most important ideas you'll ever hear. He's becomes breathless when he speaks, especially when presenting what he believes is some something brilliant insight. He's the guy whose parents began telling him on his first day of kindergarten that not only was he the smartest kid in his class but the smartest kid in his whole school! And Les was stupid enough to believe them. Until he got to grad school.

By the end of the first semester, Les realized he was having trouble. In one of the grad courses he and I took together, the final was an oral exam. Basically, each student in the class went to the professor's office and he asked questions for 15 minutes. How he thought you did with his questions was your grade for the semester. I was among the first to take his oral exam. When I finished, Les tracked me down and insisted that I tell him the questions the professor asked. That's cheating and a real no, no. But he was so concerned about passing that I gave him the questions. When he asked how I answered the questions, I refused to tell him. But he had the questions. He did OK on the exam. I did better.

Once on our drive to school, I asked Les how he met Bunny. Les said that the undergraduate university he went to is in a small town in New England. The university is the main employer of the people who live in the town, people whom Les referred to as "townies". Les told me that the male students believed that the townie girls were easy marks because they all wanted to marry rich college students. The myth was that if you encouraged a townie girl to think you would whisk her away from a life of drudgery into a life of privilege, she would do anything for you. Les continued that the university has been around for 180 years ago. It took the townie girls no time at all 180 years ago to figure out that's what the male students were up to. Each generation of townie mothers passed that information on to their daughters. Townie girls hung out with and married townie boys. They wanted nothing to do with university students.

"So how did he meet Bunny?" One night, two of Les's dormmates wanted to go to a townie bar to pick up townie girls. Les knew it was not going to happen but he went along. University students were not really welcome at townie bars but, unless you tried to hit on someone's girlfriend, they were pretty much ignored. The three of them were drinking at the bar, looking over the girls, when Bunny came up to Les and asked if he wanted to buy her a drink. Les told me that he's had some success with women but Bunny was the best looking women he's ever seen in real life. And she was hitting on him. For once, he said, he was speechless. Bunny sat on the bar stool next to him and asked if he couldn't buy a thirsty girl a drink. Les said he finally got his wits about him and bought her the drink. They got a table together and spend the next few hours talking. When her friends came to get her to go home, she told them she's staying with Les. She spend the night with him in his dorm room. Les smiled and said it was like winning the lottery. He had already fallen in love with Bunny. They were inseparable from then on. Bunny fulfilled all his wants and needs. She's the best thing that's ever happened to him. They married just after he graduated and moved back to his home town so he could attend our grad school.

Marco started teaching at our university the same semester I started grad school. He was 30, single, and came from a South American country. He has very wealthy parents and was educated in the U.S., receiving his Ph.D. in psychology from a prestigious university in the Northeast. He was hired as an assistant professor, tenure track. I could not have picked anyone better to assist. Marco wanted nothing to do with his students. I did their exams and graded them. If they had questions or concerns, they came to me. Marco had to post office hours but I had to be there to intercept any student foolish enough to think Marco would be there to meet with them. So he was perfect to assist. I didn't have anyone looking over my shoulder or telling me what to do. He didn't care what I did. The only students Marco is interested in are good looking female ones. And they don't have to be that good looking. Marco pursues pretty much any female who crosses his path.

All our grad school classes are down the hall from the psychology department. Grad school classes begin at 5:30pm, each lasting 75 minutes with 15 minutes between classes. I had a key to Marco's office and would leave my stuff, my coat and books I didn't need for class, in his office.

One night, between classes, I needed to pick up something I for my next class when a young, very pretty, girl emerged from Marco's office. She had to be no more than 18 years old. Probably a freshman but not in the intro course Marco and I were teaching. Marco was in his office and I asked who she was. He said she knocked on his office door and asked him about his intro psych course. She has to take an intro course next semester and wanted to pick the best one. Marco said she asked him out. He asked me if I thought it was OK for him to date undergraduates. I asked him if he's insane.

