Once Again Pt 01

Having been gone more than a month enjoying grandkids and other family it's time to get back in the saddle. I didn't take my laptop which turned out to be a good thing, there was no time for anything on my lap but little people, which I absolutely adored. I checked in with my phone a few times, I'd like to thank those who continue to read, comment on, and score my older stories when I'm not posting new ones.

With that in mind it's time to start a new batch of stories, some already in print, others still dancing in my head. I labeled this as romance, but the powers that be will likely switch it to the IR category. If you're looking for a story where one race or the other is somehow superior you'll hate this one. If you like love stories regardless of skin color you might enjoy the following.

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It was karaoke night at the local tavern we hospital workers tended to frequent. Sitting toward the back watching several people make complete fools of themselves I was surprised when Karen Cullins took the stage. I hadn't seen her on stage previously so I was surprised when she took the mic and picked a song. This particular night she was singing Lying Eyes by the Eagles, I was mesmerized by her voice, I had often heard her singing on the ward, but this, this was an entirely new level. Her deep brown skin seemed to be a magnet to single guys, in nursing school she had more suitors than she had nights available. Once we were working full time at the hospital she had plenty of black doctors and professionals seeking her attention.

The song she had chosen was aimed at a young doctor she'd fallen for hard, it broke her heart when she found out he was dating two other nurses. As she belted out the song she stared at the doctor who was eagerly attempting to escape. She may have arrived with him but she damned sure wouldn't be leaving with him. When the song finished she looked around the room, I knew whom she was seeking, me, plain old white guy Bob, the one who was always there when she got kicked to the curb.

We met at and graduated from nursing school together. Like me she had been the first one of her family to graduate from any kind of secondary learning, from the moment we met in class we hit it off immediately. At five foot eight and an attractive figure I found her alluring, even if I knew I didn't stand a chance of ever winning her heart. Through time we became close enough that we shared small things about our lives, she would often talk about who she was dating as though I were a big brother or someone akin to that. Over lunch each day she kept me abreast of the latest guy and what his particular quirks were. I had asked her one day if she wasn't afraid of contracting an STD with so many lovers.

With her hand on mine across the table she set me straight, "Oh hell no Bobby, I don't sleep with them. Shit, it takes most of them a while before I'll let them kiss me. I aint lookin for a hot and heavy hook up, that's not to say it hasn't happened a few times, but they sure as hell don't ride this chick bareback. They take me to dinner, maybe go dancing, but they don't get in this girl's pants unless I think it's real."

We had been working at the same hospital about half a year when the first heartfelt crying bout was shed upon my shoulder following a long grueling shift. She'd been dating an ER nurse for a few months and was seriously in love with this guy, that is until she discovered he was married. As we sat in a Denny's slurping coffee and sharing three overdone pancakes (yes, it's not a great place to dine, but then most aren't at one in the morning). I comforted her and tried to find a way to express that I felt she could do better than the losers she'd been dating, but the words never left my lips.

One more time I would chicken out and one more time I would walk home feeling empty, I wanted to be with Karen, but I didn't think she would ever want to be with me. That opinion was solidified a few months later when her heart was cast to the curb and stomped on once again, my doorbell rang around eleven as I was preparing to hit the rack. The door wasn't open all the way and she threw herself into my arms, literally sobbing on my shoulder. The light grey shirt I was wearing had a huge wet circle of tears on the left. Nudging the door closed with my foot I ushered her to my tattered couch, the one with a blanket covering the worn-out cushion covers. As her story of woe lingered on, (she's one of those girls who has to tell you EVERY single detail, whether it relates to the story or not), I found myself wondering how she continually got herself into these situations.

It was time to ask, "Karen, why don't you date guys who will make you happy and not cry? Why do you continuously gravitate to the bad boys, so to speak. I personally know of at least three guys who would love to date you and would treat you right."

She sat up staring at me, "Who? Just who are these guys and why haven't they asked me out?"

I was hesitant but decided in for a dime in for a dollar, "Erik in radiology, Steven in cardiology and ....."

