{I am writing less now than when I used to, getting older I guess. When my 2nd wife Dotty passed I think deep inside I thought that was the end, and I was headed there for nearly a decade. So I filled the time writing some crap, and I actually even sold some of the crap. Then I met Debra, since then it seems like there is always something weird going on. I blame her for that, but some of it can't be all her fault, like this little story.
My own fault, maybe? After all, I could have just stayed inside the house, everything would have been different if I had done that.
The wonderful relationship, the joy, the pure fun of being alive and part of another's life had I just minded my own business? That would have been the result.
Anyway, here we go, more mayhem, things keep happening to my Debs and me.
When I get like this I ramble all over the place, at my age I can if I want to.}
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I was sitting in my chair watching Big Brother on TV when all hell broke loose outside.
Kind of a messy show, one of the guys had to pour nasty stuff all over himself every time a bell rang, and it appeared to ring every few minutes.
Dumb stuff all the time on that TV show, I have no idea why I watch this crap. But I don't even have to watch it when it's on, I have the video recorder set so I can watch it whenever I want to.
Debs, my pretty Registered Nurse wife was down at the local hospital, she has to pull a long shift there a few times each month.
Shortage of nurses is what the deal is, government keeps cutting the medicare compensation so the other nurses keep quitting. That means she fills a 12 hour shift which always seems to be 14 to 16 hours.
There is one Doctor on staff down there at her clinic, has to be one due to some law I guess. But the Registered Nurses run the show, old Doc Barker stays in his office.
At the hospital Doctors come in when needed, the rest of the time it's only the nurses. That I know because I got to stay there a few times.
Debs manages to hang on with her work though, of course she would like to make more money but her $75K per year average is easily enough for us.
She is a bit overworked lately, her main concern is making a mistake, because her job is to heal people and if she does make an error it's a disaster.
So even her clinic job is now 10 hours, and sometimes she goes in on Saturday.
That and my own $934 a month after they take out for Medicare covers the bills. Debs, being a nurse, has full medical and me being the hubby, I am on that as a dependent which is cool.
Lately my finances have changed, I have been selling stuff online, actually doing pretty good at that.
Life is fine, and when Summer comes it quits raining for a few weeks, or days, or hours, depending on the Summer.
What the hell, this is Oregon, if we ain't wet, we get irritable.
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Summertimes on the Oregon Coast means tourists, they come down to beat the valley heat and then sit around bundled up in coats like it's cold or something.
I see them down there on the docks throwing hot dogs at the pet seals, you know, the "wildlife". Not very damned wild, those Seals. I try to go fishing and they lay there with their fat asses in the way and snarl at me when I whack them with my fishing pole.
They call that stuff harrassing "wildlife" but I figure since they are harrassing ME, then fair is fair.
The tourists? They head down to beat the valley heat, which works very well, by the way.
65° around our town is a heat wave. Normal is 50°.
So they get cold, jumping up and down, huddling close to each other.
Funny stuff.
Maybe 50 degree wind at 20 miles per hour off the ocean is a tad chilly to folks not used to it.
Not to me, that's T-shirt weather. OK, a heavy T-shirt, but still.
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Anyway, I was watching my TV show when I heard the sudden racket outside, I got up and went to the window, nothing. I turned to go back to my chair.
Then I heard it again, a woman's voice, screaming her fool head off down the street a ways.
I went out onto my porch, looked down there.
Some guy has smacking the hell out of a woman, she was jumping each time he swung, trying to avoid the blows.
He was kind of big and she was kind of little, and he had a grip on her arm.
This just does not happen in our town, at least not on our street.
Sure, stuff goes on down by the waterfront, people get drunk and..well..you know.
That gives the cops something to do and the local paper something to write about besides the Crab festivals which they seem to hold every other weekend.
Lots of Crabs in the river come August and September, the boats bring in the big ocean Crab, the market by then is mostly to the retail stores so any with missing legs or cracked shells get pitched right back into the river.
The tourists love that, boats everywhere. I hate that, plus there usually isn't a rock left to stand on and fish off of, so I wait until later in the Fall.
Anyway.
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"Hey!" I yelled at them.
The guy kept swinging, managing to connect and down the woman went. Then he started kicking her, I saw one kick land right on the back of her head!
Enough of that, what this guy was doing could really hurt the woman, so down my walk and through my gate I went at a dead run. Well, a pretty good clip anyway since I am 69 and running is not what that is any more.
It's called a quick shuffle.
"Hey!" I yelled again, the guy turned and saw me, then swung one at ME instead of stopping like I expected.
I ducked, but nowhere near fast enough, down I went. I was seeing stars, he gave me a kick in the ribs as I rolled over to my hands and knees with a groan.
That hurt like hell but now I was pissed off, I lashed out with a kick of my own and got him in the knee. I wear nice heavy shoes, the kind with Velcro instead of laces since the shoe laces got a bit too far away for me to reach comfortably the last few years.
Damned if he didn't go down himself.
That exercise bike Debs has me work out on down at the gym paid off, I guess.
The woman, who now I realized was just a young girl got up and took off like a shot down the street.
The guy was back on his feet, he started to chase her but stopped and grabbed his leg.
I guess I got him pretty good.
Then he turned on me again, now he was really mad.
"I will kill you, you fucking son of a bitch!" He yelled, going for another kick.
I had reached in my pocket for my little folding fishing knife while his attention was diverted. I saw he was going to try and kick me in the head so I sort of rolled forward and his left foot went right on by me.
When his kick missed me I swung the little 3 inch blade as hard as I could.
It went in smack dab into his you know what's!
Which was kind of where I was aiming. Damn good knife, too, I use it for fishing, plus I can shave with it.
Down he went again, I had no idea at all that a man could scream like that.
Maybe the asshole should have tried out for America's Got Talent? The guy hit a high note that would match the best fat lady opera singer on the planet.
Three inches of razor sharp blade in the balls will make any man scream, I guess.