I told Les in the car the next morning about Marco and the girl. I thought it was nuts for him to mess around with students. Any complaints from a female student and he'd be out the door along with his career. Les was assisting a different professor and didn't know Marco well. But he had heard about Marco and his interest in the ladies. He looked at me and said, "Why don't you just let Marco be Marco."

That brings us to the Spring semester of 2024. When I went to get Les one Wednesday in March for school, he, as usual, wasn't ready. I went in to get him and, as always, he and Bunny were cleaning up after breakfast with the guy who takes Bunny to school waiting for her. Les and this guy had big smiles on their faces while Bunny looked really pissed. Les showed me his new watch. The guy who drives Bunny to school bought it for him.

The guy said, "Well, your watch broke and everyone needs a good watch," and patted Les on the back.

When we got in the car, I said the watch looks expensive. Les was typing on his phone and didn't answer. He finished with his phone and, smiling, said the watch is over $90 on Amazon.

I asked, "Why would this guy would buy you a $90 watch?"

Les replied, "He heard me complaining that my old watch no longer worked. He's just a nice guy who wanted to help out. He's just a friendly guy."

I looked at Les skeptically and his smile started to fade. He looked back at me like he'd lost his best friend. It had dawned on him that nobody is that nice. Neither of us had anything to say for the rest of the drive. Les was lost in his own thoughts and kept looking at his watch like it would answer his questions.

A few weeks later, in April, I was in my small office in the library after lunch trying to get some work done when Les knocked on my door. He said he had to get home. An emergency. I said we have classes later. Can't it wait? No, he had to get home right now. I took him home. On the way, he told me he had the new book by a psychologist we both admired. He had read it. Did I want to borrow his copy? Yes. I can't afford to buy books and the university library hadn't gotten a copy of that book yet. When we arrived at his house I followed him in. He and Bunny live in a two floor duplex rental. You enter and the staircase to the second floor is on the left, the living room on the right and the kitchen and back door beyond the living room. The second floor has a second bedroom to the right, a bathroom to the left and the master bedroom down the hall. When we entered he told me to hurry, waving at me follow him up the stairs. We ran up the stairs and he looked in the second bedroom, then the bathroom and then the master bedroom. He looked in the closet and under the bed. Then he ran down the stairs, yelling at me to hurry. I'd realized by then that I was supposed to be the designated witness in his divorce. I wasn't sure I wanted that role. I followed him downstairs but I was no longer rushing. I caught up to him in the kitchen. He was standing there, trying to catch his breath, when Bunny came in the back door with a man I didn't know. Bunny ran to Les, kissed and hugged him and asked why he was home so early.

The man came up to Les, said, "Hey bro," and pulled Les into a hug.

The guy was big, overweight, with greasy hair and a scraggly goatee. He was wearing a wool sports coat, dress pants and a thin tie. His clothes looked like he had slept in them. Les introduced him to me as one of his lifelong friends. Les had three friends who had all been buddies since elementary school. This was one of them. I told Les I had to get back to school. Where's the book he's lending me? He said he's coming back to school with me. He'll have the book for me when I pick him up tomorrow. We didn't talk much on the way back to school but I could tell that he was relieved that the man he found with Bunny was his friend and someone he trusted. There were no more emergencies in the middle of the day. Les seemed satisfied that Bunny wasn't cheating. Les never lent me his copy of the book. Always some excuse. And that's all you really need to know about Les.

Just after we started the Fall 2024 semester, on a Monday morning in September, Les was actually waiting on his porch when I arrived to take him to school. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept. I asked him what was up. He said he and Bunny are divorcing. I asked him what happened. Here's what he told me.

"Bunny and I were at a party last Friday night. When we were driving home, Bunny told me that she wanted to leave the party with another man she met there. In the future, she said, if she's attracted to a guy, she's going to leave with him. I better get used to that. She told me that she doesn't believe people are meant to be monogamous. At least she isn't built that way. She has always needed multiple men in her life. She then told me that she has been sleeping with all three of my lifelong friends. When you drove me home in the middle of the day last April, she and my lifelong buddy had just finished in the master bedroom and had gone for a walk. If we had gotten there 30 minutes before, we'd have found them together in bed.

