Not My Type Except

"Christy's available. She's hot. Why haven't you asked her out?"

"Laura, we've been friends forever, and I appreciate that you want the best for me. But I can handle myself on the girlfriend scene."

"I'm not so sure about that. Clearly, if you haven't asked Christy out by now, you aren't handling things very well. So, what's the deal with her?"

"OK, since you're a very good friend, I'll humor you. The short answer is, she's not really my type."

"I kind of guessed that from the fact that you haven't asked her out. You need to say more than that."

"Of course Christy's hot. Everyone knows that. But just because a girl is hot doesn't mean I'm going to go chasing. I go for certain things."

"Like what?"

"Those answers get a bit intimate."

"I can handle it." She looked at me expectantly.

"Here's what turns me on." I decided to just blurt it out. "A tight, athletic body. That includes the chest and ass, so I'm in A and B-cup territory up top, and firm down below. I like brunettes, especially those that let their long hair hide their face sometimes. I like them a little reserved until they get to know you and aren't anymore. I like them smart, playful, and wicked as hell. I like them to have really sensitive breasts, which seems to go with the smaller sizes."

Laura raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a wicked little boy, and I like ways to get a girl hot and bothered. I'll use and abuse any advantage I can get.

Laura rolled her eyes.

"So, now you've got my ideal. Let's talk about Christy. She's every man's fantasy—flaming red hair, at least a full C-cup in the chest, tall, flirtatious. Look at all the men that hit on her. Shouldn't she be someone's trophy wife? That's not what I'm looking for."

"Trophy wife! You of all people, Dan. I thought you weren't that dense."

"What?"

"So a girl's good looking, tall, curvy, vivacious. That means she's stupid or some sort of plaything?"

"No, I didn't say that."

"So what did you say?"

"I don't know! I'm just trying to explain that I don't think we would work out. I'm not trying to take Christy down or anything. And she sure as hell doesn't need me."

"Well, let me tell you something. A few things, maybe. Christy is extremely smart and accomplished. She doesn't parade that around, but believe me, it's there. That's part of the reason she doesn't date much—most men are looking for a trophy and that's definitely not who she is. Yes, she's friendly and flirtatious, but what's wrong with that? I happen to know there's a lot on the inside. You would too, if you opened your eyes and got out of your narrow 'type.'"

"Now let's move to the outside. Christy keeps herself very fit, and she enjoys all sorts of outdoor activities. She's just careful about keeping the sun off. You two would work out very well together on that front."

"Finally, let's talk about that wicked side you say you like. I happen to know that her natural playfulness extends to all aspects of her life. I think that you would enjoy getting her hot and bothered—a lot."

Laura blew out her breath. "I can't believe I'm here giving some ignorant man a lesson on women. The bottom line is this: Christy is solid gold. You're looking for brass. In fact, she may be too good for you. Trophy wife! Sheesh."

"Alright!" I threw up my hands. "Maybe I'm missing something. I'll ask her out, if only to find out whether you know what you're talking about."

Laura fixed me with her gaze. "If you have the guts, don't screw it up. Solid gold, remember? She's interested, but her standards are high."

"Interested, huh? Well, I wouldn't be much of a man if I passed on a hot babe that was interested."

"We'll find out how much of a man you are," Laura said, rolling her eyes again. "You've sure needed a heap of help so far."

"That's why I keep great women friends around—to give me a crutch," I grinned back at her.

"You owe me, Dan, a whole lot. Now don't disappoint me."

Of course, Laura's words infected my mind over the next few days. She and I had been very good friends since grade school—almost like brother and sister—and she knew me better than anyone else. So, Christy was interested. And maybe there was more to her than I gave her credit for. She certainly was hot, and my "type" started to evolve a bit toward curvy, leggy, larger-than-life redheads.

When I got the invite to a small party that Laura was hosting, I knew exactly what my little manipulative friend was up to. When I arrived, Laura greeted me. By some amazing coincidence, she had been talking to Christy, and she left us alone to attend to other guests.

"Hello, Christy. You look great!" I gave her a hearty hug.

"Dan. So good to see you again!" Her eyes locked onto mine, their searching look belying the bubbly greeting.