Before I could go on to mention my name she stopped me, "White guys, all white guys right?" I nodded. "Oh hell no. I'm not gonna waste my time on some limp dicked white guy with a bucket list that says screw a black girl on it. Hell no, I got no time for a bunch of worthless white boys."

My face must have revealed how hurt I was because she quickly tried to do damage control, "That doesn't include you Bobby. You're my closest male friend, I didn't mean anything by that."

I looked her square in the eyes, "I think you did, I think you lump every white guy into one category and automatically reject them. You answered your own question as to why they don't ask you out. Why would any man want to be denigrated like that, regardless of skin color, or culture? I'm really tired Karen, turn the lights out when you leave, the door will lock when it closes."

I fell asleep before I heard her leave, walking to the kitchen of my tiny apartment the next morning I knew why, she never left. Curled up on my raggedy couch was Karen still sleeping, I covered her with an afghan mom had made for my sixteenth birthday and quietly made myself a cup of coffee. I was dressed and packing a meager lunch of a ham sandwich, a few pickles, and an apple when she began to stir. Her clothes were rumpled and her hair messed up, but the natural beauty I'd come to admire shown through.

"Good morning Karen. Coffee? I'm about to head to work, cereal is in the cupboard, the bananas are ready to be eaten and there's a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Just turn out the lights when you leave."

Knowing she was on second shift I left as she stared at me in disbelief. I wasn't peeved, but I'd experienced and heard it all before, I needed to get to work, plain and simple. She would be starting a half hour before my quit time so the likelihood of seeing each other that day was slim to none. I felt badly for her, I couldn't figure out why she was attracted to the philanderers, the players, and the bad boys. She was like a moth to a flame when it came to those type personalities, easily drawn in and then burned. With her natural beauty and sparkling personality, she could have just about any guy she wanted, she just wanted the wrong ones.

What is it about a guy or girl who think they'll be the one to change the bad behavior of others? We rationalize that we'll slowly draw them out of their destructive ways, when in reality they nearly always drag us into theirs. Such was the case with Karen, she didn't know it but she was my closest friend, not simply my closest female friend, not my closest friend of color, my absolute closest friend. It was apparent she had men and women who were closer to her than me, but it didn't daunt my desire to one day be the one she clung to and loved. I knew that would probably never happen, but one can dream.

The next night I was slipping off into that heavy haze just before sleep overtakes you when I heard the front door open. My mind was screaming "what the hell" as my body bolted from bed grabbing my trusty Louisville Slugger from behind the door on the way to the front of my apartment. I was at the end of the short hallway cued up for a grand slam homerun swing into whoever was walking in when the light turned on. There stood none other than Karen, eyes big as silver dollars and hands up in a defensive motion. My first thought was, "oh great, not again". Thankfully, that's not what came from my mouth.

"What the hell Karen?" I blurted. "You damned near got your face rearranged. How is it you have a key to my door?"

Her hands were shaking as she lowered her arms, "Bobby, please put the bat down. I'm sorry, I should have given more thought to just walking in. As for the key, I found the extra one in your pantry and had one made this afternoon. I was gonna tell you at work but never saw you. Why weren't you working in the ER like you usually do?"

"Don't change the subject Karen, you've been busy with Randolf, or Gandolf, or whatever his name is, I just know it's some screwed up Hobbit name. Shit, you even made a permanent shift change to work with him and now he's kicked your ass to the curb. So, enlighten me as to why you felt you should have a key to my apartment? Enquiring minds want to know."

I could see remorse on her face and I wanted to stay pissed, at the same time I knew my resolve was waning and she'd soon have me wrapped around her proverbial finger one more time. I needed to stay strong, but I knew it wouldn't last more than a few hours at most.

"Bobby, can you please put the bat away, you're frightening me. Is it okay if I come in so we can talk? I grabbed a patty melt on the way home, I'll share it with you."

I moved toward the bedroom to put the bat away, considering I'd been standing in just my underwear I felt it would be wise to put on some sweatpants and a tee shirt. Karen had gone into my tiny kitchen to warm the patty melt and grab herself a beer, as I approached she gestured as to whether I wanted a beer, I declined. We ate the patty melt in silence, standing I took her plate and put it next to the sink to wash in the morning.