"I asked Bunny if his three friends know about the others and Bunny. Bunny said they did. She has been with two of them together a few times. Bunny also told me that she had dropped out of the state university shortly after the Fall semester began. The guy waiting in their kitchen in the morning isn't there to drive Bunny to school. He's there, waiting for me to leave, so he can take Bunny to bed. I asked who else she's sleeping with. She said there are occasionally some random guys that are just pickups. But my three former friends and her morning guy, along with me, kept her pretty busy."

Les looked at me and said, "I asked Bunny if you are one of the guys she's been hooking up with. She said I was always there whenever you were around. She was never alone with you. She said you must be really happy with your girlfriend because you've never even flirted with her. Is that true? Were you ever involved with Bunny?"

I replied, "I have never had any interest in your wife."

Les asked Bunny why she was telling him all this now. She replied, "The idiot felt guilty so he bought you the watch as if that would make things even. He didn't talk to me about the watch first. I knew his gift would make you suspicious. When you surprised us in the middle of the day, I knew you were trying to catch me. You almost did. I realized you would find out about me sooner or later. I'd either slip up or one of your friends would get a guilty conscience and tell you he's sleeping with me. But most important, I really wanted to leave with the guy I met at the party. I almost did leave with him but I knew you would have had a hissy fit, embarrassing yourself in front of everyone. And I owed it to you to tell you what's what. But I don't want to be restrained from now on."

Les continued that Bunny said she loves Les, wants to remain married and grow old with him but she's not going to give up her lovers. Les is, of course, free to date other women. Monogamy is so confining. An open marriage is so liberating. And there will never come a time when she and Les will be bored with each other. Discussing their adventures with others will always be exciting. And intimacy with Les is always much, much better after she's been with one of her lovers.

Les said Bunny is gone.

I didn't like the way he said gone so I asked, "Gone where?"

Les replied that he threw her out. One of his friends, they one I met when he walked in with Bunny, picked her up Friday night. She's staying with him. Les said he told Bunny he wants a divorce. She said she won't fight the divorce if that's what he wants. Les's mother, an attorney, has already written the divorce settlement and contacted Bunny. The divorce is in the works.

Les broke down and said, "In just a few minutes Friday night, I lost my wife and all my friends. How is that even possible?"

I have not seen or talked to Bunny since.

When I get home after my classes, Zara is usually asleep. Our only time to talk during the week in in the morning when we're getting ready to leave for school. I told her what happened with Les and Bunny and that I feel as though we should help Les get through this. His friends are gone and there doesn't seem to be anyone else. Zara had never meet Les but I've talked about him. She said sure. Why don't you invite him for dinner on Friday. I did.

Our drives to and from school no longer involved discussions about psychology. Les wanted to talk about Bunny and their breakup. He'd go from anger at Bunny and his former friends to sadness and regret to trying to figure out what he did wrong. He'd went from Bunny being the worst person who ever existed to trying to figure out why he wasn't man enough for her. I said nothing. Just listened to him vent. On the commute on Friday, I asked if he wanted to come to dinner with Zara and me that night. He could meet Zara. He said that's better than spending the weekend alone or with his parents.

I thought, "Great. Zara and I are more interesting than sitting at home staring at the wall."

But he wanted to talk about Bunny and their failed marriage. He told me he should have known about Bunny and never married her. I asked how he could have known. It's not like she told him that she would never be exclusive. He said after they met, all through his undergraduate years, they spent almost every night together. She worked at a big retail store in town during the day but would meet him at his dorm when he finished his last class. Except Thursdays. On Thursdays, Bunny told him she had to spend time with her grandmother who lived in town. She couldn't just pop in, say Hi to her grandmother and leave. So Bunny couldn't see him Thursdays. Les tried to persuade Bunny to forget grandma and spend the time with him. But she told him this was something she had to do.