We made small talk, catching up on things. As usual, Christy's infectious personality kept the conversation fun.

At one point, she touched my arm and leaned in, feigning secrecy. "Here alone? Surely a handsome hunk like you would have two or three in tow?"

I laughed. "As fun as that sounds, I'm here alone. I have a friend that's said it's because I'm too dense to pick up on what's good for me."

"Sometimes friends can be right."

I looked into her eyes, but they showed nothing. I decided to keep going.

"In fact, that same friend has been goading me to ask you out."

"Oh really? And would you have done it if she hadn't goaded you?"

Suddenly, everything changed. The vivacious bombshell had disappeared, and I saw two eyes boring straight into mine. Behind them lurked a powerful intelligence that brooked no patience with fools.

"To be honest, probably not."

I saw a flash of anger cross behind her eyes, but then they went back to just intense. "A point in your favor for a truthful answer."

"It seemed like a good idea to tell the truth right then."

"Hmmm, he picks up on a few of the signals at least. So?"

"Am I going to ask you out?"

Christy just looked at me.

"Christy, could I interest you in joining me for dinner and a show next weekend?"

"That would be lovely, Dan." The easy, friendly Christy was back.

"I'll call you to work out details. Would Saturday work?"

"Perfectly."

"I'm looking forward to it, Christy."

"Me too, Dan." She leaned in close again. "Sweet dreams," she whispered, and then was gone. I tried to figure out what just happened.

Of course, Laura was right there and called out in a singsong voice. "You are soooo out of your league, Danny boy. I can't wait to watch this play out."

"Pretty smug, are you?"

"Oh yeah, and it feels great!"

We both laughed.

Christy skillfully avoided me during the rest of the party—always deeply engaged with somebody. Part of her appeal included her ability to focus completely on her partner. Only when she was leaving did she circle around to me again.

"Dan, it was lovely to see you again." She pulled me into a hug and then whispered into my ear: "Look forward to having you to myself Saturday. Bye."

"Me too, Christy," I mumbled back, my head swimming.

Of course, Laura was right there. "Christy, thank you so much for coming. No party would be complete without you. You add—what should I call it—a certain

frisson

to the evening."

"My pleasure, Laura. Thank you so much for asking, and for assembling such an interesting and fun group of guests."

They hugged, and with a quick wink to me, Christy was out the door. Laura turned to me.

"I so wish I could be a fly on the wall for your first date! Oh, to watch Christy rework everything you thought you knew about women—it would be fabulous."

"Well, you're going to have to settle for a highly edited story of events. But I'll admit you're right. There's a lot more to Christy than I gave her credit for, and my type is starting to move a little toward tall, curvy, redheads. Whether I thank you for pushing me her way—we'll have to see about that."

"I'm feeling pretty confident, myself. I'll have to start thinking about what I want as a thank you gift."

"Tell you what. I'll thank you in advance by helping you clean up tonight. You can wonder how I'm going to punish you if you're wrong."

"Oooohhh. Talking smack already, huh? Well think your worst, cause I'm not worried."

We laughed and got her place cleaned up. I spent the next day making plans and then called Christy to confirm that they worked for her.

Over the next week, my mind kept returning to Christy, and how she had played me at the party. If that was any indication, I was really going to enjoy getting to know her better. In fact, I couldn't remember a woman setting my imagination afire so quickly.

Get a grip on yourself. You'll see her soon enough.

Boy, I needed to be careful. I could see Laura's grin every time.

Saturday came, and I stopped by to pick Christy up.

"Wow. You take my breath away," I said when she opened her door. "That green dress really sets off your hair."

Christy tossed her locks over her shoulder, and then smiled.

"The flowers are lovely, Dan. You dress up well yourself."

Fortunately I had worn a dark suit for this first date. Something told me that Christy would dress up, especially to a nice dinner and a show.

On the drive over, Christy conversed with her usual sparkle, and the time flew. I went high-class for this first date and escorted her to an elegant restaurant with great views of the city and river—within easy walking distance from the theater. Of course, I had arranged a window table, but when the maitre d' got a look at Christy, he started.

"Madam, sir, please allow me a moment to adjust your table to something that better matches the occasion."