Looking across the small drop leaf table she stared into my eyes, "I truly am sorry. I wasn't thinking, please accept my apology." I nodded. "Now you need to answer my question, why weren't you in ER?"

I had originally intended to tell her I'd applied for a position in ICU, except on that day she changed shifts so I never saw her at lunch. From that point forward it was a moot point, she was always too busy with what's his name to have a celebratory pizza and beer with me when I got the position.

"I'm no longer in ER. I applied for a position in ICU and was accepted. I started three days ago, I'm surprised you noticed."

"Don't be like that Bobby. You know I love you, we've been buds for too long to be in a snit. I didn't see you at any of the shift changes but it never occurred to me you had left the ER. I may be moving to a new position as well, cardiology. Doctor Montgomery needs a fulltime nurse so I've applied, I love ER, but it's taking its toll on me. I need somewhere a bit less hectic and demanding."

I still had no idea why she thought she could just let herself in. "Back to the key Karen. What is it you planned to do at my place and why didn't you go to yours, it's certainly closer to the hospital?"

Fidgeting she looked down, then up at me. It became clear as day without her saying a word.

"He's in your apartment isn't he. Oh my god Karen, what the hell? You need to call the cops and get him out of there?"

More fidgeting, then the tears. Damn, I hate when women cry, all I wanted to do was fix her but how the hell would I do that when she's crying crocodile tears. I settled back in my chair and waited.

"I can't call the cops, we signed the lease together a month ago. I'm only hoping he'll want it for himself and let me remove my name. Shit Bobby, it's an effed up mess and I have no one to blame but myself. What am I gonna do?"

I didn't give it a second thought, "Stay here. The couch is a sleeper, a fairly decent one, I slept on it the week my sister was here. You take the bed, I'll do the sleeper. We'll have to share the bathroom and before this goes any further I am not going to remove my toiletries from it while you're here. My toothbrush stays, my hairbrush and my deodorant stay, beyond that it's yours to use as you see fit."

"Oh, wait. One more thing, I don't want to have to battle with bras and panties and nylons hanging over the curtain every time I shower. I have a drying rack, you can use that. It isn't open to debate, take it or leave it, I don't care."

I couldn't tell if she was pissed or pleased, reaching across the table she took my hand, "Thanks, but you don't have to do that. I can stay at my brothers until this is sorted out. I would like to keep the key though in case I need somewhere to escape the three ankle biters who rule his house. Would you mind if I stay tonight? I grabbed underwear and stuff on the way here, he's working overtime so I didn't have to put up with his nasty mouth when I stopped for clothes."

I made up the sleeper as she got ready for bed, she was in the bathroom so long that I quickly peed in the kitchen sink with the water running before I pissed my pants. I found myself thinking as I relieved myself, "the shit I do because she's my friend". As she walked from the bathroom to the bedroom I think she forgot where she was, under a short nightie her nipples were pressed against the fabric, the bright pink panties contrasted with her dark brown skin. I couldn't help but stare, she looked and saw me gawking, she hastened her pace and was out of sight. Walking into the living room with one of my dress shirts covering herself she sat on the edge of the sleeper.

"Sorry about the skin shot, I wasn't thinking about where I was and left the bathroom half-dressed out of habit. Hope you don't mind my using this shirt."

I wasn't sorry about seeing her half naked body and told her so, "I didn't mind seeing your body, you're beautiful Karen. I know I'm no one special to you but I wanted to tell you how pretty I think you are."

She scoffed, "Pffft. What are you talking about no one special? You're my rock Bobby, you never fail me, my life would be empty without you in it. I know you start at seven tomorrow so I'll let you sleep."

I lay in the dark thinking that if I'm so special why do I feel so mediocre in her world? She's never been unkind, but then she's never shown anything more than a simple friendship toward me either. She stayed two more nights before moving to her brothers, sadly that was the closest I had ever been to her. I say sadly because in my pinion it was over all to quickly. Considering she only sang Karaoke when she got shat upon I wondered what song she would choose to end the latest lesson in futility, I never found out, I didn't go to the watering hole on Karaoke night this time.