Christy winked. She knew she was a knockout, and she allowed the maitre d' to escort her to our table—the best in the house. I followed and watched her wake ripple out through the room. Both sexes took notice—Christy possessed a

presence

that demanded attention.

You learn a lot by dining with someone, and I got an education. Christy knew food, she knew wine, and she knew how to handle herself. Once again, she proved a vibrant companion—composed, friendly, and completely comfortable as herself. The dinner flew by, and then it was time to walk her over to the show.

Of course, she was conversant in literature and the theater, and she moved with grace through the crowd. Charming an usher, she handed him her phone and posed us for a couple of pictures—turning up her wattage like some runway model. She even saw a couple of friends she knew, and introduced me as her handsome companion. I enjoyed the play immensely, carried along by our mutual enthusiasm.

Afterward, not wanting the evening to end, we strolled down to the river, arms linked together. We chatted and watched the street performers, then Christy charmed another person into taking some more photos. This time, she had us walk, her arm through mine, into the camera while it fired away.

"We'll see if the lighting allows a good picture," she said. "Something to remember the evening by."

Finally, I escorted her back to my car and drove us back to her place. As romantic as this evening had been, I knew how it had to end.

"Christy, you were a fantastic companion for this evening. I can't remember ever having such a great time."

"Dan, you made a

very

special occasion for me as well. I loved it."

"Would you mind if I called sometime soon, perhaps to arrange another get-together?"

"I'll look forward to it."

I took her hand, kneeled slightly, and brushed my lips against it.

"Thank you again for an enchanting evening. Good night, Christy."

"It was my pleasure. Good night, Dan. Pleasant dreams." Her words dripped with allure.

I walked back to the car and drove home with Hurricane Christy blowing through every corner of my mind. Wow. What a woman. The evening flowed through my mind as I fell asleep, mixing with dreams.

The next morning, I was not at all surprised to see a text from Laura.

Meet for brunch?

Might as well get the interrogation over with. Where to?

I sent back.

We met at a breakfast nook that Laura and I both liked. We sat outside on a beautiful day, and the place was bustling enough to make private conversation possible.

"So you can wipe that smug expression off your face." Laura had been looking at me until I said something.

"Why would I do that? Dan, you don't know it yet, but you're lost. It's written all over your face."

"Look, I'll admit that it was a great evening. Fantastic, even. Christy's much more than I imagined. But I'm not lost."

"Denial is the first step of the healing process."

"Fuck you."

"Uh-uh. I'm here to help you fuck Christy." Laura's eyes were full of mirth.

"OK, Miss Matchmaker. What's your inside advice?"

"Dan, Dan, Dan. You're dating a woman. Each one is unique. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

So that's how Laura conned me into giving her a pretty thorough itinerary of my date with Christy.

"So that's the play-by-play on our date," I concluded.

"That sounds like reasonably detailed version of the facts. Now, let's talk about the emotions. Tell me what you felt, and what you think she felt."

"And how is this going to help me again?"

Laura looked up to the ceiling. "Grant me patience, I beseech you." Then she looked back to me. "Dan, clearly you needed help even to ask the poor lady out. It sounds like she opened your eyes a bit last night, but that's just a start. You still need help, badly. How can your best friend truly help you if she doesn't know the true story?"

I narrowed my eyes. "And this is really all about helping me?"

Laura leapt to her feet, hands clasped to her breast. "Ahhhhh, the arrow of mistrust, shot by my best friend!"

I looked around at the other diners' amused glances. "Sorry, I get to take her out once a week. She gets kind of excited. I'll try to keep her voice down." I stood and assisted her back to her seat.

"You're bad," Laura whispered.

"And you're not?"

"That's different."

"Right."

"Emotions, Dan. Yours and Christy's? Stop changing the subject."

"Christy was amazing. She was comfortable in every situation—whether chatting with me in the car or imperiously strutting to her table. The entire time was just plain fun. What do you think? I was captivated. I left her place with my mind in a whirl. I really want to see her again."

"And how about Christy?"

"You know that's harder. Like I said, it felt like she was having a great time. But doesn't she always look that way?"

"Christy does enjoy life, Dan. But think a little harder. When have you seen her 'turn up the wattage' as you put it?"

"I guess I haven't seen that."

"And why do you think she was doing it last night? Might it have anything to do with who she was with?"

"Now that you mention it, we did make a dashing couple."

"Dan, Christy lives for a man that can keep up with her. There are so many aspects of her that are waiting to be nurtured by the right partner. Don't you see? She

needs

you. And you definitely need her—you just don't fully see it yourself. But you will."

"Pretty confident in yourself, aren't you?"

"I'm your best friend, right? I've been with you for years, and watched you go through your romances and breakups. I can see what you won't admit to yourself. And I can see this romance coming from a mile away. It's going to be a doozy."

"Well now that you have my life all figured out, I'm guessing you have some more advice you'd like to pass along?"

Laura smiled sweetly. "Of course I do. Nice work, by the way, at her doorstep. You choose the high-class approach, which fit the evening. Always keep them wanting a little more."

"Thanks; that's what I thought."

"But you're going to call her today?"

"Yes, but why the push?"

Laura rolled her eyes. "Remember, you getting some high-priced female wisdom here. Most of the time we make men figure it out for themselves, so you owe me again. Now, think about Christy. She's had her eye on you for a while, and you didn't pick up on her signals—"

She put up her hands at my protest. "I know. I know. Men are dense. But that's no excuse. She also knows you were 'goaded' to ask her out. Now to you, this looks like you finally came to you senses and realized what a catch she is. To her, it could also be that you took advantage of the situation to spend the night out with a dazzling plaything on your arm. You did everything right at the end of the evening to dispel that notion, but you've got a lot more to do, Dan. Remember, Christy is solid gold—inside and out. That attracts a lot of men who are looking for something shiny on the outside."

"Jeez, Laura. We've just had one date. I'll treat her right, but I'm not even sure where this is going, yet."

Laura smiled. "You'll do fine, Dan. I'm just here to chaperone you along. Now, you're calling her, right?"

"Yes, Mom. I'll call her."

"That's a good boy." We both laughed.

I did call Christy that evening. I thanked her and we recounted the night before. From the way she talked, she enjoyed it thoroughly.

"Perhaps I could interest you in another night out, then?" I asked.

"You probably could. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, since last night was high culture, I was thinking about shaking it up and going downmarket. How about a burger and then cheering on a Roller Derby team?"

"You're on! I hope you can yell."

"You bet, sweetheart."

"Well, since you're so sure of yourself, when are we going to do this?"

"Saturday. And by the way, you were beautiful in that dress, but this is pretty-"

"-Dan. I'll leave my white gloves at home. Don't worry."

"Got it. Pick you up at six?"

"Perfect."

Of course, Laura checked in with me during the week.

"Unique choice for second date. I bet she'll like it."

"Yeah. She nailed the high class experience. I'm interested to see how she handles herself in a different environment."

"And if she nails it, you want to nail her?"

I laughed. "I

already

want to do that. I told you before that she's a hottie. The real question is whether I'm going to

act

on that impulse."

"And?"

"Got to see if the magic's there, for both of us."

"Well, Dan, I think you'll find that Christy works her magic on you in any kind of situation. I'm looking forward to watching you fall. Now, make sure you call her again. Wouldn't want her wondering, would we?"

"No, Mom. I'll call."

"That's a good boy."

Saturday, I showed up at Christy's door with a small box of high-end chocolates.

"Wow, you dress down very nice, Christy."

And she did. Her tight black t-shirt emphasized everything she had going for her above the waist. Her jeans hugged her hips and legs, and they flowed down to black Converse sneakers. She wore a black ball cap with her hair emerging in a flaming ponytail. Every item had just the right amount of wear, like she was saying

I go out and look this good all the time.

"Why, thank you! I hope you're ready to cheer?"

"Always. Let's go."

So that's how another evening started with Christy. Once again, she lived in her own skin, yet somehow lived larger than life. We kept up a lively conversation over our burgers, and then an image jumped into my mind, totally unbidden: Christy, as my partner.

This is how good it can be, Dan.

"What?" Of course, Christy had picked up on whatever tell I gave her.

"I just realized that I'm having a great time. You're a lot of fun, Christy."

"More than you expected?" Christy's eyes held mirth, but there was something more behind them.

"Yeah. I guess that's true. You...well...I..."