I'd been at my new position just over a month when I met Adelade, everyone called her Del or Addy. I instantly liked and wanted to know more about her beyond the fact that she worked in ICU, was cute as hell, and had a bubbling personality. I noticed the fact that she was black seemed to matter to me, then I began to wonder, "Am I projecting my affection toward Adelade because she was black and Karen wanted nothing to do with me"? The more we worked together the more I pushed those thoughts aside, the simple truth was ... I liked being around her.

I hadn't seen Karen for almost two months when we happened to cross paths in the cafeteria, I was sitting with Addy when Karen walked in with the best-looking guy I'd seen her with ... ever. When I looked up and made eye contact she immediately made her way to our table. I stood to hug her and then to shake the gentleman's hand, taking a better look at him I thought he seemed considerably older than Karen. I quickly dis-spelled that thought, it was her boat, she could float it any way she liked. We exchanged cordialities and hugged once more before they walked away.

As I sat down Addy looked at me and asked, "How do you know her?"

"We went through nursing school together and then got hired here upon graduating. We both tested and got certified within a few weeks of each other. I've known her for several years now. Why, do you know Karen as well?"

She fiddled with her food a moment and then looked up, "She doesn't have a very good track record for guys, she seems to go through them quickly. Nobody says she's loose or slutty, but she'd better be careful, she's swimming in the deep end with Dr. Montgomery."

I gave her my "what are you talking about stare."

She obliged with an answer, "Dr. Montgomery is the most handsome and successful black doctor in two counties .... and he knows it. He's known to sleep around, and don't take this wrong, but I'm surprised he's with Karen."

Now I was confused, "Why wouldn't he be with Karen? She's sweet, cute, fun to be around and has a great personality."

"Okay Bob, again, don't take this wrong. He normally goes after white women, usually married. The impression he gives is that if he can get a white married woman into bed he's superior to all the rest, no matter who they are. Mark my words Bob, he'll break Karen's heart. He'll string her along, he'll get her into bed, that'll last six months to a year and the itch will take over. He'll dump her for a white housewife and think nothing of it. As if to say, "take a number please, NEXT."

To say I was caught off guard and befuddled is an understatement. Sure, I'd heard he was a player, but rumors in hospitals are like flies around manure ... everywhere. Some are believable, most are not. Walking back from lunch I was more quiet than usual pondering what Addy had told me, wondering if Karen was aware of his reputation, then chastising myself. Of course she knew, she's smart and besides, it was her choice to make, not mine. A few weeks later once again over lunch Addy asked while looking serious, "So how long were you and Karen together? You seem to still have an attachment to her."

I choked on my sandwich, "Together? We've never been together in a romantic sense, heck, we've never so much as kissed, and we had ample opportunity when she stayed at my place awhile back between boyfriends. Nope, we've never been together, we're just friends. Why do you ask?"

Her answer floored me, "Because I would like to get to know you better. At first I thought you were just another white guy who wanted to get in my pants because I'm black, but as we've worked together I've come to realize you aren't like that. You're a nice guy. Am I wrong?"

I chuckled, "Do you honestly expect me to say that if the occasion arose where we were going to make love that I would refuse because I'm as you say, "a nice guy"? I can tell you I'm not that nice. If I made love to you it would have nothing to do with what color your skin is. Does that answer your question?"

"It does. Given that we are in the twenty first century and women are allowed to be more assertive I'm going to ask point blank. When are you going to take me to dinner and dancing? Because I love to dance. And I know you dance because I've seen you at the bar."

I laughed, she was right. Asking a guy out twenty years ago would have seemed odd and unusual. "Since we both have the weekend off how about Saturday? Do you have a preference as to where you'd like to go?"

She smiled and touched my hand, "Some place nice for dinner, maybe Italian or that Greek place, Zorba's. I hear their food is delicious. As for dancing, Mr. BoJangles, I don't even need to think about that. They have the most eclectic assortment of music if you can't find something to dance to at that place you don't wanna dance. I don't mean you specifically, I mean people in general."